In “VD Day” | Episode 254 of The Black Lincoln Collective Comedy Podcast, the crew celebrates “Shiver If Day” with Tupac justice talk, savory detective pitches, Parker getting burgled for his Bluetooth adapter, earbuds, charger, cash, and sacred Aldi quarter, plus a full birthday roast for Fred’s 50th. Parker, Fred, and Allan get into the Tupac case, Keith D. jokes, “Baby Lane” confusion, revenge served with mashed potatoes, John Savory: Ghost Kitchen Detective, car break-ins, stolen tapes, Draper’s missing Braves-game car, a weird robbery story, a nun-on-a-cliff parable, and the USS Abraham Lincoln docking in Thailand after 200 days at sea. After the break, Fred gets roasted by AI, Satan, and Bernie Mac, then the guys talk middle school football, giant 13-year-old linemen, Super Bowl picks, farmers market scams, $10 Peruvian asparagus, sourdough bread, agua fresca, and the ongoing search for honest groceries. Listen now: https://americasfavoritepodcast.com
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Listen to this.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's shiver if they hey hey hey it's your day.
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It's not Monday, it's not Tuesday, it's not Wednesday, it's not Thursday, it's not Friday, it's not Saturday, it's not Thursday.
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It's shiver if day.
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Fasten your seat belts.
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It's going to be a bumpy night.
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A lie, a lie, a lie, it's a lie.
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Welcome to the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast.
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Oh, we can't be fun, we can stay up late, swap in male stories in the morning, and make a fuss.
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With your host, Parker.
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Featuring the Celts, we sound so flat and also yelling on the board.
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Let's go already!
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And now let's start the show.
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Welcome to the 254th edition of the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast.
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Yeah, let's go and do it!
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You still just go, are you going to buy the whole thing?
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No, I just want you to get it again.
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No, I appreciate you not doing that.
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Now featuring Hot Trip Salad.
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We are probably broadcasting with all of our fengies and tozes from the Polarical EC Studio.
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And you can of course check out the YouTube Facebook and Instagram, threads, twink, twok, all those, twink, talk.
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Wait, does a tiktok or twink, talk?
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Because we're on both.
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Twink, twink, talk.
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You're on twink, talk.
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No, the show's on both.
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We got to do what we got to do, Fred.
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And all your favorite podcast platforms, and of course, add America's favorite podcast.com.
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And now it's still Fred.
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Hey, it's me, man.
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The guy that G's PT don't like, yeah, it's a really, yeah, it hates me.
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Why is it him?
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It don't ever save, it don't ever save my stuff.
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Like, you don't, you gotta do the price, say, I ain't doing it.
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I ain't getting the money out of me.
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It's worth it to make the robot your bitch.
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Man, I'm mad, out of mine.
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And, as always, hello, hot TV.
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Oh, what are you doing?
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Hooray for Alan.
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Alan's OTV, ladies and gentlemen.
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Call you all like Bruce Buffer.
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Hey, that's pretty good, Fred.
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Let's get ready to funny.
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Let's get ready to try.
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Let's get ready for disappointment.
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I can't remember the name of the guy in UFC, man, but he's gonna have a heart attack.
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Oh, that's Bruce.
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Yeah, that's his son, right?
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That's brother, man.
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That's brother, man.
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I don't know how to have a heart attack.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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That's part of it.
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Yeah, he gets the guy.
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Oh, yeah, he's one of those ass.
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Good for him.
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You know, the world needs more people screen at the top of their lungs and getting paid for it.
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But no reason.
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And that's why we're here, Fred.
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You have the people that the guy, what's the original guy's name?
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Michael Buffer.
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Michael Buffer.
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He was in the Zohan in his girlfriend's room.
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Yeah, dude, everyone loves the Zohan.
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He's like, no.
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We all love the Zohan, friend.
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The Zahan.
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And speaking of things, sound like Zohan.
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Yeah, it sounds like it.
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You want to tell us something about two-pot?
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Yes.
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Very close to Zohan.
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It's been 30 years.
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30 long years since the world lost one.
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And we finally got some justice in the case of two-pot MacAvelli's Shakur.
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Was his real name MacAvelli?
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No, no, no.
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Okay.
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I remember the album, yeah.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Matter of fact, we're coming up on the anniversaries.
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30 years today, almost.
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This is what this will come out on what?
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The seventh?
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The, yeah, so much.
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Yeah, the seventh is going to come out on the seventh.
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And that is going to be a day.
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30 years to the day.
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That's why we're so.
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They arrested their resident, Charles Mann named the Wayne.
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Keith D Davis.
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Keith D.
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Keith D.
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Yeah, I think he keeps Keith, like, you know, the K E F.
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Yeah, K E.
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I. K E F A.
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He was Keith Davis.
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Keith Davis.
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Keith Davis.
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Yeah, it was.
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My name is the Wayne.
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What's the fault?
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Davis.
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They call me Keith.
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They call me Keith the Queen.
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But yes, he was arrested and charged and went to trial.
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And just here the other week on the 31st of August.
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Yeah, he was just restricted.
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Yeah, he was convicted.
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Okay, so how do they catch him?
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How do they catch him?
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Because like he obviously got away with it for.
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He told all of them.
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Oh, well, he played himself.
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It for the last like 20 years he's been doing like YouTube interviews.
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He wrote a book.
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He wrote a book saying, like, I'm just talking about how he did it.
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I guess he thought he was low j.
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Yeah, he's.
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Can't you not incriminate yourself?
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No, dude, you can incriminate yourself.
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Yeah, yeah, you can both definitely incriminate yourself.
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But can't you like.
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I mean, that's doing the thing is incriminating you.
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Because he can admit to it, but unless he's under oath or.
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And that was his whole defense.
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Was that he was just making up stories?
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Yeah, why was you in the contract?
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Yeah, because he was the only thing.
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He was saying they were paying me to tell these stories.
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So I did it.
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Man, you know that's some bullshit.
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Yeah, actually, he wasn't the guy who actually killed two pop.
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Right.
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He was in the car the night and he handed the he said he handed the gun to Orlando baby.
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Baby Lane Anderson.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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A.
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But Johnny.
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Baby.
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Baby Lane.
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Watch out.
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Watch out for her baby Lane.
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But in.
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Uh, Mr. Mr. Mr. Anderson, he was killed.
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Uh, back in the late 90s.
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So.
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Okay.
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Probably his recommendation for his business that he did.
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Right.
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One thing I can tell you is if you're experiencing a baby lane.
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That's a lot of and there's a general award you're going to see a lot of speed bumps.
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So, you know, the baby lane.
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All the baby lane.
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Speed bumps on the baby.
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Baby lane of life, buddy.
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That was four people in the car.
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When two pop was killed in the car that where the shots came from.
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Uh, Mr.
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Pussy fort Davis.
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What's for Orlando Jones Orlando Anderson baby Lane.
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Dr. Dre.
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Smith.
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Smith.
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Smith.
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Oh, okay.
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And Terrence T-Brown Brown.
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Wow.
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T-Brown Brown.
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T-Brown Brown.
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Terrence T-Brown Brown.
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There's an 80s and 90s.
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I don't know.
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I don't like T-Brown.
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And outside of a.
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Pussy fort.
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All the other three people are dead.
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Oh, okay.
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So basically they just got him because he was the only one still.
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He's the only one still alive.
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Well, then he went out and talked about it.
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Yeah.
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He went out and talked about it.
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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And outside of a.
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Pussy fort.
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All the other three people are dead.
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Oh, okay.
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He went out and talked about it.
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He can't do that.
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No, I'm not sure.
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What do you know?
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No, what's his name?
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He got 30 years.
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I mean, he got life.
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He got life.
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He got life.
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Yeah, he got life.
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Yeah, he gave him life.
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I'm pretty.
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I don't think he's been sentenced yet.
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But as of this recording.
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As of this recording, he has not been sentenced yet.
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But he'll probably be sentenced in the upcoming weeks.
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But I'm pretty sure it'd be pretty.
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Pretty much be.
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I'm pretty much be like.
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I'm the life of prison man.
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Life is point to you know, like what are you going to do?
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Yeah, yeah.
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So I like ahead.
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Like he's got to be what?
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60 something.
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I don't even know how old the two-bucket Ben if he was still alive.
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Thank pop.
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What a bin.
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He died at 25 and 96.
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That's so easy.
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Yeah, 30 years.
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So he'd be 55.
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Okay.
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So yeah, 30 more years.
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That's probably.
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Yeah.
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Well, there you go.
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Fred.
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Well, do you feel.
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Do you feel do you have?
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I'm older than me.
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On the behalf of the B in the BLC community.
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Do you feel vindicated at this point?
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You know, you agree two pop was taken too early.
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Oh, yeah.
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Wait for it.
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I mean, he's just still.
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He's just still probably be out there doing that.
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If not, if not, rapin.
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I wouldn't want to see him rapin at 55.
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No, maybe doing it.
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Yeah, just doing the whole stuff.
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Maybe be like doing it for fun.
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Not for cause I have to.
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And I don't want him seeing it like,
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he's snoozing himself out for.
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You know, you're.
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You know.
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I seriously.
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Yeah, I'm like proactive.
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Yeah, some shit like that.
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This young.
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It's from a gizzet.
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Yeah.
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I'm like, oh, this is your.
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Love you.
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Give it.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, this is the Alan's commercial.
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I don't need.
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But you do.
265
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:11,000
Maybe though you snooved, Dr. Replay is Hayden, Pancatiere.
266
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,000
No, no, no, no.
267
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,000
Collective face cream.
268
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,000
Hey, they had a cheerleader, baby.
269
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,000
They're like, hey, you know what?
270
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,000
My face is perfectly, Clizzy.
271
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,000
Yeah.
272
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:24,000
So anyway, well, I'm glad that even though unfortunately,
273
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:28,000
over, but it sounds like justice has been served.
274
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,000
To the best of its ability at this time.
275
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:36,000
And then, you know, his, uh, I don't know how deep I know the
276
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000
do's like he was a gamebag.
277
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000
Or so, I don't know.
278
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:43,000
You know, he probably old G or something, but like, he's
279
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000
still got to go jail.
280
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000
Yeah.
281
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,000
Somebody's going to be mad about.
282
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000
Yeah, it's been 30 years.
283
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000
Wow.
284
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:54,000
I mean, 30 year vendetta against somebody is going to be mad.
285
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,000
Because there's been, you know, there's some two-block fans in jail.
286
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,000
Right.
287
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,000
Yeah.
288
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000
You were like you took the project.
289
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,000
Yeah.
290
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,000
Like, baby.
291
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,000
I mean, yeah, exactly.
292
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:06,000
Well, that's like you see that shirk night was the one who ordered it?
293
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,000
Well, sure was in the car.
294
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:16,000
Yeah, but no, he was, uh, no, they saying it because what happened was
295
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:21,000
there was the bite Tyson fight that night in Las Vegas.
296
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,000
And two parts, somebody is in two parts.
297
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:31,000
And two parts, I was right, got into it with a baby lane.
298
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,000
And they got into a fight.
299
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:38,000
They stoned them out of the MGM and then, you know, later he had to get revenge.
300
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:42,000
Yeah, he was, that was revenge for like, uh, the MGM shit.
301
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:46,000
So like, I don't know, too, I shook, shook, I think J.O.
302
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,000
He's still in jail.
303
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:53,000
Yeah, but the mic right here is, why would, if you're going to go off to two-park,
304
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:57,000
you're not going to try to go after two-park with shirk night.
305
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,000
And it's a reputation that shirk night has.
306
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,000
Hey, if they were by themselves, you know what I mean?
307
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000
Stupid people, stupid things.
308
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,000
Yeah, old time, Ellen.
309
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:10,000
Well, no, you think if they gang life, man, people don't have to kill.
310
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,000
You, you, you want to kill shirk night?
311
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,000
Yeah.
312
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,000
Oh, you don't know.
313
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:22,000
I think you got, I think you got to say, maybe he grabbed two-park and was like,
314
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:26,000
yeah, I was like, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's, that's what I mean.
315
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:30,000
Yeah, I mean, he grabbed him by the soles like, ah, he was like two-park, shirk.
316
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:35,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
317
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:40,000
But, I'm, I guess, glad that justice ended up being served.
318
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:45,000
But, Fred, let me tell you, well, revenge is best served cold.
319
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,000
And that's, and that's what I would like.
320
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:52,000
Justice is justice is justice is just a few answers.
321
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000
You want to serve a nice side of mashed potatoes.
322
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
Yeah, nice piece of kale.
323
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000
That's right.
324
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,000
Yes.
325
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000
So, well, kale salad would just offset this justice.
326
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,000
So, the bitterness of it.
327
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000
Oh, give me turn of greens, please.
328
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,000
For my justice.
329
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000
Even that savory justice.
330
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000
Yeah, I need, I need to side.
331
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000
Oh, what a big sweet spicy justice.
332
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000
Can we do it?
333
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:16,000
Yeah, can we do like a shift to take them so, come, savory justice.
334
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,000
Yeah, he's, let's run the alcohol put that on our list.
335
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,000
Every justice.
336
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:24,000
At the end of the court, because it's over and over.
337
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,000
He's been always cold.
338
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:31,000
Yeah, because he would have like, that would be a thing.
339
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,000
He'd be like, he'd find the murder and he'd be like, he's real salty.
340
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:38,000
Yeah, he would always be like a, like a savory related.
341
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000
Don't grind the represent.
342
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,000
This guy is a bit salty.
343
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,000
Yeah, you can tell they're like, he's like, you see this?
344
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:50,000
They like, they're in the apartment and he's like talking to his new rookie detectives.
345
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000
And he's like, listen, her spurger.
346
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,000
Look here, right here.
347
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:57,000
And they're like, yeah, he's like, this is where he was assaulted.
348
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000
Uh, it's all.
349
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,000
And he's like, oh, no.
350
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,000
And he's like savory detectives.
351
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,000
Yeah, savory detectives.
352
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,000
Yeah, savory justice.
353
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,000
I'm John savory.
354
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,000
Yeah.
355
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,000
And I've been working with me a long time.
356
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,000
I'm a scissor.
357
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,000
I'm a scissor.
358
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,000
I run a ghost kitchen.
359
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:24,000
I'm a detective by day runner of ghost kitchen for Mr. Beast by night.
360
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000
It doesn't carry good.
361
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
It just carries knives.
362
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000
He got a spatula like I do.
363
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,000
He bought blackstone.
364
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:37,000
And he like, it's the, if somebody shoots at him, he hits it back at him with his spatula.
365
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000
We got to run it too.
366
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,000
We had.
367
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,000
Exactly.
368
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,000
When he kills you, he does that guy with the salt.
369
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:47,000
He goes like, yeah, he's salt based him.
370
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000
He's salt based.
371
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,000
That's right.
372
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,000
He brings a crack on it.
373
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000
Always a little crack.
374
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,000
Oh, funny.
375
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,000
He's like, and just a sprinkler crack.
376
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,000
Yeah.
377
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,000
It's my signature move.
378
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,000
We're just.
379
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,000
There you go.
380
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,000
A friend speaking of justice.
381
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,000
I wish we could get.
382
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000
John.
383
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000
John.
384
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000
Oh, no.
385
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,220
♪ I got Saverie ♪
386
00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:13,420
♪ Done Saverie of Saverie Justice on the show ♪
387
00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:14,780
♪ But we can't, Fred ♪
388
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,540
♪ We can't do that ♪
389
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:19,360
♪ So what we can do though is I can tell you, Fred ♪
390
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:22,940
♪ The justice will not be served for me ♪
391
00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:27,980
♪ Because I was literally robbed, you were robbed? ♪
392
00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:30,260
- You got robbed, Rob.
393
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:34,160
- I got, well, I got, I got broke, she might shit stole.
394
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,800
- So you did? - I didn't come in my house.
395
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,540
- You got burgled.
396
00:15:37,540 --> 00:15:41,020
- Yes, I was burgled up and down all over the place.
397
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:42,280
I would say robbed.
398
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,580
- What's the difference?
399
00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:45,820
- You get robbed.
400
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,660
- Rob is when someone's like present there
401
00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:49,140
and they're like, "Give me your shit."
402
00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:50,460
- Shit, that's, yeah.
403
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:52,380
- Okay, so that's robbed then.
404
00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:54,980
- They break into your house, you've been burgled.
405
00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:56,980
- Okay, what if they break into your car
406
00:15:56,980 --> 00:16:02,700
and steal the most random, possible things?
407
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,420
They put in a smug of things to steal.
408
00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:05,820
Oh my God, I'm so mad.
409
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:10,660
I guarantee you, it's so funny that you brought this up
410
00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:13,220
'cause I don't even, I guess that's your limitations
411
00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:16,140
or like, - No, no.
412
00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:17,460
- You would do it.
413
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:18,740
- It led you to me.
414
00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:19,940
(laughing)
415
00:16:19,940 --> 00:16:24,940
- When I was 16, that was like, I was thinking to,
416
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:28,100
like, yeah, breaking in the cars and stuff.
417
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,580
- I was so stupid.
418
00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:32,460
- Were you breaking in or were you just pulling handles?
419
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:35,940
- Pulling handles mostly.
420
00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:36,780
- Right.
421
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:37,620
- Yeah.
422
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:38,940
- Yeah, mostly pulling handles are.
423
00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:40,820
- Yeah, mostly just pulling handles.
424
00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:41,820
And like--
425
00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:43,300
- Different time though, too.
426
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:47,620
- The thing that the most sought after out of,
427
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:50,220
product was like tapes.
428
00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:51,060
- Yeah, yeah.
429
00:16:51,060 --> 00:16:52,220
- I'm saying tapes.
430
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,540
- Okay, so knowing that tapes were your number one thing
431
00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:56,300
you're looking for,
432
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:59,060
proves that the statute of limitations has expired.
433
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,700
(laughing)
434
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:03,780
- What do you see these tapes?
435
00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:04,780
- No, yeah, I'd better say it.
436
00:17:04,780 --> 00:17:05,780
If you had been like, CDs,
437
00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:07,820
I'd be like, okay, well, yeah, all right.
438
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:11,700
- So you, I let you just say it, but he's mixed tape.
439
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,020
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
440
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:13,860
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
441
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,180
- No, it was always like,
442
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:17,660
Kenny Loggins and shit.
443
00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:19,340
- Yeah, I always get white tapes.
444
00:17:19,340 --> 00:17:20,980
- He's in Carpenter and shit, yeah.
445
00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:22,140
- Yeah, he's in Carpenter, right?
446
00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:24,220
- Yeah, he's in Roads, yeah, yeah.
447
00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:26,580
- Guzzly Roses, white cash.
448
00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:27,740
- Yeah, yeah, me.
449
00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:28,580
- Who was that guy?
450
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:29,660
Conway Twitty?
451
00:17:29,660 --> 00:17:32,180
They made so many tapes of Conway Twitty.
452
00:17:32,180 --> 00:17:34,580
- No wonder you knew all the songs.
453
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:37,140
- Yeah, friends like, I got it, I got it, let's do it.
454
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,580
- First time I ever was arrested,
455
00:17:38,580 --> 00:17:40,900
that's what it was for, bragging in cars.
456
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:41,740
- Yeah.
457
00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:43,180
- Bragging in fun cars.
458
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:45,460
- Well, Fred, I, like I said,
459
00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:47,100
I got my shit broken into.
460
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,620
- You got some shit broken into.
461
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:49,420
- And my car,
462
00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:50,620
Keith ladies and gentlemen,
463
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:53,540
I live a baller lifestyle.
464
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:58,500
So, in order to combat that,
465
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:01,620
the amount of ballerism that I have inside of me,
466
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:06,620
I drive a very humble 2013 Nissan Versa.
467
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:11,460
That is a stick shift that has no power windows
468
00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:12,780
and no power locks.
469
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:14,740
- Yeah, no basic.
470
00:18:14,740 --> 00:18:16,740
- I have, I have the one, I don't even think,
471
00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:18,980
I don't think originally it came with rearview mirrors.
472
00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:19,820
- Yeah.
473
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,780
- I think I had to install those himself.
474
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:23,260
- I've got AM radio.
475
00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:25,140
- Yeah, it's got a good one thing.
476
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:26,460
- One thing, yeah.
477
00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:28,180
- But you can only listen to odd stations,
478
00:18:28,180 --> 00:18:30,620
or even stations, the radio's odd, they're like,
479
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:32,260
yeah, I don't know if those companies
480
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:34,060
from that have on, come on.
481
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:35,460
- I think it's a problem.
482
00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:37,460
(laughing)
483
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:39,540
- Yeah, that's for sure.
484
00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:40,940
That's like, this is sponsored by something
485
00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:43,140
you've never heard of in Jesus.
486
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:47,140
So, no, so like, you know, my car is humble vehicle.
487
00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:49,260
It's not one, and there's a reason,
488
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:50,460
because again, I'm like,
489
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,220
- Jesus would drive your car.
490
00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:55,900
- Jesus would be like, can we get power windows?
491
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,060
(laughing)
492
00:18:57,060 --> 00:18:58,060
- Yeah, come on, man.
493
00:18:58,060 --> 00:18:59,060
- Yeah, like, come on.
494
00:18:59,060 --> 00:19:00,540
- You got the wheel.
495
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,340
- Yeah, no, it's got heat, it's got heat sometimes.
496
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:04,740
- Jesus would give him some money
497
00:19:04,740 --> 00:19:06,740
so he could upgrade it.
498
00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:08,180
- But it's a stick shift.
499
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:09,020
- No, it's just like that.
500
00:19:09,020 --> 00:19:10,060
- It's just like an old school car.
501
00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:12,060
- I can't be see right or right.
502
00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:13,060
- Right, Jesus is like, no,
503
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:15,700
they're not gonna believe that I've been sitting back
504
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:16,700
in this car.
505
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:23,420
- You were. - They're gonna think, they're gonna definitely think I'm an immigrant, if I'm in this vehicle.
506
00:19:23,420 --> 00:19:25,820
So, and it's a small car, and I'm a big guy.
507
00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:26,820
- Yeah.
508
00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:30,980
- But, so yeah, so we go out, I go out Monday morning,
509
00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:37,020
and like, take the kids to school, do my business, and I get a call from one of the kids schools,
510
00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:39,660
and they're like, hey, there's an issue, you gotta come back.
511
00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:43,580
So, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go back to school real quick, I'll leave work, go back to the school.
512
00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:47,340
On the way back to the school, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna listen to some music.
513
00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:53,380
So, I go to put my Bluetooth on, and I reach for it, and there's nothing there.
514
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:56,500
And like, I have like, because again, not a great car.
515
00:19:56,500 --> 00:20:00,020
I have like, of the plug, the auxiliary plug, with the receiver.
516
00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:01,700
And I was like, well, shit.
517
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:06,340
And then I was like, well, let me, like, at least I have my headphones here.
518
00:20:06,340 --> 00:20:08,540
And I looked down at my headphones, aren't there?
519
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,380
And I was like, what the fuck is happening?
520
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:14,300
And then I'm like, well, my, my phone charger is not there either.
521
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:19,980
This motherfucker, this motherfucker, stole things.
522
00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:21,820
- Yeah, that's you need.
523
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:25,860
- That I, yeah, that I was like, no, this is not okay.
524
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:28,260
- It's like, bringing it in your house is just still a toilet paper.
525
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,260
- Just feeling, yeah, just feeling like forks.
526
00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:31,820
- Ah, your forks.
527
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:33,220
- Right, like, always overwearing.
528
00:20:33,220 --> 00:20:35,100
I'm like, what the fuck is happening?
529
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:39,300
So, I was like, wait, I can't, I can't call anybody.
530
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:40,840
- Tell them about this.
531
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,380
I can't listen to the right, I, oh my god.
532
00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:44,620
I can't even charge my phone.
533
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:46,380
I had a great phone charger.
534
00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:47,740
It was really nice.
535
00:20:47,740 --> 00:20:48,740
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
536
00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:50,940
- It's a fast charger, oh, it's gorgeous.
537
00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:52,700
Gone, gone to the wind.
538
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:57,180
And my, unfortunately my headphones were like 200 bucks, but I didn't use them very much.
539
00:20:57,180 --> 00:20:58,180
I'm not that mad.
540
00:20:58,180 --> 00:20:59,700
I mean, it sucks.
541
00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,300
- You guys think they're going to the house.
542
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:02,300
- What are you gonna do?
543
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,300
- Yeah, it was my own fault for that.
544
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:07,060
But, he also took like 20 bucks in loose cash I had like in the glove compartment, which
545
00:21:07,060 --> 00:21:08,460
is not a big deal.
546
00:21:08,460 --> 00:21:10,500
But, this is where I drew the line.
547
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,340
And this is what made me mad, Fred.
548
00:21:12,340 --> 00:21:14,340
Maddest of all.
549
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:16,220
- My candy bar has a different arrangement.
550
00:21:16,220 --> 00:21:17,220
- Right.
551
00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:22,540
No, so in the driver's side door, like you know, you have the little like coin holder in
552
00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:24,740
the door area or whatever, not coin holder.
553
00:21:24,740 --> 00:21:28,260
What you just was, how you carried the whole thing back and forth, right?
554
00:21:28,260 --> 00:21:34,620
I have had a quarter in there for years because I go to Aldi.
555
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:35,620
And that's the corner.
556
00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:36,620
- Aldi's the corner?
557
00:21:36,620 --> 00:21:37,620
- That's my Aldi quarter, yeah.
558
00:21:37,620 --> 00:21:41,500
And I'm like, that's, it lives there.
559
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:45,420
It only comes out on Sundays and then goes right back.
560
00:21:45,420 --> 00:21:49,900
And like, so I get in the car and I'm like, after looking at like assessing everything,
561
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:55,900
I'm like, the motherfucker took my Aldi quarter too, like, why?
562
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:57,140
Why did he do that, Fred?
563
00:21:57,140 --> 00:21:58,540
Why, I feel so victimized.
564
00:21:58,540 --> 00:22:00,780
- You're getting malleucy.
565
00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:05,260
- But then I thought, yeah, well, I don't think it's going to work since of them now.
566
00:22:05,260 --> 00:22:09,740
But I was like, damn, man, and then I was like, should I get all the pawn shops, look on
567
00:22:09,740 --> 00:22:13,980
Facebook, view all the stuff, like, for these headphones and stuff.
568
00:22:13,980 --> 00:22:17,580
And then I was like, I don't really feel like it.
569
00:22:17,580 --> 00:22:19,340
Like, shit happens.
570
00:22:19,340 --> 00:22:20,660
- So I was into the game.
571
00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:22,980
- Yeah, sometimes you got to try, it could have been worse.
572
00:22:22,980 --> 00:22:26,180
- That's that, that's, I mean, you're living closer to downtown, man.
573
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:27,900
- Yeah, that was random though.
574
00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:32,500
- That's the crime, yeah, I mean, if you think this is, I don't think there's crime here
575
00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:33,500
where I live.
576
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:34,500
- Yeah.
577
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,500
- I don't think there's crime where I live.
578
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:40,820
- I don't think there's crime where I live, but it's it, it's it.
579
00:22:40,820 --> 00:22:44,740
- It did take my head, my fucking ear buds, man, it's very sad.
580
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:45,740
- I got no crime.
581
00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:47,220
- After you helped a homeless guy too.
582
00:22:47,220 --> 00:22:48,740
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
583
00:22:48,740 --> 00:22:51,900
- It was probably him, yeah, I would make a lot of sense.
584
00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:53,260
- He smoked that quarter.
585
00:22:53,260 --> 00:22:54,940
- Yeah, he was like, oh, I remember that guy.
586
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:57,780
He's like, I've seen that car before.
587
00:22:57,780 --> 00:23:01,500
That guy lives a baller lifestyle, obviously.
588
00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:05,660
He bought me a public sandwich and a tea once.
589
00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:07,820
- Time to make sure.
590
00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:08,820
- What a baller.
591
00:23:08,820 --> 00:23:10,140
- It's a very different to favor.
592
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:12,260
- Okay, whatever you say, Mr. CEO.
593
00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:14,860
- No, no good deed.
594
00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:18,620
- The guy's talking himself into it because that's the thing, like, he had to go in and be like,
595
00:23:18,620 --> 00:23:20,340
all right, what can I get?
596
00:23:20,340 --> 00:23:21,340
- Yeah.
597
00:23:21,340 --> 00:23:26,780
- And like, he looked around and he's like, I guess his car charger, like, I don't know,
598
00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:29,220
like, I get what's in it.
599
00:23:29,220 --> 00:23:30,620
- There's a quarter.
600
00:23:30,620 --> 00:23:38,220
- But they did that here when I worked at a different company and I had a Surface Pro.
601
00:23:38,220 --> 00:23:39,220
- Right.
602
00:23:39,220 --> 00:23:42,500
- And they came in and they opened up.
603
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:47,660
They had the Surface Pro where the hand is, they picked it up, put it in the front seat,
604
00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:51,060
opened up, the thing took my change.
605
00:23:51,060 --> 00:23:52,060
Napkins.
606
00:23:52,060 --> 00:23:53,060
- Yeah.
607
00:23:53,060 --> 00:23:54,060
- Left.
608
00:23:54,060 --> 00:23:55,060
(laughs)
609
00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:56,860
- There you go.
610
00:23:56,860 --> 00:24:02,060
- Remember Alan back in the day when our buddy Draper's car got stolen and we went to a
611
00:24:02,060 --> 00:24:03,300
Atlanta Braves game.
612
00:24:03,300 --> 00:24:04,300
- It came back.
613
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:07,740
- Yeah, we, he's so, dude, we go to a Braves game and then we may have told the story of
614
00:24:07,740 --> 00:24:08,740
the show before.
615
00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:16,140
But our buddy Draper has like a fiber, or one window of his is like plastic because it's
616
00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:17,140
broken.
617
00:24:17,140 --> 00:24:18,700
His car is a piece of shit.
618
00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:22,900
We ride it, we get it to Atlanta, what you know, like an hour and a half, two hours away.
619
00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:24,860
We get it to the Braves game.
620
00:24:24,860 --> 00:24:30,380
He decides he shouldn't put, he's like, oh, should I carry my bag of weed in with me to
621
00:24:30,380 --> 00:24:31,380
the Braves game.
622
00:24:31,380 --> 00:24:32,380
(laughs)
623
00:24:32,380 --> 00:24:36,540
And we're like, no, you shouldn't do that.
624
00:24:36,540 --> 00:24:40,700
And so he put it back in the car and then he's like, oh, and then we think he dropped his
625
00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:44,060
keys right beside his car because he's really stoned and we haven't been driving for a
626
00:24:44,060 --> 00:24:45,380
long time.
627
00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:50,180
And we get back, we like got the Prepper, we got the parking right by the stadium.
628
00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:52,300
- I think he left them in the ignition.
629
00:24:52,300 --> 00:24:55,260
I know, he had to get he dropped them right outside the door.
630
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:59,060
And I remember thinking like, he just dropped something and now I'm like, yeah, totally.
631
00:24:59,060 --> 00:25:04,060
He was like, oh, my shorts, all the pockets and my shorts have holes in it.
632
00:25:04,060 --> 00:25:06,140
- He had those frowns, yeah, those pants shorts.
633
00:25:06,140 --> 00:25:09,060
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, on Cena's shorts.
634
00:25:09,060 --> 00:25:11,820
- Before those were important and things.
635
00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:15,980
And so we come back out, this, we go to the Braves game and it's like 7 30 at night when
636
00:25:15,980 --> 00:25:16,980
we get there.
637
00:25:16,980 --> 00:25:20,940
This one starts, we get out at like 10, you know, 9, 9, 45, 10, whatever.
638
00:25:20,940 --> 00:25:24,900
We come out to the car and we're like, where's the car?
639
00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:27,020
Holy shit, the car is gone.
640
00:25:27,020 --> 00:25:28,700
- That is, no.
641
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:29,700
- Yeah.
642
00:25:29,700 --> 00:25:31,020
And again, he had a shitty car too.
643
00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:32,700
His car was in here in the mind.
644
00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:33,700
- No.
645
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:34,700
- But.
646
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:38,780
- So damn man, like, I've been mad at everybody.
647
00:25:38,780 --> 00:25:40,380
- Yeah, I've been mad at you.
648
00:25:40,380 --> 00:25:43,660
- Yeah, well, we had no money.
649
00:25:43,660 --> 00:25:45,900
We had like little to no money.
650
00:25:45,900 --> 00:25:48,380
We had no way to get back to Greenville.
651
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,580
We had no room money for a hotel.
652
00:25:50,580 --> 00:25:55,540
We ended up calling Alan's brother and where like, dude, can you come get us?
653
00:25:55,540 --> 00:26:00,020
And he's like, yeah, and like, they're like 11 30 at night and drove us back home.
654
00:26:00,020 --> 00:26:05,540
Well then like two weeks later, we, Draper gets a call from Atlanta PD and they're like,
655
00:26:05,540 --> 00:26:06,540
hey, we got your car.
656
00:26:06,540 --> 00:26:09,660
You got to come get it by like this weekend.
657
00:26:09,660 --> 00:26:13,220
And so I'm like, okay, we got to go get your car showed back up.
658
00:26:13,220 --> 00:26:15,060
We got to go get it.
659
00:26:15,060 --> 00:26:18,300
So we like go back down and we go back to get it.
660
00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:20,300
And it landed.
661
00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:22,660
- The early, my getting a boy, it's the day.
662
00:26:22,660 --> 00:26:27,260
- No, like, surprisingly, it had more gas in it than when we left it.
663
00:26:27,260 --> 00:26:29,860
There was a full bag of funnions in the back seat.
664
00:26:29,860 --> 00:26:30,860
- Yeah.
665
00:26:30,860 --> 00:26:33,460
- And his, he had like, what do you call those?
666
00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:34,620
A no-seam or whatever?
667
00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:39,820
Like, the kind of like the weep I that you would put, it looked like a cigarette lighter back in the day.
668
00:26:39,820 --> 00:26:40,820
- A cigarette lighter?
669
00:26:40,820 --> 00:26:44,980
- You know, I'm talking about the ones that like you could put, it was like a pipe.
670
00:26:44,980 --> 00:26:48,340
Just like a straight pipe, but you could put it in, it looked like a cigarette lighter.
671
00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:50,700
Like the kind of, because in a car.
672
00:26:50,700 --> 00:26:52,260
- Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
673
00:26:52,260 --> 00:26:54,060
You know, I'm talking about, yeah, yeah, yeah.
674
00:26:54,060 --> 00:26:57,900
- Yeah, one of those and he had put it in the cigarette lighter because he was like, oh, it's perfect.
675
00:26:57,900 --> 00:27:02,020
He looks, you know, smells like weep, but it looks like a cigarette lighter.
676
00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:03,820
Don't never figure it out.
677
00:27:03,820 --> 00:27:07,500
And that was still in there and it was still packed.
678
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:11,620
So he was like, oh, this was pretty good.
679
00:27:11,620 --> 00:27:12,620
- I knew what that was.
680
00:27:12,620 --> 00:27:14,300
- Pretty good, too.
681
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:17,460
- Yeah, dude, I was like, we just drove to Atlanta for this.
682
00:27:17,460 --> 00:27:19,300
- But, yeah, no, it was crazy.
683
00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:21,340
So, yeah, be a Robsox, man.
684
00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:22,340
- Yeah.
685
00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:23,340
- Yeah.
686
00:27:23,340 --> 00:27:24,340
- You know?
687
00:27:24,340 --> 00:27:25,340
- You've been robbed a couple times.
688
00:27:25,340 --> 00:27:27,340
- Yeah, that was, I've been tapping before.
689
00:27:27,340 --> 00:27:28,340
- I've been robbed.
690
00:27:28,340 --> 00:27:29,340
- I've been robbed.
691
00:27:29,340 --> 00:27:30,340
I've been robbed.
692
00:27:30,340 --> 00:27:32,140
I've been robbed three, four times.
693
00:27:32,140 --> 00:27:33,140
- Yeah.
694
00:27:33,140 --> 00:27:35,740
- I've been, yeah, it's not fun, man.
695
00:27:35,740 --> 00:27:37,540
- Did you just feel so sad?
696
00:27:37,540 --> 00:27:41,380
Like it's just like a feeling of just like, I'm not safe.
697
00:27:41,380 --> 00:27:42,380
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
698
00:27:42,380 --> 00:27:45,660
- Like not like, not like, oh my god, I'm gonna die or anything.
699
00:27:45,660 --> 00:27:47,380
Not like, uh, I don't give a shit.
700
00:27:47,380 --> 00:27:50,300
I'll give it to them before I die.
701
00:27:50,300 --> 00:27:51,300
- Yeah.
702
00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:54,820
- I've been like, my life, I've like, gun in the face, bullshit.
703
00:27:54,820 --> 00:27:55,820
- Yeah.
704
00:27:55,820 --> 00:27:59,140
- And then he's mugging me and then he's like, you're looking at my girl?
705
00:27:59,140 --> 00:28:01,940
And I'm like, you're mugging me.
706
00:28:01,940 --> 00:28:05,220
You're taking my shit, why would I look at your girl?
707
00:28:05,220 --> 00:28:08,380
- I'm like, well, you know, I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do.
708
00:28:08,380 --> 00:28:10,940
I'm like, I'm trying to associate myself with the situations.
709
00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:12,940
- This is what kind of me and you like?
710
00:28:12,940 --> 00:28:14,940
- Yeah, you signed on for this?
711
00:28:14,940 --> 00:28:15,940
- Look at it.
712
00:28:15,940 --> 00:28:16,940
- And then I'm like,
713
00:28:16,940 --> 00:28:17,940
- Yeah, I shot him in the face.
714
00:28:17,940 --> 00:28:19,860
- My brother must be so proud of you.
715
00:28:19,860 --> 00:28:20,860
- One time.
716
00:28:20,860 --> 00:28:23,100
- Now, couple's door dash back in.
717
00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:25,260
- Allegedly, I shot him in the leg when he turned around.
718
00:28:25,260 --> 00:28:26,100
- There you go.
719
00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:27,500
(laughing)
720
00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:28,940
- It's allegedly a great time.
721
00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:29,940
- Okay.
722
00:28:29,940 --> 00:28:31,140
- And I ran like a bitch.
723
00:28:31,140 --> 00:28:31,980
- Yeah.
724
00:28:31,980 --> 00:28:32,820
- Yeah.
725
00:28:32,820 --> 00:28:33,660
- Yeah.
726
00:28:33,660 --> 00:28:34,940
- He can't catch me.
727
00:28:34,940 --> 00:28:36,500
- No, you never know.
728
00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:40,020
- Actually, but his girlfriend was never my, yeah.
729
00:28:40,020 --> 00:28:42,820
- We ended up in the Weird Allen stories that's for the bonus show.
730
00:28:42,820 --> 00:28:44,420
- In the Teddy.
731
00:28:44,420 --> 00:28:45,780
- All right, ladies and gentlemen.
732
00:28:45,780 --> 00:28:47,780
- I was looking at his girl.
733
00:28:47,780 --> 00:28:49,460
(laughing)
734
00:28:49,460 --> 00:28:50,780
- I knew I was gonna get to that.
735
00:28:50,780 --> 00:28:51,780
- You gonna be the leg?
736
00:28:51,780 --> 00:28:52,780
I was looking at her, too.
737
00:28:52,780 --> 00:28:54,540
- 30 years later, Alan, you're gonna get,
738
00:28:54,540 --> 00:28:55,780
someone's gonna get revenge on you.
739
00:28:55,780 --> 00:28:58,580
Just like, just like, baby lane.
740
00:28:58,580 --> 00:29:00,380
- Baby lane.
741
00:29:00,380 --> 00:29:01,220
- Baby lane.
742
00:29:01,220 --> 00:29:02,940
- Baby lane and Dr. Dre Stevenson or whatever.
743
00:29:02,940 --> 00:29:04,820
- Yeah, it gets caught.
744
00:29:04,820 --> 00:29:05,660
- It gets caught.
745
00:29:05,660 --> 00:29:06,500
- It gets caught.
746
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:07,340
- It gets caught.
747
00:29:07,340 --> 00:29:08,460
(laughing)
748
00:29:08,460 --> 00:29:10,340
- How I get his name is like, like,
749
00:29:10,340 --> 00:29:12,820
the idea that there are a lot of Dr. Dre's.
750
00:29:12,820 --> 00:29:13,660
- Yeah.
751
00:29:13,660 --> 00:29:14,860
(laughing)
752
00:29:14,860 --> 00:29:16,060
- I got a football team, you know,
753
00:29:16,060 --> 00:29:17,500
when like, two people have the same last name,
754
00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:18,660
they get like an initial.
755
00:29:18,660 --> 00:29:19,580
- Yeah, yeah.
756
00:29:19,580 --> 00:29:21,060
- So I feel like it's like, this guy likes it.
757
00:29:21,060 --> 00:29:23,020
It's like, Dr. Dre Stevenson.
758
00:29:23,020 --> 00:29:24,540
Dr. Dre Rodriguez.
759
00:29:24,540 --> 00:29:26,940
They're like, you know, D-Drey Rodriguez.
760
00:29:26,940 --> 00:29:30,740
- The other guy was just Deandre Dre.
761
00:29:30,740 --> 00:29:31,580
- Oh, okay.
762
00:29:31,580 --> 00:29:33,020
- Yeah, I just put the doctor.
763
00:29:33,020 --> 00:29:34,260
- Dre is just short for Deandre.
764
00:29:34,260 --> 00:29:35,100
- Deandre.
765
00:29:35,100 --> 00:29:36,100
- Yeah, Deandre.
766
00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:36,940
- Or Andre.
767
00:29:36,940 --> 00:29:37,780
- Yeah.
768
00:29:37,780 --> 00:29:39,060
- Or Laundre.
769
00:29:39,060 --> 00:29:40,780
- Yeah, Laundre.
770
00:29:40,780 --> 00:29:41,620
- Stefandra.
771
00:29:41,620 --> 00:29:44,540
- What if I was Lefred?
772
00:29:44,540 --> 00:29:45,380
- Lefred Dre.
773
00:29:45,380 --> 00:29:46,380
- Lefred.
774
00:29:46,380 --> 00:29:47,220
- Lefred.
775
00:29:47,220 --> 00:29:48,060
- Fred Drake.
776
00:29:48,060 --> 00:29:48,900
- Can I--
777
00:29:48,900 --> 00:29:49,740
- Can I--
778
00:29:49,740 --> 00:29:50,740
- Reek.
779
00:29:50,740 --> 00:29:52,940
- Where we go to break, can I share a quick story?
780
00:29:52,940 --> 00:29:54,700
- Sure, of course.
781
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:58,180
- So, not that quick.
782
00:29:58,180 --> 00:29:59,540
- The U-Hits.
783
00:29:59,540 --> 00:30:01,660
(laughing)
784
00:30:01,660 --> 00:30:04,060
- Oh, shit, I gotta find it.
785
00:30:04,060 --> 00:30:04,900
I'm sorry.
786
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:05,740
- Uh-oh.
787
00:30:05,740 --> 00:30:06,580
- I got a clip.
788
00:30:06,580 --> 00:30:08,100
- Well, I'll tell a story then, Fred.
789
00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:09,420
And he can tell your story at the end.
790
00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:10,260
- No!
791
00:30:10,260 --> 00:30:11,100
- No!
792
00:30:11,100 --> 00:30:12,100
- Where is it?
793
00:30:12,100 --> 00:30:13,580
- Tiger on the cliff.
794
00:30:13,580 --> 00:30:14,420
- Yeah.
795
00:30:14,420 --> 00:30:16,980
- Yep, so there's a nun.
796
00:30:16,980 --> 00:30:17,820
- For a nun.
797
00:30:17,820 --> 00:30:19,220
(laughing)
798
00:30:19,220 --> 00:30:20,540
- And she's just hanging out,
799
00:30:20,540 --> 00:30:22,620
nutting around, nutting it up.
800
00:30:22,620 --> 00:30:23,660
- Nutting it up.
801
00:30:23,660 --> 00:30:25,300
- All over town.
802
00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:28,820
And then, she's in a field full of Dan Alliance.
803
00:30:28,820 --> 00:30:29,660
- Yep.
804
00:30:29,660 --> 00:30:32,460
- And all of a sudden, she looks behind her.
805
00:30:32,460 --> 00:30:33,660
And she's an Asian nun.
806
00:30:33,660 --> 00:30:36,860
And she looks behind her.
807
00:30:36,860 --> 00:30:40,060
And she says, "Oh my God, there's tigers right here."
808
00:30:40,060 --> 00:30:41,220
(laughing)
809
00:30:41,220 --> 00:30:42,300
And she runs.
810
00:30:42,300 --> 00:30:44,120
She runs from the tigers through the field
811
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:45,340
of Dan Alliance, Fred.
812
00:30:45,340 --> 00:30:48,780
Very, you know, as quickly as a nun can run.
813
00:30:48,780 --> 00:30:49,780
- All right.
814
00:30:49,780 --> 00:30:51,140
- And then at the end of the field,
815
00:30:51,140 --> 00:30:52,860
she doesn't realize there's a cliff.
816
00:30:52,860 --> 00:30:53,700
- Fred.
817
00:30:53,700 --> 00:30:54,700
- Yep.
818
00:30:54,700 --> 00:30:55,780
- And this nun,
819
00:30:55,780 --> 00:31:00,260
he takes the dive over the cliff.
820
00:31:00,260 --> 00:31:02,100
Fred, and she's holding on.
821
00:31:02,100 --> 00:31:03,860
She grabs hold on the way down
822
00:31:03,860 --> 00:31:08,100
and she's deciding like, "Oh my God, I don't know what to do."
823
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:10,020
She grabs hold of a stick.
824
00:31:10,020 --> 00:31:10,860
- Did you find it?
825
00:31:10,860 --> 00:31:13,220
- A root of a tree that's just sticking right out.
826
00:31:13,220 --> 00:31:14,060
- Oh no.
827
00:31:14,060 --> 00:31:17,460
- And she says, "Oh, I'm safe for a moment."
828
00:31:17,460 --> 00:31:19,100
- No. - Then she looks down, Fred.
829
00:31:19,100 --> 00:31:20,860
When she looks down, what does she see?
830
00:31:20,860 --> 00:31:21,700
- What is it?
831
00:31:21,700 --> 00:31:23,260
- More Asian tigers.
832
00:31:23,260 --> 00:31:26,540
Waiting at the bottom of the cliff.
833
00:31:26,540 --> 00:31:28,100
- Or delicious.
834
00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:28,940
- Is the tigers in the back?
835
00:31:28,940 --> 00:31:29,940
- The banger is all mine.
836
00:31:29,940 --> 00:31:30,780
- Right.
837
00:31:30,780 --> 00:31:32,700
And so, and above her,
838
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:34,460
oh, there's still more tigers.
839
00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:36,380
And the tigers are looking over the edge.
840
00:31:36,380 --> 00:31:38,300
Like, they're like, "Ahhh, we see you.
841
00:31:38,300 --> 00:31:40,180
You're not gonna get away from us, lady."
842
00:31:40,180 --> 00:31:42,740
- And then, they're what?
843
00:31:42,740 --> 00:31:43,740
- Asian tigers?
844
00:31:43,740 --> 00:31:45,340
- Yeah, for sure.
845
00:31:45,340 --> 00:31:47,140
Exactly.
846
00:31:47,140 --> 00:31:50,420
And then she looks to her left and there's nothing.
847
00:31:50,420 --> 00:31:52,700
And she looks to her right.
848
00:31:52,700 --> 00:31:57,500
- And there's one single strawberry growing in a wild vine
849
00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:00,060
coming out of the mountain, Fred.
850
00:32:00,060 --> 00:32:03,580
And she grabs that strawberry, she takes a bite.
851
00:32:03,580 --> 00:32:04,420
- And Fred?
852
00:32:04,420 --> 00:32:08,740
- That was the sweetest strawberry she ever had.
853
00:32:08,740 --> 00:32:10,100
- Awesome story, bro.
854
00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:15,100
- So the USS Abraham Lincoln, our namesake,
855
00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:20,220
is finally coming into court.
856
00:32:20,220 --> 00:32:21,140
- Finally.
857
00:32:21,140 --> 00:32:24,100
- After 200 days at sea.
858
00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:24,940
- Yeah.
859
00:32:24,940 --> 00:32:26,980
- Four score and seven years, let's see.
860
00:32:26,980 --> 00:32:30,820
- 200 days at sea and these men are finally
861
00:32:30,820 --> 00:32:33,260
getting off the boat.
862
00:32:33,260 --> 00:32:34,460
- Ten score.
863
00:32:34,460 --> 00:32:37,500
- Want to take a guess where they're docking it?
864
00:32:38,620 --> 00:32:40,420
- Is it Thailand?
865
00:32:40,420 --> 00:32:42,020
- Thailand, babe.
866
00:32:42,020 --> 00:32:42,860
- Yeah, baby.
867
00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:44,500
(laughing)
868
00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:46,620
- Hey, you got to make up for it somehow.
869
00:32:46,620 --> 00:32:51,100
- This is a, they said Thailand's prostitution patrol
870
00:32:51,100 --> 00:32:52,540
is our high alert.
871
00:32:52,540 --> 00:32:53,380
- Do you think?
872
00:32:53,380 --> 00:32:58,380
- 5000 US sailors drop anchor after 200 days at sea, bro.
873
00:32:58,380 --> 00:33:02,900
200 days at sea.
874
00:33:02,900 --> 00:33:03,740
- That's crazy.
875
00:33:03,740 --> 00:33:10,060
- This is, this is VD day.
876
00:33:10,060 --> 00:33:12,780
This is gonna be VD day.
877
00:33:12,780 --> 00:33:17,020
Everybody in a mama in Thailand is getting fucked.
878
00:33:17,020 --> 00:33:17,860
Like.
879
00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:19,740
- Yeah, but it's all what you can do.
880
00:33:19,740 --> 00:33:21,280
Like you said,
881
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,020
they boys, you're gonna have a great time.
882
00:33:23,020 --> 00:33:25,100
- They boys, they girls, they girls, boys,
883
00:33:25,100 --> 00:33:26,260
the boy boys.
884
00:33:26,260 --> 00:33:27,420
- And they ain't gonna know the difference.
885
00:33:27,420 --> 00:33:29,820
- They ain't gonna know the difference, man.
886
00:33:29,820 --> 00:33:31,060
- It's all good.
887
00:33:31,060 --> 00:33:33,020
- They gonna eat and they gonna fuck
888
00:33:33,020 --> 00:33:36,140
and they gonna drink and they gonna eat fucking drink again.
889
00:33:36,140 --> 00:33:36,980
- And then they're gonna be like,
890
00:33:36,980 --> 00:33:37,820
we don't wanna get all this boat in.
891
00:33:37,820 --> 00:33:41,980
- Yeah, I think it's six days, six days of port.
892
00:33:41,980 --> 00:33:44,580
- Then what, then they go back out?
893
00:33:44,580 --> 00:33:46,580
- Yeah, then they get back on the boat.
894
00:33:46,580 --> 00:33:47,580
- Well, I'm saying there's a boat,
895
00:33:47,580 --> 00:33:49,260
but there's a boat going back to--
896
00:33:49,260 --> 00:33:50,540
- Or they're going back.
897
00:33:50,540 --> 00:33:52,780
- Nah, they probably going back out to sea.
898
00:33:52,780 --> 00:33:55,660
They probably stopping to like,
899
00:33:55,660 --> 00:33:57,780
resupply and shit too, 'cause like,
900
00:33:57,780 --> 00:34:00,300
they were showing some of the food that those guys eat.
901
00:34:00,300 --> 00:34:02,220
- Yeah, they were, well, they had been out for so long.
902
00:34:02,220 --> 00:34:04,020
- Yeah, yeah, they didn't even do.
903
00:34:04,020 --> 00:34:05,900
- The ship got replaced.
904
00:34:05,900 --> 00:34:07,180
They brought another ship in.
905
00:34:07,180 --> 00:34:08,020
- Did it?
906
00:34:08,020 --> 00:34:11,900
I mean, Abraham Lincoln wanted the biggest, you know,
907
00:34:11,900 --> 00:34:12,900
battle carriers.
908
00:34:12,900 --> 00:34:14,940
- Biggest fans of the Blacklingin' Glick to podcast.
909
00:34:14,940 --> 00:34:15,780
- Exactly, woo woo.
910
00:34:15,780 --> 00:34:16,940
- That there ever was, 'cause he--
911
00:34:16,940 --> 00:34:18,100
- The top boys and--
912
00:34:18,100 --> 00:34:20,380
- And I'd like to thank you for your service.
913
00:34:20,380 --> 00:34:21,220
- Yeah, thank you.
914
00:34:21,220 --> 00:34:22,380
We love our veterans.
915
00:34:22,380 --> 00:34:24,660
- Yeah, thank you.
916
00:34:24,660 --> 00:34:26,140
- We're all right now in Thailand.
917
00:34:26,140 --> 00:34:26,980
- Right, guys.
918
00:34:26,980 --> 00:34:27,820
- I hope you guys have fun.
919
00:34:27,820 --> 00:34:29,420
Listen to the two of us in Thailand.
920
00:34:29,420 --> 00:34:30,260
- It's good to let that happen.
921
00:34:30,260 --> 00:34:31,100
- Don't say bigger.
922
00:34:31,100 --> 00:34:34,580
- No, no, no, no, no, don't send biggers.
923
00:34:34,580 --> 00:34:36,420
It's like, I got them up, but--
924
00:34:36,420 --> 00:34:38,580
(laughing)
925
00:34:38,580 --> 00:34:40,260
- No, no, thank you.
926
00:34:40,260 --> 00:34:44,700
But do send our pictures to our sponsors
927
00:34:44,700 --> 00:34:46,260
that are coming up right now,
928
00:34:46,260 --> 00:34:48,100
'cause we're gonna take a quick break.
929
00:34:48,100 --> 00:34:48,940
- Go, but--
930
00:34:48,940 --> 00:34:51,140
- The Blacklingin' Collective Podcast
931
00:34:51,140 --> 00:34:54,180
will return after a word from our sponsors.
932
00:34:54,180 --> 00:34:56,780
(upbeat music)
933
00:34:56,780 --> 00:34:59,360
(upbeat music)
934
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:22,940
( mph music)
935
00:35:22,940 --> 00:35:30,840
(soft music)
936
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:31,860
Welcome back!
937
00:35:31,860 --> 00:35:33,180
- Welcome back!
938
00:35:33,180 --> 00:35:34,180
(laughing)
939
00:35:34,180 --> 00:35:38,380
- 2154th edition of the BLC podcast.
940
00:35:38,380 --> 00:35:39,220
That's right ladies and gentlemen,
941
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:42,340
well Alan, you surprised me with our return.
942
00:35:42,340 --> 00:35:44,020
So you got to give me a second.
943
00:35:44,020 --> 00:35:46,040
(laughing)
944
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:47,900
I've been drinking this lukewarm water,
945
00:35:47,900 --> 00:35:50,300
the only thing that lets the silky,
946
00:35:50,300 --> 00:35:53,460
this, ooh boys, no worries, whatever, bucket.
947
00:35:53,460 --> 00:35:54,380
Great stuff.
948
00:35:54,380 --> 00:35:58,540
Well Fred, we had an idea, Alan and I,
949
00:35:58,540 --> 00:36:01,340
then we're gonna do it right now.
950
00:36:01,340 --> 00:36:02,180
- Yeah, okay.
951
00:36:02,180 --> 00:36:04,300
- We talked about this, you know about this.
952
00:36:04,300 --> 00:36:05,160
- Oh no, no.
953
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:06,580
- Yeah, we talked about what we're gonna do
954
00:36:06,580 --> 00:36:09,820
is we're gonna get a random subject simulator.
955
00:36:09,820 --> 00:36:11,620
- An eye ability.
956
00:36:11,620 --> 00:36:13,620
- Right, so we're gonna get a random subject,
957
00:36:13,620 --> 00:36:15,100
so whatever, some,
958
00:36:15,100 --> 00:36:15,940
- Minimizer.
959
00:36:15,940 --> 00:36:17,620
- Guest to make a master.
960
00:36:17,620 --> 00:36:18,460
- Yeah, exactly,
961
00:36:18,460 --> 00:36:19,940
and it's gonna bring up a random subject,
962
00:36:19,940 --> 00:36:21,380
we're gonna roast it, Fred.
963
00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:22,500
- Oh, yeah.
964
00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:25,820
- So we're gonna do it right now.
965
00:36:25,820 --> 00:36:26,980
Fred, are you ready?
966
00:36:26,980 --> 00:36:28,100
- Yeah.
967
00:36:28,100 --> 00:36:32,100
- Okay, I volunteer to do the first roasting.
968
00:36:32,100 --> 00:36:37,060
All right, all right ladies and gentlemen,
969
00:36:37,060 --> 00:36:38,180
let's hit,
970
00:36:38,180 --> 00:36:39,540
Alan, do you have a noise for like a,
971
00:36:39,540 --> 00:36:40,540
(mimicking)
972
00:36:40,540 --> 00:36:41,380
like that was like,
973
00:36:41,380 --> 00:36:45,060
when they, you know when on Jeopardy,
974
00:36:45,060 --> 00:36:46,420
when the like, the clues come up,
975
00:36:46,420 --> 00:36:47,260
yeah, it's like,
976
00:36:47,260 --> 00:36:49,340
(mimicking)
977
00:36:49,340 --> 00:36:50,340
(mimicking)
978
00:36:50,340 --> 00:36:51,340
Yeah, we'll think that.
979
00:36:51,340 --> 00:36:53,420
- All right, right, Buggho.
980
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:54,340
(laughing)
981
00:36:54,340 --> 00:36:57,420
- No more, all right, so here we go, we're gonna hit it,
982
00:36:57,420 --> 00:36:58,420
and,
983
00:36:58,420 --> 00:37:00,420
(mimicking)
984
00:37:00,420 --> 00:37:02,260
and the subject is,
985
00:37:02,260 --> 00:37:03,580
(mimicking)
986
00:37:03,580 --> 00:37:04,860
50th birthday.
987
00:37:04,860 --> 00:37:06,860
(mimicking)
988
00:37:06,860 --> 00:37:09,620
- It is time for a roast.
989
00:37:09,620 --> 00:37:10,620
- Yep.
990
00:37:10,620 --> 00:37:12,260
- We're gonna roast you, Fred.
991
00:37:12,260 --> 00:37:13,900
- All right, give it to me.
992
00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:14,700
- Fred,
993
00:37:14,700 --> 00:37:17,300
Fred, you're turning 50,
994
00:37:17,300 --> 00:37:18,380
which is wild.
995
00:37:19,340 --> 00:37:21,420
Because you still dress,
996
00:37:21,420 --> 00:37:24,700
like you're waiting for your mix take to drop in 2003.
997
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:26,700
(laughing)
998
00:37:26,700 --> 00:37:30,460
Fred, you know, if there's one thing I know about you,
999
00:37:30,460 --> 00:37:32,380
is that you're the kind of guy who says,
1000
00:37:32,380 --> 00:37:33,860
"I'm not tired."
1001
00:37:33,860 --> 00:37:36,100
Then falls asleep, sitting straight up,
1002
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:38,180
with one hand still holding his phone,
1003
00:37:38,180 --> 00:37:39,580
what the fuck are these already?
1004
00:37:39,580 --> 00:37:40,580
(laughing)
1005
00:37:40,580 --> 00:37:41,420
Fred!
1006
00:37:41,420 --> 00:37:44,580
Your knees don't creak anymore.
1007
00:37:44,580 --> 00:37:47,580
They send notifications.
1008
00:37:47,580 --> 00:37:49,820
(laughing)
1009
00:37:49,820 --> 00:37:51,320
- Boo!
1010
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,860
- Now, Fred, you used to be the life of the party,
1011
00:37:54,860 --> 00:37:57,020
but now you're the guy asking,
1012
00:37:57,020 --> 00:37:59,380
"Who's coming to this party?"
1013
00:37:59,380 --> 00:38:02,540
Before deciding whether you're going or not.
1014
00:38:02,540 --> 00:38:04,300
- Larry David's over right there.
1015
00:38:04,300 --> 00:38:05,140
- Is it?
1016
00:38:05,140 --> 00:38:07,140
- I don't know, this is a,
1017
00:38:07,140 --> 00:38:08,300
this is a great-- - Oh, who's gonna be there?
1018
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:09,660
Who's gonna be there?
1019
00:38:09,660 --> 00:38:13,700
- Well, Fred, you've been 35 for about 15 years now,
1020
00:38:13,700 --> 00:38:16,020
and honestly your commitment is impressive.
1021
00:38:16,020 --> 00:38:16,860
- Thank you.
1022
00:38:17,660 --> 00:38:19,100
- But you're not just old.
1023
00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:20,180
- Nope.
1024
00:38:20,180 --> 00:38:23,420
- You remember when phones were attached to walls,
1025
00:38:23,420 --> 00:38:25,780
and people had to lie to each other in person.
1026
00:38:25,780 --> 00:38:28,380
(laughing)
1027
00:38:28,380 --> 00:38:29,220
- I'm sure I'm--
1028
00:38:29,220 --> 00:38:30,060
- Yeah, yeah.
1029
00:38:30,060 --> 00:38:31,260
(laughing)
1030
00:38:31,260 --> 00:38:34,460
- You're here at the age where you no longer need enemies.
1031
00:38:34,460 --> 00:38:35,300
- Nope.
1032
00:38:35,300 --> 00:38:36,860
- Because you have stairs.
1033
00:38:36,860 --> 00:38:37,900
- I don't need enemies.
1034
00:38:37,900 --> 00:38:39,460
I need animals.
1035
00:38:39,460 --> 00:38:40,460
- And up there, yeah.
1036
00:38:40,460 --> 00:38:42,420
(laughing)
1037
00:38:42,420 --> 00:38:46,140
Well, Fred, you're 50 years old.
1038
00:38:46,140 --> 00:38:46,980
- All right.
1039
00:38:46,980 --> 00:38:49,060
- But let's be honest, your Facebook profile's been giving
1040
00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:51,860
Uncle Energy for a long time.
1041
00:38:51,860 --> 00:38:53,700
- Big Uncle.
1042
00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:57,060
- And that's right, near idea of turning up these days, Fred,
1043
00:38:57,060 --> 00:38:59,900
is increasing the font size on your phone.
1044
00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:00,940
(laughing)
1045
00:39:00,940 --> 00:39:02,100
I am not there yet.
1046
00:39:02,100 --> 00:39:02,940
I've seen you before.
1047
00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:03,780
- I've seen you before.
1048
00:39:03,780 --> 00:39:04,780
- Oh, I am not there.
1049
00:39:04,780 --> 00:39:07,340
I refuse to take my font bigger.
1050
00:39:07,340 --> 00:39:09,060
- No.
1051
00:39:09,060 --> 00:39:12,220
- Fred, you're not old.
1052
00:39:12,220 --> 00:39:15,300
But your knees sound like somebody
1053
00:39:15,300 --> 00:39:17,380
opening a bag of chips in church.
1054
00:39:17,380 --> 00:39:20,180
(laughing)
1055
00:39:20,180 --> 00:39:21,500
- You're missing lab, Salad.
1056
00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:22,340
- Here's the lab.
1057
00:39:22,340 --> 00:39:23,180
- All right, for real.
1058
00:39:23,180 --> 00:39:24,020
Give me something here.
1059
00:39:24,020 --> 00:39:24,860
- There's a lot of meat.
1060
00:39:24,860 --> 00:39:26,780
- I feel like this is not good.
1061
00:39:26,780 --> 00:39:27,780
- No drugs.
1062
00:39:27,780 --> 00:39:28,940
There's a many.
1063
00:39:28,940 --> 00:39:29,940
- Yeah, for real.
1064
00:39:29,940 --> 00:39:30,780
Thank you.
1065
00:39:30,780 --> 00:39:32,220
Thank you very much, Fred, for that.
1066
00:39:32,220 --> 00:39:35,100
Well, Fred, you've finally received age
1067
00:39:35,100 --> 00:39:38,060
where your barber spends more time trimming his eyebrows.
1068
00:39:38,060 --> 00:39:38,980
(laughing)
1069
00:39:38,980 --> 00:39:41,100
Or trimming your eyebrows than your hair.
1070
00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:43,100
(laughing)
1071
00:39:44,940 --> 00:39:46,700
- So, Fred, you're thanking you, Fred.
1072
00:39:46,700 --> 00:39:47,540
Thank you.
1073
00:39:47,540 --> 00:39:50,260
Fred, your Facebook profile says you're blessed.
1074
00:39:50,260 --> 00:39:51,100
(laughing)
1075
00:39:51,100 --> 00:39:52,780
It really does, by the way.
1076
00:39:52,780 --> 00:39:54,820
But, your posture says,
1077
00:39:54,820 --> 00:39:57,260
I should have been stretching since 1998.
1078
00:39:57,260 --> 00:39:59,140
(laughing)
1079
00:39:59,140 --> 00:40:01,220
(laughing)
1080
00:40:01,220 --> 00:40:03,220
Fred, you still think you're young, though.
1081
00:40:03,220 --> 00:40:04,300
(laughing)
1082
00:40:04,300 --> 00:40:05,900
And you think you're young,
1083
00:40:05,900 --> 00:40:08,100
because you know all the words to songs
1084
00:40:08,100 --> 00:40:10,100
that are now played in the grocery stores.
1085
00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:12,440
(laughing)
1086
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,860
(laughing)
1087
00:40:14,860 --> 00:40:16,720
- Fred.
1088
00:40:16,720 --> 00:40:17,760
(laughing)
1089
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,360
- Fred, you're finally at the age.
1090
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,280
- Oh, we're about to get to, oh, what?
1091
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:23,800
- Where do you check the weather
1092
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,280
before making emotional commitments?
1093
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:27,120
- Info.
1094
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,920
(laughing)
1095
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,560
- Fred, you still talk like you've got options.
1096
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,040
Which is cute.
1097
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,200
'Cause now your bedtime is one of them.
1098
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,200
(laughing)
1099
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,160
(laughing)
1100
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:41,800
Fred's not lazing.
1101
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,040
No, no.
1102
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,680
He's just preserving what little cartilage he has left.
1103
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:48,880
(laughing)
1104
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,400
All right, Fred, one more.
1105
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:51,240
- No.
1106
00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:52,080
- This is it.
1107
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,720
Fred's 3050, it's inspiring to all of us, Fred,
1108
00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:58,960
because it shows that you can survive this long
1109
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,640
on confidence, snacks, and never stretching.
1110
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,760
(laughing)
1111
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:06,240
All jokes aside.
1112
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:07,240
- Yeah.
1113
00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,120
- Happy 50th birthday, buddy.
1114
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:09,940
- Thank you.
1115
00:41:09,940 --> 00:41:12,780
- You're a whole half a century with your pride intact.
1116
00:41:12,780 --> 00:41:15,620
Joints mostly working in your ability
1117
00:41:15,620 --> 00:41:17,860
to annoy people while making them laugh.
1118
00:41:17,860 --> 00:41:19,100
- They're still laughing.
1119
00:41:19,100 --> 00:41:21,820
- They don't give a shit about you.
1120
00:41:21,820 --> 00:41:23,300
They know how funny this is.
1121
00:41:23,300 --> 00:41:24,620
- That is it.
1122
00:41:24,620 --> 00:41:26,620
- This is AI laughing at AI.
1123
00:41:26,620 --> 00:41:30,460
We're roasting you, of course, 'cause we love you.
1124
00:41:30,460 --> 00:41:34,500
Hey, because at your age, a roast is much safer
1125
00:41:34,500 --> 00:41:36,340
for your heart than a surprise party.
1126
00:41:36,340 --> 00:41:37,420
- There you go.
1127
00:41:37,420 --> 00:41:38,660
(laughing)
1128
00:41:38,660 --> 00:41:40,580
- I think Alan may have something too.
1129
00:41:40,580 --> 00:41:41,820
(cheering)
1130
00:41:41,820 --> 00:41:42,740
Oh, no, he doesn't.
1131
00:41:42,740 --> 00:41:44,300
(laughing)
1132
00:41:44,300 --> 00:41:45,300
- I find him.
1133
00:41:45,300 --> 00:41:46,140
- Look at this.
1134
00:41:46,140 --> 00:41:47,300
- Hello.
1135
00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:50,260
- Hey, the star studded knight on the BLC podcast, Fred.
1136
00:41:50,260 --> 00:41:51,100
- Wow.
1137
00:41:51,100 --> 00:41:53,340
- Did somebody say roast?
1138
00:41:53,340 --> 00:41:54,180
- Yes, sir.
1139
00:41:54,180 --> 00:41:56,180
Well, you're the roast master yourself.
1140
00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:59,580
- Yeah, we got some stuff, first and then you.
1141
00:41:59,580 --> 00:42:03,540
- Fred, I got some roasted nuts.
1142
00:42:03,540 --> 00:42:04,380
- Oh, yeah.
1143
00:42:04,380 --> 00:42:06,380
(laughing)
1144
00:42:07,860 --> 00:42:08,700
- Oh, yeah.
1145
00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:09,860
- Oh, yeah.
1146
00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:11,700
(laughing)
1147
00:42:11,700 --> 00:42:13,180
- He's very excited to see it.
1148
00:42:13,180 --> 00:42:14,020
- I'm like, man.
1149
00:42:14,020 --> 00:42:17,420
- You know what, you know five, oh?
1150
00:42:17,420 --> 00:42:19,220
That's half a century?
1151
00:42:19,220 --> 00:42:20,060
- Is it?
1152
00:42:20,060 --> 00:42:21,780
- Oh, yeah.
1153
00:42:21,780 --> 00:42:22,620
Five of them.
1154
00:42:22,620 --> 00:42:23,460
- Five of them.
1155
00:42:23,460 --> 00:42:24,300
- Five of them?
1156
00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:25,140
- Oh, no.
1157
00:42:25,140 --> 00:42:27,140
(laughing)
1158
00:42:27,140 --> 00:42:28,860
- Hey, hey, hey.
1159
00:42:28,860 --> 00:42:30,820
- I'm not coming down, never too, man.
1160
00:42:30,820 --> 00:42:32,620
- No, no, no.
1161
00:42:32,620 --> 00:42:36,440
Hey, hey, I got something for you.
1162
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:41,020
Holy, holy, yeah, can't be hard.
1163
00:42:41,020 --> 00:42:42,020
Please.
1164
00:42:42,020 --> 00:42:43,460
There's this block.
1165
00:42:43,460 --> 00:42:46,520
It doesn't matter where you go.
1166
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,860
I do know.
1167
00:42:48,860 --> 00:42:51,300
Let's break up with this Hollywood.
1168
00:42:51,300 --> 00:42:53,760
You ain't got no stock benefits.
1169
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:59,580
Oh, Fred, so me need that benefit.
1170
00:42:59,580 --> 00:43:01,280
Say do you have anything else to say?
1171
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:02,180
I have.
1172
00:43:02,540 --> 00:43:04,540
A-A-R-P.
1173
00:43:04,540 --> 00:43:06,420
Dude, oh my God.
1174
00:43:06,420 --> 00:43:09,260
Are you getting hit up by A-A-R-P every single day too?
1175
00:43:09,260 --> 00:43:09,980
Oh, yeah.
1176
00:43:09,980 --> 00:43:12,140
And we'll want you to hit 50.
1177
00:43:12,140 --> 00:43:14,420
I'm not 50.
1178
00:43:14,420 --> 00:43:17,780
I've been getting them since I was 45.
1179
00:43:17,780 --> 00:43:19,460
Yeah, I started getting them.
1180
00:43:19,460 --> 00:43:21,300
Yeah, I started getting them by 45.
1181
00:43:21,300 --> 00:43:21,800
Yeah.
1182
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:22,300
A-A-P.
1183
00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:22,800
Oh, man.
1184
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:24,100
A-A-R-P.
1185
00:43:24,100 --> 00:43:25,100
A-A-R-P.
1186
00:43:25,100 --> 00:43:28,100
Every day, they're like, you're A-A-R-P eligible.
1187
00:43:28,100 --> 00:43:29,100
And I'm like, no, I'm not.
1188
00:43:29,100 --> 00:43:30,740
A-A-R-P.
1189
00:43:31,940 --> 00:43:32,940
I'll have a song.
1190
00:43:32,940 --> 00:43:33,940
I've never heard it.
1191
00:43:33,940 --> 00:43:34,940
No, that's just made it up.
1192
00:43:34,940 --> 00:43:36,940
I'm a-A-R-P.
1193
00:43:36,940 --> 00:43:37,940
Let's try to--
1194
00:43:37,940 --> 00:43:39,940
You could be like that, Dr. Pepper.
1195
00:43:39,940 --> 00:43:40,940
I'm gonna get it.
1196
00:43:40,940 --> 00:43:41,940
Say it, all right.
1197
00:43:41,940 --> 00:43:43,940
A-A-R-P.
1198
00:43:43,940 --> 00:43:44,940
We got you.
1199
00:43:44,940 --> 00:43:45,940
A-A-R-P.
1200
00:43:45,940 --> 00:43:46,940
What does A-A-R-P do?
1201
00:43:46,940 --> 00:43:47,940
I do not know.
1202
00:43:47,940 --> 00:43:49,940
I don't know what is.
1203
00:43:49,940 --> 00:43:51,940
American Association.
1204
00:43:51,940 --> 00:43:52,940
Do you get discounts?
1205
00:43:52,940 --> 00:43:54,940
Do you discounts on stuff?
1206
00:43:54,940 --> 00:43:55,940
What?
1207
00:43:55,940 --> 00:43:57,940
Like a Fred?
1208
00:43:57,940 --> 00:43:58,940
He's got some rooms.
1209
00:43:58,940 --> 00:43:59,940
Oh!
1210
00:43:59,940 --> 00:44:00,940
Oh!
1211
00:44:00,940 --> 00:44:01,940
Oh!
1212
00:44:01,940 --> 00:44:03,940
You could come within your own room.
1213
00:44:03,940 --> 00:44:04,940
Hey, guy.
1214
00:44:04,940 --> 00:44:06,940
No tell me about that guy.
1215
00:44:06,940 --> 00:44:07,940
There's Airbnb's in hell, Fred.
1216
00:44:07,940 --> 00:44:08,940
That's your buddy.
1217
00:44:08,940 --> 00:44:10,940
They're called South Carolina this week.
1218
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:13,940
I got no Airbnb's.
1219
00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:15,940
Oh, worst part.
1220
00:44:15,940 --> 00:44:26,940
If you went to an Airbnb, and the air was out, would you be like, hey, I gotta go.
1221
00:44:26,940 --> 00:44:27,940
I can't be staying here.
1222
00:44:27,940 --> 00:44:28,940
All right.
1223
00:44:28,940 --> 00:44:30,940
This is just the B&B, at least.
1224
00:44:30,940 --> 00:44:31,940
Yeah.
1225
00:44:31,940 --> 00:44:34,940
I'm saying you could call and be like, I need a refund, right?
1226
00:44:34,940 --> 00:44:35,940
Yeah.
1227
00:44:35,940 --> 00:44:38,940
I don't do Airbnb's because the cleaning fees are out of outrage.
1228
00:44:38,940 --> 00:44:40,940
That's probably an idea you had, Satan.
1229
00:44:40,940 --> 00:44:41,940
Freddie.
1230
00:44:41,940 --> 00:44:42,940
What's up?
1231
00:44:42,940 --> 00:44:43,940
Airbnb?
1232
00:44:43,940 --> 00:44:44,940
Oh!
1233
00:44:44,940 --> 00:44:45,940
Oh!
1234
00:44:45,940 --> 00:44:46,940
It's so...
1235
00:44:46,940 --> 00:44:47,940
Hey!
1236
00:44:47,940 --> 00:44:48,940
Hey!
1237
00:44:48,940 --> 00:44:49,940
Hey!
1238
00:44:49,940 --> 00:44:50,940
Hey!
1239
00:44:50,940 --> 00:44:51,940
Hey!
1240
00:44:51,940 --> 00:44:52,940
Hey!
1241
00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:53,940
He's expecting that.
1242
00:44:53,940 --> 00:44:54,940
He's expecting that.
1243
00:44:54,940 --> 00:44:55,940
Hey!
1244
00:44:55,940 --> 00:44:56,940
All right.
1245
00:44:56,940 --> 00:44:58,940
Well, uh...
1246
00:44:58,940 --> 00:44:59,940
Bye.
1247
00:44:59,940 --> 00:45:00,940
I guess.
1248
00:45:00,940 --> 00:45:02,940
He's looking at you so old.
1249
00:45:02,940 --> 00:45:03,940
Oh.
1250
00:45:03,940 --> 00:45:04,940
How old is he?
1251
00:45:04,940 --> 00:45:05,940
How old is he?
1252
00:45:05,940 --> 00:45:06,940
He...
1253
00:45:06,940 --> 00:45:09,940
He used to see him black in white.
1254
00:45:09,940 --> 00:45:12,940
[Laughter]
1255
00:45:12,940 --> 00:45:14,940
Oh my gosh.
1256
00:45:14,940 --> 00:45:15,940
I don't...
1257
00:45:15,940 --> 00:45:16,940
Get it!
1258
00:45:16,940 --> 00:45:17,940
[Laughter]
1259
00:45:17,940 --> 00:45:19,940
He's so old.
1260
00:45:19,940 --> 00:45:22,940
He had robbery phones.
1261
00:45:22,940 --> 00:45:25,940
He found a robbery.
1262
00:45:25,940 --> 00:45:28,940
[Laughter]
1263
00:45:28,940 --> 00:45:29,940
This is a robbery.
1264
00:45:29,940 --> 00:45:32,940
I would think some better comedians would be down there with you, Satan.
1265
00:45:32,940 --> 00:45:34,940
You should definitely call them.
1266
00:45:34,940 --> 00:45:35,940
Yeah, fucking shit.
1267
00:45:35,940 --> 00:45:36,940
G-G-G-T.
1268
00:45:36,940 --> 00:45:38,940
Hey, do you know anything about me getting robbed?
1269
00:45:38,940 --> 00:45:39,940
Oh, yes.
1270
00:45:39,940 --> 00:45:40,940
I heard about that.
1271
00:45:40,940 --> 00:45:41,940
I heard about that.
1272
00:45:41,940 --> 00:45:42,940
I heard about that.
1273
00:45:42,940 --> 00:45:43,940
I heard about that.
1274
00:45:43,940 --> 00:45:44,940
No, no, no.
1275
00:45:44,940 --> 00:45:45,940
That wasn't me.
1276
00:45:45,940 --> 00:45:46,940
That wasn't you, the guy.
1277
00:45:46,940 --> 00:45:47,940
The Lord Jesus?
1278
00:45:47,940 --> 00:45:48,940
No, no, no.
1279
00:45:48,940 --> 00:45:49,940
No.
1280
00:45:49,940 --> 00:45:50,940
No.
1281
00:45:50,940 --> 00:45:51,940
No, no.
1282
00:45:51,940 --> 00:45:52,940
That was my brother.
1283
00:45:52,940 --> 00:45:53,940
Oh.
1284
00:45:53,940 --> 00:45:54,940
You know what?
1285
00:45:54,940 --> 00:45:55,940
He's been on the show?
1286
00:45:55,940 --> 00:45:56,940
Oh, yeah, yeah.
1287
00:45:56,940 --> 00:45:57,940
Oh, he's been on the show?
1288
00:45:57,940 --> 00:45:58,940
Oh, yeah, yeah.
1289
00:45:58,940 --> 00:45:59,940
Oh, he's been on the show?
1290
00:45:59,940 --> 00:46:00,940
Oh, yeah.
1291
00:46:00,940 --> 00:46:01,940
Oh, he's been on the show?
1292
00:46:01,940 --> 00:46:02,940
Oh, yeah, yeah.
1293
00:46:02,940 --> 00:46:03,940
Sorry, it's been a while.
1294
00:46:03,940 --> 00:46:04,940
He's probably pissed.
1295
00:46:04,940 --> 00:46:05,940
It's probably because he hasn't been on the show in a while.
1296
00:46:05,940 --> 00:46:06,940
Yeah.
1297
00:46:06,940 --> 00:46:07,940
Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
1298
00:46:07,940 --> 00:46:08,940
All right.
1299
00:46:08,940 --> 00:46:09,940
We'll buy now.
1300
00:46:09,940 --> 00:46:10,940
Bye-bye.
1301
00:46:10,940 --> 00:46:12,940
Back to hell with you.
1302
00:46:12,940 --> 00:46:13,940
Huh.
1303
00:46:13,940 --> 00:46:14,940
Oh, Bernie.
1304
00:46:14,940 --> 00:46:15,940
What?
1305
00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:16,940
He's doing it.
1306
00:46:16,940 --> 00:46:17,940
Bernie Max joined us.
1307
00:46:17,940 --> 00:46:18,940
Yeah, going on, yeah.
1308
00:46:18,940 --> 00:46:20,940
Celebrate friends of birthday to lose.
1309
00:46:20,940 --> 00:46:24,940
What is your friend's life?
1310
00:46:24,940 --> 00:46:25,940
What are you doing?
1311
00:46:25,940 --> 00:46:26,940
How'd you get out of your room?
1312
00:46:26,940 --> 00:46:27,940
Hey, hey, hey, hey, look at him, man.
1313
00:46:27,940 --> 00:46:28,940
You know what I'm talking to me?
1314
00:46:28,940 --> 00:46:29,940
I told you to go back in there.
1315
00:46:29,940 --> 00:46:30,940
Hey, hey, clean him, Todd.
1316
00:46:30,940 --> 00:46:31,940
You better get him.
1317
00:46:31,940 --> 00:46:32,940
He knew him, Todd.
1318
00:46:32,940 --> 00:46:33,940
I told you.
1319
00:46:33,940 --> 00:46:34,940
I know.
1320
00:46:34,940 --> 00:46:35,940
What are we doing here?
1321
00:46:35,940 --> 00:46:36,940
I don't know.
1322
00:46:36,940 --> 00:46:37,940
Well, yeah, okay.
1323
00:46:37,940 --> 00:46:38,940
Happy birthday, Fred.
1324
00:46:38,940 --> 00:46:39,940
I heard it was something out of birth.
1325
00:46:39,940 --> 00:46:40,940
Yeah.
1326
00:46:40,940 --> 00:46:41,940
I heard it was something out of birth.
1327
00:46:41,940 --> 00:46:42,940
Yeah.
1328
00:46:42,940 --> 00:46:43,940
I heard it was something out of birth.
1329
00:46:43,940 --> 00:46:44,940
Yeah.
1330
00:46:44,940 --> 00:46:45,940
Yeah.
1331
00:46:45,940 --> 00:46:46,940
Yeah.
1332
00:46:46,940 --> 00:46:47,940
Yeah.
1333
00:46:47,940 --> 00:46:48,940
Yeah.
1334
00:46:48,940 --> 00:46:49,940
Yeah.
1335
00:46:49,940 --> 00:46:50,940
Yeah.
1336
00:46:50,940 --> 00:46:51,940
Yeah.
1337
00:46:51,940 --> 00:46:52,940
I heard it was something out of birth.
1338
00:46:52,940 --> 00:46:53,940
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
1339
00:46:53,940 --> 00:46:54,940
That's right.
1340
00:46:54,940 --> 00:46:55,940
It was your friend, Fred's.
1341
00:46:55,940 --> 00:46:56,940
It was a cameo.
1342
00:46:56,940 --> 00:46:57,940
Somebody bought it for you.
1343
00:46:57,940 --> 00:46:59,940
How old were you when you passed away, Bernie, Max?
1344
00:46:59,940 --> 00:47:00,940
I was.
1345
00:47:00,940 --> 00:47:01,940
Forty-
1346
00:47:01,940 --> 00:47:03,940
Oh, remember how old I was.
1347
00:47:03,940 --> 00:47:05,940
Why you had some questions?
1348
00:47:05,940 --> 00:47:07,940
Well, I was trying to see if Fred had outlived you or not.
1349
00:47:07,940 --> 00:47:08,940
Maybe.
1350
00:47:08,940 --> 00:47:09,940
Oh, no.
1351
00:47:09,940 --> 00:47:10,940
I don't know.
1352
00:47:10,940 --> 00:47:11,940
Oh, no.
1353
00:47:11,940 --> 00:47:12,940
I don't know.
1354
00:47:12,940 --> 00:47:15,940
So, ludicrous, zeal ooterizer is a job rule.
1355
00:47:15,940 --> 00:47:16,940
That's a rule.
1356
00:47:16,940 --> 00:47:18,940
You don't do it out of baby.
1357
00:47:18,940 --> 00:47:19,940
But, you know, I don't know.
1358
00:47:19,940 --> 00:47:20,940
I don't know.
1359
00:47:20,940 --> 00:47:21,940
I don't know.
1360
00:47:21,940 --> 00:47:22,940
What's all right?
1361
00:47:22,940 --> 00:47:25,940
I just come here to say have a birthday to my boy Fred.
1362
00:47:25,940 --> 00:47:26,940
Well, thank you for coming.
1363
00:47:26,940 --> 00:47:27,940
I'm going around the house.
1364
00:47:27,940 --> 00:47:31,940
Oh, Bernie, Max, 9, at 50.
1365
00:47:31,940 --> 00:47:36,940
Oh, he had pneumonia though.
1366
00:47:36,940 --> 00:47:39,940
In the morning, the same thing working.
1367
00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:40,940
I'm sorry.
1368
00:47:40,940 --> 00:47:41,940
Happy birthday.
1369
00:47:41,940 --> 00:47:44,940
Happy birthday to his all, Fred.
1370
00:47:44,940 --> 00:47:47,940
And of course, that means it's time.
1371
00:47:47,940 --> 00:47:48,940
First sports.
1372
00:47:48,940 --> 00:47:57,420
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
1373
00:47:57,420 --> 00:48:01,940
bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, I'm doing
1374
00:48:01,940 --> 00:48:02,940
a song.
1375
00:48:02,940 --> 00:48:03,940
Yay!
1376
00:48:03,940 --> 00:48:04,940
I'm singing a great song.
1377
00:48:04,940 --> 00:48:05,940
Sports!
1378
00:48:05,940 --> 00:48:06,940
Very narrowed it, Fred.
1379
00:48:06,940 --> 00:48:07,940
Do we?
1380
00:48:07,940 --> 00:48:09,940
Ladies and gentlemen, it's finally football season.
1381
00:48:09,940 --> 00:48:10,940
Football.
1382
00:48:10,940 --> 00:48:13,940
Especially here in America.
1383
00:48:13,940 --> 00:48:14,940
Yep.
1384
00:48:14,940 --> 00:48:15,940
He nailed it.
1385
00:48:15,940 --> 00:48:18,940
Sports.
1386
00:48:18,940 --> 00:48:22,940
Did just the best parker off it?
1387
00:48:22,940 --> 00:48:23,940
It did miss me off.
1388
00:48:23,940 --> 00:48:24,940
Yeah.
1389
00:48:24,940 --> 00:48:25,940
Look at him.
1390
00:48:25,940 --> 00:48:26,940
He's turning the group.
1391
00:48:26,940 --> 00:48:30,940
The part where he took a nap while we were talking about the sports was the thing.
1392
00:48:30,940 --> 00:48:32,940
So, Fred, it's sports.
1393
00:48:32,940 --> 00:48:33,940
All right.
1394
00:48:33,940 --> 00:48:34,940
Okay.
1395
00:48:34,940 --> 00:48:38,700
Yeah, it's football season, Fred.
1396
00:48:38,700 --> 00:48:42,940
And that means that some people are about to be playing football.
1397
00:48:42,940 --> 00:48:43,940
They are.
1398
00:48:43,940 --> 00:48:45,940
That's the most I've ever seen.
1399
00:48:45,940 --> 00:48:53,940
And I heard one of those people that's about to be playing football and in the future we'll
1400
00:48:53,940 --> 00:48:58,940
be playing football at high level is one you're one and only.
1401
00:48:58,940 --> 00:48:59,940
Oh.
1402
00:48:59,940 --> 00:49:00,940
Oldest child.
1403
00:49:00,940 --> 00:49:03,940
He's playing football.
1404
00:49:03,940 --> 00:49:07,940
Oh, you said you.
1405
00:49:07,940 --> 00:49:09,940
I don't like this show.
1406
00:49:09,940 --> 00:49:10,940
What is wrong with your birthday?
1407
00:49:10,940 --> 00:49:11,940
Have you lost it?
1408
00:49:11,940 --> 00:49:17,940
Yeah, it's no, but this is first year playing a middle school football.
1409
00:49:17,940 --> 00:49:18,940
Right.
1410
00:49:18,940 --> 00:49:19,940
He's seventh grade.
1411
00:49:19,940 --> 00:49:21,940
He's playing middle school football.
1412
00:49:21,940 --> 00:49:23,940
And he had a scrimmage.
1413
00:49:23,940 --> 00:49:28,940
It was like kind of like a jamboree, but it get like four teams together and they all mix it up.
1414
00:49:28,940 --> 00:49:29,940
Like short games.
1415
00:49:29,940 --> 00:49:30,940
Yeah.
1416
00:49:30,940 --> 00:49:34,940
So they had this one kid from the school called Sanders.
1417
00:49:34,940 --> 00:49:35,940
Sanders middle school.
1418
00:49:35,940 --> 00:49:36,940
Sanders.
1419
00:49:36,940 --> 00:49:37,940
Colonel Sanders.
1420
00:49:37,940 --> 00:49:38,940
Yeah.
1421
00:49:38,940 --> 00:49:43,940
Well, I'll show you those boys some of football boys.
1422
00:49:43,940 --> 00:49:45,940
So they had this one key.
1423
00:49:45,940 --> 00:49:48,940
And first of all, like when I got the he had to ride the bus.
1424
00:49:48,940 --> 00:49:50,940
So I had to like meet them.
1425
00:49:50,940 --> 00:49:51,940
Yeah, yeah, you can't.
1426
00:49:51,940 --> 00:49:52,940
Yeah, you're not ride the bus.
1427
00:49:52,940 --> 00:49:56,940
And I had never seen them, you know, in their uniform.
1428
00:49:56,940 --> 00:50:00,940
So like when I pulled up and I'm walking to the thing, I see a bus.
1429
00:50:00,940 --> 00:50:07,940
I see a football team and his colors, which are like gold and purple.
1430
00:50:07,940 --> 00:50:09,940
And I was like, oh, good.
1431
00:50:09,940 --> 00:50:10,940
There they go.
1432
00:50:10,940 --> 00:50:12,940
And there is number six seven.
1433
00:50:12,940 --> 00:50:13,940
That's him.
1434
00:50:13,940 --> 00:50:14,940
I'm going to go.
1435
00:50:14,940 --> 00:50:15,940
That's on the hill.
1436
00:50:15,940 --> 00:50:16,940
Good luck.
1437
00:50:16,940 --> 00:50:17,940
Yeah.
1438
00:50:17,940 --> 00:50:22,940
I mean, and I started walking towards the kids and the coaches standing in front of him.
1439
00:50:22,940 --> 00:50:24,940
He was like, Hey, how you doing?
1440
00:50:24,940 --> 00:50:25,940
And he went up and grabbed my hand.
1441
00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:26,940
I was like, good.
1442
00:50:26,940 --> 00:50:28,940
I was like, I don't know this coach.
1443
00:50:28,940 --> 00:50:32,940
And then I looked at the uniform and said Sanders on it.
1444
00:50:32,940 --> 00:50:35,940
I was like, Oh, you fucking traitor.
1445
00:50:35,940 --> 00:50:37,940
Yeah, I was like, Hey, hey, hey,
1446
00:50:37,940 --> 00:50:40,940
I'm a kid on the helmet.
1447
00:50:40,940 --> 00:50:44,940
You know, there's something a Kentucky man can help you with there.
1448
00:50:44,940 --> 00:50:46,940
I said, I didn't bother with the sale.
1449
00:50:46,940 --> 00:50:50,940
You know, I said, I don't, hey, don't touch our kids.
1450
00:50:50,940 --> 00:50:58,940
But this, this, uh, just school, they got a lineman who was 13 years old.
1451
00:50:58,940 --> 00:50:59,940
Okay.
1452
00:50:59,940 --> 00:51:02,940
65, 2.95.
1453
00:51:02,940 --> 00:51:03,940
Wow.
1454
00:51:03,940 --> 00:51:08,940
And I just found out that's the first game of the year.
1455
00:51:08,940 --> 00:51:10,940
And my son is also a lineman.
1456
00:51:10,940 --> 00:51:12,940
So, wait, you going up against the other.
1457
00:51:12,940 --> 00:51:13,940
He's in middle school.
1458
00:51:13,940 --> 00:51:14,940
Yeah, he's in middle school.
1459
00:51:14,940 --> 00:51:15,940
He's 13 years old.
1460
00:51:15,940 --> 00:51:19,940
Do you need me to come over there and be a practice guy?
1461
00:51:19,940 --> 00:51:21,940
How about this is what you do?
1462
00:51:21,940 --> 00:51:23,940
You make sure he doesn't stretch.
1463
00:51:23,940 --> 00:51:24,940
That's it.
1464
00:51:24,940 --> 00:51:27,940
And so on the first play, he pops his ACLs.
1465
00:51:27,940 --> 00:51:28,940
Yeah.
1466
00:51:28,940 --> 00:51:30,940
And I'll demonstrate that.
1467
00:51:30,940 --> 00:51:32,940
I said, I said, I said, I got to do this.
1468
00:51:32,940 --> 00:51:33,940
I said, what's this?
1469
00:51:33,940 --> 00:51:34,940
Just go for his legs.
1470
00:51:34,940 --> 00:51:35,940
Just keep going for his legs, man.
1471
00:51:35,940 --> 00:51:36,940
Yeah, man.
1472
00:51:36,940 --> 00:51:37,940
Hey guy.
1473
00:51:37,940 --> 00:51:38,940
As kids.
1474
00:51:38,940 --> 00:51:39,940
The fucking monster.
1475
00:51:39,940 --> 00:51:42,940
You got to hope he's lazy and tired.
1476
00:51:42,940 --> 00:51:43,940
I guess tired.
1477
00:51:43,940 --> 00:51:44,940
Right.
1478
00:51:44,940 --> 00:51:48,940
Yeah, because some of them kids that be like that big or just not.
1479
00:51:48,940 --> 00:51:52,940
They haven't, they haven't grown in that body.
1480
00:51:52,940 --> 00:51:53,940
The body hadn't.
1481
00:51:53,940 --> 00:51:54,940
Right.
1482
00:51:54,940 --> 00:51:57,940
And if they frustrated, get frustrated early a lot of times, they're like,
1483
00:51:57,940 --> 00:51:59,940
so, Ward they all that all that weight.
1484
00:51:59,940 --> 00:52:00,940
Right.
1485
00:52:00,940 --> 00:52:01,940
Yeah, that's the thing.
1486
00:52:01,940 --> 00:52:03,940
The size is not the only thing in the game.
1487
00:52:03,940 --> 00:52:04,940
Right.
1488
00:52:04,940 --> 00:52:06,940
But the kid was just that's a lot of size.
1489
00:52:06,940 --> 00:52:08,940
He was pushing just pushing people around.
1490
00:52:08,940 --> 00:52:09,940
Yeah, of course.
1491
00:52:09,940 --> 00:52:10,940
That's all he had to do.
1492
00:52:10,940 --> 00:52:12,940
It looked like the blind side.
1493
00:52:12,940 --> 00:52:18,940
Yeah, I mean, like me playing Black football with my son.
1494
00:52:18,940 --> 00:52:19,940
Huge.
1495
00:52:19,940 --> 00:52:20,940
Huge.
1496
00:52:20,940 --> 00:52:22,940
And that's that's first game of the week.
1497
00:52:22,940 --> 00:52:24,940
So I'm excited for it.
1498
00:52:24,940 --> 00:52:25,940
Well, that'll be exciting.
1499
00:52:25,940 --> 00:52:27,940
Way more excited than he is.
1500
00:52:27,940 --> 00:52:28,940
Yeah.
1501
00:52:28,940 --> 00:52:29,940
Yeah.
1502
00:52:29,940 --> 00:52:30,940
Yeah.
1503
00:52:30,940 --> 00:52:32,940
I don't know if he's like, I'll get cut for the team.
1504
00:52:32,940 --> 00:52:34,940
I'm like, dude, you got 16 kids.
1505
00:52:34,940 --> 00:52:35,940
They already gave you a job.
1506
00:52:35,940 --> 00:52:36,940
No way.
1507
00:52:36,940 --> 00:52:37,940
You're sad.
1508
00:52:37,940 --> 00:52:39,940
You're not going to cut you if you have a jersey.
1509
00:52:39,940 --> 00:52:41,940
You they're not going to pay for someone else have a jersey.
1510
00:52:41,940 --> 00:52:42,940
All right.
1511
00:52:42,940 --> 00:52:44,940
How did he get 60 centers?
1512
00:52:44,940 --> 00:52:45,940
Or starter.
1513
00:52:45,940 --> 00:52:51,940
I want him to get 55 because, because probably my low pops is number.
1514
00:52:51,940 --> 00:52:52,940
Yeah.
1515
00:52:52,940 --> 00:52:55,940
That was my number when I played at.
1516
00:52:55,940 --> 00:53:00,940
That school, that school, no school, that he got.
1517
00:53:00,940 --> 00:53:01,940
I believe we played.
1518
00:53:01,940 --> 00:53:03,940
We didn't have a winning season when I played.
1519
00:53:03,940 --> 00:53:05,940
We didn't win any games.
1520
00:53:05,940 --> 00:53:07,940
Have they ever winning season?
1521
00:53:07,940 --> 00:53:09,940
But how many ever have a winning season?
1522
00:53:09,940 --> 00:53:10,940
I'm pretty.
1523
00:53:10,940 --> 00:53:16,940
Yeah, they had a like, but they were pretty good with my, like my older cousin was there before
1524
00:53:16,940 --> 00:53:17,940
me.
1525
00:53:17,940 --> 00:53:19,940
Like they were really good back then.
1526
00:53:19,940 --> 00:53:21,940
That was not what they were black court.
1527
00:53:21,940 --> 00:53:22,940
Yeah.
1528
00:53:22,940 --> 00:53:25,940
That's where it faded to gray.
1529
00:53:25,940 --> 00:53:26,940
Yeah.
1530
00:53:26,940 --> 00:53:32,940
Well, you know, Fred, the thing about it is you may not have won the games on the field, but you
1531
00:53:32,940 --> 00:53:34,940
probably won the games in your heart.
1532
00:53:34,940 --> 00:53:35,940
No.
1533
00:53:35,940 --> 00:53:37,940
That was a sad season, man.
1534
00:53:37,940 --> 00:53:38,940
Yeah.
1535
00:53:38,940 --> 00:53:40,940
Everyone won no games.
1536
00:53:40,940 --> 00:53:41,940
It is sad.
1537
00:53:41,940 --> 00:53:42,940
I agree.
1538
00:53:42,940 --> 00:53:44,940
That was another team that we played.
1539
00:53:44,940 --> 00:53:47,940
They hadn't won any games and they won the game.
1540
00:53:47,940 --> 00:53:48,940
Yeah.
1541
00:53:48,940 --> 00:53:49,940
That sucks when the team.
1542
00:53:49,940 --> 00:53:50,940
Yeah.
1543
00:53:50,940 --> 00:53:53,940
Yeah, I mean, like you're the loser of the loser team.
1544
00:53:53,940 --> 00:53:54,940
Yeah.
1545
00:53:54,940 --> 00:53:57,940
Well, they had like, they just won the Super Bowl.
1546
00:53:57,940 --> 00:53:58,940
Yeah.
1547
00:53:58,940 --> 00:53:59,940
I mean, get it.
1548
00:53:59,940 --> 00:54:01,940
Yeah, they did the loser bowl.
1549
00:54:01,940 --> 00:54:03,940
That's what happened to us in the flying football.
1550
00:54:03,940 --> 00:54:05,940
I told you guys about it because the other guy cheated.
1551
00:54:05,940 --> 00:54:13,940
Well, speaking of the loser bowl, Fred, real quick, who do you think we got to get these on paper
1552
00:54:13,940 --> 00:54:14,940
right now?
1553
00:54:14,940 --> 00:54:15,940
And I have a thought about this at all.
1554
00:54:15,940 --> 00:54:16,940
So we're going to be all right now alive.
1555
00:54:16,940 --> 00:54:17,940
We're doing it alive.
1556
00:54:17,940 --> 00:54:19,940
Fred, who are you?
1557
00:54:19,940 --> 00:54:27,940
Who do you think can represent the AFC and the NFC in this year's Super Bowl of football?
1558
00:54:27,940 --> 00:54:28,940
Okay.
1559
00:54:28,940 --> 00:54:30,940
So Alan, you be thinking about it as well.
1560
00:54:30,940 --> 00:54:33,940
So we'll all right, well for talks.
1561
00:54:33,940 --> 00:54:34,940
Yeah.
1562
00:54:34,940 --> 00:54:44,940
I'm, I'm going to say the Toledo donkey butts from the AFC.
1563
00:54:44,940 --> 00:54:45,940
Okay.
1564
00:54:45,940 --> 00:54:48,940
And the Norkelein of Titty Bakes.
1565
00:54:48,940 --> 00:54:49,940
All right.
1566
00:54:49,940 --> 00:54:52,940
Are going to be the Super Bowl.
1567
00:54:52,940 --> 00:54:55,940
This is not the same game that I was thinking about.
1568
00:54:55,940 --> 00:54:56,940
Oh, I'm sorry.
1569
00:54:56,940 --> 00:54:57,940
Oh, I'm sorry.
1570
00:54:57,940 --> 00:54:58,940
No, no, no.
1571
00:54:58,940 --> 00:54:59,940
Oh, it's fine.
1572
00:54:59,940 --> 00:55:00,940
Are you talking about is that lady's love?
1573
00:55:00,940 --> 00:55:01,940
Titty Bakes.
1574
00:55:01,940 --> 00:55:03,940
Because that's a thing.
1575
00:55:03,940 --> 00:55:10,940
I don't know the Titty Bakes didn't really have the, the, the, the, the libel action.
1576
00:55:10,940 --> 00:55:13,940
The Titty Bats back, the Titty Bakes backfield.
1577
00:55:13,940 --> 00:55:14,940
Yeah.
1578
00:55:14,940 --> 00:55:15,940
There's just not where it needs to be.
1579
00:55:15,940 --> 00:55:19,940
Yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't solid.
1580
00:55:19,940 --> 00:55:20,940
Right.
1581
00:55:20,940 --> 00:55:23,940
It was actually kind of too loose.
1582
00:55:23,940 --> 00:55:24,940
Yeah.
1583
00:55:24,940 --> 00:55:32,940
All right, ladies and gentlemen, well, I think that, uh, I think it's going to be.
1584
00:55:32,940 --> 00:55:34,940
Who's it going to be?
1585
00:55:34,940 --> 00:55:37,940
It's going to be the Los Angeles Rams.
1586
00:55:37,940 --> 00:55:38,940
Yeah.
1587
00:55:38,940 --> 00:55:39,940
Yeah.
1588
00:55:39,940 --> 00:55:44,940
I think it rams the Los Angeles chargers.
1589
00:55:44,940 --> 00:55:46,940
No, I'm calling it.
1590
00:55:46,940 --> 00:55:52,940
I'm going to say bills and rams.
1591
00:55:52,940 --> 00:55:53,940
You said rams already.
1592
00:55:53,940 --> 00:55:55,940
I know you say rams.
1593
00:55:55,940 --> 00:55:56,940
I speak.
1594
00:55:56,940 --> 00:55:57,940
You shook your head.
1595
00:55:57,940 --> 00:55:58,940
Yes.
1596
00:55:58,940 --> 00:55:59,940
Bill's books.
1597
00:55:59,940 --> 00:56:01,940
Bill's books.
1598
00:56:01,940 --> 00:56:02,940
Really?
1599
00:56:02,940 --> 00:56:03,940
Yeah.
1600
00:56:03,940 --> 00:56:04,940
Okay.
1601
00:56:04,940 --> 00:56:05,940
Alan, how about you?
1602
00:56:05,940 --> 00:56:12,940
I swear to God, if you say Jens.
1603
00:56:12,940 --> 00:56:15,940
No, no, I'm not going to actually, I was thinking Jets.
1604
00:56:15,940 --> 00:56:17,940
I was thinking, I'm not.
1605
00:56:17,940 --> 00:56:19,940
We're going to make the playoffs.
1606
00:56:19,940 --> 00:56:21,940
We're going to make the playoffs.
1607
00:56:21,940 --> 00:56:23,940
We're going to make the playoffs.
1608
00:56:23,940 --> 00:56:25,940
But we ain't going to the Super Bowl.
1609
00:56:25,940 --> 00:56:26,940
F.C.
1610
00:56:26,940 --> 00:56:27,940
I mean, I.
1611
00:56:27,940 --> 00:56:30,940
That's going to be tough because the L.C.
1612
00:56:30,940 --> 00:56:36,940
S.C.
1613
00:56:36,940 --> 00:56:42,940
I mean, I'm thinking of probably actually, I think Jaguars.
1614
00:56:42,940 --> 00:56:43,940
All right.
1615
00:56:43,940 --> 00:56:45,940
So you're going to say Jacksonville.
1616
00:56:45,940 --> 00:56:46,940
Yeah.
1617
00:56:46,940 --> 00:56:48,940
Jacksonville in San Francisco.
1618
00:56:48,940 --> 00:56:49,940
Okay.
1619
00:56:49,940 --> 00:56:50,940
That's okay.
1620
00:56:50,940 --> 00:56:51,940
All right.
1621
00:56:51,940 --> 00:56:52,940
We'll see about that.
1622
00:56:52,940 --> 00:56:53,940
That's the one.
1623
00:56:53,940 --> 00:56:54,940
That's the one.
1624
00:56:54,940 --> 00:56:55,940
I think we get that right.
1625
00:56:55,940 --> 00:56:57,940
We don't need to pick who actually wins the game.
1626
00:56:57,940 --> 00:56:58,940
We're good.
1627
00:56:58,940 --> 00:57:00,940
We don't need to go.
1628
00:57:00,940 --> 00:57:01,940
Yeah, we're good.
1629
00:57:01,940 --> 00:57:03,940
If those of you go, we don't pick a winner.
1630
00:57:03,940 --> 00:57:04,940
Right.
1631
00:57:04,940 --> 00:57:05,940
We want to be there.
1632
00:57:05,940 --> 00:57:06,940
We've already won.
1633
00:57:06,940 --> 00:57:07,940
We've already won.
1634
00:57:07,940 --> 00:57:08,940
Yeah.
1635
00:57:08,940 --> 00:57:09,940
We won more.
1636
00:57:09,940 --> 00:57:10,940
We should have bet on.
1637
00:57:10,940 --> 00:57:12,940
Can you bet on that on Colchie here from something, Fred?
1638
00:57:12,940 --> 00:57:13,940
What?
1639
00:57:13,940 --> 00:57:15,940
Like who's going to be in the Super Bowl?
1640
00:57:15,940 --> 00:57:16,940
I'm pretty sure.
1641
00:57:16,940 --> 00:57:18,940
I did pick Spain to win the World Cup.
1642
00:57:18,940 --> 00:57:20,940
We should expect.
1643
00:57:20,940 --> 00:57:27,940
I think we should each put $20 on our team, on our Super Bowl picks and see if anybody wins.
1644
00:57:27,940 --> 00:57:28,940
Yeah.
1645
00:57:28,940 --> 00:57:29,940
There you go, ladies and gentlemen.
1646
00:57:29,940 --> 00:57:30,940
What are you doing?
1647
00:57:30,940 --> 00:57:33,940
Well, I think that that's a great idea.
1648
00:57:33,940 --> 00:57:42,940
Fred, I also think that I wanted to thank you.
1649
00:57:42,940 --> 00:57:43,940
No, no, that's right.
1650
00:57:43,940 --> 00:57:45,940
I'm not going to thank you.
1651
00:57:45,940 --> 00:57:46,940
Fuck you.
1652
00:57:46,940 --> 00:57:47,940
Fred.
1653
00:57:47,940 --> 00:57:48,940
What?
1654
00:57:48,940 --> 00:57:49,940
I don't know.
1655
00:57:49,940 --> 00:57:51,940
It's a concoffin-y of concoffin-y's.
1656
00:57:51,940 --> 00:57:52,940
Why?
1657
00:57:52,940 --> 00:57:56,940
Fred, I think that the farmer's market is a scam.
1658
00:57:56,940 --> 00:57:57,940
Yeah.
1659
00:57:57,940 --> 00:58:00,940
And let me tell you why.
1660
00:58:00,940 --> 00:58:01,940
It is.
1661
00:58:01,940 --> 00:58:02,940
It is.
1662
00:58:02,940 --> 00:58:04,940
It definitely is.
1663
00:58:04,940 --> 00:58:06,940
I decided.
1664
00:58:06,940 --> 00:58:07,940
Okay.
1665
00:58:07,940 --> 00:58:10,940
So this guy I work with Fred, he's been making bread.
1666
00:58:10,940 --> 00:58:17,940
He's like somebody close to him makes sourdough bread, scratch or whatever, whatever.
1667
00:58:17,940 --> 00:58:21,460
And like he's been toasting it at lunchtime.
1668
00:58:21,460 --> 00:58:26,260
And so every time I walk in to get like something out of the lunchroom, it smells like delicious,
1669
00:58:26,260 --> 00:58:29,500
freshly baked sourdough bread.
1670
00:58:29,500 --> 00:58:33,820
And it's like, you know, there's not a lot of smells that are better than like freshly baked.
1671
00:58:33,820 --> 00:58:37,580
Like, oh my God, dude, you try to avoid cars, but you smell bread like that.
1672
00:58:37,580 --> 00:58:38,580
Right.
1673
00:58:38,580 --> 00:58:39,900
There's nothing you can want some of it.
1674
00:58:39,900 --> 00:58:40,900
You got to have it.
1675
00:58:40,900 --> 00:58:42,900
Right.
1676
00:58:42,900 --> 00:58:47,180
And so I'm like, okay, well, man, that sounds good.
1677
00:58:47,180 --> 00:58:50,700
Like I want some freshly baked bread.
1678
00:58:50,700 --> 00:58:55,660
What's the closest place to me where I live that would have those kind of types of items.
1679
00:58:55,660 --> 00:58:55,660
Right.
1680
00:58:55,660 --> 00:59:01,660
And I heard a commercial earlier the week for the South Carolina's upstate farmers market
1681
00:59:01,660 --> 00:59:02,660
or whatever.
1682
00:59:02,660 --> 00:59:06,420
And they're like, it's everything sourced from South Carolina.
1683
00:59:06,420 --> 00:59:09,500
And so you've got to pay more when it's local.
1684
00:59:09,500 --> 00:59:10,500
Wow.
1685
00:59:10,500 --> 00:59:11,500
That's insane.
1686
00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:13,540
Well, I was like, all right, well, you know, I get it.
1687
00:59:13,540 --> 00:59:15,220
Like, but I just need a few things.
1688
00:59:15,220 --> 00:59:19,060
Like I would like to get some asparagus because I was doing steaks that night.
1689
00:59:19,060 --> 00:59:20,060
Right.
1690
00:59:20,060 --> 00:59:21,060
A few other things.
1691
00:59:21,060 --> 00:59:22,660
So I was like, but I can get all those there probably.
1692
00:59:22,660 --> 00:59:23,660
Right.
1693
00:59:23,660 --> 00:59:26,380
I was going to Walmart and get it for a way cheaper.
1694
00:59:26,380 --> 00:59:28,620
You know, and that's fine.
1695
00:59:28,620 --> 00:59:32,260
So I go to the farmers market and you know, it's a busy because Saturday mornings, there's
1696
00:59:32,260 --> 00:59:33,260
like people everywhere.
1697
00:59:33,260 --> 00:59:37,020
And it's not a huge place, not as huge as you think.
1698
00:59:37,020 --> 00:59:42,420
And I grab like some asparagus, some onions, peppers, you know, just like the normal shit.
1699
00:59:42,420 --> 00:59:46,540
And I'm like, Oh, there's the bread, huge mountain bread.
1700
00:59:46,540 --> 00:59:52,300
And it's like grandma's my grandmother's amazing sourdough recipe.
1701
00:59:52,300 --> 00:59:56,820
Bread's humongous, like it's bigger than my, it's gigantic.
1702
00:59:56,820 --> 00:59:58,620
She makes it with her own yeast.
1703
00:59:58,620 --> 01:00:02,140
She does what she's got to do to make you set that.
1704
01:00:02,140 --> 01:00:03,140
I agree.
1705
01:00:03,140 --> 01:00:04,140
You wrote your own somehow.
1706
01:00:04,140 --> 01:00:06,140
And so you got to do it.
1707
01:00:06,140 --> 01:00:07,140
You got to do it.
1708
01:00:07,140 --> 01:00:08,140
You got to do it.
1709
01:00:08,140 --> 01:00:09,140
You got to do it.
1710
01:00:09,140 --> 01:00:10,140
Whether you.
1711
01:00:10,140 --> 01:00:11,140
So I'm like, cool.
1712
01:00:11,140 --> 01:00:12,140
Well, I'm going to get this, I'm going to get this bread.
1713
01:00:12,140 --> 01:00:13,140
This is the kids say.
1714
01:00:13,140 --> 01:00:14,140
And so I got the bread.
1715
01:00:14,140 --> 01:00:15,140
It was $8.50 for a low price.
1716
01:00:15,140 --> 01:00:16,140
I'm going to get this bread.
1717
01:00:16,140 --> 01:00:17,140
I'm going to get this bread.
1718
01:00:17,140 --> 01:00:18,140
This is the kids say.
1719
01:00:18,140 --> 01:00:19,140
Yeah.
1720
01:00:19,140 --> 01:00:20,140
And so I got the bread.
1721
01:00:20,140 --> 01:00:23,700
It was $8.50 for a low for bread.
1722
01:00:23,700 --> 01:00:28,460
But if a grandma baked it, that's not that much more expensive.
1723
01:00:28,460 --> 01:00:29,980
She had a pudding.
1724
01:00:29,980 --> 01:00:30,980
It is more.
1725
01:00:30,980 --> 01:00:36,980
But if you get really fancy bread in the grocery store, you're paying six or eight bucks anyway.
1726
01:00:36,980 --> 01:00:42,900
So if a grandma made it and it's good and fresh and it hits that, it's where I'll worth
1727
01:00:42,900 --> 01:00:43,900
it.
1728
01:00:43,900 --> 01:00:45,580
A-A-R-P-B-R-I-That's right.
1729
01:00:45,580 --> 01:00:46,580
That's what I needed.
1730
01:00:46,580 --> 01:00:49,940
I asked her a senior citizen discount.
1731
01:00:49,940 --> 01:00:50,940
And they're like, what?
1732
01:00:50,940 --> 01:00:55,260
So I got that and I got some asparagus and I was like, this is asparagus.
1733
01:00:55,260 --> 01:00:57,340
Looks all right.
1734
01:00:57,340 --> 01:01:01,060
And so I went and I went to check out and I was like, all right, cool.
1735
01:01:01,060 --> 01:01:05,700
This is going to be, you know, you're always, I don't know about you guys, trying to run,
1736
01:01:05,700 --> 01:01:08,340
like do a running total in my head of bread.
1737
01:01:08,340 --> 01:01:09,340
Yeah.
1738
01:01:09,340 --> 01:01:11,340
Approximately what I have, right?
1739
01:01:11,340 --> 01:01:16,780
And so I'm like, all right, you know, got this bread, like nine bucks, $8.50, whatever.
1740
01:01:16,780 --> 01:01:22,500
Got some onions, peppers, whatever, like some bullshit and some potatoes.
1741
01:01:22,500 --> 01:01:23,500
And here we go.
1742
01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:24,500
And it's asparagus.
1743
01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:29,580
And I was like, dude, dude, dude, dude, come out to like $34.
1744
01:01:29,580 --> 01:01:31,980
And I was like, what the fuck?
1745
01:01:31,980 --> 01:01:33,580
Out of this come out of $34.
1746
01:01:33,580 --> 01:01:34,740
Bread.
1747
01:01:34,740 --> 01:01:37,380
They charged me $10 for asparagus.
1748
01:01:37,380 --> 01:01:38,380
Yeah.
1749
01:01:38,380 --> 01:01:41,060
For a group, a bunch of asparagus.
1750
01:01:41,060 --> 01:01:43,540
But and I'm like, okay, well, you know what?
1751
01:01:43,540 --> 01:01:45,420
I said, this is a mad, I've already paid it.
1752
01:01:45,420 --> 01:01:47,340
There's nothing I can do about it now.
1753
01:01:47,340 --> 01:01:48,340
I'm already like down the road.
1754
01:01:48,340 --> 01:01:49,340
Yeah, I don't want them.
1755
01:01:49,340 --> 01:01:50,340
I don't want them.
1756
01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:51,340
Right in the fuck out.
1757
01:01:51,340 --> 01:01:52,340
Well, I know, because I was like, what?
1758
01:01:52,340 --> 01:01:53,340
And then it was like too late.
1759
01:01:53,340 --> 01:01:56,180
I already put my card where it needed to be.
1760
01:01:56,180 --> 01:01:57,180
Y'all can put this back.
1761
01:01:57,180 --> 01:02:01,220
So, I just want the bread.
1762
01:02:01,220 --> 01:02:03,060
Y'all can put this back.
1763
01:02:03,060 --> 01:02:04,460
So, well, so I was like, damn.
1764
01:02:04,460 --> 01:02:09,100
And then, so I was like, well, that's okay, because you know what, Fred, I'm all about
1765
01:02:09,100 --> 01:02:11,060
giving back to our community, right?
1766
01:02:11,060 --> 01:02:12,060
Yeah.
1767
01:02:12,060 --> 01:02:18,780
So I'm like, well, at least I got asparagus that was made right here in South Carolina.
1768
01:02:18,780 --> 01:02:20,860
Fred, was that Helen?
1769
01:02:20,860 --> 01:02:23,060
It was made in China.
1770
01:02:23,060 --> 01:02:24,780
It was made it built in China.
1771
01:02:24,780 --> 01:02:26,780
It was assembled in China.
1772
01:02:26,780 --> 01:02:30,300
Yeah, but then they had a little label, it's like Lego.
1773
01:02:30,300 --> 01:02:33,820
No, no, actually, you're not as far off as you think, Alan.
1774
01:02:33,820 --> 01:02:38,180
I was like, well, at least like I said, at least in South Carolinian asparagus, like they
1775
01:02:38,180 --> 01:02:45,020
promised on the radio, and it's like, proud product of Peru, right on the side.
1776
01:02:45,020 --> 01:02:48,140
Peru in experience, no.
1777
01:02:48,140 --> 01:02:53,460
Which I could have got a Peru in experience, the asparagus at, like I said, Walmart for like
1778
01:02:53,460 --> 01:02:54,460
a nickel.
1779
01:02:54,460 --> 01:02:57,500
Well, maybe not a nickel, but certainly not $10.
1780
01:02:57,500 --> 01:02:59,620
They're flea market.
1781
01:02:59,620 --> 01:03:00,620
They have.
1782
01:03:00,620 --> 01:03:01,620
That's where I usually go.
1783
01:03:01,620 --> 01:03:05,660
But it was early and I didn't want to drive all the way over there.
1784
01:03:05,660 --> 01:03:09,060
So, dude, the flea market is a spot for groceries.
1785
01:03:09,060 --> 01:03:11,060
That's where you go.
1786
01:03:11,060 --> 01:03:14,780
What is, okay, I'm gonna ask you this, Alan, because I bet you know what this is.
1787
01:03:14,780 --> 01:03:15,980
What is Agua, Fresca?
1788
01:03:15,980 --> 01:03:16,980
I know what it is.
1789
01:03:16,980 --> 01:03:17,980
I know what it is.
1790
01:03:17,980 --> 01:03:20,540
I know it's a drink, a big bucket.
1791
01:03:20,540 --> 01:03:22,260
But what's it made of?
1792
01:03:22,260 --> 01:03:24,060
It's fruit.
1793
01:03:24,060 --> 01:03:25,060
Just fruit.
1794
01:03:25,060 --> 01:03:27,060
Yeah, it's just fruit.
1795
01:03:27,060 --> 01:03:31,460
Oh, is that the one where they cut the fruit up in front of you and give you the bowl
1796
01:03:31,460 --> 01:03:32,460
of fruit?
1797
01:03:32,460 --> 01:03:33,460
No, no, no, no, no.
1798
01:03:33,460 --> 01:03:35,500
What's the one where they have the big jugs?
1799
01:03:35,500 --> 01:03:39,060
And they're like, lugging it around and then they put it in.
1800
01:03:39,060 --> 01:03:41,380
It's basically it's juicely.
1801
01:03:41,380 --> 01:03:44,140
But what's the drink made of?
1802
01:03:44,140 --> 01:03:45,140
It could be anything.
1803
01:03:45,140 --> 01:03:46,380
It's cool, man.
1804
01:03:46,380 --> 01:03:47,380
Is it milk?
1805
01:03:47,380 --> 01:03:50,260
Is it like, well, it could be anything.
1806
01:03:50,260 --> 01:03:53,940
It's like, I had today, I had some of my worth, and it was mango.
1807
01:03:53,940 --> 01:03:56,340
But what, so was it creamy?
1808
01:03:56,340 --> 01:03:57,340
It's thick.
1809
01:03:57,340 --> 01:03:58,340
Okay.
1810
01:03:58,340 --> 01:03:59,340
Was it thick?
1811
01:03:59,340 --> 01:04:00,340
Yeah, that's what I need to know.
1812
01:04:00,340 --> 01:04:01,340
Like on a hot day.
1813
01:04:01,340 --> 01:04:02,340
Ooh, it's thick.
1814
01:04:02,340 --> 01:04:03,340
It's thick.
1815
01:04:03,340 --> 01:04:04,340
Yeah.
1816
01:04:04,340 --> 01:04:06,340
I mean, not thick.
1817
01:04:06,340 --> 01:04:11,460
I mean, it's it's like a soft drink, but it's not soft drink.
1818
01:04:11,460 --> 01:04:15,420
Is it like compared to how sweet is it?
1819
01:04:15,420 --> 01:04:17,420
I can't think of it.
1820
01:04:17,420 --> 01:04:22,060
It's not Gatorade is the other one that's like, thick.
1821
01:04:22,060 --> 01:04:24,780
It's supposed to be like a Gatorade, but it's thick.
1822
01:04:24,780 --> 01:04:25,780
No.
1823
01:04:25,780 --> 01:04:26,780
Outade.
1824
01:04:26,780 --> 01:04:27,780
No, it ain't powder.
1825
01:04:27,780 --> 01:04:28,780
Vitamin water.
1826
01:04:28,780 --> 01:04:29,780
No.
1827
01:04:29,780 --> 01:04:32,300
Vitamin water is thicker than Gatorade.
1828
01:04:32,300 --> 01:04:33,300
It's thicker.
1829
01:04:33,300 --> 01:04:34,300
Why?
1830
01:04:34,300 --> 01:04:36,300
It's like kind of like a body armor.
1831
01:04:36,300 --> 01:04:37,300
Body armor.
1832
01:04:37,300 --> 01:04:38,460
Body armor, that's it.
1833
01:04:38,460 --> 01:04:39,460
Yeah.
1834
01:04:39,460 --> 01:04:40,460
Body armor is thick.
1835
01:04:40,460 --> 01:04:43,260
Yeah, I mean, it's like a body armor.
1836
01:04:43,260 --> 01:04:44,260
Yeah.
1837
01:04:44,260 --> 01:04:45,260
And it depends where you go.
1838
01:04:45,260 --> 01:04:46,260
Some places have a different than others.
1839
01:04:46,260 --> 01:04:47,260
Right.
1840
01:04:47,260 --> 01:04:48,260
Like there's one place in a--
1841
01:04:48,260 --> 01:04:49,260
So boilers, reservoirs.
1842
01:04:49,260 --> 01:04:53,340
There's a place on water, a reservoir that's built good, man.
1843
01:04:53,340 --> 01:04:55,780
I wanted to try that fruit stamp.
1844
01:04:55,780 --> 01:04:57,780
And they had a-- I went in there to--
1845
01:04:57,780 --> 01:04:59,860
I went in there for something.
1846
01:04:59,860 --> 01:05:02,940
And they had to end it up that the meat they get, they get it local.
1847
01:05:02,940 --> 01:05:04,380
It was local farms and shit.
1848
01:05:04,380 --> 01:05:05,380
Yeah.
1849
01:05:05,380 --> 01:05:07,820
And it'll stake dirt cheap on that shit.
1850
01:05:07,820 --> 01:05:08,320
Sure.
1851
01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:09,320
We got to go there.
1852
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:11,820
Well, let's take the show there.
1853
01:05:11,820 --> 01:05:13,820
267th edition.
1854
01:05:13,820 --> 01:05:16,060
Well, they had the-- well, Frick, I was free.
1855
01:05:16,060 --> 01:05:16,820
Oh, there you go.
1856
01:05:16,820 --> 01:05:17,820
I'm in.
1857
01:05:17,820 --> 01:05:18,820
Free-- I was free.
1858
01:05:18,820 --> 01:05:19,820
Yeah, you come in there.
1859
01:05:19,820 --> 01:05:20,820
I'm in there.
1860
01:05:20,820 --> 01:05:21,820
Just running.
1861
01:05:21,820 --> 01:05:22,820
I walked around the store.
1862
01:05:22,820 --> 01:05:23,820
Yeah.
1863
01:05:23,820 --> 01:05:24,820
That's pretty cool.
1864
01:05:24,820 --> 01:05:28,620
That makes person equivalent grocery stores where you can put beer--
1865
01:05:28,620 --> 01:05:29,860
like drink beer while you walk around.
1866
01:05:29,860 --> 01:05:31,860
[LAUGHTER]
1867
01:05:32,860 --> 01:05:34,340
But I'm into that.
1868
01:05:34,340 --> 01:05:35,340
That sounds way better.
1869
01:05:35,340 --> 01:05:37,620
Yeah, yeah.
1870
01:05:37,620 --> 01:05:39,300
All right, guys, we're going to get out of here.
1871
01:05:39,300 --> 01:05:41,940
We're going to get some-- oh, I press guys out on them and say--
1872
01:05:41,940 --> 01:05:44,180
I press guys.
1873
01:05:44,180 --> 01:05:45,180
And--
1874
01:05:45,180 --> 01:05:45,680
Cool.
1875
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:47,220
That's what we're going to do.
1876
01:05:47,220 --> 01:05:48,180
Coolios.
1877
01:05:48,180 --> 01:05:50,340
We'll see you next week with a brand new episode.
1878
01:05:50,340 --> 01:05:51,380
I'm going to try it this week.
1879
01:05:51,380 --> 01:05:52,700
And I'll report back next week.
1880
01:05:52,700 --> 01:05:53,900
You do the same thing, Fred.
1881
01:05:53,900 --> 01:05:54,420
You do that.
1882
01:05:54,420 --> 01:05:55,900
I will.
1883
01:05:55,900 --> 01:05:57,020
We have to now.
1884
01:05:57,020 --> 01:05:57,740
All right.
1885
01:05:57,740 --> 01:05:59,100
First, you do that.
1886
01:05:59,100 --> 01:05:59,860
I will.
1887
01:05:59,860 --> 01:06:00,860
I definitely will.
1888
01:06:00,860 --> 01:06:01,860
I won't do that.
1889
01:06:01,860 --> 01:06:02,860
I won't do that.
1890
01:06:02,860 --> 01:06:04,980
I won't talk about it, but I'll do it.
1891
01:06:04,980 --> 01:06:06,900
He actually answered the question.
1892
01:06:06,900 --> 01:06:08,780
Yeah, he did it himself, yeah.
1893
01:06:08,780 --> 01:06:09,780
Yeah.
1894
01:06:09,780 --> 01:06:10,780
Good job, Brad.
1895
01:06:10,780 --> 01:06:12,260
All you need is an excuse.
1896
01:06:12,260 --> 01:06:14,020
So that happens when you get old, man.
1897
01:06:14,020 --> 01:06:14,540
Yeah.
1898
01:06:14,540 --> 01:06:15,060
So--
1899
01:06:15,060 --> 01:06:16,580
Yeah, there you go.
1900
01:06:16,580 --> 01:06:18,740
All right, well, happy Big 5-O, buddy.
1901
01:06:18,740 --> 01:06:19,540
Thank you, man.
1902
01:06:19,540 --> 01:06:22,260
See you next week on a brand new episode of The Black thing.
1903
01:06:22,260 --> 01:06:23,500
Like The Black Gas.
1904
01:06:23,500 --> 01:06:24,500
Eww.
1905
01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:25,500
Yes, Eww.
1906
01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:26,500
Yes, Eww.
1907
01:06:26,500 --> 01:06:27,500
We are from a family.
1908
01:06:27,500 --> 01:06:28,340
Yes.
1909
01:06:28,340 --> 01:06:29,140
Good vibes.
1910
01:06:29,140 --> 01:06:31,140
We're having a special moment.
1911
01:06:31,140 --> 01:06:33,140
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1912
01:06:33,140 --> 01:06:47,780
That's it, man.
1913
01:06:47,780 --> 01:06:49,020
Game over, man.
1914
01:06:49,020 --> 01:06:50,860
Game over.
1915
01:06:50,860 --> 01:06:52,380
Just hang loose, blood.
1916
01:06:52,380 --> 01:06:54,780
She's going to catch up on the rebar, and then there's a--
1917
01:06:54,780 --> 01:06:55,780
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1918
01:06:55,780 --> 01:06:57,780
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1919
01:06:57,780 --> 01:06:59,780
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1920
01:06:59,780 --> 01:07:01,780
Oh, what a baby.
1921
01:07:01,780 --> 01:07:02,780
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1922
01:07:02,780 --> 01:07:04,780
Come home, what is it?
1923
01:07:04,780 --> 01:07:05,780
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1924
01:07:05,780 --> 01:07:07,780
Well, thanks all, folks.
1925
01:07:07,780 --> 01:07:09,780
I still have Easter, baby.
1926
01:07:09,780 --> 01:07:10,780
God damn it.
1927
01:07:10,780 --> 01:07:11,780
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1928
01:07:11,780 --> 01:07:13,780
You can see God damn it.
1929
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:14,780
I don't worry.
1930
01:07:14,780 --> 01:07:15,780
Nobody's listening anyway.
1931
01:07:15,780 --> 01:07:19,180
As you know, I'm a man of special needs.
1932
01:07:19,180 --> 01:07:20,660
Surely you can be serious.
1933
01:07:20,660 --> 01:07:21,860
I am serious.
1934
01:07:21,860 --> 01:07:23,500
And don't call me surely.
1935
01:07:23,500 --> 01:07:25,500
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1936
01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:27,500
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1937
01:07:27,500 --> 01:07:29,500
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1938
01:07:29,500 --> 01:07:31,500
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1939
01:07:31,500 --> 01:07:33,500
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1940
01:07:33,500 --> 01:07:35,500
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1941
01:07:35,500 --> 01:07:45,500
[BLANK_AUDIO]