Black Lincoln Collective Podcast

Trolling For Trout | The Black Lincoln Collective Comedy Podcast

Episode Summary

Parker, Fred, and Allan welcome listeners, lean into Pride Month musical energy, and congratulate a loyal listener on getting married. Naturally, this immediately turns into a deeply unqualified breakdown of marriage, divorce, hospital mortality, percentages, and why the Black Lincoln Collective should never be trusted with math, accounting, statistics, or probably calculators. From there, the episode shifts into summer events, starting with the Freedom 250, which the crew describes as America finally getting what it needed: shirtless men grappling on the White House lawn. Fred actually watched it and gives his review, praising the presidential band, the fighter jet flyover, and the whole spectacle’s very specific “Kid Rock album cover meets Top Gun meets Idiocracy” energy. The guys also talk MMA as a real sport, fighter endurance, fighter pay, UFC bonuses, betting losses, and why Fred’s money keeps disappearing into sports, calcium, and Mac.bid-adjacent bad choices. Then the “smaller” event arrives: the World Cup. The guys talk host countries, stadiums, odds, France, Argentina, the United States, Messi, and just enough soccer knowledge to be dangerous. That is when Sports Worm arrives, claiming to be an American worm reporting from Mexico and immediately proving he may know less about sports than the actual worms in the dirt. He picks Zamunda, Wakanda, and possibly the Lakers before being removed from the conversation for crimes against soccer. Satan then crashes the segment to predict a U.S. World Cup win, claiming the deals have already been made. It is sports talk, political nonsense, fake expertise, and demonic analysis — which is honestly still more coherent than some pregame shows.

Episode Notes

Episode Transcription

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fasten your seatbelts it's going to be a bumpy night

 

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a lie a lie a lie

 

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lincoln collective podcast this is gonna be fun we can stay up late swapping manless stories in

 

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the morning your host featuring the sultry sounds of fred and also alan on the board

 

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let's start the damn show here we go starting the show everyone knows that it's time for some hoes

 

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oh and then doven welcome welcome i don't know what nobody showed up nobody showed up on over the

 

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night it was the only show that never even happened like 50 cent bought all the tickets and like didn't

 

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show up that'd be fine because the sales are there there you go you can prove that the sales are

 

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there there you go so welcome the 243rd edition of the blackling collective podcast

 

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thank you to oh one of our listeners noted that they thought that fart was baked into the intro

 

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no i said we're proud that we only use manual farts

 

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baked it all man baked it i know yeah so there you go

 

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but thank you for listening everybody please rate review the show we're probably broadcasting

 

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from the palatial ec studios yeah around here around here and you can check us out on youtube

 

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facebook and instagram and all your favorite podcasts i'm telling you for a guy who hates

 

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musicals he's starting his show you well you got me going it's pride month

 

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mr raymond all your favorite i get in touch with my musical parts on in june new year i feel like

 

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it's just you know it's the music flowing just a little bit more so maybe a little louder

 

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you can check us out on americans favorite podcast.com if we haven't already alienated you

 

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there you go and now it's fred hey man i'm here i'm not singing not tonight but uh maybe i'll do a

 

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little something in a couple weeks maybe who knows if i get off my ass if i get off my ass

 

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and as always my bed after me

 

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there he is

 

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chicks dig him and

 

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want to dig him so welcome to the show welcome to the show alan welcome to the show everybody hey

 

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all right right off the get i want to say congratulations to a loyal listener

 

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it's getting married and he's a pretty private guy so i'm not gonna say his name

 

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but he knows his name why would he do something like that to himself well because you know what

 

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sometimes you meet somebody and you're like i can tolerate this person yeah or and then you

 

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made them for like 30 years like forever so 100 of the reason divorces happen is because

 

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of marriages that's true that's true

 

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100 hospitals kill more people than anywhere else there you go time 60 percent of the time

 

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yeah 60 percent of the time 80 percent of the time it works every time 600 percent

 

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yeah we just i just saved you 600 percent yeah and that ladies and gentlemen is why we're not a math

 

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podcast man so congratulations we're not accounting related

 

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so you can take anything we talk about take it with a great assault there you go we don't know

 

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fractions so well fred welcome to the summertime it's summer yeah it is summertime man and when

 

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summer gets here all the things kind of ramp up right yeah so like everybody's moving and going and

 

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doing stuff you got all kinds of big events around the world yep and this year we're especially

 

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uh proud because this is the summer that finally brought something to america that we've always

 

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needed fred oh yeah yeah something summer of love the summer of yeah you know what it is the summer

 

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of love because it's the summer of shirtless men grappling oh no on the white house lawn in the

 

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night watch them from the darkness

 

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it's the freedom 250 fred did you watch the freedom 250 i ain't gonna lie i did how was it i didn't

 

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watch it it wasn't like i wasn't gonna watch it yeah i watched it it was good you know yeah it was

 

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big it was i mean some parts were like cringy but like for the most part it was all right i love the

 

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band yeah they had the uh no they had the uh presidential um like band a band that didn't have a

 

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yeah it was like yeah the marine band like no those dudes were bad ass man yeah yeah that's cool

 

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yeah they were playing like songs like you know uh they might have been playing gaga but like uh

 

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they played you know popular songs and you heard them and you were like hey is

 

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is that the girl i love that it was the band it was good yeah then after the national anthem they

 

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had like fucking 14 fighter jets flying over the way i mean that was fucking bad ass man

 

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that shit looked like for real like it could have been a kid rock album cover you know i mean like

 

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well that's not yeah i think you think it is i know i know but i'm just saying like but i see

 

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what you're saying the concept of it it was badass it was like it was like johnny lawrence

 

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superbowl badass yeah it was like jets fly over and all that shit yeah it was like cobra kai johnny

 

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lawrence old dude you know right kick ass man you know right right like his dream yeah i know what

 

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kid rock's ideal the way kid rock sees his life right is how it was the 90s yeah yeah it was like

 

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exactly like the movie idiocracy yeah top gun yeah exactly yeah yeah hector macho jamacho camacho

 

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right macho camacho mountain dude herbert yeah i thought it was good it was badass actually yeah

 

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yeah well good and the fights the fights wasn't uh wasn't too bad well were the people who i the

 

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people who were fighting weren't like the upper echelon let me down uh i can't remember they were

 

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they were yeah or they i don't know yeah they were good fighters i don't know enough about it so that's

 

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yeah yeah they were good fighters i mean that the it's too bad that the the asshole guy said what he

 

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said because he ruined everything else right the fight itself and the show right oh and everything

 

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yeah good yeah it's just that but that's what everybody's taking away from i lost fight on i lost

 

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a fight on that money too i lost money on that fight too maybe that's why because you said i lost the

 

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fight on that money terrible yeah i did i said that you're like i bet i bet the fight i got fat i got fat

 

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ton i got fat ton yeah okay yeah i lost money on that fight and i lost money on the uh on the on the main

 

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event is that calcium that you're my calcium yeah yeah there you go yep worth it and that and mac

 

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beds man you losing money left and right oh yeah later in the show yeah don't worry well friend

 

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the other event the smaller event right it sounds like other than you know it's only taking place in

 

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the entire right western you know what you know what yeah you forgot it there's a producer on that

 

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one sports sports hey you guys got it we all nailed it yeah you get it no we all missed it but we

 

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missed it we hit it together but we all missed it yeah that's a team right there that's sports

 

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right there so yeah freedom 250 technically is right do you guys consider it mwa yeah that's a sport

 

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man you gotta have skill man and endurance right like to do that you just can't get in there

 

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you think you think you know oh five or what was it what three five minute rounds you're like oh

 

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that's number 15 minutes no that's a long time to fight

 

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long time to not let your guard down until like that's a yeah and then it was hot outside like

 

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they were outside it was hot and humid after a thunderstorm yeah man yeah hey bro well yeah but i

 

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mean how much do they make they don't make much they don't make that much it ain't yeah the crazy

 

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thing about them and like boxers like you know boxers will fight once a year right like these

 

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dudes will fight like three four times a year you know i'm saying like so i mean in the you said they

 

85

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make what fifty thousand dollars to a hundred thousand a fight you know they might get a bonus

 

86

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yeah it's not a lot of money

 

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well like the upper echelon guys they get paid like a lot yeah they'll get

 

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because that's why they do the netflix deals

 

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yeah yeah you know why don't pay shit

 

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you know you don't you know you know if you have the fight of the fight of the week or whatever you

 

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get a hundred thousand dollar bonus yeah yeah well he's making like millions on top of millions

 

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yeah they don't pay they don't pay well like i said the one the thing that's bothering fred right

 

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now that you can see not on screen off screen yeah that uh you know the smaller of the two events

 

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that's happening right now fred yeah yeah it's definitely the world cup right the world cup

 

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going on right here right now right america north america north america and north america split

 

96

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between canada uh united states and mexico right so yeah they're they're they're uh i think there's

 

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like seven stadiums in the u.s uh one in mexico and then two in canada maybe only one in mexico

 

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yeah yeah yeah gualajara no there's two because gualajara and mexico city

 

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we don't want your support that's me yeah what do you mean you don't want my support

 

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i thought you were like peruvian or something no no no no no i am american

 

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i need to see your id sir no no no no you're confusing me with this screw worm i'm not the

 

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woo worm i'm not the woo worm yeah okay woo worm yeah look at that where's scooby-doo when you need

 

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him oh no no no no no no no no no no no no well uh how are you are you reporting live from the world

 

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cup right now woo worm can we just can we call you sw just for short yes you can call me anything you

 

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want because i am an american an american worm and i'm reporting from mexico oh you're in mexico right

 

106

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you're watching the uh korea versus mexico the the stanley cup in the the game of um

 

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football

 

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i know all about sports i am just oh that's right i am the sports worm

 

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yeah that's right sports worm i love it see there you go so sports worm who do you think is gonna

 

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take home the cup i think uh probably the carol i think they they i think they're gonna take the world

 

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cup uh that's the that's the wrong football sir oh oh okay you confuse our listeners now yeah

 

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yeah okay um you have to pick a country oh i gotta pick a country i pick uh the country of

 

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zamunda

 

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yes i think zamunda's gonna win it

 

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zamunda yes zamunda's gonna win it i don't think uh zamunda qualified

 

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uh what about uh uh what about wakanda

 

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wakanda's gonna win it yeah i think what wakanda is in south africa and they have their own uh

 

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they have their own team south africa right yeah yeah

 

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well i know all this information how about how about this how about i think france is

 

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the the number one i guess the

 

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oh yes france france

 

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they're

 

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plus 400 to win

 

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i myself am rooting for argentina

 

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okay what does plus 400 mean again fred

 

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plus 400 means plus 400

 

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it's like a dollar is a dollar

 

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if you bet a dollar i believe you get 40 back or something like that

 

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oh really

 

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are you four

 

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uh

 

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40

 

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40 i think it's four

 

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well yeah i think it's 40

 

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what if you bet what if you you bet 40

 

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french dollars

 

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francs

 

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yeah francs

 

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francs

 

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yes

 

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francs

 

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francs

 

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yeah i am the french

 

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so it's four hundred dollars in profit for every hundred wagered

 

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yeah so you four to one you get four

 

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four to one

 

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so you get four dollars for your dollar like i said

 

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right

 

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yeah

 

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i know who the teams are because i am into sports and i know sports

 

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right

 

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but why don't you guys remind me of the teams and i'll let you know if you're

 

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right

 

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so

 

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40

 

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there's a lot of team

 

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i'll give you a few teams i'll give you a few teams and then you will give

 

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you the odds

 

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yeah

 

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and then you know what why don't we go ahead and make our picks

 

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yes yes

 

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i'll make a pick

 

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okay so

 

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okay well right now we have france like i said france is the favorite is the odds

 

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on favorite

 

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okay so spain is second england is third

 

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argentina is fourth

 

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uh now i think we can't take any of those guys that's too easy

 

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why no

 

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because here we go now we have

 

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i've already called argentina

 

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we have people that well

 

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said the

 

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said the odds

 

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we didn't hear that

 

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yeah

 

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so we have portugal

 

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these are all more than 10 to 1

 

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portugal brazil germany netherlands

 

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norway belgium morocco united states

 

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colombia japan mexico

 

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mexico 60 to 1

 

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japan's 45

 

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colombia's 40

 

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u.s is 40

 

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uh belgium's 35

 

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morocco's 35

 

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uh germany is 12

 

189

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brazil is 11

 

190

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and portugal is 10 to 1

 

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so or or uh sports worm

 

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you can take uzbekistan at 2500 to 1

 

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or qatar

 

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uzbekistan

 

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i want to take the team that has the players that hit the i want to take the team that has the guy that flops

 

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i think that would be the lakers right because of lebron

 

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all right

 

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screw

 

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sports worm

 

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you're killing the show

 

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get out of here

 

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sports your way somewhere else

 

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no

 

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you have

 

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you can't rebuke me like the other guy

 

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oh no

 

207

00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:38,700

i hate this part of the show already

 

208

00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:42,560

so i will take the united states fred

 

209

00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,360

okay

 

210

00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,240

because of america

 

211

00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,160

but really

 

212

00:17:47,140 --> 00:17:48,180

i think uh

 

213

00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:49,000

i think you're right

 

214

00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,740

i think argentina has a pretty good chance to win it

 

215

00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:52,180

i that's what i'm

 

216

00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:53,260

i'm

 

217

00:17:53,260 --> 00:17:54,380

mess i watch the game

 

218

00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:55,040

i watch the matches

 

219

00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,440

messi is the magician of the game

 

220

00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:57,620

yeah

 

221

00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:58,880

he uh

 

222

00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,280

he scored his first hat trick

 

223

00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:04,740

he scored three goals in the last game we played in so

 

224

00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:05,900

right

 

225

00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:06,420

so

 

226

00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:07,560

pretty good

 

227

00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,300

ronaldo

 

228

00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:08,800

ronaldo

 

229

00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:08,840

ronaldo

 

230

00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,080

i think he plays for colombia

 

231

00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:12,680

and like

 

232

00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,260

both of them

 

233

00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,960

this is their fourth world cup

 

234

00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:17,660

right

 

235

00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,380

so that's like 16 years

 

236

00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:20,020

oh my god

 

237

00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:21,540

hey

 

238

00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:23,920

how's it

 

239

00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,440

what is happening on this show tonight

 

240

00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,660

he's got nothing else man

 

241

00:18:28,660 --> 00:18:29,960

he's got nothing else

 

242

00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:32,760

he's got

 

243

00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,040

he's got two things

 

244

00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:34,260

and

 

245

00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,980

i want to be part of the show too

 

246

00:18:43,980 --> 00:18:46,760

i want to be part of the show

 

247

00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,600

i'm more than just a butt pusher

 

248

00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,200

i'm more than just a butt pusher

 

249

00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,220

he had to push the buttons

 

250

00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:52,360

i can bring

 

251

00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,920

there's one more i can bring too

 

252

00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:55,340

you know

 

253

00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:56,180

oh god

 

254

00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:57,480

sports

 

255

00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,400

oh god

 

256

00:18:59,280 --> 00:18:59,780

sports

 

257

00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,320

what's your opinion

 

258

00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,140

uh

 

259

00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:07,040

be on the world cup

 

260

00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:07,940

oh

 

261

00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:08,880

on the world cup

 

262

00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:09,540

yep

 

263

00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:11,300

oh usa's gonna win

 

264

00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,740

he's made

 

265

00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:14,800

his deals have been made

 

266

00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:15,360

yes

 

267

00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,400

deals have been made

 

268

00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,180

just like we won the iran war

 

269

00:19:19,180 --> 00:19:20,020

the fucking

 

270

00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:20,860

souls

 

271

00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,960

the souls of the players

 

272

00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,280

have already been given

 

273

00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,780

we traded the iran war

 

274

00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:26,780

to win the world cup

 

275

00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,360

yeah

 

276

00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,300

that's what he's saying

 

277

00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,860

are they gonna give the trophy to trump

 

278

00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:33,520

yep

 

279

00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,300

you know they are

 

280

00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:34,820

so much

 

281

00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:35,620

and then so much

 

282

00:19:35,620 --> 00:19:36,740

i kicked so many balls

 

283

00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:37,780

you see all the balls

 

284

00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:38,220

i kicked

 

285

00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,040

i kicked them off

 

286

00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,240

get them around balls

 

287

00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:42,960

look at them

 

288

00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,200

yeah

 

289

00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:44,840

all right

 

290

00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:45,260

well bye

 

291

00:19:45,260 --> 00:19:45,840

bye bye

 

292

00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,500

all right

 

293

00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:48,940

get thee behind me

 

294

00:19:48,940 --> 00:19:49,440

satan

 

295

00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,160

oh no

 

296

00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,260

no snap benefits for you

 

297

00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:52,980

oh

 

298

00:19:55,340 --> 00:19:56,100

well there you are

 

299

00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:56,380

friend

 

300

00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:58,740

what

 

301

00:19:58,740 --> 00:19:59,440

what