Black Lincoln Collective Podcast

Unfiltered Farts | Black Lincoln Collective Comedy Podcast

Episode Summary

This week, on a panic-inducing new episode of the BLC Podcast, it's cicada season here in the south and we're freaking out! Fred wants to watch a serial killer documentary, and we get to the bottom of the guy who was really responsible for the OJ Murders. Then it's all about COPS, Court TV and Fred's hijinks in the clink. We're chatting about fighting the law, and Fred won, then lost. Nosy Neighbors, and 7 little Johnsons, I mean Johnstons. We're talking about the real social media apps, prison hacks and Fred's longtime hatred of Silk. Then it's finally time for World Wide WHHAATTT??? Where we tackle Cicadas, nude cruisers, and restaurants catfishing (not long john silvers this time). All that and so much more, only on the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast.

Episode Notes

This week, on a panic-inducing new episode of the BLC Podcast, it's cicada season here in the south and we're freaking out! Fred wants to watch a serial killer documentary, and we get to the bottom of the guy who was really responsible for the OJ Murders. Then it's all about COPS, Court TV and Fred's hijinks in the clink. We're chatting about fighting the law, and Fred won, then lost. Nosy Neighbors, and 7 little Johnsons, I mean Johnstons. We're talking about the real social media apps, prison hacks and Fred's longtime hatred of Silk. Then it's finally time for World Wide WHHAATTT??? Where we tackle Cicadas, nude cruisers, and restaurants catfishing (not long john silvers this time). All that and so much more, only on the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast. 

Episode Transcription

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>> Parker: What are we gonna talk about? Fasten your seat belts.

 

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>> Freddy: It's going to be a bumpy night.

 

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Alive. It's

 

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alive. It's

 

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alive.

 

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>> Parker: Welcome to the Black Lincoln Collective

 

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podcast.

 

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>> Freddy: Oh, this is gonna be fun. We can stay up late swapping

 

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man list stars in the morning.

 

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>> Parker: I'm making pop

 

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with your host, Archer,

 

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featuring the sultry sounds of Fred and also

 

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Ellen on the board.

 

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>> Freddy: Let's go already.

 

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>> Parker: And now, let's start.

 

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>> Freddy: Welcome.

 

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>> Parker: Welcome, one and all to the 140th edition

 

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of the Black Lincoln Collective podcast.

 

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Now, Alan, I got a joke for you to start this one off. All right?

 

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What has six arms, six balls,

 

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and no plan whatsoever? That's right. Our

 

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show. We might have less than six balls.

 

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I don't know. We're so glad you joined us, and.

 

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>> Freddy: We can't thank you enough for your last one.

 

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>> Parker: Hey, it's going to happen, you know, six.

 

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Six arms, five balls. Yeah. Two

 

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scrotums, and that's the end. We can't thank you enough

 

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for your support on X, Facebook, Instagram, and our tick

 

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tock. Oh, yeah, X. That's right. You can always check us

 

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out@blcpodcast.com and listen to us every day

 

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on your favorite podcast platform. And now,

 

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oh, yeah, don't forget to like and review the show and

 

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tell us things about

 

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it you want us to talk about. If you want to get

 

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our wild takes, whatever

 

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bakes your bread, then

 

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just cuddles your nuts. Yeah, whatever

 

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cuddles your nuts, as Fred would say.

 

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That's right. Whatever tweaks your dicks.

 

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>> Freddy: Nipples.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah. There you go.

 

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>> Freddy: Thank you for, uh. If you

 

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did, I didn't get a chance to.

 

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Okay, well, sorry.

 

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>> Parker: You're not welcome, Fred, but welcome to the show.

 

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Now, Fred.

 

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>> Freddy: Now.

 

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>> Parker: You're welcome.

 

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>> Freddy: Thank you, man. I appreciate it.

 

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As always, I'd like to welcome Alan. Okay.

 

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>> Parker: That's me.

 

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>> Freddy: That's right.

 

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>> Parker: Going on forever. Alan is finally back from his

 

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worldwide vacation to Florida.

 

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Yes.

 

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>> Freddy: Well,

 

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world.

 

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>> Parker: He could.

 

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>> Freddy: Yeah. You made it out.

 

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>> Parker: No gators. Gotcha.

 

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>> Freddy: No.

 

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>> Parker: Um. That's pretty good.

 

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>> Freddy: The PTSD.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah. I mean, uh, they may get me next to it. I don't even know what that

 

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means. You never know. I was in

 

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Florida, so, you know. Right.

 

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>> Freddy: But you're about.

 

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>> Parker: STD that you got to worry about,

 

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so. And he got plenty of those. He got. He ordered

 

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the variety pack.

 

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Welcome back. We're so glad you joined us, Alan. I

 

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guess. And you know everybody else, too.

 

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So, Fred.

 

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>> Freddy: What?

 

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>> Parker: This week, buddy.

 

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>> Freddy: Man, I'm telling you, man, this is. This is something that

 

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has gotten me, uh, uh. And I want you to look it up.

 

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I had. I've been trying to watch this

 

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documentary, and it's called my. My

 

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brother is a serial killer.

 

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>> Parker: My brother. I don't want to type that.

 

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>> Freddy: No,

 

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your algorithm is messed up.

 

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>> Parker: Well, technically, Parker's brother may be one, or.

 

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I don't have a brother. Oh, yeah.

 

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Yes, that brother.

 

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>> Freddy: So evidently this dude

 

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was a convicted and found.

 

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My brother is a

 

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serial killer.

 

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>> Parker: Is my brother the serial killer?

 

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>> Freddy: The serial killer. Okay. The serial killer.

 

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So, like, it's on Amazon and I want to watch it, but I

 

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can't watch it. Like,

 

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I don't know, like, Amazon won't.

 

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>> Parker: It's like, oh, it's currently

 

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available to.

 

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>> Freddy: Watch, but I have, like, a

 

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conspiracy behind it. Um,

 

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this guy, like I said, he's serial

 

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killer. He confessed to

 

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killing Nicole Brown.

 

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>> Parker: I see that.

 

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>> Freddy: And Ryan Goldman, and it was

 

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never brought up.

 

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>> Parker: Uh, what, so is the guy's name OJ

 

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guys name is Rogers. And we don't usually

 

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give, uh, you know, we don't want to give the terrorists.

 

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Anyway. Time out, time out. Time out. Time out town.

 

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So this guy says he killed

 

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Nicole Brown Simpson and, um, seven.

 

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>> Freddy: And he was her gardener.

 

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>> Parker: So we can't watch this

 

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because.

 

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>> Freddy: I can't watch it because it won't let.

 

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>> Parker: Amazon won't let you watch it.

 

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Was it currently unavailable in the States? It's not currently

 

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unavailable on Vimeo because that means you can

 

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get

 

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VPN and change. You put it back. You live

 

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in Canada. He doesn't know how to VPN stuff. Oh,

 

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he just called Venmo Vimy. Or you called whatever.

 

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>> Freddy: That's me.

 

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>> Parker: I call it Vivian. Yeah, you all both call it stupid things.

 

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Yes. You can watch it on Vimeo if you'd

 

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like. It's Venmo. It's not.

 

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It's Venmo. Are you listening,

 

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Penny? It's Venmo.

 

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Call it out. Get her. Get her. Welcome

 

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to the show.

 

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So, well, yeah, so apparently it's about this dude.

 

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Like I said, G Raj, also known as. As the

 

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cross country killer.

 

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And he was convicted of two murders, armed robbery and

 

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arson in the nineties in Florida and California. However,

 

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he is. Yeah, he said,

 

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there's a lot to read about this dude says

 

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he killed 70 people.

 

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>> Freddy: 70 people.

 

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>> Parker: And including, like you said, nicole Brown Simpson and Ron

 

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Goldman.

 

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>> Freddy: Mm mhm hmm.

 

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>> Parker: And he still.

 

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Yeah, I mean, the documentary

 

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is them investigating the claims

 

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that he killed them.

 

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>> Freddy: Right.

 

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>> Parker: So it's all about that, you know, m

 

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like.

 

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>> Freddy: And people listening. I'm pretty sure

 

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this is the first place you've heard this.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah. And, uh. Okay, so in years long. Let me give you a little

 

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snippet of it. Okay. This is gonna fall.

 

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Threads Fred's conspiracy corner, I'm

 

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afraid, in this year. In this year long.

 

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Okay, hold on. Okay. So

 

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Anthony Mioli. Rogers later spoke to a

 

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criminal profile named Anthony Mioli about the Goldman Simpson

 

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murders, providing details about the crime and remarking

 

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that he had been hired by OJ to steal

 

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a pair of earrings and potentially murder

 

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Nicole. In his years long

 

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correspondence, beginning in 2009 with Miolas, the

 

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investigator, uh, Siraj wrote about

 

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and created paintings pointing towards his involvement with the murders.

 

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He painted his scene

 

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during. During a personal prison meeting between the

 

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two. Rogers said he was hired by OJ to break into Brown's

 

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house and steal some expensive jewelry. And then

 

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Simpson told her, quote, or, uh, told him, quote, you

 

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may have to kill the bitch. As

 

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it. As it investigates claims by Rogers, the

 

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Rogers family, that Glenn Rogers behind the murders, it

 

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includes a filmed interview with his brother Clay, where Clay

 

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asserts his brother confessed his involvement multiple times

 

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and says, yeah, he had been working for Nicole

 

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Brown Simpson since 19 in 1994,

 

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and he had made verbal threats about her to his

 

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family. So there you

 

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go. And it says he even had details about the crime

 

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and all this other stuff that they didn't

 

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take into account where all this shit's happening.

 

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Oh, I don't. I didn't remember.

 

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I remember her name and I just said it.

 

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>> Freddy: Um, that's how Nancy Grace got her story.

 

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>> Parker: Yes. Oh, really

 

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gives any takes.

 

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R I p, buddy. Dude, if I

 

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make. Actually, OJ trial is what started court tv.

 

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And, yeah, it arguably started the reality tv

 

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show that now live in,

 

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besides the people's court.

 

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>> Freddy: People's court was before then,

 

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like, court tv was 24 hours.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah. Yeah.

 

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>> Freddy: That's crazy how, like, that's such a big genre, like

 

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court tv.

 

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>> Parker: Love that. In trouble,

 

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right?

 

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>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

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>> Parker: And then they're like, I didn't get caught. Thank God I didn't get

 

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caught. It's true, man.

 

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Idiot.

 

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No, every crime I've committed afterwards, I

 

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was like, oh, that was close. Could have been on cops any minute.

 

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Allegedly. Well, you know, and then they had. Well, yeah, allegedly.

 

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Allegedly attempted to, uh, do.

 

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I'm m writing myself into a worse crime than I've ever committed

 

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as a kill do murder. Uh, no, that's like,

 

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what was it. What was that cop show that was on in

 

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Greenville? Um.

 

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>> Freddy: Oh.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah.

 

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>> Freddy: I used to ride around on life.

 

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>> Parker: I was gonna say, I bet you there are people riding around, like, looking for those

 

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dudes I work

 

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on there in Columbia? And they were following

 

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him, and they brought the tires out of his truck,

 

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and he was going down the road, and they arrested him. And

 

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the next Monday, man, he was like, man, my dad was on tv.

 

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>> Freddy: You guys weren't lighted?

 

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Yeah. He's, like, all excited

 

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right now, man.

 

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>> Parker: That is street

 

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Martha Stewart every Sunday

 

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night, man. You watch cops. Was

 

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it after.

 

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>> Freddy: Before what I thought, what I thought was weird. Like,

 

229

00:10:15,272 --> 00:10:16,232

when I did.

 

230

00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:19,262

>> Parker: Yeah, it was a seven to eight, and then the

 

231

00:10:19,278 --> 00:10:20,262

Simpson started. Eight.

 

232

00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:23,062

>> Freddy: Yeah, when I. When I did my little, uh, beard or

 

233

00:10:23,078 --> 00:10:25,606

whatever, like, that was like a main thing, too.

 

234

00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:28,478

Like Court

 

235

00:10:28,526 --> 00:10:31,510

tv and cops and shit, man, I'm like, you were watching

 

236

00:10:31,542 --> 00:10:32,514

that in prison.

 

237

00:10:33,134 --> 00:10:35,966

>> Parker: Yeah, I get that, man. I

 

238

00:10:35,990 --> 00:10:36,834

get that.

 

239

00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:40,394

Okay, well, okay, so look, let me.

 

240

00:10:41,334 --> 00:10:44,030

So here's what this is. The equivalent, okay. Right. Um.

 

241

00:10:45,134 --> 00:10:47,954

So this weekend, over the. Over this past weekend,

 

242

00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:50,930

uh, or weekend before last, I guess, now was the NFL

 

243

00:10:50,962 --> 00:10:53,882

draft, right? So every player, every

 

244

00:10:53,938 --> 00:10:56,882

fan of a team wanted to see what player was going to be on

 

245

00:10:56,898 --> 00:10:59,762

their team. So I'm sure all the prisoners were like,

 

246

00:10:59,858 --> 00:11:02,690

let's see the new who's coming in next? Who's the

 

247

00:11:02,722 --> 00:11:05,442

rookie? Like, all that dumb son of a bitch.

 

248

00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:05,850

>> Freddy: You did that.

 

249

00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:08,626

>> Parker: I can't wait to get up here. That's the

 

250

00:11:08,650 --> 00:11:09,694

draft for them.

 

251

00:11:13,274 --> 00:11:16,274

They do it to be like, they'd be running and the camera would just turn

 

252

00:11:16,314 --> 00:11:18,938

black, and they'd be like. And the guy's like,

 

253

00:11:19,066 --> 00:11:20,370

blue, all bloody.

 

254

00:11:20,442 --> 00:11:21,370

>> Freddy: He fell.

 

255

00:11:21,522 --> 00:11:24,442

>> Parker: Yeah, yeah. Or, like, run a. Catch him up. Catch up to

 

256

00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:27,138

him eventually and be like, nothing to see here, guys.

 

257

00:11:27,266 --> 00:11:29,874

>> Freddy: What I saw one time was, uh, this dude was

 

258

00:11:29,914 --> 00:11:32,698

running, and the cop that was chasing him had

 

259

00:11:32,746 --> 00:11:35,610

one leg, and he caught

 

260

00:11:35,642 --> 00:11:36,214

him.

 

261

00:11:36,674 --> 00:11:37,146

>> Parker: Wow.

 

262

00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:40,210

>> Freddy: Like, he caught him. You, like, he tried to hop over

 

263

00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,998

a fence, and he's like, finally.

 

264

00:11:43,126 --> 00:11:44,914

>> Parker: Yeah, I've been training.

 

265

00:11:46,614 --> 00:11:49,374

He's like, on the open field. I can't catch up to him.

 

266

00:11:49,454 --> 00:11:52,278

But if it's jumping over a fence with the one you have

 

267

00:11:52,286 --> 00:11:54,954

to your other leg. I got this motherboard.

 

268

00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:02,114

Uh, movie would run runny run. Yeah.

 

269

00:12:03,774 --> 00:12:06,714

Based on that shit, you know, I ran from the cops.

 

270

00:12:07,674 --> 00:12:10,178

>> Freddy: There was one guy who hid up under the kiddie pool.

 

271

00:12:10,266 --> 00:12:13,162

>> Parker: Yeah. Yeah. At

 

272

00:12:13,178 --> 00:12:14,054

the beginning.

 

273

00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,534

So he went that way.

 

274

00:12:24,314 --> 00:12:27,186

That's so funny. But then you see, like, have you. I'm sure you've seen it, too, where they're,

 

275

00:12:27,210 --> 00:12:30,130

like, the opposite of that, where it's, like, people, some dudes being

 

276

00:12:30,162 --> 00:12:32,946

chased by the cops or whatever. And then he, like, turns the

 

277

00:12:32,970 --> 00:12:35,882

corner and, like, starts walking. Just, like, turns around, starts walking

 

278

00:12:35,898 --> 00:12:38,650

the opposite way, and the cops are m. Like, uh,

 

279

00:12:38,754 --> 00:12:41,538

the other way. And he's like, yeah,

 

280

00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:44,466

you know what? I'm not. Okay. I'm not in

 

281

00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:47,074

favor of people who do crimes getting away with it.

 

282

00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:49,860

Right. But I do feel like you, uh.

 

283

00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:52,730

Well, yeah. And that's just gonna say, I feel like if it's, like, a minor

 

284

00:12:52,802 --> 00:12:55,802

crime, like, nobody gets hurt or anything like that, and you

 

285

00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:58,762

can outsmart the cops. Yes. You

 

286

00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,610

should get away with that. You should be like, you know what?

 

287

00:13:00,642 --> 00:13:02,492

>> Freddy: One for me saw that.

 

288

00:13:02,628 --> 00:13:04,664

>> Parker: Because, you know, if you get caught, you're done.

 

289

00:13:05,564 --> 00:13:08,444

>> Freddy: I saw do, uh, this was, like, on

 

290

00:13:08,604 --> 00:13:11,516

clip, uh, on the Internet or whatever. Dude was being chased

 

291

00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:14,460

by the police in the car and

 

292

00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:17,260

whips a corner, and as the car

 

293

00:13:17,332 --> 00:13:19,944

is, like, turning, he hops out and, yeah,

 

294

00:13:20,404 --> 00:13:23,276

walks the opposite way. Just walks away, and the police,

 

295

00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:25,948

like, just run down the car. Yeah,

 

296

00:13:26,116 --> 00:13:28,826

he hopped out. So smart thing, man.

 

297

00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:31,758

Like, smart move. I was like, yeah, go ahead. You. You. You

 

298

00:13:31,846 --> 00:13:32,918

deserve that one.

 

299

00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,494

>> Parker: Yeah. Like, that's one for the good guy or the bad guys.

 

300

00:13:35,614 --> 00:13:37,078

>> Freddy: One get out of jail free car.

 

301

00:13:37,126 --> 00:13:40,006

>> Parker: But that might be his move.

 

302

00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:42,854

That guy could be like, he could be the best cars, even the world. That's his move.

 

303

00:13:42,894 --> 00:13:45,782

Every time I do, I just steal the cars and then I spin

 

304

00:13:45,798 --> 00:13:46,974

them out and step up.

 

305

00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:50,022

>> Freddy: I did that one time. Uh, I remember me and some friends

 

306

00:13:50,078 --> 00:13:52,606

were riding around, and I'm not. I'm not proud

 

307

00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:55,132

of allegedly, you

 

308

00:13:55,148 --> 00:13:56,500

know, feed.

 

309

00:13:56,532 --> 00:13:57,836

>> Parker: Did that not Fred feed.

 

310

00:13:57,940 --> 00:13:58,584

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

311

00:14:04,724 --> 00:14:07,476

And, like, I didn't have a

 

312

00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:10,476

license at this time, you know, I mean, and, like, if. If

 

313

00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,984

I got pulled over out of what? Jail for short.

 

314

00:14:13,684 --> 00:14:16,356

So, like, we're riding down the road, and

 

315

00:14:16,380 --> 00:14:19,044

then a cop passes

 

316

00:14:19,084 --> 00:14:20,684

me, you know, I'm going this way.

 

317

00:14:20,724 --> 00:14:23,622

Copy. And I see in the rearview

 

318

00:14:23,678 --> 00:14:26,470

mirror that they turned around, and I was

 

319

00:14:26,502 --> 00:14:29,326

like, fuck. So I gunned it. Yeah. I mean,

 

320

00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,974

I gunned it and, like, whipped into this

 

321

00:14:32,014 --> 00:14:34,614

apartment complex that I knew about. Like,

 

322

00:14:34,734 --> 00:14:37,614

and the, um, the parking lot was

 

323

00:14:37,654 --> 00:14:40,646

like, you go in, you take a right, you take a left, you take a

 

324

00:14:40,670 --> 00:14:43,606

right. Yeah, I'm saying, it was, like, very weavy. Yeah. So

 

325

00:14:43,630 --> 00:14:46,574

I was like, maybe I could dip in, hit a parking spot

 

326

00:14:46,614 --> 00:14:49,430

and turn my lights out, right? And so I did

 

327

00:14:49,462 --> 00:14:52,260

that shit. But they, bam. She got in right

 

328

00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:55,276

behind me anyway, and I was like, oh, shit. And I

 

329

00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,340

hopped out the car.

 

330

00:14:56,492 --> 00:14:59,244

And my senses, I don't know, must have been so

 

331

00:14:59,284 --> 00:15:02,012

heightened that I heard, like, an

 

332

00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,860

argument from a

 

333

00:15:04,892 --> 00:15:07,556

balcony, like, in the apartment. Like,

 

334

00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:10,396

the guy and a girl arguing, and the

 

335

00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:11,644

cops like, what are you doing?

 

336

00:15:11,724 --> 00:15:12,140

>> Parker: Freeze.

 

337

00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:15,156

>> Freddy: Don't move. I was like, I'm sorry, officer. My friend called me. She

 

338

00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:17,652

said her boyfriend was whipping her ass. You know what I'm

 

339

00:15:17,668 --> 00:15:18,224

saying?

 

340

00:15:22,404 --> 00:15:25,300

Cop goes, you stay right

 

341

00:15:25,332 --> 00:15:27,944

there. Y'all gotta go.

 

342

00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,104

>> Parker: Yeah, that car you took off

 

343

00:15:34,804 --> 00:15:37,716

that poor dude. That dude was up there like, no, I just

 

344

00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:40,676

said I didn't want cheese on my burger. I just didn't want cheese

 

345

00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:43,628

on it. And she's like, you're under arrest, motherfucker. They were watching

 

346

00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:44,384

wrestling.

 

347

00:15:45,324 --> 00:15:48,180

>> Freddy: Three people that were with me in the car, just, like, shell

 

348

00:15:48,212 --> 00:15:50,756

shocked. They don't know what the fuck was going on.

 

349

00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:52,462

>> Parker: That's one point for you.

 

350

00:15:52,588 --> 00:15:55,562

>> Freddy: Yeah, you can

 

351

00:15:55,578 --> 00:15:56,042

get out of it.

 

352

00:15:56,058 --> 00:15:57,894

>> Parker: You earned it. And you didn't hurt anybody.

 

353

00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:01,514

>> Freddy: No, I went straight home after

 

354

00:16:01,554 --> 00:16:02,134

that.

 

355

00:16:02,474 --> 00:16:04,194

>> Parker: And never did another crime again.

 

356

00:16:04,314 --> 00:16:06,658

>> Freddy: Never did another crime again, exactly.

 

357

00:16:06,746 --> 00:16:09,746

>> Parker: Allegedly. Well, you can say when

 

358

00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:12,334

you didn't do it, you have to say allegedly.

 

359

00:16:13,114 --> 00:16:14,454

I didn't do it.

 

360

00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:18,290

>> Freddy: Uh.

 

361

00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:24,630

>> Parker: That'S. Yeah, there was a bunch of other

 

362

00:16:24,662 --> 00:16:25,862

alleged things that happened there.

 

363

00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,154

>> Freddy: Yeah. Oh, man, that's so much shit.

 

364

00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:31,114

But those days are behind

 

365

00:16:33,014 --> 00:16:33,446

when our.

 

366

00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:36,094

>> Parker: Kids grow up and listen to the show eventually, like, they were like, they really

 

367

00:16:36,134 --> 00:16:38,850

will. They're gonna be like, wow, dad did that, huh?

 

368

00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:41,494

Huh? Serial killer.

 

369

00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,262

Cool. Allegedly.

 

370

00:16:44,358 --> 00:16:44,750

>> Freddy: Yes.

 

371

00:16:44,822 --> 00:16:47,662

>> Parker: I used to allegedly do that a lot too. Yeah, we

 

372

00:16:47,678 --> 00:16:49,354

know. We're well aware of that.

 

373

00:16:55,064 --> 00:16:57,768

Back when you could get away with things like

 

374

00:16:57,816 --> 00:16:58,404

that.

 

375

00:17:00,864 --> 00:17:02,776

>> Freddy: Really? You can't get away with stuff, man.

 

376

00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,684

>> Parker: You can't feel bad for my kids. Like,

 

377

00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:09,324

when I was.

 

378

00:17:11,384 --> 00:17:12,336

>> Freddy: Too far.

 

379

00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,408

>> Parker: Yep, it's true. It's true. And there's also

 

380

00:17:15,456 --> 00:17:18,322

all these, like, these social apps, like, next door or

 

381

00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:21,146

whatever, where it's like, did, uh, you see somebody. It's

 

382

00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:23,786

always some old lady. Did you see somebody walking through our neighborhood

 

383

00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,734

yesterday? And they're like,

 

384

00:17:26,794 --> 00:17:29,530

oh, yeah. You know, I live in a neighborhood.

 

385

00:17:29,602 --> 00:17:31,978

This place is full. This was full of rats.

 

386

00:17:32,026 --> 00:17:34,954

Now, I saw one

 

387

00:17:34,994 --> 00:17:37,890

today. I saw one today. The lady's

 

388

00:17:37,922 --> 00:17:40,786

like, who are these kids? Or it might have been a lady. I don't

 

389

00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,782

know. This person was like, who do these kids think they

 

390

00:17:43,798 --> 00:17:46,582

are? Walking on my driveway, there's a picture of three kids.

 

391

00:17:46,638 --> 00:17:48,702

Like, teenage, like, young teenage kids just walking.

 

392

00:17:48,798 --> 00:17:49,606

>> Freddy: Just walking.

 

393

00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:52,662

>> Parker: And she's like, who do they think they are? Blah, blah, blah. This has got to

 

394

00:17:52,678 --> 00:17:55,100

stop. And I'm like, what is wrong with you people, man?

 

395

00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:58,094

M. It's

 

396

00:17:58,134 --> 00:18:00,154

crazy, but it's all something like,

 

397

00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:03,730

like, every friggin day. It's like that.

 

398

00:18:03,730 --> 00:18:06,422

>> Freddy: Um, and, you know, back in the day that wasn't.

 

399

00:18:06,558 --> 00:18:09,536

There was always, like, one neighbor who was like that.

 

400

00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:10,676

>> Parker: Sure, sure. Yeah.

 

401

00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:13,580

>> Freddy: I'm saying it was always just like, the one guy in the

 

402

00:18:13,612 --> 00:18:16,572

neighborhood or old woman in the neighborhood, and

 

403

00:18:16,588 --> 00:18:17,124

that was fine.

 

404

00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:18,424

>> Parker: You knew who he was.

 

405

00:18:19,804 --> 00:18:22,348

>> Freddy: You did stay off the lawn or whatever.

 

406

00:18:22,396 --> 00:18:24,464

Yummy. But, like,

 

407

00:18:25,524 --> 00:18:27,956

all of them, man. Uh, it's all now.

 

408

00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:29,104

>> Parker: You don't know.

 

409

00:18:29,724 --> 00:18:30,464

>> Freddy: Right?

 

410

00:18:31,804 --> 00:18:33,260

>> Parker: They are anonymous about it.

 

411

00:18:33,292 --> 00:18:33,812

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

412

00:18:33,948 --> 00:18:36,784

>> Parker: And they all have cameras so they can catch you doing whatever.

 

413

00:18:37,954 --> 00:18:40,682

Telling you, man, it's crazy.

 

414

00:18:40,778 --> 00:18:43,698

Yeah, no, I feel the same way. Like I said, I used to be, there used to

 

415

00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:46,466

be this thing that people would say called boys would be

 

416

00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:47,074

boys.

 

417

00:18:47,234 --> 00:18:47,690

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

418

00:18:47,762 --> 00:18:50,350

>> Parker: They're like, oh, okay. So they're gonna fuck around. That's fine.

 

419

00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:50,530

>> Freddy: Uh.

 

420

00:18:53,794 --> 00:18:56,374

>> Parker: Here we go. Here we go. With Alan on his thing.

 

421

00:18:56,954 --> 00:18:59,898

I don't care. You know that. I know. I'm aware.

 

422

00:18:59,986 --> 00:19:01,614

I'm aware of that, Alan.

 

423

00:19:03,594 --> 00:19:06,530

I mean, everybody, everybody's a snitch now, and nobody knows

 

424

00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,574

who the snitch is before

 

425

00:19:09,914 --> 00:19:12,850

you. Like when the old people, like the. Not the old people,

 

426

00:19:12,882 --> 00:19:15,722

the adults which snitch on you. If you were in the

 

427

00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,306

park smoking weed, and they'd call your

 

428

00:19:18,330 --> 00:19:21,274

parents, you know, when you got home, your parents would be like, hey, neighbor.

 

429

00:19:21,314 --> 00:19:23,694

Such as saw you smoking weed and called.

 

430

00:19:24,354 --> 00:19:26,614

Yeah, now it's cops. Yeah,

 

431

00:19:27,314 --> 00:19:30,314

now it's like somebody smoking weed is like,

 

432

00:19:30,354 --> 00:19:32,554

who was it? Somebody did.

 

433

00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:35,162

>> Freddy: Yeah. Uh, they said it on the

 

434

00:19:35,178 --> 00:19:36,082

neighborhood.

 

435

00:19:36,178 --> 00:19:37,714

>> Parker: Yeah, exactly. That's on the neighborhood.

 

436

00:19:37,754 --> 00:19:38,454

>> Freddy: At me.

 

437

00:19:40,794 --> 00:19:43,094

>> Parker: You hitting, you know,

 

438

00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:46,394

couldn't afford weeds. You had that little roach, and that little

 

439

00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:48,334

roach would just get you high as fuck.

 

440

00:19:49,954 --> 00:19:52,770

Don't do drugs, kids. Allegedly. Specifically, my

 

441

00:19:52,802 --> 00:19:54,010

kids don't do drugs.

 

442

00:19:54,122 --> 00:19:56,698

>> Freddy: It was the accumulation of my mother's roaches.

 

443

00:19:56,826 --> 00:19:57,494

>> Parker: Right?

 

444

00:19:58,554 --> 00:20:01,530

>> Freddy: Like five or six roaches out. Like, if you're like, shake

 

445

00:20:01,562 --> 00:20:02,814

or notice that one.

 

446

00:20:05,674 --> 00:20:08,626

>> Parker: Just take the stuff out of it. You can't smoke it. It'd be. Because

 

447

00:20:08,650 --> 00:20:11,374

it's so smelly. I'll just eat it. It'll do the same thing.

 

448

00:20:12,674 --> 00:20:15,610

>> Freddy: Those are real edibles. Before they had

 

449

00:20:15,642 --> 00:20:16,130

edibles.

 

450

00:20:16,202 --> 00:20:18,970

>> Parker: Once again, kids don't do drugs. Don't do drugs. Yeah,

 

451

00:20:19,042 --> 00:20:22,026

allegedly. Speaking of kids, that's all. Allegedly. That reminds

 

452

00:20:22,050 --> 00:20:24,214

me of the sponsor of tonight's show, Alan.

 

453

00:20:24,754 --> 00:20:27,642

Yeah, no, it's great. This is a good one. Uh, Alan, are

 

454

00:20:27,658 --> 00:20:30,090

you ready? I know you love television,

 

455

00:20:30,242 --> 00:20:33,054

right? You love things that are on the

 

456

00:20:33,474 --> 00:20:36,426

Max channel, which is

 

457

00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:38,746

a, you know, TLC and

 

458

00:20:38,890 --> 00:20:41,654

discovery and all that other stuff. Well, Alan,

 

459

00:20:42,144 --> 00:20:44,992

hold on to your biscuits because it's finally time

 

460

00:20:45,128 --> 00:20:48,040

for season 14 of the seven

 

461

00:20:48,112 --> 00:20:49,444

little Johnstons.

 

462

00:20:49,984 --> 00:20:52,640

All right. The seven little

 

463

00:20:52,672 --> 00:20:55,204

Johnstons, only available on TLC,

 

464

00:20:55,904 --> 00:20:58,504

they are the subjects of a reality documentary

 

465

00:20:58,664 --> 00:21:01,360

series known as the World, or the world's largest known

 

466

00:21:01,392 --> 00:21:03,936

family of achondroplastia

 

467

00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,848

dwarfs. So there's seven of them. They're

 

468

00:21:06,896 --> 00:21:09,328

little. And there's Johnston's everywhere.

 

469

00:21:09,456 --> 00:21:10,696

>> Freddy: So is it Snow White?

 

470

00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,680

>> Parker: Yeah. There's seven dwarfs. Yeah. Yeah. That's what the. But these are the seven

 

471

00:21:13,712 --> 00:21:16,712

little Johnstons, which, when I read this, when they initially

 

472

00:21:16,768 --> 00:21:18,880

approached us, I swore it was said seven little

 

473

00:21:18,912 --> 00:21:21,856

Johnsons. And I was like, I would love to

 

474

00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,364

watch the micro penis show.

 

475

00:21:25,344 --> 00:21:28,336

Like, if we follow seven men as they fail

 

476

00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:29,804

to do it.

 

477

00:21:32,104 --> 00:21:35,056

>> Freddy: The daily lives of having small cocks,

 

478

00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:35,924

of having.

 

479

00:21:36,424 --> 00:21:37,924

>> Parker: Little to no penis.

 

480

00:21:38,584 --> 00:21:41,564

>> Freddy: You don't know how hard it is being small, man.

 

481

00:21:42,664 --> 00:21:45,644

>> Parker: Literally, how hard is the problem? Exactly.

 

482

00:21:46,064 --> 00:21:47,644

>> Freddy: I don't have the confidence.

 

483

00:21:48,824 --> 00:21:51,684

>> Parker: The confidence. Confidence.

 

484

00:21:52,104 --> 00:21:54,632

The riz. The Riz. Actually, Fred, is what they're

 

485

00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:57,352

calling you don't know how hard.

 

486

00:21:57,488 --> 00:21:59,764

You don't know how hard it is to have

 

487

00:22:00,984 --> 00:22:03,928

an innie go to the bar

 

488

00:22:03,976 --> 00:22:06,952

and nobody notices. You cannot be dancing

 

489

00:22:07,048 --> 00:22:09,882

and people don't notice that. They trip over me and I'd be like,

 

490

00:22:09,898 --> 00:22:12,334

oh, I'm sorry. I'll be like, oh, wait a second.

 

491

00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:14,294

Look at my cock.

 

492

00:22:15,674 --> 00:22:16,934

You're like, you can't.

 

493

00:22:17,354 --> 00:22:18,642

>> Freddy: I can't see it.

 

494

00:22:18,698 --> 00:22:19,774

>> Parker: It's an innie

 

495

00:22:24,154 --> 00:22:27,106

baby. Alan baby. Baby producer is my favorite.

 

496

00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:29,174

That's micropenis himself. Fred

 

497

00:22:33,954 --> 00:22:36,730

little. Hey, wait, no, that's my initials. No. My little

 

498

00:22:36,762 --> 00:22:37,814

micropenis.

 

499

00:22:39,634 --> 00:22:41,504

Never. Little MBA.

 

500

00:22:42,074 --> 00:22:42,814

Never.

 

501

00:22:45,634 --> 00:22:48,170

I always thought mine is just for massive,

 

502

00:22:48,170 --> 00:22:50,854

uh, massive pecker.

 

503

00:22:55,634 --> 00:22:58,610

So, yeah, everybody tune into season 14 of

 

504

00:22:58,642 --> 00:23:01,354

the little seven little Johnsons. Hey,

 

505

00:23:01,474 --> 00:23:04,418

what are those Johnsons getting into? You'll find

 

506

00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:04,986

out.

 

507

00:23:05,130 --> 00:23:07,414

>> Freddy: Season one of Matt's new show,

 

508

00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:10,334

Microsoft

 

509

00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,558

m mp.

 

510

00:23:12,606 --> 00:23:15,190

>> Parker: And me. The story of the little penis that

 

511

00:23:15,222 --> 00:23:15,954

couldn't.

 

512

00:23:16,934 --> 00:23:19,114

>> Freddy: The man who befriended the man.

 

513

00:23:20,654 --> 00:23:22,834

>> Parker: This week, we're at the highway department.

 

514

00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:25,634

I can't get my license.

 

515

00:23:27,950 --> 00:23:29,994

>> Freddy: Uh, file for the camera, sir.

 

516

00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:37,474

>> Parker: Which Alan would do a reality show.

 

517

00:23:38,254 --> 00:23:39,610

I live a reality show.

 

518

00:23:39,662 --> 00:23:40,454

>> Freddy: Do it.

 

519

00:23:41,514 --> 00:23:44,514

>> Parker: Would you do the micro penis one? Because, you know, a lot of those are set up.

 

520

00:23:44,554 --> 00:23:47,442

Like, obviously, we've talked about that before. You know,

 

521

00:23:47,458 --> 00:23:50,410

it's all. Yeah, but, dude,

 

522

00:23:50,602 --> 00:23:51,974

would it be a setup?

 

523

00:23:52,394 --> 00:23:53,850

>> Freddy: It was, like, real.

 

524

00:23:53,962 --> 00:23:54,734

>> Parker: They keep.

 

525

00:23:55,194 --> 00:23:58,122

>> Freddy: It would be. That would be way better. Yeah. I'm saying.

 

526

00:23:58,218 --> 00:23:59,894

>> Parker: Oh, yeah, yeah.

 

527

00:24:02,834 --> 00:24:04,410

Real reality show.

 

528

00:24:04,562 --> 00:24:05,818

>> Freddy: Real reality.

 

529

00:24:05,946 --> 00:24:08,850

>> Parker: What was that one time? Ah. At one time, they probably did

 

530

00:24:08,882 --> 00:24:09,894

have it one time.

 

531

00:24:10,484 --> 00:24:12,876

>> Freddy: Well, there was $15 an hour.

 

532

00:24:12,980 --> 00:24:15,852

>> Parker: What was that app? The hell? Yeah. Oh, I'd watch that. They all

 

533

00:24:15,868 --> 00:24:18,604

wouldn't. They would not like that. There was an app that was called, like,

 

534

00:24:18,684 --> 00:24:21,580

beat was a be real or real real time

 

535

00:24:21,612 --> 00:24:24,532

or something where, like, for two minutes a day,

 

536

00:24:24,668 --> 00:24:27,588

it would be like, you have to take a picture of right

 

537

00:24:27,676 --> 00:24:30,556

where you're at, what's going on right now. Yeah. Like, one

 

538

00:24:30,580 --> 00:24:33,452

with the front and one with the back. So, like, you would see you

 

539

00:24:33,468 --> 00:24:36,340

couldn't, like, posture and be like, oh, look, I'm on a volcano

 

540

00:24:36,372 --> 00:24:39,300

or whatever. I was thinking about that yesterday.

 

541

00:24:39,332 --> 00:24:41,824

Cause I was like, man, how many people took pictures on the toilet?

 

542

00:24:42,214 --> 00:24:44,594

Like, what else could you do? You're pooping.

 

543

00:24:45,854 --> 00:24:48,514

She was doing the dance, and she was on the toilet.

 

544

00:24:49,774 --> 00:24:52,582

I'm on a toilet m. And she went viral because of

 

545

00:24:52,598 --> 00:24:54,594

that. Thanks.

 

546

00:24:55,214 --> 00:24:57,610

If you dance on enough toilets, you'll go viral to Alan.

 

547

00:24:57,610 --> 00:25:00,154

>> Freddy: Um, that was another app where, like,

 

548

00:25:01,014 --> 00:25:03,674

people would just walk around and film

 

549

00:25:04,774 --> 00:25:07,514

their day. Yeah, I'm saying it was called,

 

550

00:25:07,550 --> 00:25:10,294

uh. Well, no one wasn't the vine.

 

551

00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,242

Vine was, like, little.

 

552

00:25:12,418 --> 00:25:15,018

>> Parker: That sounds like mine was the original tick tock, I guess,

 

553

00:25:15,186 --> 00:25:17,442

in a way. Yeah.

 

554

00:25:17,538 --> 00:25:20,306

>> Freddy: Right. And. But, like, that's what

 

555

00:25:20,330 --> 00:25:23,242

they. They did. And I think we talked about it before.

 

556

00:25:23,418 --> 00:25:26,250

It was the one where, uh, the dude Andy Dick was on.

 

557

00:25:26,362 --> 00:25:26,786

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

558

00:25:26,850 --> 00:25:29,454

>> Freddy: Like, the people use the Andy dick,

 

559

00:25:30,034 --> 00:25:31,934

like, boost up there, right?

 

560

00:25:32,594 --> 00:25:32,882

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

561

00:25:32,898 --> 00:25:34,106

>> Freddy: They were fighting over.

 

562

00:25:34,250 --> 00:25:37,170

>> Parker: I read something about any dick the other day about him being still fucked

 

563

00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:37,694

up.

 

564

00:25:37,834 --> 00:25:39,100

>> Freddy: Yeah. Ah.

 

565

00:25:39,100 --> 00:25:41,766

>> Parker: Walking down. He was, like, walking down the road with a pipe in his

 

566

00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:42,646

hand and.

 

567

00:25:42,670 --> 00:25:45,510

>> Freddy: Not like a lid pipe.

 

568

00:25:45,542 --> 00:25:48,326

>> Parker: Like a. Like. No, like a crack pipe.

 

569

00:25:48,470 --> 00:25:50,460

>> Freddy: Oh, uh,

 

570

00:25:51,214 --> 00:25:51,990

that would have been awesome.

 

571

00:25:52,022 --> 00:25:53,074

>> Parker: He was walking around.

 

572

00:25:54,414 --> 00:25:55,234

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

573

00:25:58,534 --> 00:25:58,990

>> Parker: When them.

 

574

00:25:59,022 --> 00:26:01,974

>> Freddy: Halloween. Halloween. When the Hollywood people go crazy.

 

575

00:26:02,134 --> 00:26:04,914

>> Parker: I mean, they do the lead pipe shit. Oh, they go, yeah,

 

576

00:26:06,214 --> 00:26:09,206

yeah, here. Yeah, here's

 

577

00:26:09,230 --> 00:26:11,806

Andy Dick. Oh, no,

 

578

00:26:11,830 --> 00:26:14,774

thanks. Oh, little crack

 

579

00:26:14,814 --> 00:26:16,554

pipe. That's definitely what that is.

 

580

00:26:17,014 --> 00:26:17,580

>> Freddy: Damn.

 

581

00:26:17,580 --> 00:26:19,462

>> Parker: Um, I thought he was dead.

 

582

00:26:19,638 --> 00:26:21,794

>> Freddy: He said he looks disheveled.

 

583

00:26:22,774 --> 00:26:25,526

>> Parker: Staggering down LA streets, talking to himself as he

 

584

00:26:25,550 --> 00:26:28,390

smokes from pipe. Yeah, but that may be a wee

 

585

00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:29,274

pipe.

 

586

00:26:29,614 --> 00:26:31,870

>> Freddy: Might be he's lightning from the.

 

587

00:26:31,982 --> 00:26:33,354

>> Parker: Andy Dick looks fine.

 

588

00:26:34,534 --> 00:26:37,332

Yeah. Sitting on a sidewalk. Socks and

 

589

00:26:37,348 --> 00:26:38,610

crocs, man. You can't, uh.

 

590

00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:43,092

Poor guy. I thought he was dead. I really did.

 

591

00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:46,228

>> Freddy: From the top to the bottom, dude. I

 

592

00:26:46,236 --> 00:26:48,916

mean, he went on. I wouldn't even say he was on top.

 

593

00:26:49,060 --> 00:26:51,184

>> Parker: He was pretty popular for a while.

 

594

00:26:52,260 --> 00:26:55,100

>> Freddy: Um, arguably more popular maybe,

 

595

00:26:55,132 --> 00:26:57,684

like, two years. He was.

 

596

00:26:57,764 --> 00:27:00,492

>> Parker: He was in news radio. He was a big. And he was like,

 

597

00:27:00,570 --> 00:27:02,710

uh. He was on some other stuff. He did some stuff.

 

598

00:27:02,852 --> 00:27:04,162

>> Freddy: Did the Andy Dick show.

 

599

00:27:04,258 --> 00:27:05,346

>> Parker: Yeah, he had his own show.

 

600

00:27:05,450 --> 00:27:06,138

>> Freddy: His own show?

 

601

00:27:06,186 --> 00:27:08,626

>> Parker: Yeah. OJ never had his own

 

602

00:27:08,650 --> 00:27:09,194

show.

 

603

00:27:09,354 --> 00:27:09,914

>> Freddy: No.

 

604

00:27:10,034 --> 00:27:12,334

>> Parker: No thing. So there you go.

 

605

00:27:13,594 --> 00:27:16,314

I would, if he did it, would have been called serial killer and have been about

 

606

00:27:16,354 --> 00:27:17,494

breakfast foods.

 

607

00:27:23,274 --> 00:27:26,170

Yeah. Talking about. Talking about cereals.

 

608

00:27:26,322 --> 00:27:27,934

>> Freddy: Gourmet cereal.

 

609

00:27:30,454 --> 00:27:33,182

>> Parker: I made. I learned how to make this cereal in the toilet at the

 

610

00:27:33,198 --> 00:27:33,998

women's prison.

 

611

00:27:34,126 --> 00:27:36,470

>> Freddy: Yeah, this was called tiger's

 

612

00:27:36,502 --> 00:27:37,154

blood.

 

613

00:27:38,294 --> 00:27:40,274

>> Parker: Oh. Just, like, stab it with the spoon.

 

614

00:27:41,934 --> 00:27:44,874

But all the prison food. I mean, basically, I'll be with ramen.

 

615

00:27:45,574 --> 00:27:48,462

I feel like. Have you ever seen that with the people that do the

 

616

00:27:48,478 --> 00:27:51,430

prison food stuff where they, like, make, like, these amazing dishes?

 

617

00:27:51,502 --> 00:27:53,234

>> Freddy: I saw it, uh, in person.

 

618

00:27:53,534 --> 00:27:54,834

>> Parker: Right? Oh, that's true.

 

619

00:27:56,254 --> 00:27:58,074

And I. And, like, I've seen.

 

620

00:28:00,374 --> 00:28:03,350

I've seen interviews where people went after they get out. They're like, oh, well, you know,

 

621

00:28:03,382 --> 00:28:06,270

used to do all this stuff in prison. Like, do you still make that? And they're like, hell,

 

622

00:28:06,302 --> 00:28:06,982

no, I don't make that.

 

623

00:28:06,998 --> 00:28:09,886

I never make that again. He's like, I had to make that

 

624

00:28:09,910 --> 00:28:12,854

because I wanted to eat. I'm. Now I can go to McDonald's or whatever I want.

 

625

00:28:12,974 --> 00:28:15,862

>> Freddy: I seen him. I seen him make that.

 

626

00:28:15,918 --> 00:28:16,880

I seen him make, uh.

 

627

00:28:20,374 --> 00:28:22,194

They call it a snicker dog.

 

628

00:28:23,264 --> 00:28:25,944

And it was, uh, a snicker dog.

 

629

00:28:26,104 --> 00:28:28,600

What you did, you took. You get, like, a

 

630

00:28:28,632 --> 00:28:31,044

snickers and a honey bun.

 

631

00:28:33,184 --> 00:28:35,564

>> Parker: I'm not gonna lie. This is sounding pretty good so far.

 

632

00:28:37,304 --> 00:28:40,216

>> Freddy: You put the sneakers inside the honey bun and fold

 

633

00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,048

it and put it back in the honey bun paper.

 

634

00:28:43,176 --> 00:28:44,504

And then you have to, like, sit.

 

635

00:28:44,544 --> 00:28:47,080

>> Parker: It on top of the tv so it

 

636

00:28:47,112 --> 00:28:47,804

melt.

 

637

00:28:51,144 --> 00:28:53,680

Dude, I know you're laughing. That sounds

 

638

00:28:53,712 --> 00:28:54,524

delicious.

 

639

00:28:55,944 --> 00:28:58,912

Stick. I might have to

 

640

00:28:58,928 --> 00:29:01,784

make that during the break. Damn, it

 

641

00:29:01,864 --> 00:29:04,770

looks like diarrhea. Shit. It sounds,

 

642

00:29:04,770 --> 00:29:05,130

um.

 

643

00:29:05,130 --> 00:29:06,272

>> Freddy: Diabetes.

 

644

00:29:06,448 --> 00:29:06,776

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

645

00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:07,072

>> Freddy: Oh, yeah.

 

646

00:29:07,088 --> 00:29:10,072

>> Parker: It does sound like that. There

 

647

00:29:10,088 --> 00:29:10,724

you go.

 

648

00:29:12,904 --> 00:29:15,802

>> Freddy: But, like, I, uh, think I.

 

649

00:29:15,898 --> 00:29:18,786

Like I said, I think we talked about it before, but I've seen, like, you

 

650

00:29:18,810 --> 00:29:21,682

know, can't be real ingenious with, like.

 

651

00:29:21,778 --> 00:29:22,426

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

652

00:29:22,570 --> 00:29:25,546

>> Freddy: How to maneuver, like, in prison. Like,

 

653

00:29:25,610 --> 00:29:28,522

you know, like, if somebody would

 

654

00:29:28,618 --> 00:29:31,266

get some cigarettes. Because you can't smoke in there, right? I'm

 

655

00:29:31,290 --> 00:29:34,210

saying you might get a cigarette or two and there. Or some loose

 

656

00:29:34,242 --> 00:29:37,074

tobacco you can roll up. But they would put.

 

657

00:29:37,154 --> 00:29:38,654

And this is so dangerous.

 

658

00:29:40,054 --> 00:29:41,434

They would put, like,

 

659

00:29:42,934 --> 00:29:44,790

two staples, um,

 

660

00:29:46,414 --> 00:29:49,278

in. In the electrical socket. Like, put

 

661

00:29:49,326 --> 00:29:52,038

one in one, and then take,

 

662

00:29:52,086 --> 00:29:55,074

like, uh, a pencil lead

 

663

00:29:55,614 --> 00:29:58,406

and, like, touch them with toilet paper wrapped

 

664

00:29:58,430 --> 00:30:00,966

around the front of it. Yeah, touching and

 

665

00:30:01,030 --> 00:30:03,702

poof. It would catch fire, right?

 

666

00:30:03,758 --> 00:30:06,720

Like that. You light your cigarette up,

 

667

00:30:06,862 --> 00:30:09,716

you know, going and smoke it, like so. I would have

 

668

00:30:09,740 --> 00:30:12,372

never thought, dude, that's like

 

669

00:30:12,428 --> 00:30:13,184

genius.

 

670

00:30:15,910 --> 00:30:18,904

>> Parker: Uh, that's what puts us ahead of the beasts. Yeah,

 

671

00:30:19,804 --> 00:30:22,660

really? And you're like some of those guys, you're like, damn,

 

672

00:30:22,692 --> 00:30:24,344

if you'd have been this smart. Outside,

 

673

00:30:30,290 --> 00:30:33,260

uh, corner and walk the other way. Turn around

 

674

00:30:33,292 --> 00:30:36,200

and walk back. Change your hat. Telling

 

675

00:30:36,232 --> 00:30:39,152

you it's crazy, man. Desperation will do

 

676

00:30:39,168 --> 00:30:39,896

that to you.

 

677

00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,724

>> Freddy: I seen them, like past notes. We was in

 

678

00:30:43,144 --> 00:30:44,644

like a circular

 

679

00:30:46,304 --> 00:30:49,044

area. Yeah, real small.

 

680

00:30:49,424 --> 00:30:50,884

That's probably like a

 

681

00:30:52,224 --> 00:30:55,160

30 by 30 area in the middle.

 

682

00:30:55,272 --> 00:30:57,664

And then snails all around the

 

683

00:30:57,704 --> 00:31:00,204

outside, right? Yeah, I'm saying.

 

684

00:31:00,554 --> 00:31:03,490

And if you wanted to send a note, like, you would

 

685

00:31:03,602 --> 00:31:06,530

get the paper and like fold it up, you want to send it to

 

686

00:31:06,562 --> 00:31:09,514

the guy, you know, across the way, they have

 

687

00:31:09,554 --> 00:31:11,954

like rip up a bed sheet to make a

 

688

00:31:11,994 --> 00:31:14,930

line and then throw that shit

 

689

00:31:15,002 --> 00:31:17,522

across the zip line and it would

 

690

00:31:17,538 --> 00:31:20,210

go right up under the door to the other guy.

 

691

00:31:20,322 --> 00:31:23,266

He would get it and he just pulled a line back. I

 

692

00:31:23,290 --> 00:31:25,258

mean, uh, it's crazy, man.

 

693

00:31:25,306 --> 00:31:27,164

>> Parker: Crazy, man. Crazy.

 

694

00:31:28,704 --> 00:31:30,688

>> Freddy: You gotta be, you gotta do what.

 

695

00:31:30,696 --> 00:31:33,336

>> Parker: You gotta do, man. I mean, they, you know, they

 

696

00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,096

adapt, we as humans. All

 

697

00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,940

that, all that just to say, do you want a snicker? Uh,

 

698

00:31:39,312 --> 00:31:40,084

a dog?

 

699

00:31:42,864 --> 00:31:45,124

>> Freddy: It's gonna cost you three envelopes.

 

700

00:31:45,824 --> 00:31:48,808

Because that was the currency. He was like, they, they

 

701

00:31:48,856 --> 00:31:51,832

had envelopes with a stamp on it already, right? So you

 

702

00:31:51,848 --> 00:31:54,752

can mail out letters or whatever and that was like, you

 

703

00:31:54,768 --> 00:31:57,712

know, you could trade that. You could trade underwear, you

 

704

00:31:57,728 --> 00:32:00,552

could trade tobacco. I

 

705

00:32:00,568 --> 00:32:03,312

mean, there's a real barter system in there.

 

706

00:32:03,368 --> 00:32:04,184

>> Parker: Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah.

 

707

00:32:04,224 --> 00:32:06,924

Did you have to write letters or did your family come and visit?

 

708

00:32:07,384 --> 00:32:10,280

>> Freddy: A, uh, bit of both. I've done both, man. Like,

 

709

00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:13,144

uh, the stint that I did, I did

 

710

00:32:13,184 --> 00:32:16,160

a year in county, a year day to

 

711

00:32:16,192 --> 00:32:19,136

day. Like from there I got arrested to the day I went to

 

712

00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,996

court and yeah, got sentenced. I did a year in the

 

713

00:32:22,020 --> 00:32:24,964

county jail and that was

 

714

00:32:25,044 --> 00:32:27,988

probably the worst part of it. Yeah, I'm saying,

 

715

00:32:28,076 --> 00:32:28,916

cuz, cuz you can't.

 

716

00:32:28,940 --> 00:32:31,172

>> Parker: Get comfortable and like you, I mean.

 

717

00:32:31,228 --> 00:32:33,740

>> Freddy: It'S, you're in like ten men sales,

 

718

00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:34,340

right?

 

719

00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:37,332

>> Parker: Yeah, I'm saying, cuz you haven't been sentenced or anything, you

 

720

00:32:37,348 --> 00:32:37,524

know?

 

721

00:32:37,564 --> 00:32:40,436

>> Freddy: Yeah, yeah. I mean, you got a tv, but it's like I said, it's

 

722

00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:43,412

ten people in there and you're all, you

 

723

00:32:43,428 --> 00:32:46,244

know, if somebody don't want to watch what you watching? You know,

 

724

00:32:46,284 --> 00:32:49,206

then there's an argument and a lot of

 

725

00:32:49,230 --> 00:32:50,766

tension in the county.

 

726

00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:51,302

>> Parker: Sure.

 

727

00:32:51,398 --> 00:32:54,246

>> Freddy: Like you said, you don't know what's going on, so. And

 

728

00:32:54,270 --> 00:32:56,634

then you find out your girl, like, the

 

729

00:32:57,454 --> 00:32:59,594

fuck one of the dudes from

 

730

00:33:00,054 --> 00:33:00,874

cheers.

 

731

00:33:05,134 --> 00:33:07,126

It's very tense and I feel like.

 

732

00:33:07,150 --> 00:33:08,034

>> Parker: That may have

 

733

00:33:10,294 --> 00:33:12,302

friends, like, you know, she wants a TCBy.

 

734

00:33:12,478 --> 00:33:14,314

>> Freddy: That really happened, too. Like,

 

735

00:33:15,734 --> 00:33:18,614

my girlfriend slept with a dude from the

 

736

00:33:18,694 --> 00:33:21,554

freak me. That

 

737

00:33:21,934 --> 00:33:24,154

band. Yeah. And that was like,

 

738

00:33:24,534 --> 00:33:26,874

yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

739

00:33:29,734 --> 00:33:31,554

>> Parker: That's what made Freddy do it.

 

740

00:33:35,374 --> 00:33:38,310

>> Freddy: Like, I found that I didn't, like, silk

 

741

00:33:38,342 --> 00:33:41,070

was like number one at that time, you know? So that's

 

742

00:33:41,102 --> 00:33:43,554

all you were you jamming to silk,

 

743

00:33:43,854 --> 00:33:46,514

my bedroom, that shit.

 

744

00:33:47,454 --> 00:33:48,262

Oh, my God.

 

745

00:33:48,318 --> 00:33:50,702

>> Parker: Did you know when you were jamming to that or.

 

746

00:33:50,878 --> 00:33:52,834

>> Freddy: No, like this.

 

747

00:33:54,414 --> 00:33:56,434

>> Parker: You were jamming to that shit when you were.

 

748

00:33:56,734 --> 00:33:59,414

>> Freddy: No, cuz I'm in prison and like, ain't, uh, no

 

749

00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:00,954

beat in my bed.

 

750

00:34:01,614 --> 00:34:03,758

>> Parker: That is true. If you were jamming to that, then that's.

 

751

00:34:03,806 --> 00:34:06,750

>> Freddy: Yeah, no, I'm not like, yo, this

 

752

00:34:06,782 --> 00:34:08,514

all is hot dog, right?

 

753

00:34:08,934 --> 00:34:10,114

>> Parker: Bang this guy.

 

754

00:34:16,184 --> 00:34:19,056

I was gonna do it. I heard it. Do I like a ghost? I

 

755

00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,208

did hit the button and everything.

 

756

00:34:20,256 --> 00:34:22,284

>> Freddy: And then I was like, nah, I can't do that.

 

757

00:34:23,344 --> 00:34:26,272

They had this, uh, they had a station on

 

758

00:34:26,288 --> 00:34:28,816

the tv and it was called the box, I

 

759

00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,810

think. And what you could do was like,

 

760

00:34:31,810 --> 00:34:34,192

uh, this was like.

 

761

00:34:34,328 --> 00:34:37,208

Now it was a service where you could

 

762

00:34:37,256 --> 00:34:40,056

call up and pay to have the video

 

763

00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,056

you want played. Uh, like

 

764

00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,000

it's like a dollar 99. You call them

 

765

00:34:46,032 --> 00:34:48,976

up and be like, yo, play this. That never. Well, they

 

766

00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,720

wouldn't play whole videos.

 

767

00:34:50,792 --> 00:34:52,840

>> Parker: Play Dave Matthews band, but they would.

 

768

00:34:52,872 --> 00:34:55,632

>> Freddy: Play like a minute snippet of the video.

 

769

00:34:55,808 --> 00:34:58,664

Play some silk, right? So that was like how we got

 

770

00:34:58,704 --> 00:34:59,524

our music.

 

771

00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,586

Um, and then that fucking silk shit,

 

772

00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:07,622

you know, I'm saying, I'm sitting in that fucking bed just like.

 

773

00:35:07,678 --> 00:35:09,314

>> Parker: Like that motherfucker.

 

774

00:35:10,054 --> 00:35:12,834

>> Freddy: I can't get my hands on. I can't do nothing

 

775

00:35:13,374 --> 00:35:16,260

about it, you know, like, uh. Uh.

 

776

00:35:16,260 --> 00:35:17,478

So, yeah, it was pretty.

 

777

00:35:17,606 --> 00:35:19,514

>> Parker: With a little bump and grind.

 

778

00:35:22,414 --> 00:35:23,434

Poor friend.

 

779

00:35:24,294 --> 00:35:26,110

>> Freddy: That was at that time.

 

780

00:35:26,222 --> 00:35:27,478

>> Parker: That probably was around that time.

 

781

00:35:27,526 --> 00:35:29,194

>> Freddy: Yeah, yeah.

 

782

00:35:32,194 --> 00:35:33,174

>> Parker: My body.

 

783

00:35:35,674 --> 00:35:38,442

>> Freddy: So I did it. That was about the hardest,

 

784

00:35:38,538 --> 00:35:41,434

you know, I'm saying, of that time. Because after I got sentenced,

 

785

00:35:41,554 --> 00:35:44,162

I went down to the state, right?

 

786

00:35:44,258 --> 00:35:47,058

And then went down to Columbia and

 

787

00:35:47,186 --> 00:35:49,978

I did six months down there. And

 

788

00:35:50,026 --> 00:35:52,906

that shit was fucking easy. Like, only bad thing about

 

789

00:35:52,930 --> 00:35:55,754

it. Like, that was the first time I ever felt like an actual

 

790

00:35:55,834 --> 00:35:56,534

slave.

 

791

00:35:57,864 --> 00:35:59,224

>> Parker: Well, you told us about that.

 

792

00:35:59,344 --> 00:36:01,808

>> Freddy: Okay, I told you about that was out there working the field,

 

793

00:36:01,936 --> 00:36:02,604

right?

 

794

00:36:08,664 --> 00:36:10,684

>> Parker: Today we have a special.

 

795

00:36:11,424 --> 00:36:14,072

>> Freddy: I didn't got over there because that was about at the

 

796

00:36:14,088 --> 00:36:15,120

beginning of the beat.

 

797

00:36:15,170 --> 00:36:15,520

>> Parker: Uh, okay.

 

798

00:36:15,552 --> 00:36:18,044

>> Freddy: And this is, you know, towards the end.

 

799

00:36:19,624 --> 00:36:22,240

Yeah, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, man.

 

800

00:36:22,312 --> 00:36:23,896

So, like, I done got through the.

 

801

00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,896

>> Parker: Hard part, and two days before he got out there,

 

802

00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,164

like, we're having a special concert appearance, and

 

803

00:36:29,944 --> 00:36:31,164

Brent's like, never.

 

804

00:36:32,624 --> 00:36:34,084

I'll kill you all.

 

805

00:36:34,784 --> 00:36:36,456

>> Freddy: I'm so glad it wasn't boys to.

 

806

00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:37,044

>> Parker: Be.

 

807

00:36:42,264 --> 00:36:44,728

>> Freddy: Like, yo, that would have just brought up, like,

 

808

00:36:44,776 --> 00:36:45,672

flashbacks.

 

809

00:36:45,768 --> 00:36:47,044

>> Parker: Yeah, PTSD.

 

810

00:36:49,784 --> 00:36:52,504

There. Ah, is PTSD in Florida, man.

 

811

00:36:52,544 --> 00:36:53,244

>> Freddy: I'm like.

 

812

00:36:55,424 --> 00:36:57,244

>> Parker: I'll meet you at the end of the road.

 

813

00:37:01,704 --> 00:37:04,640

All right, we're gonna take a quick break,

 

814

00:37:04,792 --> 00:37:07,280

then we'll be back with more on the Black Lincoln collective

 

815

00:37:07,312 --> 00:37:10,168

podcast. The Black Lincoln collective

 

816

00:37:10,216 --> 00:37:12,928

podcast will return after a word, uh, from our

 

817

00:37:12,976 --> 00:37:13,784

sponsors.

 

818

00:37:13,944 --> 00:37:16,408

>> Freddy: The new episode of the Black Lincoln

 

819

00:37:16,496 --> 00:37:19,040

collective podcast just dropped on

 

820

00:37:19,072 --> 00:37:21,698

blcpodcast.com.

 

821

00:37:21,896 --> 00:37:24,326

You want to come to the bathroom and listen to

 

822

00:37:24,350 --> 00:37:24,914

it?

 

823

00:37:25,534 --> 00:37:26,274

>> Parker: Sure.

 

824

00:37:30,894 --> 00:37:33,646

The Black collective podcast, the only

 

825

00:37:33,710 --> 00:37:35,394

podcast for gays.

 

826

00:37:38,814 --> 00:37:41,790

Gays in rest area bathrooms, is the number one rate

 

827

00:37:41,822 --> 00:37:42,514

of fun.

 

828

00:38:04,384 --> 00:38:05,192

She's what?

 

829

00:38:05,288 --> 00:38:05,576

>> Freddy: She's.

 

830

00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,240

>> Parker: She a real whore.

 

831

00:38:06,272 --> 00:38:07,424

>> Freddy: She's a real whore now.

 

832

00:38:07,504 --> 00:38:09,200

>> Parker: Oh, there you go. Worked out great for everybody.

 

833

00:38:09,272 --> 00:38:10,660

>> Freddy: So she does still put out, huh?

 

834

00:38:10,660 --> 00:38:12,964

>> Parker: Uh. There you go. Never failed.

 

835

00:38:13,264 --> 00:38:16,244

Welcome back to the 140th edition of the Black Link

 

836

00:38:16,284 --> 00:38:18,956

collective podcast. All we've talked about for the last hour has been

 

837

00:38:18,980 --> 00:38:21,876

Fred's cheating ass slut of an ex

 

838

00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:24,620

girl. What a bitch.

 

839

00:38:24,732 --> 00:38:25,744

>> Freddy: It's Silk.

 

840

00:38:30,724 --> 00:38:33,580

>> Parker: That's what. You know, this should be totally the name of this episode. F.

 

841

00:38:33,612 --> 00:38:36,588

Silk. We

 

842

00:38:36,596 --> 00:38:39,144

should try to get him on the show. We should try to get him on the show.

 

843

00:38:40,874 --> 00:38:43,690

What if we try to get him on the show? Let's do it.

 

844

00:38:43,762 --> 00:38:44,890

>> Freddy: I don't want that fucking drama.

 

845

00:38:44,922 --> 00:38:47,290

>> Parker: But then you could. Then you could, like, address it.

 

846

00:38:47,402 --> 00:38:49,774

Yeah, sort of rap beef with him.

 

847

00:38:54,634 --> 00:38:56,854

Girl. At that place. It used to be called characters.

 

848

00:38:57,794 --> 00:38:59,374

I begged a lot of girls.

 

849

00:39:00,914 --> 00:39:03,386

>> Freddy: The year was 1999.

 

850

00:39:03,490 --> 00:39:04,762

>> Parker: Let me take you back.

 

851

00:39:04,938 --> 00:39:07,774

>> Freddy: It was probably, uh, like, August.

 

852

00:39:09,354 --> 00:39:10,894

It's about my birthday.

 

853

00:39:11,834 --> 00:39:14,330

>> Parker: He's gonna be like, yeah, she told me she was hooking me up with

 

854

00:39:14,362 --> 00:39:14,890

you.

 

855

00:39:15,042 --> 00:39:16,414

>> Freddy: I was waiting for you.

 

856

00:39:21,314 --> 00:39:24,130

>> Parker: We knew it. The whole. That's really what

 

857

00:39:24,162 --> 00:39:26,854

happened. His friends, like, I wanted to do Puffy.

 

858

00:39:27,834 --> 00:39:30,826

I wanted to do. I wanted to bang him. Uh, well,

 

859

00:39:30,850 --> 00:39:33,386

you never know. He was. I mean, he was part of that group, you know,

 

860

00:39:33,410 --> 00:39:36,242

Puffy and. And Jay Z and all the

 

861

00:39:36,258 --> 00:39:39,220

teams on the team.

 

862

00:39:39,362 --> 00:39:42,336

Well, thank you for listening. Still, if you are for

 

863

00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,072

some reason.

 

864

00:39:43,208 --> 00:39:43,816

>> Freddy: Right.

 

865

00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,896

>> Parker: It's time for a brand new segment, Fred, one

 

866

00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,328

that we like to call the

 

867

00:39:49,376 --> 00:39:50,884

worldwide what,

 

868

00:39:53,984 --> 00:39:56,404

Alan? Oh, look at that. He got all the h's and everything.

 

869

00:39:56,950 --> 00:39:59,664

Um, so, Fred, this is going to be our

 

870

00:39:59,744 --> 00:40:02,312

viral take on the viral stories that

 

871

00:40:02,328 --> 00:40:05,192

are virally viral

 

872

00:40:05,248 --> 00:40:08,026

right now. And I'd like to start

 

873

00:40:08,170 --> 00:40:10,986

just down the road from us, Fred, this

 

874

00:40:11,010 --> 00:40:13,610

comes from our friends. Whoa. There's a lot of. Fred all

 

875

00:40:13,642 --> 00:40:16,498

sudden. There's a lot of forehead. I don't know what he's doing, but

 

876

00:40:16,506 --> 00:40:19,058

it's freaking me out. So

 

877

00:40:19,106 --> 00:40:22,090

what? So, Fred, you

 

878

00:40:22,122 --> 00:40:24,794

live in the great state of South Carolina.

 

879

00:40:24,954 --> 00:40:25,894

Do I.

 

880

00:40:26,914 --> 00:40:27,654

>> Freddy: Do.

 

881

00:40:28,394 --> 00:40:31,318

>> Parker: Well, Fred, do you know what cicadas are?

 

882

00:40:31,506 --> 00:40:34,430

I, uh, do. Oh, yes. You actually live really close

 

883

00:40:34,462 --> 00:40:37,326

to Newberry county, too. So, Fred, the

 

884

00:40:37,350 --> 00:40:39,974

emerging cicadas are so loud that in

 

885

00:40:40,014 --> 00:40:42,046

Newberry county, which right down the road from us.

 

886

00:40:42,150 --> 00:40:42,654

>> Freddy: Right.

 

887

00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:45,742

>> Parker: Tons, uh, of listeners there probably. Cicadas probably can't hear us. They

 

888

00:40:45,758 --> 00:40:48,354

probably haven't been listening because they can't hear us over the cicadas.

 

889

00:40:49,214 --> 00:40:52,118

Yeah. So the residents are calling

 

890

00:40:52,166 --> 00:40:55,142

the sheriff's office. Why? And

 

891

00:40:55,238 --> 00:40:58,206

telling them that they can hear sirens and loud roars, which

 

892

00:40:58,230 --> 00:41:00,994

is really just the sound of the CiCADAS

 

893

00:41:01,434 --> 00:41:04,146

trying to attract a mate. That's how they

 

894

00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:04,762

sing.

 

895

00:41:04,938 --> 00:41:07,590

>> Freddy: Yeah. I seen a, uh,

 

896

00:41:10,834 --> 00:41:11,506

digging in the.

 

897

00:41:11,530 --> 00:41:14,374

>> Parker: Ground, and I bet you were

 

898

00:41:22,754 --> 00:41:23,482

evil.

 

899

00:41:23,618 --> 00:41:26,554

>> Freddy: It was just a, like a grub

 

900

00:41:26,634 --> 00:41:27,466

type thing.

 

901

00:41:27,570 --> 00:41:28,300

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

902

00:41:28,482 --> 00:41:30,120

>> Freddy: And I was like, what is this?

 

903

00:41:30,152 --> 00:41:31,604

>> Parker: And I thought, that's called a nymph.

 

904

00:41:31,904 --> 00:41:34,872

>> Freddy: Yeah. I took a picture of it sitting and read it, and that's what

 

905

00:41:34,888 --> 00:41:36,568

they said it was. Cicada.

 

906

00:41:36,736 --> 00:41:37,568

>> Parker: Reddit.

 

907

00:41:37,736 --> 00:41:38,336

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

908

00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:41,424

>> Parker: I'm SORRY, Old friends Reddit. Well, yeah.

 

909

00:41:41,464 --> 00:41:44,056

So it's been over a decade since the

 

910

00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:47,048

cicadas went dormant, and now they're back

 

911

00:41:47,216 --> 00:41:49,004

and they're great.

 

912

00:41:49,904 --> 00:41:52,144

Vengeance. So, yeah, the, the

 

913

00:41:52,184 --> 00:41:55,116

noisiest, the noises. Cicadas are

 

914

00:41:55,140 --> 00:41:57,844

moving around the county of about 38,000 people about 40

 

915

00:41:57,884 --> 00:42:00,820

miles northwest of Columbia, South Carolina. Uh,

 

916

00:42:00,820 --> 00:42:03,756

prompting calls from different locations. As the day war on,

 

917

00:42:03,900 --> 00:42:06,508

they said, trillions of red eye periodical

 

918

00:42:06,556 --> 00:42:09,484

cicadas are emerging from underground. In the eastern us this

 

919

00:42:09,524 --> 00:42:12,236

month, the broods emerged. The

 

920

00:42:12,260 --> 00:42:14,940

broods emerging are on 13 or 17 year

 

921

00:42:14,972 --> 00:42:17,764

cycles. So it says their collective

 

922

00:42:17,804 --> 00:42:20,064

SOng could be as loud as jet engines.

 

923

00:42:20,564 --> 00:42:23,396

Scientists who study them often wear ear muffs to

 

924

00:42:23,420 --> 00:42:24,624

protect their hearing.

 

925

00:42:25,844 --> 00:42:26,612

>> Freddy: Really?

 

926

00:42:26,788 --> 00:42:29,484

>> Parker: No, yeah, no, it's, uh. I was working

 

927

00:42:29,524 --> 00:42:32,404

in Greenwood county. Yeah, dude,

 

928

00:42:32,444 --> 00:42:34,804

they were loud. Really?

 

929

00:42:34,964 --> 00:42:35,784

>> Freddy: Yes.

 

930

00:42:36,684 --> 00:42:39,316

>> Parker: It was like a roaring, roaring noise.

 

931

00:42:39,460 --> 00:42:42,204

>> Freddy: I thought it was like crickets ah, no,

 

932

00:42:42,324 --> 00:42:42,724

no.

 

933

00:42:42,804 --> 00:42:45,676

>> Parker: It's like, it's. It's hard to explain. It's like

 

934

00:42:45,700 --> 00:42:48,692

a higher pitched jet engine. Yeah, that's what they said it could

 

935

00:42:48,708 --> 00:42:51,308

be. Sounds like a jet engine or sounds like sirens.

 

936

00:42:51,436 --> 00:42:54,372

Yeah, or like, I think there's. I mean,

 

937

00:42:54,388 --> 00:42:57,104

there's. They're talking about. They're saying trillions of them are.

 

938

00:42:58,124 --> 00:42:59,224

That's a lot.

 

939

00:43:01,924 --> 00:43:04,892

I don't know what Alan's listening to there. I was gonna see if

 

940

00:43:04,908 --> 00:43:07,644

the fan had that sound like they had the cicada

 

941

00:43:07,764 --> 00:43:10,692

setting. Yeah, but it was loud, and at the beginning I

 

942

00:43:10,708 --> 00:43:12,068

didn't realize what it was.

 

943

00:43:12,236 --> 00:43:12,988

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

944

00:43:13,156 --> 00:43:15,804

>> Parker: What's that noise? Uh, and it just got

 

945

00:43:15,844 --> 00:43:18,826

louder and louder and louder. And by midday and then

 

946

00:43:18,850 --> 00:43:21,090

when I drove back home, I went through, like.

 

947

00:43:21,122 --> 00:43:22,938

>> Freddy: This road that was just a bunch of trees.

 

948

00:43:22,986 --> 00:43:25,978

>> Parker: And it was so loud that I had the windows up and the radio

 

949

00:43:26,026 --> 00:43:28,274

going. And you can actually hear them inside the truck.

 

950

00:43:28,394 --> 00:43:30,178

>> Freddy: That's crazy.

 

951

00:43:30,346 --> 00:43:33,306

>> Parker: The good news is, Fred, that they pose no serious danger

 

952

00:43:33,330 --> 00:43:34,794

to humans or animals.

 

953

00:43:34,874 --> 00:43:35,494

>> Freddy: No.

 

954

00:43:35,874 --> 00:43:38,858

>> Parker: So they're just, they're just a bunch of little douchebags unless you

 

955

00:43:38,906 --> 00:43:41,786

lose your hearing, right? Well, yes, that's

 

956

00:43:41,810 --> 00:43:43,854

true. They can play the long game.

 

957

00:43:44,034 --> 00:43:44,974

>> Freddy: Who needs that?

 

958

00:43:45,014 --> 00:43:47,758

>> Parker: You're playing the long game. These cicadas, dirty sons of

 

959

00:43:47,766 --> 00:43:50,750

bitches. Like, we can't do anything except

 

960

00:43:50,782 --> 00:43:53,686

make you. So

 

961

00:43:53,710 --> 00:43:56,630

we'll do that. Well, Fred, if that's not

 

962

00:43:56,662 --> 00:43:58,086

scary enough. If you're not.

 

963

00:43:58,150 --> 00:43:59,406

>> Freddy: If I place.

 

964

00:43:59,550 --> 00:44:00,886

>> Parker: If the sound. Yeah, right.

 

965

00:44:00,950 --> 00:44:03,914

Well, you could be in the client because then you could talk and they couldn't hear you.

 

966

00:44:05,574 --> 00:44:08,534

Just saying, well, Fred, if the cicadas are too loud from

 

967

00:44:08,574 --> 00:44:11,262

you, uh, for you, from you, from.

 

968

00:44:11,438 --> 00:44:14,414

There's always a chance, or there's always the option

 

969

00:44:14,454 --> 00:44:16,874

for you, specifically you, Fred or Alan,

 

970

00:44:17,414 --> 00:44:19,782

to hop your little ass down to

 

971

00:44:19,838 --> 00:44:22,730

Miami and hop on a, uh,

 

972

00:44:22,730 --> 00:44:25,558

nudist adventure on the big nude boat

 

973

00:44:25,606 --> 00:44:28,574

cruise scheduled to sail from Florida in just

 

974

00:44:28,614 --> 00:44:29,582

a few months.

 

975

00:44:29,758 --> 00:44:31,526

>> Freddy: Nobody wants to do that.

 

976

00:44:31,710 --> 00:44:34,582

>> Parker: If you. Okay, Fred, let me ask you this question. If you were gonna. If you

 

977

00:44:34,598 --> 00:44:37,590

were, let's say you were, uh, an organizer of things, right?

 

978

00:44:37,662 --> 00:44:38,284

>> Freddy: Right.

 

979

00:44:38,454 --> 00:44:41,296

>> Parker: And let's say that you were like, hey, I like

 

980

00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:43,524

to do naked people stuff. Like

 

981

00:44:44,104 --> 00:44:47,016

nudist things, right? Well, what do

 

982

00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,764

you think you would name your travel agency

 

983

00:44:50,504 --> 00:44:53,352

if you were to be in that line of work

 

984

00:44:53,488 --> 00:44:56,280

involved? If you only

 

985

00:44:56,352 --> 00:44:58,312

booked naked related

 

986

00:44:58,448 --> 00:44:59,404

adventures.

 

987

00:44:59,944 --> 00:45:01,888

>> Freddy: Bare bookings or something like.

 

988

00:45:01,976 --> 00:45:03,104

>> Parker: You're so close.

 

989

00:45:03,264 --> 00:45:03,410

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

990

00:45:03,410 --> 00:45:06,330

>> Parker: Ah, you're so close. Think

 

991

00:45:06,362 --> 00:45:07,546

about the jungle buck.

 

992

00:45:07,690 --> 00:45:09,494

>> Freddy: Buck naked trips.

 

993

00:45:10,754 --> 00:45:12,054

>> Parker: Naked ass trips.

 

994

00:45:14,394 --> 00:45:15,374

Trips.

 

995

00:45:17,194 --> 00:45:19,682

I mean, that way they know what you're about, you know? Yeah,

 

996

00:45:19,738 --> 00:45:20,378

yeah.

 

997

00:45:20,546 --> 00:45:21,934

>> Freddy: No question about

 

998

00:45:23,474 --> 00:45:25,498

what y'all doing on naked ass trips.

 

999

00:45:25,586 --> 00:45:26,050

>> Parker: It's our.

 

1000

00:45:26,122 --> 00:45:28,850

It's our dear friends from bare Necessities tour and

 

1001

00:45:28,882 --> 00:45:29,574

travel,

 

1002

00:45:32,634 --> 00:45:35,298

they announced their newest nude cruise will be the norwegian

 

1003

00:45:35,346 --> 00:45:38,234

sky cruise ship out of Miami. The

 

1004

00:45:38,274 --> 00:45:41,034

big nude boat 2025 will cruise

 

1005

00:45:41,114 --> 00:45:44,066

on a ten day trip going to the Caribbean with

 

1006

00:45:44,090 --> 00:45:46,626

scheduled stops and include the Bahamas, Puerto Rico. Alan

 

1007

00:45:46,650 --> 00:45:49,018

can hop on right there and St.

 

1008

00:45:49,066 --> 00:45:49,794

Lucia.

 

1009

00:45:49,954 --> 00:45:52,314

>> Freddy: Be naked for ten days.

 

1010

00:45:52,394 --> 00:45:55,266

>> Parker: Man, I bet you the

 

1011

00:45:55,370 --> 00:45:58,250

crew that when they're like, they got their things and they got set

 

1012

00:45:58,282 --> 00:45:59,946

up and they're like, you guys are going to Miami?

 

1013

00:45:59,970 --> 00:46:02,694

>> Freddy: It's like, ah. Uh. Fucking. Hey, Miami, we're doing the Caribbean.

 

1014

00:46:04,194 --> 00:46:06,574

>> Parker: It's been 1 second.

 

1015

00:46:09,474 --> 00:46:12,218

Not again. They're

 

1016

00:46:12,226 --> 00:46:15,210

like, why can't you let the prisoners do

 

1017

00:46:15,242 --> 00:46:15,974

that one?

 

1018

00:46:16,314 --> 00:46:17,970

>> Freddy: It's not what you think. Yeah.

 

1019

00:46:18,002 --> 00:46:20,054

>> Parker: I mean, it is never what you think.

 

1020

00:46:20,794 --> 00:46:23,594

No. No. Well, according to the.

 

1021

00:46:23,674 --> 00:46:26,378

According to the cruise itinerary, close free

 

1022

00:46:26,426 --> 00:46:29,386

experience. I'd

 

1023

00:46:29,410 --> 00:46:32,014

rather close, close, free

 

1024

00:46:32,054 --> 00:46:35,038

experiences will be planned throughout the trip, including nude beach days

 

1025

00:46:35,086 --> 00:46:37,486

on private islands and nude days at

 

1026

00:46:37,510 --> 00:46:40,470

sea. There are also. Oh, uh, but there will

 

1027

00:46:40,502 --> 00:46:43,406

also be proper nudist etiquette and other rules for guests

 

1028

00:46:43,470 --> 00:46:46,390

on board that include no photo zones around

 

1029

00:46:46,422 --> 00:46:49,286

the pool area and in the dance venues, according

 

1030

00:46:49,350 --> 00:46:50,794

to the cruise.

 

1031

00:46:53,654 --> 00:46:55,594

I'm saying, like, who wants to see that?

 

1032

00:46:58,494 --> 00:47:01,486

Now, I will say the travel company are buddies at bare

 

1033

00:47:01,510 --> 00:47:04,470

necessity. Did recommend that passengers bring some

 

1034

00:47:04,502 --> 00:47:07,254

sort of casual clothing for the times they need to dress

 

1035

00:47:07,414 --> 00:47:10,318

along with the swimsuit, as not all excursions

 

1036

00:47:10,366 --> 00:47:12,554

will be clothing optional, but.

 

1037

00:47:12,974 --> 00:47:15,902

Oh, and lingerie and fetish wear will not be an

 

1038

00:47:15,918 --> 00:47:17,790

acceptable form of clothing on board.

 

1039

00:47:17,902 --> 00:47:18,554

>> Freddy: Nice.

 

1040

00:47:18,820 --> 00:47:21,520

>> Parker: Um, if you want to get in on it, Fred. Ah,

 

1041

00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:23,314

prices are starting right now.

 

1042

00:47:23,854 --> 00:47:26,674

$2,000 for a double. For double room.

 

1043

00:47:27,334 --> 00:47:30,316

Two people. Actually, that's not bad. It's not a bad deal,

 

1044

00:47:30,420 --> 00:47:33,024

you know? Yeah.

 

1045

00:47:33,444 --> 00:47:36,236

I mean, it's cruise out of Miami fucking

 

1046

00:47:36,420 --> 00:47:36,980

islands.

 

1047

00:47:37,012 --> 00:47:38,036

>> Freddy: That's not bad.

 

1048

00:47:38,050 --> 00:47:40,564

>> Parker: Uh, ten days of butts and nuts,

 

1049

00:47:40,724 --> 00:47:43,676

but nakedness. Ten days of things you wish

 

1050

00:47:43,700 --> 00:47:44,984

you'd never had to see.

 

1051

00:47:47,484 --> 00:47:49,544

Because that's the thing. We always.

 

1052

00:47:52,284 --> 00:47:55,124

Ten days of me staying in my room. Yeah.

 

1053

00:47:55,284 --> 00:47:57,384

This was the biggest mistake I've ever made.

 

1054

00:47:57,694 --> 00:47:59,630

>> Freddy: Can I just stay in my room, or.

 

1055

00:47:59,742 --> 00:48:02,486

>> Parker: Yeah, like, it's not naked room service, is

 

1056

00:48:02,510 --> 00:48:04,994

it? Yeah, please don't let it be.

 

1057

00:48:05,614 --> 00:48:08,102

No, because, you know, in your head, Fred, you're like, oh,

 

1058

00:48:08,238 --> 00:48:11,030

nudist. A bunch of hot chicks and, like, sexy

 

1059

00:48:11,062 --> 00:48:13,198

dudes walking around. But you, Henry,

 

1060

00:48:13,246 --> 00:48:15,870

cavill's with their abs out.

 

1061

00:48:16,022 --> 00:48:17,518

>> Freddy: You don't get the fucking, like.

 

1062

00:48:17,566 --> 00:48:19,034

>> Parker: No, that's not what you get.

 

1063

00:48:20,294 --> 00:48:22,394

The 86 year old jewish man

 

1064

00:48:23,934 --> 00:48:26,164

was like, look at this goiter. Yeah,

 

1065

00:48:26,544 --> 00:48:29,104

that. The lady from something, uh, about

 

1066

00:48:29,144 --> 00:48:29,844

Mary

 

1067

00:48:36,184 --> 00:48:37,564

was looking through the.

 

1068

00:48:40,744 --> 00:48:41,604

>> Freddy: Titties.

 

1069

00:48:44,664 --> 00:48:45,992

Burns his eyes off.

 

1070

00:48:46,048 --> 00:48:46,684

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1071

00:48:49,224 --> 00:48:50,800

>> Freddy: Burn his damn eyes up.

 

1072

00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:53,792

>> Parker: Uh, well, I mean, there is a chance that we could, you know,

 

1073

00:48:53,848 --> 00:48:56,712

it does start in February of next year, so we're not too

 

1074

00:48:56,728 --> 00:48:59,676

far. Maybe we can make it an official, official

 

1075

00:48:59,820 --> 00:49:01,184

show trip.

 

1076

00:49:03,364 --> 00:49:04,852

Nobody imagine.

 

1077

00:49:04,988 --> 00:49:07,144

>> Freddy: I'm not going BLC.

 

1078

00:49:07,604 --> 00:49:10,348

>> Parker: Rude, nude and in a bad mood.

 

1079

00:49:10,476 --> 00:49:13,028

>> Freddy: Where's the cruise with all the extra clothes?

 

1080

00:49:13,116 --> 00:49:13,744

Like.

 

1081

00:49:15,964 --> 00:49:18,280

>> Parker: I'd like to take an alaskan cruise, please. Yeah,

 

1082

00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,876

uh, they're

 

1083

00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:23,444

like, maybe it could be a nudist

 

1084

00:49:23,484 --> 00:49:23,964

Alaska.

 

1085

00:49:24,004 --> 00:49:26,076

>> Freddy: Well, you don't ever take your clothes off.

 

1086

00:49:26,140 --> 00:49:28,504

>> Parker: The guy in the micropenis show could go on the.

 

1087

00:49:29,884 --> 00:49:31,624

He'd probably be really popular.

 

1088

00:49:32,404 --> 00:49:34,748

>> Freddy: He could be, like, the stand up act.

 

1089

00:49:34,916 --> 00:49:35,664

>> Parker: Yeah,

 

1090

00:49:45,564 --> 00:49:46,344

poor.

 

1091

00:49:48,604 --> 00:49:51,588

Okay, if you were a stand up, Fred, if you were a stand up act with the

 

1092

00:49:51,596 --> 00:49:54,580

microbes, would your name. Your, uh, kind of. Your name would kind of have to be like little

 

1093

00:49:54,612 --> 00:49:55,584

dick, right?

 

1094

00:49:56,774 --> 00:49:57,554

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

1095

00:50:00,894 --> 00:50:02,274

Coming to the stage.

 

1096

00:50:03,214 --> 00:50:06,194

>> Parker: It's tiny Fred, with the tiny head rocking your rolling.

 

1097

00:50:07,414 --> 00:50:09,434

Please don't look below the waist.

 

1098

00:50:10,494 --> 00:50:12,114

Quite a waste, ladies.

 

1099

00:50:13,414 --> 00:50:16,154

Well, Fred, uh, if you can't find love

 

1100

00:50:16,854 --> 00:50:19,598

on the nudist, whatever, nude bear,

 

1101

00:50:19,646 --> 00:50:21,982

nude whatever cruise, nude boat. The big nude boat,

 

1102

00:50:22,038 --> 00:50:25,010

2025. Fred, there's always dating

 

1103

00:50:25,082 --> 00:50:26,914

apps, right?

 

1104

00:50:27,074 --> 00:50:30,002

>> Freddy: Yeah, I missed it. Like, I think I didn't

 

1105

00:50:30,018 --> 00:50:31,458

get to experience that at all.

 

1106

00:50:31,586 --> 00:50:33,922

>> Parker: Right, well, you know what, Fred? You should be glad you didn't,

 

1107

00:50:34,018 --> 00:50:36,578

because it turns out

 

1108

00:50:36,746 --> 00:50:39,050

that restaurants are

 

1109

00:50:39,082 --> 00:50:42,018

starting to trick people on Tinder

 

1110

00:50:42,066 --> 00:50:44,530

and other dating apps by posing

 

1111

00:50:44,602 --> 00:50:47,602

as, uh, members of the

 

1112

00:50:47,658 --> 00:50:50,272

interested sex or whatever, like dudes or whatever,

 

1113

00:50:50,458 --> 00:50:52,724

and inviting them to dinner at their

 

1114

00:50:52,764 --> 00:50:55,344

restaurant and standing them up,

 

1115

00:50:56,404 --> 00:50:59,236

assuming that the people who, ladies or

 

1116

00:50:59,260 --> 00:51:02,156

gentlemen, who are always already at the restaurants will go ahead and

 

1117

00:51:02,180 --> 00:51:05,052

eat dinner while they're there. It's

 

1118

00:51:05,068 --> 00:51:08,052

a phenomenon known as food digging, and

 

1119

00:51:08,068 --> 00:51:11,044

it preys upon a universal, basic human emotion as its

 

1120

00:51:11,084 --> 00:51:14,052

primary impetus to getting people to go out and visit their place of

 

1121

00:51:14,068 --> 00:51:16,952

business, the pursuit of love and romance.

 

1122

00:51:17,108 --> 00:51:19,872

>> Freddy: You're not gonna get love here, but we got a

 

1123

00:51:19,888 --> 00:51:21,760

greater pasta special.

 

1124

00:51:21,832 --> 00:51:24,284

>> Parker: Tonight is a lasagna. Oh,

 

1125

00:51:24,584 --> 00:51:25,644

for one.

 

1126

00:51:29,104 --> 00:51:31,984

So, uh, yeah, apparently, people are pointing out

 

1127

00:51:32,024 --> 00:51:34,860

there's a bunch of viral TikTokers who are saying they, uh,

 

1128

00:51:35,008 --> 00:51:37,912

pointed out several interests where folks discovered that they were hoodwinked by

 

1129

00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:40,704

a dating profile, pretending to be a real person who was

 

1130

00:51:40,744 --> 00:51:42,684

interested in meeting up with them for a day.

 

1131

00:51:43,244 --> 00:51:45,764

However, the date

 

1132

00:51:45,804 --> 00:51:48,556

requests almost always shared a common theme, the potential

 

1133

00:51:48,620 --> 00:51:51,468

love. Interesting question. Wanted to dine at one particular

 

1134

00:51:51,556 --> 00:51:53,904

restaurant, which the other

 

1135

00:51:54,244 --> 00:51:57,092

real person on the other end of the, uh, conversation would agree to and

 

1136

00:51:57,108 --> 00:51:59,892

show up for. And so she said, y'all, Russ,

 

1137

00:51:59,948 --> 00:52:02,224

y'all. Not restaurants out here scamming.

 

1138

00:52:02,884 --> 00:52:05,756

So apparently this has happened. A bunch

 

1139

00:52:05,780 --> 00:52:08,692

of people, and I think this is hilarious, personally, uh, I

 

1140

00:52:08,708 --> 00:52:09,664

think it's awesome.

 

1141

00:52:10,424 --> 00:52:11,844

>> Freddy: Is it illegal?

 

1142

00:52:12,184 --> 00:52:15,152

>> Parker: No, no, it's not illegal. They're not making

 

1143

00:52:15,208 --> 00:52:18,032

the meat there. They're just saying, like, hey, look at

 

1144

00:52:18,048 --> 00:52:20,164

my abs. You want to go to Applebee's?

 

1145

00:52:20,784 --> 00:52:23,364

It's just dirty, man. But it's funny.

 

1146

00:52:23,744 --> 00:52:26,376

You knew Fred. You knew you would know you were being

 

1147

00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:29,160

catfished. Because when they're like, hey, hey, sexy

 

1148

00:52:29,192 --> 00:52:32,016

lady, want to meet me at, uh, long John Silvers at eight? You were like,

 

1149

00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:32,604

well,

 

1150

00:52:35,464 --> 00:52:35,896

there.

 

1151

00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:36,644

>> Freddy: Dear.

 

1152

00:52:38,874 --> 00:52:41,054

>> Parker: Captain Deez, here's my.

 

1153

00:52:43,074 --> 00:52:44,894

I'm gonna send you a deck. Pick

 

1154

00:52:50,834 --> 00:52:52,214

out this big deck.

 

1155

00:52:55,274 --> 00:52:57,334

>> Freddy: Yeah, the biggest deck in the world.

 

1156

00:53:00,634 --> 00:53:03,090

Uh oh, they got him. They got

 

1157

00:53:03,122 --> 00:53:03,694

him.

 

1158

00:53:04,074 --> 00:53:05,282

>> Parker: He got caught by Captain

 

1159

00:53:05,338 --> 00:53:09,504

Deezer.

 

1160

00:53:12,514 --> 00:53:14,654

>> Freddy: I know what you did last summer.

 

1161

00:53:19,460 --> 00:53:19,860

Uh.

 

1162

00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,866

>> Parker: Uh, what happened to my

 

1163

00:53:24,890 --> 00:53:27,634

Internet? Oh, it's because I called out. It's because I called

 

1164

00:53:27,674 --> 00:53:28,810

out Tinder.

 

1165

00:53:29,002 --> 00:53:30,814

>> Freddy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

1166

00:53:31,394 --> 00:53:34,250

>> Parker: We figured that part out. They got

 

1167

00:53:34,282 --> 00:53:35,054

me again.

 

1168

00:53:40,694 --> 00:53:42,930

So one of the people is, uh. Uh.

 

1169

00:53:44,334 --> 00:53:46,670

Apparently cheesecake factory's been doing it.

 

1170

00:53:46,782 --> 00:53:47,794

>> Freddy: Oh, my.

 

1171

00:53:52,374 --> 00:53:53,314

>> Parker: Damn.

 

1172

00:53:57,214 --> 00:54:00,126

So, yeah, somebody said, imagine the next episode

 

1173

00:54:00,150 --> 00:54:03,014

of Catfish is at Applebee's, which, like I

 

1174

00:54:03,014 --> 00:54:06,006

said, that's where. That's, uh. So that's, like, kind of. My question

 

1175

00:54:06,070 --> 00:54:08,864

is, what caliber of restaurant do you feel

 

1176

00:54:08,904 --> 00:54:11,736

like are the ones that are doing this? Because, you know,

 

1177

00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:13,672

it's not like, Bruce Chris.

 

1178

00:54:13,808 --> 00:54:16,176

>> Freddy: Well, that was the. That was the thing, too, about,

 

1179

00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:18,680

like, people talking

 

1180

00:54:18,712 --> 00:54:21,568

about, uh, where you take them on the first date.

 

1181

00:54:21,616 --> 00:54:22,176

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1182

00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:25,244

>> Freddy: You know, so if, like, apple.

 

1183

00:54:27,464 --> 00:54:27,816

>> Parker: That'S.

 

1184

00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:29,312

>> Freddy: A red flag, right?

 

1185

00:54:29,488 --> 00:54:32,028

>> Parker: That should be a red flag regard. They're real or not,

 

1186

00:54:32,176 --> 00:54:32,864

right?

 

1187

00:54:35,364 --> 00:54:37,540

>> Freddy: They got them dollaritas, right?

 

1188

00:54:37,572 --> 00:54:39,332

>> Parker: Like, we gotta get them dollaritas, girl.

 

1189

00:54:39,468 --> 00:54:41,144

>> Freddy: Let's go. Free game.

 

1190

00:54:41,804 --> 00:54:44,676

>> Parker: Well, see, that's. But see, I think that only depends on if it's a

 

1191

00:54:44,700 --> 00:54:47,572

dude or a lady, because, like, if. If it's a

 

1192

00:54:47,588 --> 00:54:50,428

lady, of course they have standards, right?

 

1193

00:54:50,596 --> 00:54:53,036

But if it's a gentleman saying that.

 

1194

00:54:53,060 --> 00:54:54,292

>> Freddy: He doesn't want to go.

 

1195

00:54:54,468 --> 00:54:57,356

>> Parker: No, no, I'm saying there's no gentleman that said that a girl's ever been

 

1196

00:54:57,380 --> 00:54:59,024

like, hey, want to meet me at

 

1197

00:54:59,854 --> 00:55:02,686

senior crabs? There's no guy who's

 

1198

00:55:02,710 --> 00:55:05,326

like, oh, uh, that's a little sketchy. They're like, hells yeah, let's go right

 

1199

00:55:05,350 --> 00:55:08,070

now. That's exactly

 

1200

00:55:08,102 --> 00:55:08,674

it.

 

1201

00:55:10,254 --> 00:55:13,206

>> Freddy: Burger King. Yeah, I mean, let's go.

 

1202

00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:16,078

>> Parker: Yes. You know, if they wanted to make the money,

 

1203

00:55:16,126 --> 00:55:17,142

really they have to do.

 

1204

00:55:17,158 --> 00:55:18,406

>> Freddy: Is they have to calm the men.

 

1205

00:55:18,550 --> 00:55:19,274

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1206

00:55:23,894 --> 00:55:24,974

>> Freddy: That'S what they're doing.

 

1207

00:55:25,014 --> 00:55:27,966

>> Parker: That's most likely what it is. Yeah, I'm gonna get Con to go to

 

1208

00:55:27,990 --> 00:55:30,954

cheesecake factory. I don't know, man.

 

1209

00:55:31,114 --> 00:55:34,058

I mean, you're gonna go there, but you're gonna be like, she's right, I'm getting the

 

1210

00:55:34,066 --> 00:55:37,066

fuck out of here. You know, once you

 

1211

00:55:37,090 --> 00:55:39,962

get there though, you're in their trap. Their cheesecake trap.

 

1212

00:55:40,058 --> 00:55:42,754

No, but there's no beer. There is beer.

 

1213

00:55:42,794 --> 00:55:43,894

Cheesecake factory.

 

1214

00:55:46,394 --> 00:55:48,954

Do you think you could open a restaurant based solely on

 

1215

00:55:48,994 --> 00:55:51,626

cheesecakes and a thousand other stupid recipes? And I have

 

1216

00:55:51,650 --> 00:55:52,346

alcohol.

 

1217

00:55:52,490 --> 00:55:55,440

Alcohol is the thing that makes the whole fucking engine run.

 

1218

00:55:55,602 --> 00:55:58,500

>> Freddy: That's one thing I don't like about cheesecake fairly menu

 

1219

00:55:58,532 --> 00:55:59,300

to damn be.

 

1220

00:55:59,372 --> 00:56:00,944

>> Parker: Their menu is humongous.

 

1221

00:56:02,564 --> 00:56:05,244

You've never 160 something

 

1222

00:56:05,364 --> 00:56:06,044

dishes.

 

1223

00:56:06,164 --> 00:56:08,144

>> Freddy: Yeah, they sit down

 

1224

00:56:09,284 --> 00:56:11,916

that fucking book down like it's the

 

1225

00:56:11,940 --> 00:56:12,824

tabletop.

 

1226

00:56:13,644 --> 00:56:16,384

>> Parker: Sit down in the booth and the whole table is just the menu.

 

1227

00:56:19,484 --> 00:56:21,812

No, seriously, it's like 100, 5060

 

1228

00:56:21,868 --> 00:56:24,444

items, which, you know, means that they're all

 

1229

00:56:24,484 --> 00:56:25,104

trash.

 

1230

00:56:25,404 --> 00:56:26,764

>> Freddy: Yeah, exactly.

 

1231

00:56:26,804 --> 00:56:29,184

>> Parker: Because there's nothing, you can't have that many things,

 

1232

00:56:30,124 --> 00:56:33,092

any of them to be good, right. You gotta have

 

1233

00:56:33,108 --> 00:56:35,544

at least five or six good things. And that's.

 

1234

00:56:36,724 --> 00:56:38,704

Yeah, that's all you need really, you know,

 

1235

00:56:42,404 --> 00:56:45,300

five or six things. Yeah, all I need is dollaritas.

 

1236

00:56:45,332 --> 00:56:48,204

The rest will take care of itself. And that's probably

 

1237

00:56:48,244 --> 00:56:51,196

what they were like, you know, I feel like cheesecake factory was probably like that where they're like,

 

1238

00:56:51,220 --> 00:56:53,744

look, we know how to make cheesecakes.

 

1239

00:56:54,244 --> 00:56:57,180

And they're like, now the first 150 people who come in here,

 

1240

00:56:57,292 --> 00:56:59,944

whatever they order, we're gonna put it on the menu.

 

1241

00:57:01,324 --> 00:57:04,250

And then, well, that way we know we get a good cross, uh,

 

1242

00:57:04,250 --> 00:57:06,844

section of America. And the first guy's like, I want Cajun

 

1243

00:57:06,884 --> 00:57:09,620

pasta. That guy's like, I want fucking

 

1244

00:57:09,652 --> 00:57:11,784

asian rice salad. There you got

 

1245

00:57:12,324 --> 00:57:14,836

it. Went all the way. I can't even think of

 

1246

00:57:14,860 --> 00:57:17,132

150 foods and Mars.

 

1247

00:57:17,308 --> 00:57:19,580

>> Freddy: Yeah, they eat everything. They do.

 

1248

00:57:19,612 --> 00:57:22,386

>> Parker: I've never, I have, have I been

 

1249

00:57:22,410 --> 00:57:25,298

there. I think I got it to go one time. See, I've

 

1250

00:57:25,306 --> 00:57:28,266

never been there twice that you

 

1251

00:57:28,290 --> 00:57:30,934

just got cheesecake and that was it. I didn't know.

 

1252

00:57:31,594 --> 00:57:33,778

>> Freddy: No, they do have a lot of cheesecake.

 

1253

00:57:33,826 --> 00:57:34,460

>> Parker: Do you have a lot cheesecake?

 

1254

00:57:34,460 --> 00:57:37,050

>> Freddy: M. It's expensive, though. It's too

 

1255

00:57:37,082 --> 00:57:39,874

expensive. You can go get a whole Sara Lee

 

1256

00:57:39,914 --> 00:57:42,882

cheesecake. Right. The price of one slice of.

 

1257

00:57:42,938 --> 00:57:45,866

>> Parker: Right, one slice. And. But they do have. They do have fancy ones, though.

 

1258

00:57:45,890 --> 00:57:48,554

Allen, if you like weird ass,

 

1259

00:57:48,854 --> 00:57:51,462

like, chocolate mint. Mint chocolate cheesecakes and

 

1260

00:57:51,478 --> 00:57:54,318

shit. I was looking at their menu

 

1261

00:57:54,366 --> 00:57:57,270

and. Yeah. How about you hit us with a couple

 

1262

00:57:57,302 --> 00:58:00,278

highlights? Oh, my

 

1263

00:58:00,326 --> 00:58:02,674

God. Uh, look at this. No, I might have to go.

 

1264

00:58:03,334 --> 00:58:05,806

I mean, they got flatbread pizzas. Flatbread

 

1265

00:58:05,830 --> 00:58:08,278

pizzas. Glam burgers, clam

 

1266

00:58:08,326 --> 00:58:10,510

chowder sandwiches, uh,

 

1267

00:58:11,046 --> 00:58:13,858

salads. Yeah. Lunch favorite.

 

1268

00:58:14,026 --> 00:58:16,986

All those are normal things to happen. That's fucking

 

1269

00:58:17,050 --> 00:58:17,934

crazy.

 

1270

00:58:20,394 --> 00:58:23,122

Yeah. In my case is Applebee's, you

 

1271

00:58:23,138 --> 00:58:25,986

know, three. Or mostly for me as the

 

1272

00:58:26,010 --> 00:58:27,402

Mexican, you know, speedy Gonzalez.

 

1273

00:58:27,458 --> 00:58:28,054

>> Freddy: Right.

 

1274

00:58:29,270 --> 00:58:32,202

>> Parker: Uh, see, that's the kind of places that I would think would be

 

1275

00:58:32,218 --> 00:58:34,922

doing, you know, like, some mexican restaurants. Like, my God, we're gonna get

 

1276

00:58:34,938 --> 00:58:37,866

her. We'll

 

1277

00:58:37,890 --> 00:58:40,054

lure her in with two dollar margaritas

 

1278

00:58:40,684 --> 00:58:43,636

with the mexican restaurant. You get the dudes there,

 

1279

00:58:43,820 --> 00:58:44,864

you know, sure.

 

1280

00:58:45,284 --> 00:58:46,076

>> Freddy: Don't show up.

 

1281

00:58:46,100 --> 00:58:48,804

>> Parker: And it'd be like, you didn't show up. Happy hour, man.

 

1282

00:58:48,844 --> 00:58:49,864

>> Freddy: Just bring them all.

 

1283

00:58:51,404 --> 00:58:53,264

>> Parker: I mean, that's what I would do. I'd be like, well,

 

1284

00:58:55,324 --> 00:58:58,300

time to sing. Time to be like that guy that we saw that,

 

1285

00:58:58,332 --> 00:59:01,260

like, kid at, uh, uh, the mexican restaurant

 

1286

00:59:01,292 --> 00:59:04,196

and up the road. That was. We were there on karaoke night.

 

1287

00:59:04,220 --> 00:59:07,220

We didn't know it was karaoke night. And, um. Um, we were just

 

1288

00:59:07,252 --> 00:59:10,196

eating in this kid. We hear, like, because it's on the other side. Start singing

 

1289

00:59:10,220 --> 00:59:12,504

lady gaga. You know, like, all.

 

1290

00:59:14,324 --> 00:59:17,148

And, uh, everybody at our table was like, damn, that. That person

 

1291

00:59:17,196 --> 00:59:19,732

can sing. That girl is a really good singer. Like,

 

1292

00:59:19,908 --> 00:59:22,860

she's really doing a good job on this lady gaga. And then

 

1293

00:59:22,892 --> 00:59:25,724

when it's over, everybody claps and then the person walks out.

 

1294

00:59:25,764 --> 00:59:27,624

It's like a seven year old boy.

 

1295

00:59:29,604 --> 00:59:32,468

We were like, oh, my God, that kid is. Can sing, man.

 

1296

00:59:32,516 --> 00:59:35,334

He is so

 

1297

00:59:35,634 --> 00:59:37,962

that's probably what really. Uh, that's how they catfish in

 

1298

00:59:37,978 --> 00:59:40,014

nowadays. Come on out.

 

1299

00:59:42,354 --> 00:59:44,986

That's the only way they can get business, because most people don't eat out no

 

1300

00:59:45,010 --> 00:59:45,458

more.

 

1301

00:59:45,586 --> 00:59:46,274

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

1302

00:59:46,434 --> 00:59:49,066

>> Parker: So damn expensive. Alan, I don't want to be an old man yelling at

 

1303

00:59:49,090 --> 00:59:51,930

clouds, but it's expensive, man.

 

1304

00:59:52,042 --> 00:59:54,922

I wish I had the seven little Johnson's money instead of

 

1305

00:59:54,938 --> 00:59:57,770

my amount of money. You ain't kidding. You know,

 

1306

00:59:57,802 --> 00:59:58,574

you're right.

 

1307

00:59:59,874 --> 01:00:01,214

Is expensive now.

 

1308

01:00:01,394 --> 01:00:04,034

>> Freddy: Yeah. Uh, you spend $60,

 

1309

01:00:04,934 --> 01:00:06,874

man, for sure.

 

1310

01:00:07,534 --> 01:00:08,246

Nothing.

 

1311

01:00:08,350 --> 01:00:11,318

>> Parker: What's that, man? You get $11. A freaking big Mac meal

 

1312

01:00:11,366 --> 01:00:12,534

is like $12.

 

1313

01:00:12,654 --> 01:00:13,310

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

1314

01:00:13,462 --> 01:00:16,222

>> Parker: Now. And that's ridiculous. That's

 

1315

01:00:16,398 --> 01:00:17,470

unamerican.

 

1316

01:00:17,582 --> 01:00:18,554

>> Freddy: No, that is

 

1317

01:00:21,094 --> 01:00:22,022

you can get.

 

1318

01:00:22,158 --> 01:00:25,070

>> Parker: Well, it is. And that's kind of what makes it sad is I'm like, I get

 

1319

01:00:25,102 --> 01:00:25,534

it.

 

1320

01:00:25,654 --> 01:00:28,578

>> Freddy: I can't wait till they be like, would you like a

 

1321

01:00:28,666 --> 01:00:30,054

big ass fries?

 

1322

01:00:32,354 --> 01:00:34,738

>> Parker: Do you want the heart stopper beverage

 

1323

01:00:34,786 --> 01:00:35,694

5000?

 

1324

01:00:37,274 --> 01:00:40,178

Yeah. One

 

1325

01:00:40,226 --> 01:00:41,774

straw for each artery.

 

1326

01:00:42,994 --> 01:00:45,722

That's like. Remember when we, when we went to Vegas,

 

1327

01:00:45,858 --> 01:00:48,786

we were down by. You guys know what the heart attack cafe is, right?

 

1328

01:00:48,810 --> 01:00:51,618

And many of us who don't know what it is, I'll tell them real quick. Heart attack

 

1329

01:00:51,666 --> 01:00:54,618

Cafe is a very famous burger joint in Las Vegas. I think there

 

1330

01:00:54,626 --> 01:00:57,612

might be one in LA too, but there's definitely one in Vegas on the Strip.

 

1331

01:00:57,668 --> 01:01:00,644

And the whole idea of it is like everything is

 

1332

01:01:00,684 --> 01:01:03,620

terrifically bad for you. So it's like a burger joint.

 

1333

01:01:03,652 --> 01:01:06,316

Burgers, hot dogs, chili, stuff like that. But they have a

 

1334

01:01:06,340 --> 01:01:09,164

humongous scale out front and if you weigh

 

1335

01:01:09,204 --> 01:01:11,664

more than 350 pounds, your meal is free.

 

1336

01:01:13,444 --> 01:01:16,356

And so when we were there, I was like, there's a part of me that wants to

 

1337

01:01:16,380 --> 01:01:19,356

go over there and try. There's not a part of me that wants to be

 

1338

01:01:19,380 --> 01:01:22,272

weighed in front of everyone. Right then

 

1339

01:01:22,328 --> 01:01:24,884

for a free fucking cheeseburger. Yeah.

 

1340

01:01:25,224 --> 01:01:28,120

And you know when you get it cuz like they, I think they make you like sign

 

1341

01:01:28,152 --> 01:01:31,120

a waiver if you weigh over 350 and you eat there.

 

1342

01:01:31,152 --> 01:01:33,976

Yeah. Yeah, dude, cuz they're

 

1343

01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:36,952

trying to kill you. They don't mess around. They're trying to kill you.

 

1344

01:01:37,048 --> 01:01:37,984

Trying to kill you.

 

1345

01:01:38,104 --> 01:01:40,336

>> Freddy: They put the fucking fried grease on top of the.

 

1346

01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:42,920

>> Parker: Oh yeah, dude, they do like in a

 

1347

01:01:42,952 --> 01:01:45,584

puddle. Uh, and um, they're like enjoy

 

1348

01:01:45,664 --> 01:01:48,576

fat. They draw dress up like

 

1349

01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:51,596

nurses and shit. I'm not even kidding.

 

1350

01:01:51,620 --> 01:01:53,540

>> Freddy: I wish I was kidding. He's right.

 

1351

01:01:53,692 --> 01:01:56,384

>> Parker: It's a great idea. It's a great business idea, Fred.

 

1352

01:01:56,844 --> 01:01:58,584

>> Freddy: It's like dicks.

 

1353

01:01:58,924 --> 01:02:00,184

>> Parker: It is like dick

 

1354

01:02:03,404 --> 01:02:06,356

dicks for. Could a guy with a micro penis work

 

1355

01:02:06,380 --> 01:02:07,224

at dicks?

 

1356

01:02:10,764 --> 01:02:12,264

He just does it to go.

 

1357

01:02:13,124 --> 01:02:16,028

>> Freddy: They got chicks at hooters with no titties so.

 

1358

01:02:16,076 --> 01:02:17,526

Yeah, they do.

 

1359

01:02:17,550 --> 01:02:20,510

>> Parker: Have you ever go to. Okay, I don't know about you guys. Like I, I

 

1360

01:02:20,542 --> 01:02:23,222

went to hooters. I want to say like three, four months ago. The buddy of mine from

 

1361

01:02:23,238 --> 01:02:26,134

work. It was so awkward. I feel so

 

1362

01:02:26,214 --> 01:02:27,650

weird in those places. Yeah.

 

1363

01:02:27,650 --> 01:02:27,770

>> Freddy: Ah.

 

1364

01:02:28,214 --> 01:02:31,198

>> Parker: Because like I'm not. I would like to believe that I'm not

 

1365

01:02:31,206 --> 01:02:32,414

a creep. And I'm not a creep.

 

1366

01:02:32,534 --> 01:02:32,770

>> Freddy: Right.

 

1367

01:02:32,770 --> 01:02:35,278

>> Parker: Uh, so, like, I don't want to be like, hey, her there.

 

1368

01:02:35,326 --> 01:02:37,974

Darlin'I, wish I could see your

 

1369

01:02:38,094 --> 01:02:39,874

chicken wings or whatever,

 

1370

01:02:43,284 --> 01:02:46,224

but there's always a guy in there that does do that. Yes.

 

1371

01:02:47,524 --> 01:02:50,476

Wings are good. Yeah, they were good. Yeah, they're

 

1372

01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:53,276

good. So I go on Wednesdays and get it to go. The

 

1373

01:02:53,300 --> 01:02:56,052

Wednesdays is like, ten wings for $10 or something like that. Ten rings for

 

1374

01:02:56,068 --> 01:02:58,892

$10. Really? That's why we went, because we were like, what a

 

1375

01:02:58,908 --> 01:02:59,516

deal.

 

1376

01:02:59,700 --> 01:03:00,180

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

1377

01:03:00,252 --> 01:03:03,228

>> Parker: And then we got there and, like, the service was great. They were very nice.

 

1378

01:03:03,276 --> 01:03:06,180

But the whole time, I'm like, when the person would come over the table,

 

1379

01:03:06,212 --> 01:03:09,024

I'm just like, um, just some water, please.

 

1380

01:03:10,084 --> 01:03:11,892

>> Freddy: I mean, come on, I'm married.

 

1381

01:03:12,028 --> 01:03:14,644

>> Parker: I mean, three quarters of the ladies. Deer don't. They don't even have

 

1382

01:03:14,684 --> 01:03:15,404

boobs.

 

1383

01:03:15,564 --> 01:03:16,596

>> Freddy: So you really not.

 

1384

01:03:16,660 --> 01:03:17,084

>> Parker: There's no.

 

1385

01:03:17,124 --> 01:03:19,948

>> Freddy: Yeah, I'm telling. I don't understand how they, how they stayed in

 

1386

01:03:19,996 --> 01:03:22,900

business with, uh, uh, uh, uh, twin

 

1387

01:03:22,932 --> 01:03:24,132

peaks down the road.

 

1388

01:03:24,268 --> 01:03:27,236

>> Parker: Well, because. Good, right? And twin Peaks

 

1389

01:03:27,260 --> 01:03:30,196

food is questionable. And the women there have the. No

 

1390

01:03:30,220 --> 01:03:33,204

offense to people at Twin Peaks, have some of the. The least

 

1391

01:03:33,244 --> 01:03:34,652

attractive faces I've ever seen.

 

1392

01:03:34,708 --> 01:03:35,384

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

1393

01:03:35,684 --> 01:03:38,620

>> Parker: Oh, man, twin Peaks, they're all shovel faces, dude. And if you.

 

1394

01:03:38,652 --> 01:03:41,594

And if you ain't dressed like you have money, they don't give a shit,

 

1395

01:03:41,634 --> 01:03:43,586

man. They don't even get a fucking refill.

 

1396

01:03:43,690 --> 01:03:46,322

>> Freddy: That's a level below the strip club. That's what I think.

 

1397

01:03:46,418 --> 01:03:47,094

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1398

01:03:47,754 --> 01:03:48,220

>> Freddy: No, no.

 

1399

01:03:48,220 --> 01:03:51,186

>> Parker: Uh, hooters. They. Yeah, but you can go hooters. They're nice to

 

1400

01:03:51,210 --> 01:03:54,106

you and shit. Yeah. Bread. But you.

 

1401

01:03:54,130 --> 01:03:56,594

But think about this. If you go for the

 

1402

01:03:56,634 --> 01:03:59,354

sympathy, if you go. If you go see our friends

 

1403

01:03:59,434 --> 01:04:02,434

at the trophy club, you can get steak and lobster

 

1404

01:04:02,474 --> 01:04:05,430

for only $10. So be

 

1405

01:04:05,430 --> 01:04:08,418

m that Twin Peaks. And if you go to lady and lace, you

 

1406

01:04:08,426 --> 01:04:10,904

can get some corned beef and the crabs are free.

 

1407

01:04:12,004 --> 01:04:13,588

>> Freddy: I think they tore that down.

 

1408

01:04:13,756 --> 01:04:16,564

>> Parker: Oh, did they? I'm sure they

 

1409

01:04:16,604 --> 01:04:19,100

did. It was a lot of corn beef in there. Gonorrhea took

 

1410

01:04:19,132 --> 01:04:19,704

over

 

1411

01:04:23,364 --> 01:04:25,344

the gonorrhea, sucked it in.

 

1412

01:04:26,484 --> 01:04:29,196

I, uh, mean, do they still, are they still strip clubs out there?

 

1413

01:04:29,340 --> 01:04:30,024

Sure.

 

1414

01:04:30,884 --> 01:04:33,350

>> Freddy: Those two, uh.

 

1415

01:04:33,350 --> 01:04:35,704

>> Parker: Because at one time, man, you had, like 20 or 30.

 

1416

01:04:36,084 --> 01:04:38,654

>> Freddy: I don't know if there was the one

 

1417

01:04:38,694 --> 01:04:41,526

on, uh, uh, Augusta. I don't know if that's

 

1418

01:04:41,550 --> 01:04:42,350

still open or not.

 

1419

01:04:42,382 --> 01:04:45,190

>> Parker: Diamonds to dive

 

1420

01:04:45,302 --> 01:04:45,790

in.

 

1421

01:04:45,902 --> 01:04:47,674

>> Freddy: Divers two is in

 

1422

01:04:48,254 --> 01:04:49,126

taylor's.

 

1423

01:04:49,230 --> 01:04:50,630

>> Parker: All right. Greer.

 

1424

01:04:50,702 --> 01:04:52,134

>> Freddy: It's like, greer, all right.

 

1425

01:04:52,174 --> 01:04:54,606

>> Parker: Yeah, you can

 

1426

01:04:54,630 --> 01:04:56,854

eat my buddy in commercial.

 

1427

01:04:56,894 --> 01:04:59,350

>> Freddy: They used to show my buddy said that's where he wanted to

 

1428

01:04:59,382 --> 01:05:02,062

go for his bats. The party

 

1429

01:05:02,118 --> 01:05:05,094

was disgusted

 

1430

01:05:05,134 --> 01:05:05,510

when you're.

 

1431

01:05:05,542 --> 01:05:08,446

>> Parker: So why would you want to go?

 

1432

01:05:08,590 --> 01:05:11,030

>> Freddy: We went there. No, I mean, I wasn't.

 

1433

01:05:11,142 --> 01:05:13,534

>> Parker: No, I mean, I know you gotta go. No, you gotta go.

 

1434

01:05:13,614 --> 01:05:16,566

>> Freddy: I'm not supposed to go. Strip club, but that strip

 

1435

01:05:16,590 --> 01:05:19,198

club. Yeah, that's nasty.

 

1436

01:05:19,326 --> 01:05:22,198

The tables, like, the tables was

 

1437

01:05:22,246 --> 01:05:24,846

plastic lawn furniture. The white,

 

1438

01:05:24,990 --> 01:05:26,470

brittle, plastic lawn.

 

1439

01:05:26,582 --> 01:05:29,566

>> Parker: They were the reject tables from cheesecake factory. So

 

1440

01:05:29,590 --> 01:05:31,674

they had the menu on it, but you couldn't order anything.

 

1441

01:05:33,334 --> 01:05:36,270

>> Freddy: I was like, how you supposed to get a lap dance? This chair that's gonna

 

1442

01:05:36,302 --> 01:05:37,154

break his.

 

1443

01:05:41,394 --> 01:05:44,266

We gotta get the hell out of here, man. We gotta go. We go to

 

1444

01:05:44,290 --> 01:05:44,770

another one.

 

1445

01:05:44,802 --> 01:05:47,746

>> Parker: But I'm trying to remember the last time. Last time

 

1446

01:05:47,770 --> 01:05:50,706

I went to a strip club was, uh, Joelle's bachelor

 

1447

01:05:50,730 --> 01:05:53,450

party. Sorry, buddy. Yeah, that was

 

1448

01:05:53,482 --> 01:05:56,386

where one of our friends we went to. It's

 

1449

01:05:56,410 --> 01:05:59,242

now a church. And one of our friends immediately hit the

 

1450

01:05:59,258 --> 01:06:02,094

pizza bar and was like, this is the greatest pizza I've ever had

 

1451

01:06:02,714 --> 01:06:05,690

during strip club pizza. We gotta go. Yeah,

 

1452

01:06:05,802 --> 01:06:08,344

we gotta get the fuck out of here. Quickest we can.

 

1453

01:06:10,044 --> 01:06:11,172

>> Freddy: Serve breakfast.

 

1454

01:06:11,308 --> 01:06:12,148

>> Parker: Yeah, I get that.

 

1455

01:06:12,196 --> 01:06:15,156

>> Freddy: It's like powdered eggs. Yeah,

 

1456

01:06:15,180 --> 01:06:17,980

but you've been there late, man. Yeah, but,

 

1457

01:06:18,012 --> 01:06:20,036

hey, I, uh, ate this. It was good.

 

1458

01:06:20,100 --> 01:06:21,024

>> Parker: You get what you.

 

1459

01:06:21,444 --> 01:06:24,380

>> Freddy: All the bacon. Like, I don't know what kind of bacon that was, but,

 

1460

01:06:24,412 --> 01:06:25,076

like, that pre.

 

1461

01:06:25,100 --> 01:06:26,964

>> Parker: Made bacon, and it's like they just put in the microwave.

 

1462

01:06:27,004 --> 01:06:28,476

>> Freddy: Yeah, that's it.

 

1463

01:06:28,660 --> 01:06:30,664

>> Parker: Super thin. Like, paper thin. Yeah,

 

1464

01:06:32,084 --> 01:06:35,076

yeah, but it's all you can eat, so you can get a ton of it. It was the kind

 

1465

01:06:35,100 --> 01:06:37,860

of bacon. Is bacon spelled with a k? It's b a k o

 

1466

01:06:37,892 --> 01:06:40,356

n. Uh. And you're like, oh, shit,

 

1467

01:06:40,460 --> 01:06:43,300

it's bacon and eggs is

 

1468

01:06:43,332 --> 01:06:46,156

egs. We got

 

1469

01:06:46,180 --> 01:06:47,344

bacon and egg.

 

1470

01:06:49,604 --> 01:06:51,508

>> Freddy: I have some of the yellow.

 

1471

01:06:51,636 --> 01:06:53,304

>> Parker: I'll have whatever he's having.

 

1472

01:06:54,204 --> 01:06:57,100

I'll have what she's having. That's from

 

1473

01:06:57,132 --> 01:06:58,140

a movie.

 

1474

01:06:58,292 --> 01:07:00,828

All right, guys, well, we hope you enjoyed the show.

 

1475

01:07:00,956 --> 01:07:03,412

Don't go. You know what? Go patronize your local strip

 

1476

01:07:03,428 --> 01:07:06,076

clubs. Tell them the black Lincoln collective sent you.

 

1477

01:07:06,180 --> 01:07:09,076

>> Freddy: No, patronize and be like, yeah,

 

1478

01:07:09,100 --> 01:07:09,460

patronize.

 

1479

01:07:09,492 --> 01:07:12,024

>> Parker: Like, hey, you're naked. Go on a cruise.

 

1480

01:07:14,204 --> 01:07:15,704

You need to go on this cruise.

 

1481

01:07:17,964 --> 01:07:20,932

I wonder if there are people who go on there just because they're, like, thinking there's gonna

 

1482

01:07:20,948 --> 01:07:22,140

be naked people on there.

 

1483

01:07:22,252 --> 01:07:24,444

>> Freddy: Like, I couldn't be trapped.

 

1484

01:07:24,564 --> 01:07:25,304

>> Parker: I think.

 

1485

01:07:28,444 --> 01:07:31,060

Well, I think that that's a community. You know, the.

 

1486

01:07:31,172 --> 01:07:33,452

Sure, but, like, there's 3000 people on.

 

1487

01:07:33,468 --> 01:07:35,224

>> Freddy: A cruise line,

 

1488

01:07:36,164 --> 01:07:39,076

I guarantee you, like, 35% of them all know

 

1489

01:07:39,100 --> 01:07:39,940

each other.

 

1490

01:07:40,132 --> 01:07:43,060

>> Parker: Sure, probably, but just swingers, too. But, God,

 

1491

01:07:43,092 --> 01:07:46,036

how could you even, like. Yeah, I just don't

 

1492

01:07:46,060 --> 01:07:48,876

know that I could trust, like, tongs to pick up

 

1493

01:07:48,900 --> 01:07:50,744

food or, like,

 

1494

01:07:53,804 --> 01:07:56,628

you, uh, know, it's. Yeah, but, okay, the people

 

1495

01:07:56,676 --> 01:07:59,556

working. I mean, there's

 

1496

01:07:59,580 --> 01:08:02,516

no difference. Then when you go on a regular cruise, some old dude puts his hand

 

1497

01:08:02,540 --> 01:08:05,524

in the nuts, and then he goes and picks them. Right. But I don't

 

1498

01:08:05,564 --> 01:08:08,212

see his nuts while he's doing that, you

 

1499

01:08:08,228 --> 01:08:11,164

know? Well, his nuts are actually cleaner because they're being

 

1500

01:08:11,204 --> 01:08:11,924

aired out.

 

1501

01:08:12,004 --> 01:08:14,684

>> Freddy: The thing that I would be more concerned

 

1502

01:08:14,724 --> 01:08:17,188

about is unfiltered farts.

 

1503

01:08:17,356 --> 01:08:20,304

>> Parker: Right. That's what I'm saying. There's no barrier.

 

1504

01:08:21,284 --> 01:08:22,756

>> Freddy: Bare blood farting.

 

1505

01:08:22,900 --> 01:08:23,300

>> Parker: Right.

 

1506

01:08:23,372 --> 01:08:26,030

>> Freddy: All in the air. Yeah. I mean, um,

 

1507

01:08:26,764 --> 01:08:29,548

you got no kind of barrier between.

 

1508

01:08:29,676 --> 01:08:31,704

>> Parker: Honey, I can't get to Puerto Rico.

 

1509

01:08:31,890 --> 01:08:34,770

Uh,

 

1510

01:08:35,094 --> 01:08:37,154

I can't wait to eat some jamaican food.

 

1511

01:08:39,294 --> 01:08:42,214

They're still gonna have all the shows, right?

 

1512

01:08:42,254 --> 01:08:43,434

There's gonna be naked.

 

1513

01:08:47,130 --> 01:08:47,560

M.

 

1514

01:08:50,094 --> 01:08:50,894

>> Freddy: Naked?

 

1515

01:08:51,014 --> 01:08:53,454

>> Parker: Like, no, I don't think the people who work there. Naked

 

1516

01:08:53,494 --> 01:08:54,074

people.

 

1517

01:08:54,694 --> 01:08:55,222

>> Freddy: Fine.

 

1518

01:08:55,278 --> 01:08:57,630

>> Parker: It's the people that are going on the cruise.

 

1519

01:08:57,782 --> 01:08:58,474

Right?

 

1520

01:08:59,654 --> 01:09:01,511

>> Freddy: It's not gonna be kept. Stubby's showing.

 

1521

01:09:01,527 --> 01:09:02,279

>> Parker: A stubby.

 

1522

01:09:02,391 --> 01:09:05,375

>> Freddy: You know, I would be like, fuck

 

1523

01:09:05,399 --> 01:09:06,963

it. I'm about to join these people.

 

1524

01:09:08,783 --> 01:09:11,095

>> Parker: The people on the cruise. The people who work at the cruise are

 

1525

01:09:11,119 --> 01:09:11,923

attractive.

 

1526

01:09:13,383 --> 01:09:14,295

>> Freddy: Yeah, yeah.

 

1527

01:09:14,319 --> 01:09:16,615

>> Parker: The people that work. The crew actually are attractive.

 

1528

01:09:16,719 --> 01:09:19,511

Right. You know, they don't have the ugly cruise

 

1529

01:09:19,567 --> 01:09:20,163

director.

 

1530

01:09:20,863 --> 01:09:22,159

>> Freddy: Golly. Uh, boy.

 

1531

01:09:22,191 --> 01:09:24,283

>> Parker: Oh, man. Well, enjoy that thought.

 

1532

01:09:26,404 --> 01:09:29,340

If anybody does go on the cruise, feel free to call

 

1533

01:09:29,372 --> 01:09:30,944

on the show. Tweet the show.

 

1534

01:09:31,564 --> 01:09:32,996

>> Freddy: Send Matt pictures.

 

1535

01:09:33,140 --> 01:09:35,588

>> Parker: Yes, send me pictures so I can forward them straight to Alan.

 

1536

01:09:35,716 --> 01:09:38,524

Yeah, we'll make him the picture. Oh,

 

1537

01:09:38,564 --> 01:09:40,900

God. All right, time to go,

 

1538

01:09:40,932 --> 01:09:43,756

everybody. On behalf of

 

1539

01:09:43,780 --> 01:09:46,264

myself, a little dick and Fred,

 

1540

01:09:47,164 --> 01:09:50,036

we'll see you next week. I'll see you later. Black Lincoln

 

1541

01:09:50,060 --> 01:09:52,984

collected podcast bl seafood buffet.

 

1542

01:09:55,434 --> 01:09:57,534

We all seen too much on this cruise.

 

1543

01:10:01,074 --> 01:10:03,946

We are laughing, and we are

 

1544

01:10:03,970 --> 01:10:06,594

very good friends. Good buddy.

 

1545

01:10:06,634 --> 01:10:08,414

Sharing a special moment.

 

1546

01:10:24,214 --> 01:10:25,302

That's it, man.

 

1547

01:10:25,398 --> 01:10:27,714

>> Freddy: Game over, man. It's game over.

 

1548

01:10:28,374 --> 01:10:31,350

>> Parker: Just ain't lose blood. Uh, she gonna catch up on the rebound.

 

1549

01:10:31,382 --> 01:10:33,834

Out of medicine. M cancer. The chopper.

 

1550

01:10:37,694 --> 01:10:39,114

>> Freddy: Oh, what a day.

 

1551

01:10:43,134 --> 01:10:45,150

>> Parker: Well, that's all, folks.

 

1552

01:10:45,302 --> 01:10:47,578

>> Freddy: Hasta la vista, baby.

 

1553

01:10:47,706 --> 01:10:49,094

>> Parker: Goddamn. Uh, hit.

 

1554

01:10:51,314 --> 01:10:52,954

Don't worry, nobody's listening.

 

1555

01:10:52,994 --> 01:10:55,242

>> Freddy: Anyway, as you know, I'm a man.

 

1556

01:10:55,298 --> 01:10:58,122

>> Parker: Of, uh, special needs. Surely you can't be serious.

 

1557

01:10:58,258 --> 01:11:00,434

>> Freddy: I am serious. And, uh, don't call me Shirley.