Black Lincoln Collective Podcast

The Mummy Versus the Dummy | Black Lincoln Collective Comedy Podcast

Episode Summary

Welcome to another hilarious episode of the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast! This week, Fred, Allan, and Parker dive into a whirlwind of outrageous stories and unexpected events. Buckle up for a bumpy ride as the gang navigates through farts, arts, and dart carts! Fred and Allan kick things off with a lively discussion about heavenly hill farts and the importance of knowing the source of a mysterious presidential debate fart. Who do you think is the culprit? Tune in to find out as they break down the explosive details! The episode takes a wild turn with a hilarious segment of Masturbator Peace Theater, where the guys reenact a dramatic rock-paper-scissors tournament with a twist. Will the ancient game of Rock, Sword, Firecracker catch on? You don't want to miss this side-splitting performance! From AI's potential to take over jobs to the recent controversy surrounding Temu and data theft, the boys cover it all with their signature humor. Plus, Fred shares a nostalgic story about finding nudie magazines in the woods and his unforgettable bearskin rug. As always, the episode is packed with laughs, unexpected twists, and plenty of questionable moments. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the chaos that is the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast!

Episode Notes

Welcome to another hilarious episode of the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast! This week, Fred, Allan, and Parker dive into a whirlwind of outrageous stories and unexpected events. Buckle up for a bumpy ride as the gang navigates through farts, arts, and dart carts!

Fred and Allan kick things off with a lively discussion about heavenly hill farts and the importance of knowing the source of a mysterious presidential debate fart. Who do you think is the culprit? Tune in to find out as they break down the explosive details!

The episode takes a wild turn with a hilarious segment of Masturbator Peace Theater, where the guys reenact a dramatic rock-paper-scissors tournament with a twist. Will the ancient game of Rock, Sword, Firecracker catch on? You don't want to miss this side-splitting performance!

From AI's potential to take over jobs to the recent controversy surrounding Temu and data theft, the boys cover it all with their signature humor. Plus, Fred shares a nostalgic story about finding nudie magazines in the woods and his unforgettable bearskin rug.

As always, the episode is packed with laughs, unexpected twists, and plenty of questionable moments. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the chaos that is the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast!

 

Episode Transcription

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>> Parker: Welcome to the show. Tonight it's

 

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Farts arts and

 

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dart carts.

 

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>> Freddy: Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a

 

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bumpy night. Alive.

 

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>> Parker: heavenly hill farts.

 

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>> Freddy: It's alive.

 

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>> Parker: Welcome to the Black Lincoln Collective

 

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podcast.

 

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Oh, this is gonna be fun.

 

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>> Freddy: We can stay up late swapping madly stars in the morning.

 

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I'm making false.

 

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>> Parker: With your host, Archer,

 

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featuring the sultry sound of red.

 

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>> Freddy: And also m. Every time

 

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on a dime in my mind I'm coming

 

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off straight. My name is

 

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Red and you don't want to see me dead.

 

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One day, one day I'm gonna get a. I'm gonna get a rep.

 

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Oh.

 

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>> Parker: You say one day I'll be dead. And this is a great.

 

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I was like, wow, what a, what a wonderful note to start the show off.

 

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>> Parker: One day.

 

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>> Parker: One day. I can't. I sounded like you was smiling, too.

 

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Welcome, welcome one and all of to the

 

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149th episode of the Black Lincoln Collector

 

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podcast. Now with live

 

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Fred. Action. For now.

 

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>> Parker: For now, yes.

 

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>> Parker: You have to tune in every week and we'll tell you if he's dead or not.

 

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Hey, you said it. You brought it up. No. Ok. Of course

 

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we're all planning on living forever, so we're so glad you

 

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joined us, and we can't thank you enough for your support on X, Facebook,

 

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Instagram, TikTok. You can always check us

 

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out@blcpodcast.com and listen to us every single

 

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day on your favorite podcast platform. Don't forget to like and

 

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review the show. Oh, we also have a YouTube I never tells people about.

 

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>> Freddy: We do.

 

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>> Parker: YouTube. Hey, why not YouTube?

 

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If you like tubes, you like tubes of

 

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you.

 

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If you're a big tube guy, check us out on YouTube. If you're not, you know,

 

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it's fine. You're not into two, like

 

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tubes.

 

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>> Freddy: Check out the U.

 

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>> Parker: Go to the U. Or check us out

 

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on X, which is less letters, so less things.

 

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Well, welcome to show, we don't ever post on X, by the way.

 

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Welcome to the show and thank you for being here.

 

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I would, of course, love to introduce my good

 

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friend Fred.

 

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>> Freddy: Hey, I'm good friend Fred. That's my full

 

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name. Sticking to it, now, right said

 

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Fred. I'm too sexy. I used to get

 

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so much shit in the nineties.

 

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>> Parker: Oh, I bet.

 

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>> Freddy: Fuck that guy.

 

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Mister Flintstone.

 

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>> Parker: Oh, yeah, it's funny. Back in the

 

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nineties, man, people would just make fun of you for, like, your name. They just.

 

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What's up, Matt?

 

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>> Freddy: I remember,

 

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yeah, devastating.

 

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You remember my nickname for you? For those of you, who are just

 

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joining the show and hadn't listened to a while. I had a

 

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nickname back in, like, middle school.

 

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>> Parker: Fred.

 

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>> Freddy: Fred beat Bede.

 

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Wipe your butt with jelly bread.

 

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>> Parker: With jelly bread, yeah, that, you know, makes

 

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perfect sense.

 

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>> Freddy: I used to eat jelly bread and wipe my butt with it.

 

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>> Parker: This is jelly bread.

 

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>> Freddy: And introducing the man with the dogs. My

 

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dog and the man with dogs, Allen.

 

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Oh, yeah.

 

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Smelling Alan.

 

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Did you have any nicknames, Alan? What was your nickname?

 

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>> Parker: Missile head.

 

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>> Parker: I don't want. I do want to know.

 

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I'll never tell.

 

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>> Freddy: They call me IMcb, for sure.

 

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>> Parker: WmDs, brother.

 

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>> Freddy: Ballistic missile.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah.

 

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>> Parker: Welcome. Welcome, everyone. We're so glad that you joined the

 

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show. we are already.

 

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We've already hit our stride, so this is probably the best

 

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part.

 

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>> Freddy: It's all down here regretting hitting that

 

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play button, aren't you?

 

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>> Parker: We always are. Or I always am, anyway. Well, we're

 

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glad you're with us anyway.

 

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So, Alan, we've got to talk about. And

 

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I direct this at you because I know Freddy, when it comes

 

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to, the matters of politics,

 

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for Alan, Fred doesn't care. And I

 

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understand that. I don't really care, either. But when it comes.

 

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If it come. When it comes to the matters of the fart. Oh,

 

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yes. Then we. Can. We take a real

 

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interest in that.

 

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>> Freddy: Exactly. You know, serious interests, you know?

 

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>> Parker: Right.

 

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>> Freddy: So I want to know.

 

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When somebody farts, I like to know.

 

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>> Parker: It's national.

 

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>> Freddy: I mean, it's kind of. Just want

 

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to know. What does it sound like? Is it stinky?

 

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>> Parker: It's gotta know.

 

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>> Freddy: I just want to know.

 

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>> Parker: I don't think he did a part in the beginning of the show.

 

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I always say that.

 

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>> Freddy: And he always put

 

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strong.

 

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>> Parker: He always puts it in. In post. So we can't be wrong.

 

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>> Freddy: Those are the sneaky parts.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah, well. And if you don't hear one, it's a

 

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silent but violent.

 

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>> Parker: Well, Alan, so, being that we know that you were out of town

 

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on your. Yeah, well, not

 

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wrong. And it means it in so many different ways. But

 

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we know you were out of town, Allen, on your pan american

 

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sexy vacation, or, whatever you were doing. I don't

 

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remember. But we know you did that. So you may have

 

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missed one little bit

 

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of, the presidential debate. Now,

 

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Alan, in case you didn't know.

 

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>> Parker: I didn't.

 

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>> Parker: The United States of America is planning

 

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on electing, quote,

 

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unquote, a new or current

 

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president in just a fear few mere months,

 

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if, assuming they both live to be that

 

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age. They're all like a hundred years old.

 

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>> Freddy: You're electing a dead man.

 

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>> Parker: So if you will please bring up.

 

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>> Parker: The mummy and the dummy.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah. Which one is

 

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which?

 

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>> Freddy: You decide.

 

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>> Parker: There you go. You decide. America.

 

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That's where you get to vote.

 

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All right, Alan, bring up my screen so that you can do the. Remember I said

 

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to do this is like part of your job tonight.

 

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>> Parker: Yes, but I have no idea what this is all about.

 

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>> Parker: Well, this is what it's about. I need you to take a quick listen.

 

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Take a deep, quick listen to,

 

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this excerpt from the presidential debate. Now,

 

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listen again. We don't play sides in politics. We hate them both.

 

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No, but we need to know. Fred needs to

 

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know. I need to know. America needs to know.

 

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>> Freddy: Yes.

 

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>> Parker: Whose fart is this? I have a pretty good

 

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idea, but I still need you to hear it. Okay, you ready? Listen, this

 

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is courtesy of, the Beck lover channel.

 

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>> Parker: All right, let it rip.

 

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>> Parker: Oh, I am letting it rip. Literally in figure boy.

 

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>> Speaker D: Can't because it's too much money. It's tremendous. And, we

 

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saved my way. Can't because it's too much money. It's

 

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tremendous. And we saved my way. Can't be more.

 

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Can't because it's too much money. It's.

 

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>> Parker: Okay. You hear it, Alan?

 

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>> Parker: I did hear it.

 

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>> Parker: Okay, so now, just based on that

 

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clip alone, which you can remove this if you

 

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like, what, would you, who do you think

 

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I think made that far?

 

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>> Parker: I think it was the, the woman commentator that was

 

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asking the question.

 

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>> Parker: I don't know, man. I don't know.

 

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>> Parker: Because Biden didn't look like he was.

 

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>> Parker: Straining, but Trump sounded like he was

 

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straight. Put it back up so you can hear it again.

 

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Listen to Trump's words as this happens.

 

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So now, keep in mind, during the presidential debate,

 

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Allen, when one party is talking,

 

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the other party's mic is.

 

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>> Freddy: Mike is off. Yeah.

 

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>> Parker: So, okay, so it can't be Biden.

 

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>> Parker: All right? Very minimal chance. Unless it was a real

 

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bomb.

 

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>> Parker: No, he would have stopped.

 

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>> Parker: He would have been. Yeah, he would have fallen over or, like, lifted up in the

 

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air.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah.

 

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>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

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>> Parker: All right, so listen, listen to former

 

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President Trump's voice as this

 

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happens to ready moy.

 

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>> Speaker D: Can't because it's too much money. It's tremendous. And

 

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we saved away. Can't because it's too much money.

 

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It's tremendous.

 

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>> Parker: And we say it's tremendous.

 

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>> Speaker D: Because it's too much money. It's.

 

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>> Freddy: I'm going to defend. I'm going to defend former

 

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President Trump. This was not a

 

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fart that motherfucker shit his pants.

 

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That might have that

 

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Washington.

 

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>> Parker: That was a little bit, that was.

 

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>> Freddy: A little bit of dookie come out of his butthole.

 

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>> Parker: So now that we determined, beyond the shadow of

 

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a doubt, Trump is the one who, who let that

 

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loose.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah.

 

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>> Parker: I mean, I am 96% sure that you're right, Fred. There

 

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was at least some fecal matter involved in

 

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that.

 

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>> Freddy: Yeah, he do.

 

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>> Parker: That's pretty damn close to what it sounded like.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah.

 

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>> Freddy: That was. If the mic was on his ass,

 

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that's exactly what you would have heard.

 

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Yeah, but it wasn't. It was, it

 

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was 4ft above his ass,

 

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so.

 

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>> Parker: And on the other side of his little.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I mean, if you do. Process of elimination.

 

219

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Yeah, it's him.

 

220

00:09:39,468 --> 00:09:41,590

>> Parker: Well, it literally is the process of elimination.

 

221

00:09:41,758 --> 00:09:44,306

>> Freddy: You got baby blowing out birthday candles.

 

222

00:09:45,046 --> 00:09:45,430

>> Parker: Yes.

 

223

00:09:45,478 --> 00:09:48,438

>> Parker: That was, you know, that's like, that's what my great aunt used

 

224

00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:51,006

to call it was elimination. When you, when you pooped.

 

225

00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:51,638

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

226

00:09:51,702 --> 00:09:53,636

>> Parker: She'd be like, oh, time for some elimination.

 

227

00:09:53,806 --> 00:09:55,356

>> Freddy: I got to eliminate.

 

228

00:09:57,776 --> 00:09:59,352

I can beat you at golf.

 

229

00:09:59,504 --> 00:10:01,824

>> Parker: I got a beautiful golf course and it's

 

230

00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:02,676

beautiful.

 

231

00:10:05,616 --> 00:10:08,552

>> Parker: Goodness, man. So again, we're not going to, like,

 

232

00:10:08,624 --> 00:10:09,848

talk about the whole debate because it's.

 

233

00:10:09,912 --> 00:10:12,624

>> Freddy: Too bad, too bad, too bad he wasn't wearing a white

 

234

00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,536

golf pants. Cause you seen that shit. You seen

 

235

00:10:15,576 --> 00:10:18,408

it. He looked like a 15 year old

 

236

00:10:18,432 --> 00:10:21,276

girl on a period with white pants on.

 

237

00:10:25,156 --> 00:10:28,100

>> Parker: I mean, you got to give the man credit for his showmanship because he kept

 

238

00:10:28,148 --> 00:10:28,736

going.

 

239

00:10:32,476 --> 00:10:35,292

>> Parker: Who hasn't been in the middle of a sentence and farted and just kept on

 

240

00:10:35,324 --> 00:10:35,612

going.

 

241

00:10:35,684 --> 00:10:35,892

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

242

00:10:35,924 --> 00:10:38,892

>> Freddy: Again, that wasn't a part, you know, that was.

 

243

00:10:38,964 --> 00:10:41,500

Yeah, he shitted. Yeah, he. Okay, that was one of the,

 

244

00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:44,156

like, you know

 

245

00:10:44,196 --> 00:10:45,936

what? And

 

246

00:10:46,836 --> 00:10:49,306

I I,

 

247

00:10:50,086 --> 00:10:51,826

I want to say, like,

 

248

00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,814

he might say, he might get my vote because of

 

249

00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:56,386

that.

 

250

00:10:58,606 --> 00:10:59,550

>> Parker: How can it be?

 

251

00:10:59,638 --> 00:11:01,726

>> Parker: I can't vote for someone who shit their pants more often?

 

252

00:11:01,806 --> 00:11:04,294

>> Parker: What he was talking about didn't, didn't Biden shit his pants in

 

253

00:11:04,310 --> 00:11:06,326

Normandy. And he actually did it in style.

 

254

00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:09,174

>> Freddy: He was like, hey, who was that

 

255

00:11:09,230 --> 00:11:10,796

threw up on the, Emperor.

 

256

00:11:13,916 --> 00:11:15,816

>> Parker: George Bush, the prime minister?

 

257

00:11:20,276 --> 00:11:22,220

I mean, people, people are people.

 

258

00:11:22,268 --> 00:11:23,196

>> Freddy: Come on, people.

 

259

00:11:23,276 --> 00:11:26,212

>> Parker: Make no mistake. But also, like, I tell my

 

260

00:11:26,244 --> 00:11:29,124

kids, for instance, Fred, and I don't know if you would do the

 

261

00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:32,036

same thing before you have to go on

 

262

00:11:32,076 --> 00:11:34,540

stage for something. Take a potty break.

 

263

00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:37,616

Hey, I always say, do you need to go potty?

 

264

00:11:38,196 --> 00:11:40,042

And then like, yeah, yeah.

 

265

00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:40,806

>> Parker: Banana.

 

266

00:11:41,386 --> 00:11:42,850

>> Parker: I mean, take a big one.

 

267

00:11:42,938 --> 00:11:43,698

>> Parker: I mean, bring it.

 

268

00:11:43,762 --> 00:11:45,258

>> Freddy: I need to take a big one.

 

269

00:11:45,322 --> 00:11:48,266

>> Parker: It's gonna be huge. Like,

 

270

00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:50,890

dad, take me to the boys room. This is gonna be

 

271

00:11:50,938 --> 00:11:51,566

huge.

 

272

00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:55,946

>> Freddy: Right?

 

273

00:11:56,026 --> 00:11:58,818

>> Parker: Bigger than that explosion on Fred's cub, you know?

 

274

00:11:58,882 --> 00:11:59,634

>> Freddy: You know?

 

275

00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:02,242

>> Parker: Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, they. Because he made it into a

 

276

00:12:02,274 --> 00:12:04,858

thing that said, like, real men wear

 

277

00:12:04,882 --> 00:12:07,566

diapers. And, like, then all the people, right.

 

278

00:12:07,746 --> 00:12:08,746

Were wearing,

 

279

00:12:11,196 --> 00:12:12,860

what world do we live in?

 

280

00:12:12,948 --> 00:12:15,892

>> Freddy: Put it together. He really did shit his

 

281

00:12:15,924 --> 00:12:16,492

pants.

 

282

00:12:16,604 --> 00:12:17,646

>> Parker: Yeah, of course he did.

 

283

00:12:17,646 --> 00:12:19,054

>> Parker: men wear diapers. You said that.

 

284

00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:19,746

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

285

00:12:21,766 --> 00:12:24,558

Like, a month ago. That was a whole thing

 

286

00:12:24,662 --> 00:12:27,506

rally with, like, wearing the pipes on the outside,

 

287

00:12:27,806 --> 00:12:28,546

right?

 

288

00:12:29,406 --> 00:12:31,906

>> Parker: Like a sticker of, Donald Trump's face on the crotch.

 

289

00:12:31,946 --> 00:12:32,266

>> Freddy: Right?

 

290

00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:34,138

>> Parker: I'm not even kidding with you. I'm not even gay.

 

291

00:12:34,202 --> 00:12:35,754

And I wish I was thinking, why.

 

292

00:12:35,770 --> 00:12:37,766

>> Parker: Would you wear depends on the outside.

 

293

00:12:38,196 --> 00:12:39,956

>> Parker: Because they want to know.

 

294

00:12:40,116 --> 00:12:40,764

>> Freddy: Yes.

 

295

00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:43,856

>> Parker: That it's okay that he wears diapers on the inside.

 

296

00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,972

Not on the inside of his heart, on the inside of his

 

297

00:12:47,004 --> 00:12:49,932

pants. So that's

 

298

00:12:49,964 --> 00:12:52,724

why they were like, oh. Because someone was like, oh, Donald Trump wears a

 

299

00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:55,628

diaper. Here's a hundred pieces of video

 

300

00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,572

evidence where he's obviously wearing a diaper, and they're like, it's

 

301

00:12:58,604 --> 00:13:00,980

all right. He's tough. He's just a man.

 

302

00:13:01,108 --> 00:13:02,772

>> Parker: I didn't know he wore a diaper.

 

303

00:13:02,924 --> 00:13:03,444

>> Freddy: My girl.

 

304

00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:04,370

>> Parker: Look it up, dude.

 

305

00:13:04,468 --> 00:13:07,254

>> Freddy: My grandfather would never. He never.

 

306

00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:09,206

He got mad at that shit.

 

307

00:13:09,286 --> 00:13:10,038

>> Parker: Oh, yeah.

 

308

00:13:10,182 --> 00:13:12,386

>> Freddy: I ain't wearing no fucking diaper.

 

309

00:13:13,846 --> 00:13:14,902

But, like, he was.

 

310

00:13:14,934 --> 00:13:16,246

>> Parker: Anyway, mentally, he did.

 

311

00:13:16,286 --> 00:13:17,976

>> Freddy: Yeah, yeah. He was like,

 

312

00:13:17,926 --> 00:13:18,936

>> Parker: Oh. You know what.

 

313

00:13:22,596 --> 00:13:22,926

>> Freddy: I'm saying?

 

314

00:13:22,926 --> 00:13:25,828

>> Parker: M if I get to the age where I got to wear a diaper, you know

 

315

00:13:25,852 --> 00:13:28,096

what? Everybody's gonna know when I shit it.

 

316

00:13:29,966 --> 00:13:32,126

grandpa baby needs a time. A, timeout change.

 

317

00:13:32,198 --> 00:13:32,850

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

318

00:13:36,310 --> 00:13:38,990

>> Freddy: Make sure that the diapers that you do

 

319

00:13:39,030 --> 00:13:41,726

wear are coated with sore

 

320

00:13:41,758 --> 00:13:42,410

flakes.

 

321

00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:43,398

>> Parker: That's true.

 

322

00:13:43,454 --> 00:13:45,170

>> Parker: Oh, yes. That's right.

 

323

00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:47,250

>> Parker: That way, no one will know.

 

324

00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:48,918

>> Parker: Can't smell it.

 

325

00:13:48,974 --> 00:13:51,838

>> Parker: Right. If Trump was wearing the Zorflex

 

326

00:13:51,894 --> 00:13:54,854

lights, then no one would have even known. This wouldn't

 

327

00:13:54,862 --> 00:13:57,846

even be controversial. I don't know,

 

328

00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:58,462

Mandy.

 

329

00:13:58,476 --> 00:13:59,796

>> Parker: No, because, if he had.

 

330

00:13:59,868 --> 00:14:00,684

>> Parker: Pretty cheap.

 

331

00:14:00,852 --> 00:14:03,440

>> Parker: No, but Biden would have said something. But everyone would be like,

 

332

00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,722

okay, my pants. You know, he would have.

 

333

00:14:05,746 --> 00:14:08,230

>> Freddy: Biden, diapers have solids.

 

334

00:14:12,690 --> 00:14:15,292

>> Parker: They're, government issue for the president

 

335

00:14:15,356 --> 00:14:15,960

only.

 

336

00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:19,500

>> Freddy: Pew. Pew.

 

337

00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:22,556

>> Parker: You know, you know, it's fucked up that we're actually talking about

 

338

00:14:22,708 --> 00:14:24,796

both presidents probably shit their pants all the time.

 

339

00:14:24,828 --> 00:14:26,800

>> Parker: Well, no, what I was going to say is.

 

340

00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:30,180

All the time, Alan. What I was going to say

 

341

00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,248

is, if Trump did shit his fans.

 

342

00:14:33,424 --> 00:14:35,664

Then Biden's reaction would have been like, your

 

343

00:14:35,712 --> 00:14:38,520

reaction to the fifties trivia comment I made

 

344

00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,472

last week where, like, we said it,

 

345

00:14:41,496 --> 00:14:44,100

it happened. And then, like, three minutes later, you're like,

 

346

00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,860

Biden would have been like, did someone fart?

 

347

00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,420

Oh, five minutes later.

 

348

00:14:53,730 --> 00:14:54,186

>> Freddy: See?

 

349

00:14:54,258 --> 00:14:55,396

>> Parker: Oh, that would have been hilarious.

 

350

00:14:55,524 --> 00:14:57,672

>> Freddy: That would have been hilarious. If

 

351

00:14:58,292 --> 00:15:00,952

it's. I don't know if Biden heard that.

 

352

00:15:01,492 --> 00:15:04,324

He probably did. And he heard that and

 

353

00:15:04,348 --> 00:15:05,592

he called him up.

 

354

00:15:08,892 --> 00:15:11,556

Not live that down. Trump would have dropped out, right?

 

355

00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,244

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

356

00:15:12,388 --> 00:15:15,092

>> Freddy: Did you. Hey,

 

357

00:15:15,132 --> 00:15:18,012

man, just

 

358

00:15:18,052 --> 00:15:19,472

shit your fucking pants.

 

359

00:15:20,912 --> 00:15:22,710

>> Parker: They've been like, Did you ever see,

 

360

00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:25,938

oh, you shit your pants.

 

361

00:15:26,114 --> 00:15:28,962

>> Parker: You ever seen the one that Biden said he wiped his ass? He's but

 

362

00:15:28,986 --> 00:15:31,490

my butt's been wiped. You ever see that?

 

363

00:15:31,570 --> 00:15:34,546

>> Freddy: No, but I, ah, they asked him.

 

364

00:15:34,578 --> 00:15:37,510

>> Parker: Like, what about something such as, he's like, my butt's been wiped.

 

365

00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:41,602

>> Parker: You can't. Okay, but we've realized that you

 

366

00:15:41,626 --> 00:15:44,354

can't understand. We can't understand what people are saying nowadays

 

367

00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:47,250

because just like, what was the name Terrence Howard the other

 

368

00:15:47,290 --> 00:15:50,258

day where we were listening to that? Where the guy was like,

 

369

00:15:50,274 --> 00:15:52,954

well, the cosine of the equivalent to the square root of the

 

370

00:15:53,042 --> 00:15:55,794

vertebrae of the piece of pie does not equal three

 

371

00:15:55,842 --> 00:15:58,362

fists pie. And he's like, yeah,

 

372

00:15:58,466 --> 00:15:59,310

exactly.

 

373

00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:04,266

And Joe Rogan's like, that's the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard. I still

 

374

00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:05,346

don't understand what that means.

 

375

00:16:05,418 --> 00:16:07,402

>> Freddy: I don't know. I don't know what he meant by that.

 

376

00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:10,426

>> Parker: I watched it three times and I was like, I don't, I understand it less

 

377

00:16:10,458 --> 00:16:10,626

now.

 

378

00:16:10,658 --> 00:16:12,960

>> Freddy: I don't know. What does that mean?

 

379

00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,940

>> Parker: I think that, I don't know, man.

 

380

00:16:14,980 --> 00:16:17,596

>> Parker: I think makes his feet stink.

 

381

00:16:17,708 --> 00:16:19,060

>> Parker: Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was just.

 

382

00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,124

>> Freddy: Like, I don't know.

 

383

00:16:20,252 --> 00:16:23,000

>> Parker: I think he was trying to say, I don't fucking know.

 

384

00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:25,116

>> Parker: Yeah, I think. I think basically it was.

 

385

00:16:25,148 --> 00:16:26,960

>> Parker: I think that was his way of being like,

 

386

00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:31,012

right, or go fuck yourself for Alan.

 

387

00:16:31,196 --> 00:16:32,440

>> Parker: Yes. Yeah.

 

388

00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:35,060

>> Parker: Doesn't understand the question. He's like, hey, go fuck yourself.

 

389

00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:38,044

>> Freddy: And you're like, okay, that's gonna be my new go,

 

390

00:16:38,092 --> 00:16:39,200

go fuck yourself.

 

391

00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,754

I don't like the way. I don't like the way you do

 

392

00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:46,070

things. Garlic, make my feet.

 

393

00:16:48,330 --> 00:16:51,202

>> Parker: Cracker. Throw cracker into the end,

 

394

00:16:51,226 --> 00:16:52,350

and they'll be like, damn.

 

395

00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:01,458

Ah, it's just crackers.

 

396

00:17:01,634 --> 00:17:04,030

>> Parker: He'll be a cracker. He's talking to his mom.

 

397

00:17:07,759 --> 00:17:10,639

>> Parker: She's like, I'll crack you. Let me go get one of these, things

 

398

00:17:10,679 --> 00:17:11,779

with switches outside.

 

399

00:17:12,479 --> 00:17:13,367

>> Parker: Oh, shit.

 

400

00:17:13,463 --> 00:17:14,775

>> Parker: Monopoly go all over again.

 

401

00:17:14,847 --> 00:17:16,779

>> Parker: Monopoly go all over again.

 

402

00:17:17,959 --> 00:17:19,240

>> Parker: Monopoly. No.

 

403

00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:20,621

>> Freddy: on that note, I have.

 

404

00:17:20,725 --> 00:17:21,189

>> Parker: Here we go.

 

405

00:17:21,229 --> 00:17:23,893

>> Freddy: Finally deleted the game. Bending

 

406

00:17:24,021 --> 00:17:26,781

out loop about Monopoly.

 

407

00:17:26,805 --> 00:17:26,941

>> Parker: Go.

 

408

00:17:26,965 --> 00:17:29,301

>> Freddy: And me. I have finally deleted the game.

 

409

00:17:29,445 --> 00:17:30,245

>> Parker: Beat the addiction.

 

410

00:17:30,277 --> 00:17:32,425

>> Freddy: No longer addicted to Monopoly.

 

411

00:17:32,557 --> 00:17:35,546

>> Parker: What are you addicted to instead? Hardcore

 

412

00:17:35,578 --> 00:17:36,350

gambling

 

413

00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:42,070

with a black tar heroin. It's way cheaper.

 

414

00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:46,670

I don't have to walk as much.

 

415

00:17:51,890 --> 00:17:54,682

Oh, well, I'm glad you beat it. I'm glad you beat that addiction. That's

 

416

00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:57,322

hard, man. Those games are. They're made to be

 

417

00:17:57,346 --> 00:17:58,000

addicting.

 

418

00:17:58,130 --> 00:18:00,986

>> Freddy: I'm telling you, man, I had to do the same thing with a, clash

 

419

00:18:01,042 --> 00:18:03,558

clans, man. I had rid of that, too, man.

 

420

00:18:04,178 --> 00:18:07,122

That was, like, a two year addiction. Don't even talk about

 

421

00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,238

candy crust.

 

422

00:18:09,098 --> 00:18:10,874

>> Parker: I never played any of those things.

 

423

00:18:11,066 --> 00:18:12,394

>> Parker: I never did that either.

 

424

00:18:12,546 --> 00:18:14,418

>> Freddy: Yeah, candy crust had me, dude.

 

425

00:18:14,458 --> 00:18:17,158

>> Parker: Like, I only play.

 

426

00:18:17,578 --> 00:18:20,298

I only play the most boring. I only do math problems.

 

427

00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:23,434

>> Freddy: Yeah, I was, I got my

 

428

00:18:23,466 --> 00:18:24,736

zone on my, phone.

 

429

00:18:24,912 --> 00:18:27,872

>> Parker: Well, no, what it is, it pops up a math problem, and then I think about it for a

 

430

00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,768

couple days. It's like, eight plus eight plus five.

 

431

00:18:30,808 --> 00:18:31,264

And I'm like,

 

432

00:18:31,246 --> 00:18:32,946

>> Parker: M see, I google it.

 

433

00:18:34,886 --> 00:18:35,806

>> Parker: And a week later.

 

434

00:18:35,886 --> 00:18:37,478

>> Parker: How much is eight plus five?

 

435

00:18:37,662 --> 00:18:39,986

>> Parker: Yeah, Google's like, I don't know, man.

 

436

00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:42,186

Close enough.

 

437

00:18:44,246 --> 00:18:45,986

It's more than eight, I guess.

 

438

00:18:47,086 --> 00:18:49,226

Like, I don't fucking know. I'm a machine.

 

439

00:18:53,476 --> 00:18:56,372

I did see some, crazy AI stuff, but just.

 

440

00:18:56,444 --> 00:18:59,356

It's just crazy. But I also learned more about AI since

 

441

00:18:59,396 --> 00:19:02,228

the last time we talked about it on the show. Right. And it's. And it

 

442

00:19:02,252 --> 00:19:04,900

is essentially just super fast Google. At this point, it's not

 

443

00:19:04,948 --> 00:19:07,496

actually thinking. No, generally speaking,

 

444

00:19:07,796 --> 00:19:10,536

but, like, it's just, like, a really fast googler.

 

445

00:19:11,356 --> 00:19:12,336

>> Freddy: But the

 

446

00:19:14,036 --> 00:19:15,960

art is where it gets me.

 

447

00:19:16,068 --> 00:19:18,856

>> Parker: Sure, sure. Because you

 

448

00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:21,824

copy it from other. You take inspiration from other artists. And

 

449

00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,076

it's not that you can't do that as an artist,

 

450

00:19:24,816 --> 00:19:26,248

but it's quick, too.

 

451

00:19:26,312 --> 00:19:29,264

>> Freddy: Like, it's. It's so fair. Like, I

 

452

00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,168

heard a guy, he was talking about, like, his.

 

453

00:19:32,232 --> 00:19:34,992

He used to pay. It was a comedian, and

 

454

00:19:35,144 --> 00:19:37,696

he used to pay someone to do his,

 

455

00:19:37,776 --> 00:19:40,752

like, flyers and posters for

 

456

00:19:40,784 --> 00:19:43,704

his sets and shows and stuff like that. And then he was like, fuck it.

 

457

00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,632

I'll just pay a Aihdemdeh and then tell

 

458

00:19:46,704 --> 00:19:48,336

AI what I want.

 

459

00:19:48,496 --> 00:19:48,832

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

460

00:19:48,864 --> 00:19:51,760

>> Freddy: And then. And then, like, put the script

 

461

00:19:51,808 --> 00:19:54,416

at the bottom right, I'm saying. And he's

 

462

00:19:54,456 --> 00:19:56,984

like. He said, it's perfect.

 

463

00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:57,536

It's.

 

464

00:19:57,656 --> 00:19:59,556

>> Parker: Yeah, it works. I mean, that's the thing.

 

465

00:20:01,536 --> 00:20:04,528

>> Freddy: Like, you know, like thousands of dollars or whatever.

 

466

00:20:04,632 --> 00:20:05,320

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

467

00:20:05,488 --> 00:20:08,296

>> Freddy: And yeah, it's called a job. Yeah. I'm saying now

 

468

00:20:08,376 --> 00:20:11,072

a guys take a job slowly but surely taking

 

469

00:20:11,184 --> 00:20:11,944

our jobs.

 

470

00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,280

>> Parker: And took our germ.

 

471

00:20:13,368 --> 00:20:16,196

>> Freddy: They worried about mexican immigrants.

 

472

00:20:17,276 --> 00:20:18,616

>> Parker: What if the AI.

 

473

00:20:28,716 --> 00:20:30,896

>> Freddy: Was born in the United States?

 

474

00:20:33,796 --> 00:20:35,896

>> Parker: I am an american. Like, m. You

 

475

00:20:37,556 --> 00:20:38,816

give me a break.

 

476

00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,988

>> Freddy: What's AI, start learning how to pick fruit. It's gonna be over,

 

477

00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:42,380

man.

 

478

00:20:42,476 --> 00:20:43,672

>> Parker: Yeah, it's over.

 

479

00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:48,056

Can't wait. Can't wait for that day, though. Over.

 

480

00:20:48,144 --> 00:20:50,612

>> Freddy: AI's gonna be oranges on,

 

481

00:20:51,472 --> 00:20:51,952

basically.

 

482

00:20:51,992 --> 00:20:54,496

>> Parker: It's gonna do like oranges.

 

483

00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,528

>> Parker: That's gonna be a picture of AI.

 

484

00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,412

>> Parker: Going, ah,

 

485

00:21:03,952 --> 00:21:06,896

we're done then. It'll be okay. I don't think. I think we got a few

 

486

00:21:06,944 --> 00:21:09,520

weeks before that happens. Hopefully. Or at least before the Olympics, I

 

487

00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:12,320

hope after the Olympics. After the

 

488

00:21:12,336 --> 00:21:15,082

Olympics. The Olympics, like next week. Two weeks.

 

489

00:21:15,242 --> 00:21:16,906

Two weeks coming up, man.

 

490

00:21:17,034 --> 00:21:19,930

>> Freddy: In the end of the month. M. I

 

491

00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,386

think it is the breakdown. I'm excited, dude.

 

492

00:21:22,434 --> 00:21:23,954

I'm high.

 

493

00:21:24,058 --> 00:21:26,394

>> Parker: 26. Oh, I do know. I know.

 

494

00:21:26,538 --> 00:21:27,722

>> Freddy: I love the Olympics, man.

 

495

00:21:27,722 --> 00:21:29,342

>> Parker: Ah, there's a rumor that

 

496

00:21:30,522 --> 00:21:33,378

I heard a rumor that our roving reporter on the beat

 

497

00:21:33,450 --> 00:21:36,442

may have made it to Olympic village just this

 

498

00:21:36,482 --> 00:21:39,394

afternoon. So we're gonna try and get him on next week. That

 

499

00:21:39,418 --> 00:21:42,170

was after he's experienced France a little bit because it's in

 

500

00:21:42,186 --> 00:21:42,754

Paris this year.

 

501

00:21:42,778 --> 00:21:45,670

>> Freddy: Right, right. That was the best thing about

 

502

00:21:45,726 --> 00:21:48,094

COVID that they canceled the

 

503

00:21:48,118 --> 00:21:51,006

Olympics and now

 

504

00:21:51,054 --> 00:21:54,014

we get, like, two Olympics, like, kind of sort

 

505

00:21:54,038 --> 00:21:54,790

of back to back.

 

506

00:21:54,846 --> 00:21:56,454

>> Parker: Do we? Is that how that works? I don't even know.

 

507

00:21:56,478 --> 00:21:58,870

>> Parker: Yeah, because we got 20.

 

508

00:21:58,926 --> 00:22:01,414

>> Freddy: Winner 2020 got canceled.

 

509

00:22:01,558 --> 00:22:04,334

So 21. Yeah, it happened in

 

510

00:22:04,358 --> 00:22:07,014

21. So, like, instead of waiting four

 

511

00:22:07,078 --> 00:22:08,942

years, we only had to wait three years.

 

512

00:22:08,982 --> 00:22:11,412

>> Parker: And so, like, so now is it.

 

513

00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:13,648

>> Freddy: Now we're back on track.

 

514

00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:14,464

>> Parker: Okay. Okay.

 

515

00:22:14,528 --> 00:22:16,452

>> Freddy: Yeah, now we're back on track. Yeah.

 

516

00:22:17,352 --> 00:22:19,692

>> Parker: I don't want the AI to take our Olympic jobs.

 

517

00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:23,060

>> Freddy: I think, Chicago got

 

518

00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,340

2032.

 

519

00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,448

2032.

 

520

00:22:32,504 --> 00:22:34,500

>> Parker: Something in

 

521

00:22:35,660 --> 00:22:38,500

the next Olympics are going

 

522

00:22:38,540 --> 00:22:39,320

to be.

 

523

00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:44,120

And Cortina de Pezzle

 

524

00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:48,572

in February. 2026. Then LA in

 

525

00:22:48,596 --> 00:22:50,160

February or July. La.

 

526

00:22:50,540 --> 00:22:51,116

>> Parker: Woman.

 

527

00:22:51,228 --> 00:22:52,788

>> Parker: Brisbane, Australia in

 

528

00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:55,000

2022.

 

529

00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:56,490

>> Freddy: Mike, g'day.

 

530

00:22:59,830 --> 00:23:02,622

>> Parker: There were another metal in me pants. I don't fucking

 

531

00:23:02,646 --> 00:23:03,990

know. What is that even. That's terrible.

 

532

00:23:04,030 --> 00:23:06,410

>> Freddy: Kangaroo Jack in the building.

 

533

00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:12,440

>> Parker: Olympics sponsored by kangaroo.

 

534

00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:14,120

Kangaroo.

 

535

00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:18,564

I laugh every time I see those trucks. Yeah,

 

536

00:23:18,692 --> 00:23:20,676

I love it. I love it so much, Fred.

 

537

00:23:20,828 --> 00:23:23,396

>> Freddy: I'm good because I see them, too, all the time.

 

538

00:23:23,468 --> 00:23:24,800

>> Parker: Yeah, now you're like, hey, can't understand.

 

539

00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:25,640

>> Freddy: kangaroo.

 

540

00:23:26,420 --> 00:23:29,388

>> Parker: Yeah. So, yeah, if

 

541

00:23:29,404 --> 00:23:31,212

I ever do look for a roofing company, you know, it's.

 

542

00:23:31,236 --> 00:23:32,914

>> Freddy: Gonna be, boy, that's who I'm using.

 

543

00:23:33,092 --> 00:23:35,942

>> Parker: I can't help it. They got the. Now they have the

 

544

00:23:35,966 --> 00:23:38,886

recognition in my. In my heart, in my soul that I'm like,

 

545

00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:41,918

hey, those are my. I trust those guys. I don't know why

 

546

00:23:41,934 --> 00:23:43,246

I trust that kangaroo.

 

547

00:23:43,438 --> 00:23:46,426

>> Freddy: If I'm getting some, If I'm getting yard work done. No,

 

548

00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:49,218

I'm calling lawn and order the weed man.

 

549

00:23:49,274 --> 00:23:52,242

No, I'm calling weed man.

 

550

00:23:52,346 --> 00:23:54,938

Yeah, yeah, the weed man. Yep.

 

551

00:23:55,114 --> 00:23:55,730

>> Parker: So funny.

 

552

00:23:55,770 --> 00:23:58,752

>> Freddy: You get a free oz with every, contract. Yeah, you

 

553

00:23:58,776 --> 00:23:59,340

do.

 

554

00:24:03,210 --> 00:24:04,670

I know my weed.

 

555

00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:07,954

>> Parker: I need to change, landscapers, then, I guess. Yeah.

 

556

00:24:07,954 --> 00:24:10,938

>> Freddy: you do. You call them. I'm looking for the

 

557

00:24:10,978 --> 00:24:11,914

weed man.

 

558

00:24:12,026 --> 00:24:14,986

>> Parker: And they're like, yeah, this is the weed man. Shirley. My

 

559

00:24:15,002 --> 00:24:17,558

name is Shirley. I'm the weed man. What do you need, honey?

 

560

00:24:18,898 --> 00:24:20,278

Can I help you?

 

561

00:24:20,938 --> 00:24:23,730

>> Freddy: My brother. Me and my brother, sue, started a

 

562

00:24:23,754 --> 00:24:24,318

business.

 

563

00:24:25,418 --> 00:24:27,838

>> Parker: We got all the weeds you can eat, brother.

 

564

00:24:32,728 --> 00:24:35,714

got, You name it, we'll

 

565

00:24:35,746 --> 00:24:36,186

eat it.

 

566

00:24:36,242 --> 00:24:37,518

>> Freddy: We got the Bermuda

 

567

00:24:39,058 --> 00:24:40,318

weeds. Yeah.

 

568

00:24:40,778 --> 00:24:43,626

>> Parker: I wanted to hire our old house. I wanted to

 

569

00:24:43,642 --> 00:24:46,362

hire goats to eat all of our stuff. And my

 

570

00:24:46,410 --> 00:24:49,386

wife. My wife was kind of on board with it, but then. Not.

 

571

00:24:49,442 --> 00:24:50,690

I thought that was a great idea.

 

572

00:24:50,754 --> 00:24:51,398

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

573

00:24:52,818 --> 00:24:55,818

>> Parker: No, no, no. You. There's a company that you pay, and they bring. They

 

574

00:24:55,858 --> 00:24:58,488

fence off your yard, your area, and I. And they just

 

575

00:24:58,528 --> 00:24:59,456

unleash goats for, like.

 

576

00:24:59,472 --> 00:25:01,264

>> Parker: A week and let you eat all the goats.

 

577

00:25:01,296 --> 00:25:02,868

>> Parker: Eat all the shit.

 

578

00:25:03,248 --> 00:25:04,968

>> Freddy: They eat the shit that they shit.

 

579

00:25:05,008 --> 00:25:07,920

>> Parker: They. Well, no, they probably do, but they eat, like, all the, like,

 

580

00:25:07,984 --> 00:25:09,944

kudzu or whatever. Green, basically.

 

581

00:25:10,096 --> 00:25:13,048

>> Freddy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right.

 

582

00:25:13,168 --> 00:25:15,824

>> Parker: So they'll, like, take care of for us. It was kudzu in the old

 

583

00:25:15,856 --> 00:25:18,856

place. So I was like, I'll be so cool to,

 

584

00:25:18,872 --> 00:25:21,832

like, just have these goats out here just eating

 

585

00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,774

up all the time. Exactly

 

586

00:25:24,806 --> 00:25:27,742

like that. Exactly like that.

 

587

00:25:27,870 --> 00:25:30,366

But then I was like, maybe I should get a, like, one

 

588

00:25:30,422 --> 00:25:31,046

goat.

 

589

00:25:31,182 --> 00:25:31,966

>> Freddy: One goat.

 

590

00:25:32,062 --> 00:25:34,102

>> Parker: And then let the goat just do his job.

 

591

00:25:34,190 --> 00:25:34,818

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

592

00:25:35,438 --> 00:25:38,174

>> Freddy: And then when you feed it, you can carry that motherfucker.

 

593

00:25:38,206 --> 00:25:39,578

>> Parker: I don't have to feed it.

 

594

00:25:39,958 --> 00:25:41,454

>> Freddy: No, you can carry it.

 

595

00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:44,142

>> Parker: Oh, I'll carry it. Don't you worry about that.

 

596

00:25:44,230 --> 00:25:45,582

>> Freddy: Oh, you could jerk it.

 

597

00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:48,258

>> Parker: I'll was. Well, that house. You think I'm gonna get it.

 

598

00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:50,362

>> Freddy: You can. Jamaican jerky.

 

599

00:25:50,430 --> 00:25:53,346

>> Parker: It's gotta be. You can jerk it, jerk it, jerk it. To

 

600

00:25:53,362 --> 00:25:56,146

get it motivated, you have to either. Have to jerk it to the beginning or jerk it to the

 

601

00:25:56,162 --> 00:25:56,718

end.

 

602

00:25:57,138 --> 00:25:58,518

>> Parker: You gotta jerk it.

 

603

00:26:00,138 --> 00:26:02,978

>> Parker: I'm like, all right, goat, go eat this patch and I'll

 

604

00:26:03,138 --> 00:26:04,118

jerk you.

 

605

00:26:06,298 --> 00:26:07,978

>> Freddy: You gotta give it motivation.

 

606

00:26:08,058 --> 00:26:11,058

>> Parker: Yeah, I'm like, get out there and you gotta eat a lot today, goat.

 

607

00:26:11,218 --> 00:26:12,678

A lot of jerking to do.

 

608

00:26:17,228 --> 00:26:19,612

>> Freddy: That is the craziest thing for a dish,

 

609

00:26:19,660 --> 00:26:20,252

man.

 

610

00:26:20,420 --> 00:26:23,348

>> Parker: Jerk goat jerk. I don't really

 

611

00:26:23,388 --> 00:26:25,848

know where jerk came from, but it's delicious.

 

612

00:26:26,148 --> 00:26:28,964

>> Freddy: Yeah, it's good. It is good. I had that jerk

 

613

00:26:28,996 --> 00:26:29,688

chicken.

 

614

00:26:30,338 --> 00:26:32,676

>> Parker: M. It's jamaican jerk chicken,

 

615

00:26:32,772 --> 00:26:33,408

right?

 

616

00:26:35,948 --> 00:26:38,328

So some guy like, hello, brother.

 

617

00:26:39,828 --> 00:26:40,844

>> Freddy: Lord of Mercy.

 

618

00:26:40,956 --> 00:26:42,088

>> Parker: Lord have mercy.

 

619

00:26:45,748 --> 00:26:48,716

>> Freddy: We don't choke the chickens. We jerk them.

 

620

00:26:48,892 --> 00:26:49,948

>> Parker: Jerk the goats.

 

621

00:26:50,068 --> 00:26:51,408

>> Parker: We jerk the goats.

 

622

00:26:51,748 --> 00:26:54,740

>> Parker: That's probably what it was. He was like, I'm on this goat is a

 

623

00:26:54,764 --> 00:26:57,764

real jerk. And they're like, done. Cook it up.

 

624

00:26:57,836 --> 00:27:00,564

>> Freddy: Yeah, you know how your asshole goats, like,

 

625

00:27:00,676 --> 00:27:02,028

terrorize the village?

 

626

00:27:02,148 --> 00:27:05,060

>> Parker: Yeah. They're like, every one of these goats is a jerk. And they're like, all right, let's

 

627

00:27:05,084 --> 00:27:07,928

cook them. Yeah, we'll burn them.

 

628

00:27:08,548 --> 00:27:10,060

>> Freddy: That may be where it came from.

 

629

00:27:10,084 --> 00:27:11,700

>> Parker: Hey, it wouldn't surprise me one bit, man.

 

630

00:27:11,764 --> 00:27:14,720

>> Freddy: Yeah, I heard an old

 

631

00:27:14,784 --> 00:27:17,288

fable one time. They would said,

 

632

00:27:17,898 --> 00:27:19,610

it was old chinese fable.

 

633

00:27:19,794 --> 00:27:20,558

>> Parker: Fable.

 

634

00:27:22,898 --> 00:27:24,958

>> Freddy: It kind of goes like this. There's like,

 

635

00:27:26,128 --> 00:27:28,808

one time in village, long time

 

636

00:27:28,848 --> 00:27:29,428

ago.

 

637

00:27:30,128 --> 00:27:33,056

>> Parker: This is not a chinese voice, by the way, just to make it not racist at

 

638

00:27:33,072 --> 00:27:35,638

all. it's okay, because if it's a

 

639

00:27:35,678 --> 00:27:38,270

chinese thing, but he does it in a. Not a chinese

 

640

00:27:38,294 --> 00:27:38,898

voice.

 

641

00:27:41,548 --> 00:27:43,692

>> Parker: Can't do the voice like Parker does.

 

642

00:27:43,860 --> 00:27:45,368

>> Parker: That was boo.

 

643

00:27:46,428 --> 00:27:48,196

>> Freddy: That was very mean, boo.

 

644

00:27:48,252 --> 00:27:50,008

>> Parker: He terrorized everyone.

 

645

00:27:50,668 --> 00:27:53,356

>> Freddy: He terrorized old lady, terrorized old

 

646

00:27:53,412 --> 00:27:55,892

children. One

 

647

00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:58,916

day, big

 

648

00:27:59,012 --> 00:28:00,048

a festival.

 

649

00:28:01,028 --> 00:28:01,836

>> Parker: That was pretty good.

 

650

00:28:01,892 --> 00:28:03,208

>> Freddy: Everyone happy.

 

651

00:28:04,678 --> 00:28:06,018

>> Parker: Mister Miyagi.

 

652

00:28:06,598 --> 00:28:08,258

>> Parker: It is Mister Miyagi.

 

653

00:28:11,158 --> 00:28:13,338

>> Freddy: I'm so happy you got there.

 

654

00:28:15,518 --> 00:28:18,298

You remembered karate did three.

 

655

00:28:21,438 --> 00:28:23,134

>> Parker: Unfortunately, I did.

 

656

00:28:23,246 --> 00:28:25,966

>> Parker: All right, so we need to hear the rest of the. I need to know that. What happened?

 

657

00:28:25,982 --> 00:28:27,018

>> Freddy: Karate kid

 

658

00:28:28,958 --> 00:28:30,738

beg a festival.

 

659

00:28:31,938 --> 00:28:33,438

Everyone happy.

 

660

00:28:35,098 --> 00:28:37,562

What do you mean? Bulls make good

 

661

00:28:37,610 --> 00:28:38,278

soup.

 

662

00:28:41,538 --> 00:28:42,626

>> Parker: That's the end of the fable.

 

663

00:28:42,722 --> 00:28:44,038

>> Freddy: Rest in peace.

 

664

00:28:45,338 --> 00:28:47,358

>> Parker: Yeah, that was. That's really.

 

665

00:28:50,258 --> 00:28:53,154

>> Freddy: I didn't think I would get it. I didn't think I would get it. I'm

 

666

00:28:53,186 --> 00:28:54,994

so happy you guys got it.

 

667

00:28:55,026 --> 00:28:57,916

>> Parker: We got it. All right. We got it. You're gonna get

 

668

00:28:57,932 --> 00:29:00,008

it right now. When we take a quick break

 

669

00:29:01,508 --> 00:29:04,188

with more, we'll take a quicker

 

670

00:29:04,228 --> 00:29:04,808

break.

 

671

00:29:09,508 --> 00:29:11,940

You'll be much happy if turn off

 

672

00:29:12,044 --> 00:29:14,900

now. The

 

673

00:29:14,924 --> 00:29:17,892

Black Lincoln collective podcast will return after

 

674

00:29:17,940 --> 00:29:19,468

a word, from our sponsors.

 

675

00:29:33,818 --> 00:29:36,642

Welcome back to the Black Lincoln Collective

 

676

00:29:36,690 --> 00:29:39,078

podcast. This week,

 

677

00:29:39,378 --> 00:29:41,798

on Masturbator Peace theater.

 

678

00:29:42,658 --> 00:29:45,514

We take you to a

 

679

00:29:45,546 --> 00:29:48,420

room. A group of friends are

 

680

00:29:48,444 --> 00:29:50,596

playing rock paper

 

681

00:29:50,732 --> 00:29:53,448

scissors at a local tournament.

 

682

00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:56,888

And the scene begins

 

683

00:29:57,788 --> 00:29:58,528

now.

 

684

00:30:01,228 --> 00:30:03,116

>> Freddy: Rock paper, scissors. Paper scissors.

 

685

00:30:03,132 --> 00:30:03,848

>> Parker: Scissors.

 

686

00:30:04,668 --> 00:30:05,968

>> Parker: Paper, scissors.

 

687

00:30:06,348 --> 00:30:07,088

>> Parker: Stop,

 

688

00:30:11,268 --> 00:30:12,168

Kelly.

 

689

00:30:15,958 --> 00:30:17,166

>> Freddy: Who are you?

 

690

00:30:17,342 --> 00:30:19,618

>> Parker: I am the master of rock.

 

691

00:30:22,758 --> 00:30:25,686

>> Parker: Master holds out fist. Players all look at each other and

 

692

00:30:25,702 --> 00:30:26,538

then laugh.

 

693

00:30:30,598 --> 00:30:32,098

Well, I've got paper.

 

694

00:30:34,158 --> 00:30:35,938

>> Parker: And I have a sword.

 

695

00:30:37,598 --> 00:30:40,146

>> Freddy: There's no swords and rock papers

 

696

00:30:40,222 --> 00:30:40,998

scissors.

 

697

00:30:41,338 --> 00:30:43,398

>> Parker: That is where you are mistaken.

 

698

00:30:44,498 --> 00:30:46,918

I am here ah, to tell story of

 

699

00:30:47,538 --> 00:30:49,838

rock sword

 

700

00:30:50,258 --> 00:30:50,968

firecracker.

 

701

00:30:53,908 --> 00:30:56,212

>> Freddy: I thought it was rock paper scissors.

 

702

00:30:56,340 --> 00:30:59,180

>> Parker: You are wrong. The

 

703

00:30:59,204 --> 00:31:01,644

ancient game has been dishonored by m scissors and

 

704

00:31:01,676 --> 00:31:04,620

paper. It is a mockery of true art. Of

 

705

00:31:04,644 --> 00:31:07,378

the challenge. Shall I tell you the story?

 

706

00:31:08,518 --> 00:31:09,258

>> Freddy: Sure.

 

707

00:31:10,158 --> 00:31:13,158

>> Parker: If you wish to hear a story, you must

 

708

00:31:13,198 --> 00:31:15,338

say. Oh yes sir, master.

 

709

00:31:16,238 --> 00:31:18,078

>> Parker: Yes, master.

 

710

00:31:18,468 --> 00:31:20,128

>> Parker: say pretty please.

 

711

00:31:21,108 --> 00:31:22,008

>> Freddy: Pretty

 

712

00:31:22,788 --> 00:31:24,340

priest.

 

713

00:31:24,404 --> 00:31:27,204

>> Parker: Pretty priest with a cherry on blossom on

 

714

00:31:27,236 --> 00:31:30,048

top. Jesus. Come on.

 

715

00:31:31,108 --> 00:31:32,928

Fine. I will tell the story.

 

716

00:31:34,228 --> 00:31:35,276

>> Parker: You tell us what?

 

717

00:31:35,372 --> 00:31:36,208

>> Parker: The story.

 

718

00:31:36,788 --> 00:31:37,688

>> Parker: Okay.

 

719

00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:40,916

>> Parker: The master can. The master can pull out a

 

720

00:31:40,932 --> 00:31:43,860

scroll and something happens. The master can act out

 

721

00:31:43,884 --> 00:31:46,836

the story and whatever. Okay. I can do whatever I want cuz I'm the master.

 

722

00:31:46,972 --> 00:31:49,208

It's all beginning with a rock.

 

723

00:31:51,658 --> 00:31:54,328

>> Freddy: M. You mean like the wrestler?

 

724

00:31:54,708 --> 00:31:57,564

>> Parker: No. Rock was big fat lazy

 

725

00:31:57,596 --> 00:32:00,454

slob like Parker. But

 

726

00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:03,118

he was unmovable. Also like Parker,

 

727

00:32:03,278 --> 00:32:06,254

he was champion sumo wrestler. Because no one could

 

728

00:32:06,326 --> 00:32:08,758

move him. He won a rue every

 

729

00:32:08,838 --> 00:32:11,574

match. And then sent a

 

730

00:32:11,606 --> 00:32:14,590

challenge out to all warriors that no

 

731

00:32:14,614 --> 00:32:17,230

one could defeat him. So Samurai and

 

732

00:32:17,254 --> 00:32:19,718

Ninja from all over Asia came to fight

 

733

00:32:19,758 --> 00:32:22,662

him. But even a sword could not pierce

 

734

00:32:22,710 --> 00:32:25,308

his rock like skin. But

 

735

00:32:25,388 --> 00:32:28,100

then a Magician from distant

 

736

00:32:28,140 --> 00:32:30,644

land came with a mighty weapon. O

 

737

00:32:30,692 --> 00:32:33,628

firecracker. No one

 

738

00:32:33,684 --> 00:32:36,560

had seen such a huge firecracker before.

 

739

00:32:36,980 --> 00:32:38,920

>> Parker: Excuse me while I whip this out.

 

740

00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:42,244

>> Parker: Magician faced off against the rock.

 

741

00:32:42,412 --> 00:32:45,212

He littered a fuse and placed at the rock's

 

742

00:32:45,236 --> 00:32:48,000

feet. The rock did not care.

 

743

00:32:48,580 --> 00:32:51,080

He did not think anything could defeat him.

 

744

00:32:51,590 --> 00:32:53,718

Suddenly there was huge

 

745

00:32:53,814 --> 00:32:56,382

explosion. There were

 

746

00:32:56,406 --> 00:32:59,382

crimes and screams of pain. And when the

 

747

00:32:59,406 --> 00:33:02,390

smoke cleared, the rock had fallen. That was

 

748

00:33:02,430 --> 00:33:05,190

french. Everyone stood quietly.

 

749

00:33:05,310 --> 00:33:07,370

They could not believe their eyes.

 

750

00:33:08,430 --> 00:33:11,422

A few began to cry. The

 

751

00:33:11,446 --> 00:33:13,902

magician's laugh broke the silence. And he pulled

 

752

00:33:13,926 --> 00:33:16,894

another even bigger firecracker

 

753

00:33:17,062 --> 00:33:19,930

from his robes. The magician yelled,

 

754

00:33:20,310 --> 00:33:22,970

I shall rid this land of rock forever.

 

755

00:33:24,070 --> 00:33:26,766

He placed a firecracker next to rock and lit

 

756

00:33:26,798 --> 00:33:29,520

it. But then a young one

 

757

00:33:29,672 --> 00:33:32,360

who was a big fan and collected all rock

 

758

00:33:32,392 --> 00:33:34,804

memorabilia sprang into action.

 

759

00:33:35,544 --> 00:33:38,244

He snatched up a sword. A swish

 

760

00:33:38,664 --> 00:33:41,664

cut to the fuse. Save a rock

 

761

00:33:41,704 --> 00:33:42,924

from destruction.

 

762

00:33:44,154 --> 00:33:44,858

Whoa.

 

763

00:33:44,986 --> 00:33:46,054

>> Parker: Amazing.

 

764

00:33:46,634 --> 00:33:48,134

>> Freddy: Great story.

 

765

00:33:48,754 --> 00:33:51,410

>> Parker: So I ask that you no longer dishonor a

 

766

00:33:51,442 --> 00:33:53,614

game with scissor and paper.

 

767

00:33:54,514 --> 00:33:55,734

Yes, master.

 

768

00:33:56,274 --> 00:33:57,934

>> Freddy: We will, master.

 

769

00:33:59,754 --> 00:34:00,602

>> Parker: Ready?

 

770

00:34:00,778 --> 00:34:03,738

>> Freddy: Bye. Rock.

 

771

00:34:03,786 --> 00:34:04,818

>> Parker: Rock, sword.

 

772

00:34:04,906 --> 00:34:05,362

>> Parker: Sword.

 

773

00:34:05,458 --> 00:34:06,642

>> Freddy: Firecracker.

 

774

00:34:06,698 --> 00:34:09,014

>> Parker: Firecracker. karate

 

775

00:34:09,054 --> 00:34:09,794

sounds.

 

776

00:34:13,694 --> 00:34:15,634

>> Freddy: That's more fun.

 

777

00:34:16,694 --> 00:34:19,246

Rock, rock, paper

 

778

00:34:19,430 --> 00:34:20,194

sword.

 

779

00:34:23,414 --> 00:34:26,074

>> Parker: Wow, that did not take nearly as long as we had hoped.

 

780

00:34:27,094 --> 00:34:30,086

All except one do rock and does dynamite and blows

 

781

00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:32,310

them up into play. Great play for guys.

 

782

00:34:32,422 --> 00:34:33,742

>> Parker: So they all die at the end.

 

783

00:34:33,798 --> 00:34:36,434

>> Parker: They all died at the end. Which is exactly how you expected

 

784

00:34:37,004 --> 00:34:39,860

to be. So there you go. There's

 

785

00:34:39,892 --> 00:34:40,244

our,

 

786

00:34:40,194 --> 00:34:42,080

>> Freddy: Oh, I'm rock, paper, scissors.

 

787

00:34:42,232 --> 00:34:43,400

>> Parker: Thank you for listening.

 

788

00:34:43,472 --> 00:34:43,800

>> Parker: This.

 

789

00:34:43,872 --> 00:34:44,884

>> Parker: This is by.

 

790

00:34:49,984 --> 00:34:51,760

>> Freddy: So where did the sword come from?

 

791

00:34:51,872 --> 00:34:52,456

>> Parker: Like, that's.

 

792

00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:52,640

>> Freddy: What.

 

793

00:34:52,672 --> 00:34:54,004

>> Parker: Did you not hear the story?

 

794

00:34:56,584 --> 00:34:59,080

Yeah, the kids of rock fan, the rocks

 

795

00:34:59,112 --> 00:35:01,848

fan grabbed the sword and cut the

 

796

00:35:01,976 --> 00:35:04,634

firecracker. Right?

 

797

00:35:05,534 --> 00:35:06,862

>> Parker: Makes perfect sense.

 

798

00:35:07,038 --> 00:35:08,234

>> Parker: Can you smell?

 

799

00:35:10,214 --> 00:35:11,246

>> Freddy: Beats firecracker.

 

800

00:35:11,270 --> 00:35:13,982

>> Parker: Now, I guess sword means anything, man.

 

801

00:35:14,078 --> 00:35:14,550

Right?

 

802

00:35:14,662 --> 00:35:15,262

>> Parker: Rock.

 

803

00:35:15,358 --> 00:35:17,670

>> Parker: So rock beats sword.

 

804

00:35:17,822 --> 00:35:19,942

>> Freddy: So rock swords firecracker.

 

805

00:35:19,958 --> 00:35:21,474

>> Parker: And firecracker beats rock.

 

806

00:35:21,854 --> 00:35:23,834

>> Freddy: Okay, same thing.

 

807

00:35:25,054 --> 00:35:26,286

>> Parker: Yeah, it's no different.

 

808

00:35:26,390 --> 00:35:29,246

>> Freddy: I will not dishonor the game and use paper

 

809

00:35:29,310 --> 00:35:30,166

and scissors.

 

810

00:35:30,310 --> 00:35:32,318

>> Parker: Now, from now on, you're gonna tell your kids.

 

811

00:35:32,486 --> 00:35:35,414

>> Freddy: Yeah. No, you cannot

 

812

00:35:35,494 --> 00:35:36,430

use a paper.

 

813

00:35:36,502 --> 00:35:39,078

>> Parker: And Caesar, ancient master, tell

 

814

00:35:39,126 --> 00:35:41,674

me no use paper and scissor

 

815

00:35:43,934 --> 00:35:44,754

sword.

 

816

00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:50,034

>> Parker: Freddy be running around the house with a sword.

 

817

00:36:03,514 --> 00:36:06,362

>> Parker: well, I hope you don't have a sword. I would not trust having a

 

818

00:36:06,378 --> 00:36:07,810

sword in my house with my kids.

 

819

00:36:07,962 --> 00:36:09,450

>> Freddy: I have a machete.

 

820

00:36:09,642 --> 00:36:10,890

>> Parker: Oh, we all have a machete.

 

821

00:36:10,922 --> 00:36:12,546

>> Freddy: That's the closest. Closest.

 

822

00:36:12,570 --> 00:36:15,174

>> Parker: I was about to pick one. I feel like Alan's about to pick up.

 

823

00:36:16,594 --> 00:36:18,334

He reached back. I don't know.

 

824

00:36:18,674 --> 00:36:20,694

>> Parker: I was gonna get it, but I was like, man,

 

825

00:36:21,684 --> 00:36:22,524

blood and stuff.

 

826

00:36:22,564 --> 00:36:25,388

>> Freddy: You know, it's still

 

827

00:36:25,436 --> 00:36:27,424

got meat hanging off of it.

 

828

00:36:31,744 --> 00:36:32,824

>> Parker: Oh, my gosh.

 

829

00:36:32,824 --> 00:36:35,782

>> Freddy: they sound like at $5 at harbor freight, man.

 

830

00:36:35,878 --> 00:36:37,302

Like, that's the best deal.

 

831

00:36:37,358 --> 00:36:38,154

>> Parker: Oh, yeah.

 

832

00:36:40,414 --> 00:36:42,714

>> Freddy: Harbor freight got a good cheap shit.

 

833

00:36:43,374 --> 00:36:46,310

>> Parker: Well, speaking of harbor freight, did you see the controversy with.

 

834

00:36:46,342 --> 00:36:47,926

Involving Timu lately?

 

835

00:36:48,070 --> 00:36:48,390

>> Freddy: Mm

 

836

00:36:48,372 --> 00:36:50,770

>> Parker: M you know, our temu. I guess it's temu

 

837

00:36:50,946 --> 00:36:53,346

tamu timu, or team. I always thought it was

 

838

00:36:53,354 --> 00:36:56,208

Timu. I thought I it's like,

 

839

00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:58,344

tamu tamu m shopping.

 

840

00:36:58,368 --> 00:37:01,304

>> Freddy: Like a beer. Yeah, I've seen the commercial. I saw the commercials that

 

841

00:37:01,328 --> 00:37:02,972

they have. That's crazy.

 

842

00:37:03,272 --> 00:37:04,144

>> Parker: Tab move.

 

843

00:37:04,248 --> 00:37:06,652

>> Freddy: But I still shop a record beer.

 

844

00:37:08,712 --> 00:37:09,572

>> Parker: Oops.

 

845

00:37:11,952 --> 00:37:14,632

>> Freddy: Honestly, don't. T boo. Got the,

 

846

00:37:14,582 --> 00:37:16,914

Whatever. What you see is what you get.

 

847

00:37:17,018 --> 00:37:18,562

>> Parker: You get, you don't expect.

 

848

00:37:18,642 --> 00:37:21,192

>> Freddy: Yeah, like, yeah, like, they've got.

 

849

00:37:21,232 --> 00:37:21,432

>> Parker: Their.

 

850

00:37:21,472 --> 00:37:24,104

>> Freddy: Their shit is. I'm not gonna say it's high quality.

 

851

00:37:24,168 --> 00:37:25,888

>> Parker: But it's not that it's.

 

852

00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,072

>> Freddy: It's. What you get is what you see.

 

853

00:37:28,112 --> 00:37:30,520

>> Parker: On it is priced according to quality.

 

854

00:37:30,576 --> 00:37:30,960

>> Parker: Yes.

 

855

00:37:31,056 --> 00:37:31,692

>> Freddy: Right?

 

856

00:37:32,392 --> 00:37:33,224

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

857

00:37:33,408 --> 00:37:36,320

>> Parker: What if it looks blue and green? It's gonna be blue and green when

 

858

00:37:36,336 --> 00:37:37,016

you get.

 

859

00:37:37,184 --> 00:37:39,482

>> Freddy: They had these little, like, figurines,

 

860

00:37:40,248 --> 00:37:43,144

and I didn't buy them, but, like, I saw people

 

861

00:37:43,208 --> 00:37:46,024

post them. There's, like, tupac and biggie figurines,

 

862

00:37:46,088 --> 00:37:48,546

and. And they look really good.

 

863

00:37:48,714 --> 00:37:50,482

>> Parker: Yeah, like $3.

 

864

00:37:50,642 --> 00:37:51,170

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

865

00:37:51,266 --> 00:37:53,462

>> Parker: Well, Fred, it's too late now, because

 

866

00:37:54,402 --> 00:37:57,056

the, the warning that we're getting from the

 

867

00:37:57,224 --> 00:37:59,012

Arkansas attorney general.

 

868

00:37:59,312 --> 00:37:59,880

>> Freddy: Oh.

 

869

00:37:59,976 --> 00:38:02,696

>> Parker: Is saying the threat from China is not

 

870

00:38:02,744 --> 00:38:05,528

new and it is real. Tmu or

 

871

00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,344

Temu is not an online marketplace

 

872

00:38:08,408 --> 00:38:11,144

like Amazon or Walmart. It's a data theft business that

 

873

00:38:11,168 --> 00:38:13,562

sells its goods as a means to an end.

 

874

00:38:13,752 --> 00:38:16,358

So, basically, what he's trying to say is

 

875

00:38:16,470 --> 00:38:18,682

Temu gives you a deal on

 

876

00:38:19,062 --> 00:38:22,014

biggie statues because it steals all your data and sells it to

 

877

00:38:22,038 --> 00:38:23,926

China. Or is a Chinese already?

 

878

00:38:24,014 --> 00:38:26,862

>> Parker: Okay, so what's the difference between that and Amazon

 

879

00:38:26,902 --> 00:38:27,334

stealing?

 

880

00:38:27,398 --> 00:38:27,852

>> Freddy: Amazon?

 

881

00:38:28,172 --> 00:38:29,162

>> Parker: well, he said, right?

 

882

00:38:29,162 --> 00:38:31,768

>> Parker: yeah, it's like, no, we can stale it, but the Chinese can't get

 

883

00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:32,280

your.

 

884

00:38:32,416 --> 00:38:33,840

>> Parker: Well, that's exactly. He says so.

 

885

00:38:33,896 --> 00:38:34,184

>> Freddy: It.

 

886

00:38:34,248 --> 00:38:36,672

>> Parker: He said, so. It is common for an online marketplace like

 

887

00:38:36,712 --> 00:38:39,436

Amazon or Walmart to collect certain

 

888

00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:42,036

consumer data as part of the normal course of business.

 

889

00:38:42,204 --> 00:38:45,180

I think we all know that's not what's going on here. Oh, yeah.

 

890

00:38:45,196 --> 00:38:48,108

He's from Arkansas. So last week, Griffin took legal

 

891

00:38:48,180 --> 00:38:50,612

Kansas arc. Yeah, the other. The worst

 

892

00:38:50,652 --> 00:38:53,124

Kansas, whatever. However that

 

893

00:38:53,148 --> 00:38:55,892

is. Griffin took legal action against the chinese

 

894

00:38:55,932 --> 00:38:58,884

fast fashion retailer Temu over what he

 

895

00:38:58,908 --> 00:39:01,512

alleges are deceptive tactics.

 

896

00:39:01,972 --> 00:39:04,628

Really? So, apparently, Temu is a

 

897

00:39:04,660 --> 00:39:05,108

huge.

 

898

00:39:05,220 --> 00:39:07,748

>> Parker: I just hate it that the other countries are taking.

 

899

00:39:07,940 --> 00:39:09,870

>> Freddy: That's it. Yeah.

 

900

00:39:10,006 --> 00:39:12,790

>> Parker: Was doing is selling goods.

 

901

00:39:12,966 --> 00:39:15,918

Rock bottom price not to make a

 

902

00:39:15,950 --> 00:39:18,798

profit off of those timu. But as a way to get

 

903

00:39:18,830 --> 00:39:21,246

into your phone, your device, and collect your

 

904

00:39:21,294 --> 00:39:23,854

data. Griffin said not just

 

905

00:39:23,918 --> 00:39:26,788

traditional consumer data, but using

 

906

00:39:26,860 --> 00:39:28,912

malware, spyware,

 

907

00:39:29,612 --> 00:39:31,712

complete access to your information,

 

908

00:39:32,372 --> 00:39:35,220

mass communication. Take it one step further. Their code

 

909

00:39:35,236 --> 00:39:37,992

is written in such a way to evade detection.

 

910

00:39:38,302 --> 00:39:40,790

Oh, he looks. That's how he

 

911

00:39:40,806 --> 00:39:43,614

sounds. So according to him, m that

 

912

00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:46,414

he said that violates a number of laws

 

913

00:39:46,478 --> 00:39:48,158

in Arkansas.

 

914

00:39:48,310 --> 00:39:51,054

>> Parker: Yeah, the number one law. They're stealing.

 

915

00:39:51,238 --> 00:39:54,134

The american government can't steal from you because somebody else

 

916

00:39:54,158 --> 00:39:54,854

is doing it.

 

917

00:39:54,918 --> 00:39:57,562

>> Parker: Right. We can steal, but you can't.

 

918

00:39:58,102 --> 00:40:01,102

>> Parker: American theft, it's not

 

919

00:40:01,142 --> 00:40:02,242

american theft.

 

920

00:40:07,592 --> 00:40:10,492

>> Freddy: Keep our theft great again. Make ourselves great again.

 

921

00:40:12,112 --> 00:40:15,024

>> Parker: He said we've got a violation of the Arkansas

 

922

00:40:15,088 --> 00:40:17,492

Personal Information Protection act.

 

923

00:40:17,872 --> 00:40:20,840

And we have a violation of the Arkansas Deceptive

 

924

00:40:20,896 --> 00:40:22,768

Trade Practices act.

 

925

00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:24,952

>> Freddy: Must be from southern Japan.

 

926

00:40:25,072 --> 00:40:27,974

>> Parker: So, no, this is the, Arkansas guy. Yeah, I'll get to

 

927

00:40:27,990 --> 00:40:30,950

the chinese guy in a second. All of this against

 

928

00:40:30,998 --> 00:40:33,622

the backdrop of who owns the company, who operates the

 

929

00:40:33,654 --> 00:40:35,864

company, and which ones are former

 

930

00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,920

communist officials. Griffin continued.

 

931

00:40:39,048 --> 00:40:41,648

So there's a lot to unpack here that goes beyond a

 

932

00:40:41,672 --> 00:40:44,576

traditional online marketplace. So now

 

933

00:40:44,616 --> 00:40:47,552

the spokesman from Timmu said, I'm

 

934

00:40:47,624 --> 00:40:50,156

very surprised and disappointed.

 

935

00:40:52,976 --> 00:40:55,656

The company accused the attorney general of filing lawsuit,

 

936

00:40:55,696 --> 00:40:58,632

quote, without any independent of

 

937

00:40:58,664 --> 00:40:59,392

academy.

 

938

00:40:59,424 --> 00:41:02,356

>> Parker: Yeah, he's like, you know what he actually said?

 

939

00:41:03,016 --> 00:41:05,156

Garlic make my feet stink.

 

940

00:41:12,456 --> 00:41:14,696

>> Freddy: Yeah, man. And garlic make my feet.

 

941

00:41:14,776 --> 00:41:17,556

>> Parker: Yeah, that's what he said. Garlic make my feet stink.

 

942

00:41:18,136 --> 00:41:20,636

>> Parker: Garlic. That's hilarious.

 

943

00:41:22,496 --> 00:41:25,146

Oh, you are a, very funny Joe Rogan,

 

944

00:41:26,366 --> 00:41:29,098

you American Arkansas Joe Rogane.

 

945

00:41:29,232 --> 00:41:31,094

And he's like, I, drop of the suit.

 

946

00:41:33,994 --> 00:41:36,866

No, no, didn't drop. The problem is,

 

947

00:41:36,890 --> 00:41:38,854

that's probably what happened, is he bought a suit.

 

948

00:41:39,874 --> 00:41:40,974

Fried chicken,

 

949

00:41:44,034 --> 00:41:47,010

right? You know, he bought a suit. He bought a white, completely

 

950

00:41:47,042 --> 00:41:49,396

white tuxedo, as he would in

 

951

00:41:49,420 --> 00:41:52,372

Arkansas. And then when it came in, it didn't fit right.

 

952

00:41:52,388 --> 00:41:53,224

And he's like.

 

953

00:41:55,164 --> 00:41:57,580

>> Freddy: You gotta order the chinese sizes, man.

 

954

00:41:57,652 --> 00:41:58,740

>> Parker: Yeah, exactly.

 

955

00:41:58,892 --> 00:42:00,420

>> Freddy: If you were three x, you gotta.

 

956

00:42:00,452 --> 00:42:02,504

>> Parker: Order a chinese 17 x.

 

957

00:42:03,964 --> 00:42:06,748

>> Freddy: Trust me, you gotta get sumo suit.

 

958

00:42:06,836 --> 00:42:09,788

>> Parker: I told you, America, if they knew it was coming, the United

 

959

00:42:09,836 --> 00:42:10,148

States, they'd.

 

960

00:42:10,156 --> 00:42:12,184

>> Parker: Be like, oh, 17 x,

 

961

00:42:13,444 --> 00:42:15,384

very fat. To Matt.

 

962

00:42:20,684 --> 00:42:21,904

>> Parker: We'Re just horrible.

 

963

00:42:22,178 --> 00:42:24,802

>> Parker: we're going racist tonight, Alan. Yeah, but it's not really

 

964

00:42:24,858 --> 00:42:27,806

racist because it's all in fun. We're not

 

965

00:42:27,830 --> 00:42:30,154

making fun of people, see? So I think there's a difference.

 

966

00:42:34,574 --> 00:42:36,114

>> Freddy: You want to hear a racist joke?

 

967

00:42:37,574 --> 00:42:38,594

>> Parker: Yes, I do.

 

968

00:42:38,594 --> 00:42:39,984

>> Freddy: all right, here we go.

 

969

00:42:47,004 --> 00:42:48,244

>> Parker: That was funny.

 

970

00:42:48,364 --> 00:42:50,120

>> Parker: That, was racist as shit.

 

971

00:42:57,900 --> 00:43:00,788

If you subscribe to our Patreon right now, I will tell you the

 

972

00:43:00,804 --> 00:43:02,840

joke that Fred made that we had to play about.

 

973

00:43:05,740 --> 00:43:08,484

Otherwise, you'll never know. It's going to go into the analysis. You never

 

974

00:43:08,532 --> 00:43:08,956

know.

 

975

00:43:09,068 --> 00:43:10,480

>> Freddy: You got to pay for it.

 

976

00:43:12,420 --> 00:43:13,760

>> Parker: I'll never tell

 

977

00:43:16,580 --> 00:43:19,572

at what point do you think so? Like I said, yeah, I don't think it's racist. We're

 

978

00:43:19,596 --> 00:43:22,258

not making fun of someone specific. We're not making

 

979

00:43:22,314 --> 00:43:25,106

fun of traits of them. We're

 

980

00:43:25,138 --> 00:43:27,844

just doing their version of an English, of, speaking

 

981

00:43:27,908 --> 00:43:30,804

English. Right. Ah. As we understand it,

 

982

00:43:30,868 --> 00:43:33,812

courtesy of movies and television, which could

 

983

00:43:33,852 --> 00:43:36,836

have been skewed a little racially, a little.

 

984

00:43:36,884 --> 00:43:39,484

We can't help that. We didn't do that we didn't do

 

985

00:43:39,508 --> 00:43:42,252

it. We learned it from watching you.

 

986

00:43:42,372 --> 00:43:42,892

Hollywood.

 

987

00:43:42,932 --> 00:43:45,540

>> Freddy: Perpetuating, keeping it

 

988

00:43:45,556 --> 00:43:47,470

alive. Just keep it real.

 

989

00:43:47,566 --> 00:43:50,162

>> Parker: Pride. Month's over. So it is.

 

990

00:43:51,462 --> 00:43:52,602

Sorry, boys.

 

991

00:43:54,302 --> 00:43:56,830

>> Freddy: The corporations was, like, five months

 

992

00:43:56,886 --> 00:43:57,482

over.

 

993

00:43:58,382 --> 00:44:00,282

>> Parker: Take down the flags

 

994

00:44:03,822 --> 00:44:05,990

at midnight. Like, 1159 on.

 

995

00:44:06,086 --> 00:44:08,882

>> Freddy: Yeah, they were like, whoop.

 

996

00:44:09,982 --> 00:44:11,602

Nine, eight.

 

997

00:44:12,982 --> 00:44:15,842

>> Parker: Back in the closet, Terry. One more year.

 

998

00:44:16,192 --> 00:44:16,932

>> Freddy: So,

 

999

00:44:17,592 --> 00:44:19,462

>> Parker: Okay, I'll spill the tea.

 

1000

00:44:20,002 --> 00:44:21,342

>> Freddy: Well, that's it.

 

1001

00:44:22,002 --> 00:44:24,608

>> Parker: Whatever. so, yeah, it's crazy, man.

 

1002

00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,384

What do you think, though? What do you think, Fred, about, like, these companies and your

 

1003

00:44:27,408 --> 00:44:29,944

data? Like, is that don't.

 

1004

00:44:30,008 --> 00:44:32,848

>> Freddy: Don't really matter. No, I don't. I mean, I'm

 

1005

00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,572

not the only thing.

 

1006

00:44:36,672 --> 00:44:39,272

Like, the only

 

1007

00:44:39,312 --> 00:44:42,238

thing, I'm afraid of.

 

1008

00:44:42,390 --> 00:44:45,238

And I'm not even really afraid of that. I'm not even gonna say

 

1009

00:44:45,270 --> 00:44:47,158

it. I can't say it. I can't say it.

 

1010

00:44:47,270 --> 00:44:48,150

>> Parker: You can't say m. What?

 

1011

00:44:48,166 --> 00:44:50,758

>> Freddy: I'm afraid. I can't say what I'm afraid of. But,

 

1012

00:44:50,910 --> 00:44:53,282

no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit.

 

1013

00:44:55,222 --> 00:44:56,310

>> Parker: Is it swimming?

 

1014

00:44:56,446 --> 00:44:57,162

>> Freddy: Yeah,

 

1015

00:45:02,062 --> 00:45:04,998

I'm afraid, like, I'll say it. I'm

 

1016

00:45:05,030 --> 00:45:07,976

afraid of, like, if I'm whacking it, you

 

1017

00:45:07,984 --> 00:45:10,624

know? I'm saying, like, they're gonna take my picture and,

 

1018

00:45:10,688 --> 00:45:13,012

like. Like, I've heard,

 

1019

00:45:13,392 --> 00:45:15,452

but I don't have anything for.

 

1020

00:45:17,792 --> 00:45:20,792

Yeah, we'll send it to your friends

 

1021

00:45:20,832 --> 00:45:21,572

and family.

 

1022

00:45:25,122 --> 00:45:27,994

>> Parker: Yeah. I'm like, did you think that they don't know that people

 

1023

00:45:28,058 --> 00:45:28,482

do that?

 

1024

00:45:28,522 --> 00:45:29,862

>> Freddy: Like, yeah,

 

1025

00:45:31,532 --> 00:45:33,868

like, I'm not gonna be in there. Natural thing. It's

 

1026

00:45:33,940 --> 00:45:34,564

natural.

 

1027

00:45:34,668 --> 00:45:36,672

>> Parker: Give me the footage. Like in the dictator.

 

1028

00:45:39,092 --> 00:45:41,192

>> Freddy: Yeah, I did it.

 

1029

00:45:46,972 --> 00:45:48,512

>> Parker: I used this hand.

 

1030

00:45:51,972 --> 00:45:54,924

>> Parker: Now I get that fear, though. I can understand that fear. But then,

 

1031

00:45:54,948 --> 00:45:57,788

like, also, I'm like you said. I'm like, whatever, dude. Like, go ahead.

 

1032

00:45:57,820 --> 00:45:58,902

This nothing.

 

1033

00:46:00,152 --> 00:46:01,184

>> Freddy: What are they gonna do?

 

1034

00:46:01,248 --> 00:46:04,052

>> Parker: Like, there's millions of people a lot more important.

 

1035

00:46:04,392 --> 00:46:07,280

>> Parker: And how anyone that I

 

1036

00:46:07,296 --> 00:46:09,256

know think less of me than they already do.

 

1037

00:46:09,384 --> 00:46:11,952

>> Freddy: I mean, they got hunter by its laptop

 

1038

00:46:12,032 --> 00:46:14,878

and, a whole bunch worse than

 

1039

00:46:14,910 --> 00:46:17,758

that, so, like, he survived. I

 

1040

00:46:17,790 --> 00:46:18,642

will too.

 

1041

00:46:19,822 --> 00:46:22,702

>> Parker: Breaking news. We got footage of Freddy checking

 

1042

00:46:22,742 --> 00:46:23,182

it.

 

1043

00:46:23,302 --> 00:46:24,042

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1044

00:46:24,942 --> 00:46:26,082

>> Freddy: Local news.

 

1045

00:46:28,492 --> 00:46:30,992

>> Parker: Local man, Jackson. Local man, Jackson.

 

1046

00:46:31,572 --> 00:46:34,232

>> Parker: Stock footage of Freddy. He's like, yeah.

 

1047

00:46:37,292 --> 00:46:40,012

>> Parker: It'S like. It's like this, and it's like him smiling. And then there's, like,

 

1048

00:46:40,052 --> 00:46:42,072

splooge marks on the corners of the screen

 

1049

00:46:51,212 --> 00:46:53,794

where they, like, animate it. Like, it looks like you're doing it.

 

1050

00:46:53,908 --> 00:46:56,882

Yeah, still picture, but they move it around so it looks like

 

1051

00:46:57,822 --> 00:46:58,254

they don't.

 

1052

00:46:58,278 --> 00:47:00,438

>> Parker: Have to have pictures. They can just do it AI now.

 

1053

00:47:00,550 --> 00:47:00,894

>> Parker: Sure.

 

1054

00:47:00,958 --> 00:47:01,262

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

1055

00:47:01,262 --> 00:47:04,070

>> Parker: I wins again. Yeah, see, that's what. That's who you're worried about.

 

1056

00:47:04,102 --> 00:47:06,554

Brett is the AI. Jerk detectors.

 

1057

00:47:08,454 --> 00:47:10,754

>> Freddy: Well, it's crazy now, cuz like

 

1058

00:47:11,814 --> 00:47:14,742

certain sites, like, you have to show your id

 

1059

00:47:14,838 --> 00:47:15,358

now.

 

1060

00:47:15,486 --> 00:47:18,382

>> Parker: Yeah, you have to. An id. Like in North Carolina. You

 

1061

00:47:18,398 --> 00:47:21,380

can't. Yeah, yeah, you can't go to corn

 

1062

00:47:21,412 --> 00:47:24,036

hub, North Carolina.

 

1063

00:47:24,140 --> 00:47:26,332

>> Parker: Wait a second. You have to show your id to.

 

1064

00:47:26,388 --> 00:47:29,236

>> Freddy: You have to verify your age with

 

1065

00:47:29,300 --> 00:47:32,056

id, right. To look at the corner, access the site.

 

1066

00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:33,264

Yeah, right.

 

1067

00:47:33,304 --> 00:47:34,728

>> Parker: If you want to see the corn.

 

1068

00:47:34,896 --> 00:47:37,164

>> Parker: No, that's an american right.

 

1069

00:47:47,584 --> 00:47:48,744

Freedom to whack it.

 

1070

00:47:48,784 --> 00:47:51,664

>> Parker: Our forefathers fought for the ability for us to look at as much

 

1071

00:47:51,704 --> 00:47:52,688

corn as we want.

 

1072

00:47:52,776 --> 00:47:53,444

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

1073

00:47:57,104 --> 00:47:58,164

>> Parker: But it's true.

 

1074

00:47:58,584 --> 00:47:59,792

>> Parker: My free speech.

 

1075

00:47:59,928 --> 00:48:01,400

>> Parker: It's true. They're doing it.

 

1076

00:48:01,552 --> 00:48:04,512

>> Freddy: Yeah, you can. You can

 

1077

00:48:04,608 --> 00:48:07,240

gamble your money, right? You can

 

1078

00:48:07,272 --> 00:48:09,976

gamble your whole fucking paycheck in North Carolina, but not your

 

1079

00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,880

virginity. But you.

 

1080

00:48:12,072 --> 00:48:14,164

>> Parker: Not your self virginity, right?

 

1081

00:48:16,774 --> 00:48:17,566

>> Parker: Well, you use it.

 

1082

00:48:17,590 --> 00:48:18,710

>> Parker: Yeah, you can use a VPN.

 

1083

00:48:18,782 --> 00:48:21,574

>> Freddy: I guess you can get through it that way. But like us,

 

1084

00:48:21,574 --> 00:48:24,214

text. Un, Tech savvy fuckers, right?

 

1085

00:48:24,254 --> 00:48:25,862

>> Parker: Fred has to buy backgrounds again.

 

1086

00:48:25,998 --> 00:48:28,032

>> Freddy: Our, tech savvy jacket's like, I.

 

1087

00:48:28,048 --> 00:48:30,324

>> Parker: Went to Barnes and noble to buy magazines again.

 

1088

00:48:31,904 --> 00:48:32,440

>> Parker: It's gonna.

 

1089

00:48:32,472 --> 00:48:33,704

>> Freddy: It's hard to know.

 

1090

00:48:33,784 --> 00:48:36,504

>> Parker: And I sandwiched him, all of them, between two Sports

 

1091

00:48:36,544 --> 00:48:39,044

Illustrated. So no one would know my secret.

 

1092

00:48:42,674 --> 00:48:44,934

I can never know, right?

 

1093

00:48:45,674 --> 00:48:47,094

>> Freddy: That's what I was thinking.

 

1094

00:48:49,354 --> 00:48:52,330

>> Parker: Dude. Magazine names back in the like, eighties

 

1095

00:48:52,362 --> 00:48:54,866

and nineties, like, like new Dagaze were the best.

 

1096

00:48:55,050 --> 00:48:57,184

>> Freddy: Yeah, m

 

1097

00:48:57,794 --> 00:49:00,530

my favorite word, though, was like. You remember

 

1098

00:49:00,642 --> 00:49:01,734

the golden child?

 

1099

00:49:02,394 --> 00:49:02,962

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1100

00:49:03,058 --> 00:49:04,746

>> Freddy: Remember to go to Eddie Murphy's golden time?

 

1101

00:49:04,810 --> 00:49:05,010

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1102

00:49:05,042 --> 00:49:07,922

>> Freddy: He walked up on that dude at the nudie magazine

 

1103

00:49:07,978 --> 00:49:10,314

stand and he was like, chunky

 

1104

00:49:10,394 --> 00:49:13,330

asses. He's like. That was the name

 

1105

00:49:13,362 --> 00:49:14,122

of the magazine.

 

1106

00:49:14,218 --> 00:49:14,714

>> Parker: Oh, yeah.

 

1107

00:49:14,794 --> 00:49:17,746

>> Freddy: He's like, my man. You like chunky asses? Oh,

 

1108

00:49:17,850 --> 00:49:19,930

that's a good addition right there. Chunky

 

1109

00:49:20,002 --> 00:49:20,930

asses.

 

1110

00:49:21,122 --> 00:49:23,134

>> Parker: There were so many. That's how it was.

 

1111

00:49:23,594 --> 00:49:26,506

Yeah, I think I feel like it was the eighties. Like,

 

1112

00:49:26,530 --> 00:49:29,074

you could. You could like order like a grab

 

1113

00:49:29,114 --> 00:49:31,954

bag of like, like, you mail a mail

 

1114

00:49:31,994 --> 00:49:34,842

order, like, like ten. They would just send you ten random.

 

1115

00:49:34,938 --> 00:49:37,708

Really? Like corn mags.

 

1116

00:49:37,836 --> 00:49:40,742

>> Freddy: I see that. I see that in, Like I go

 

1117

00:49:40,758 --> 00:49:43,646

to second corner, look at the comic books and they got

 

1118

00:49:43,670 --> 00:49:46,502

like a pack of ten. And it's

 

1119

00:49:46,518 --> 00:49:48,006

just random comic book.

 

1120

00:49:48,110 --> 00:49:48,794

>> Parker: Yeah,

 

1121

00:49:52,454 --> 00:49:54,314

it's called the blind bag because.

 

1122

00:50:00,294 --> 00:50:00,870

>> Parker: Freedom.

 

1123

00:50:00,942 --> 00:50:03,114

>> Freddy: Oh, no, I got herpes monthly.

 

1124

00:50:03,214 --> 00:50:04,734

>> Parker: No, not again.

 

1125

00:50:06,234 --> 00:50:08,614

And they're like, why does it come with a free sample?

 

1126

00:50:09,634 --> 00:50:10,922

I'm so confused.

 

1127

00:50:11,098 --> 00:50:11,874

>> Parker: I touched it.

 

1128

00:50:11,914 --> 00:50:12,894

>> Freddy: I touched it.

 

1129

00:50:13,714 --> 00:50:16,698

>> Parker: I do remember back in the day, like when I was a young man there, though,

 

1130

00:50:16,746 --> 00:50:19,570

that was back when gas stations had like a section,

 

1131

00:50:19,762 --> 00:50:22,054

right? Like that you could go back and like.

 

1132

00:50:22,794 --> 00:50:23,854

They're fine.

 

1133

00:50:24,234 --> 00:50:24,946

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1134

00:50:25,090 --> 00:50:26,746

>> Parker: Lady books they had.

 

1135

00:50:26,930 --> 00:50:28,484

>> Freddy: I, remember like

 

1136

00:50:29,754 --> 00:50:32,474

going like, in the woods, like, because I got

 

1137

00:50:32,514 --> 00:50:35,346

woods and, and I guess my uncles and shit would

 

1138

00:50:35,410 --> 00:50:38,266

had some back out there and, you know, they would,

 

1139

00:50:38,330 --> 00:50:40,882

whatever. And like, I would just go

 

1140

00:50:41,018 --> 00:50:42,882

exploring in the woods and you would find.

 

1141

00:50:42,938 --> 00:50:44,570

>> Parker: Like, randall up on something. Yeah.

 

1142

00:50:44,642 --> 00:50:47,530

>> Freddy: Nudie magazines. Like all eight. Up with

 

1143

00:50:47,562 --> 00:50:50,214

like, turner by spin and ate the pages and shit.

 

1144

00:50:51,114 --> 00:50:53,586

Still be a nipple in there. Or, you

 

1145

00:50:53,610 --> 00:50:56,174

know, I only read them for the article.

 

1146

00:50:56,594 --> 00:50:58,454

>> Parker: This home magazine only has one.

 

1147

00:51:04,474 --> 00:51:07,266

And I learned a lot about the stock market in

 

1148

00:51:07,290 --> 00:51:08,534

1972.

 

1149

00:51:10,394 --> 00:51:13,386

I learned a great deal about that, about how Tupperware is taking over

 

1150

00:51:13,410 --> 00:51:13,850

the industry.

 

1151

00:51:13,922 --> 00:51:15,530

>> Freddy: Bested at Apple.

 

1152

00:51:15,722 --> 00:51:16,194

>> Parker: Right?

 

1153

00:51:16,274 --> 00:51:18,866

Yeah. Now I know. It's

 

1154

00:51:18,890 --> 00:51:21,702

okay. man, it's crazy. It's crazy now. And nowadays, kids

 

1155

00:51:21,734 --> 00:51:23,334

don't understand the hiding.

 

1156

00:51:23,510 --> 00:51:24,226

>> Freddy: No,

 

1157

00:51:26,126 --> 00:51:28,266

because kids, the access

 

1158

00:51:28,926 --> 00:51:29,726

is different.

 

1159

00:51:29,806 --> 00:51:30,278

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1160

00:51:30,382 --> 00:51:31,750

>> Freddy: It's very different.

 

1161

00:51:31,798 --> 00:51:31,958

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1162

00:51:31,982 --> 00:51:32,990

>> Freddy: I'm saying it's.

 

1163

00:51:33,158 --> 00:51:35,982

>> Parker: Well, it looks like it's going to be, that's going to be changing out. The,

 

1164

00:51:36,036 --> 00:51:36,964

Looks like it, you know?

 

1165

00:51:36,980 --> 00:51:37,300

>> Parker: You know.

 

1166

00:51:37,348 --> 00:51:40,116

>> Freddy: Yeah, well, but that's what I'm saying. It's

 

1167

00:51:40,156 --> 00:51:42,836

only some states and, and it's only some

 

1168

00:51:42,876 --> 00:51:45,686

sites, right. So like, you just don't

 

1169

00:51:45,726 --> 00:51:48,106

get to go to that particular site.

 

1170

00:51:49,166 --> 00:51:51,758

>> Parker: You can go to corn, you can.

 

1171

00:51:51,782 --> 00:51:54,230

>> Parker: Still go to big, but big chunky button, right?

 

1172

00:51:54,318 --> 00:51:56,636

>> Freddy: Or triple legs, triple ah.

 

1173

00:51:56,934 --> 00:51:57,150

>> Parker: X.

 

1174

00:51:57,198 --> 00:51:59,502

>> Freddy: Born duty. Duty. But

 

1175

00:51:59,534 --> 00:52:00,302

whatever.

 

1176

00:52:00,494 --> 00:52:09,518

>> Parker: Caddybuttholes.

 

1177

00:52:09,582 --> 00:52:11,412

Ca check it out. Sponsor this week.

 

1178

00:52:11,444 --> 00:52:13,216

>> Freddy: Hosers ca.

 

1179

00:52:17,596 --> 00:52:19,216

>> Parker: Nips under sweaters.

 

1180

00:52:26,036 --> 00:52:28,426

>> Parker: What was it? married with children. Bigums.

 

1181

00:52:34,766 --> 00:52:37,706

>> Freddy: Yeah. Me and alt

 

1182

00:52:37,706 --> 00:52:37,922

tip.

 

1183

00:52:37,954 --> 00:52:40,194

>> Parker: Me. There you go.

 

1184

00:52:40,370 --> 00:52:42,846

>> Freddy: Love with big old titty. Yeah.

 

1185

00:52:44,706 --> 00:52:46,506

>> Parker: Hey, I still, we were in.

 

1186

00:52:46,806 --> 00:52:49,406

>> Freddy: Tennessee and we were driving

 

1187

00:52:49,526 --> 00:52:51,826

and we came upon this

 

1188

00:52:52,206 --> 00:52:54,814

place. I don't know what it was, still. Don't know what it

 

1189

00:52:54,830 --> 00:52:57,358

was, but there were two, like,

 

1190

00:52:57,502 --> 00:53:00,186

domes side by side.

 

1191

00:53:01,766 --> 00:53:04,664

No, it wasn't a.

 

1192

00:53:04,830 --> 00:53:07,412

It was close to it. It was close to it.

 

1193

00:53:07,524 --> 00:53:09,998

But like, my, cousin in law was in the

 

1194

00:53:10,014 --> 00:53:12,654

car. It was me, my cousin in law, his

 

1195

00:53:12,702 --> 00:53:15,654

mom, and I think a couple of

 

1196

00:53:15,662 --> 00:53:18,582

the kids were in the car. He's like,

 

1197

00:53:18,606 --> 00:53:21,566

I wonder what that place is. And I was like, I don't know. It looks like my

 

1198

00:53:21,598 --> 00:53:22,890

wife land on her back.

 

1199

00:53:28,830 --> 00:53:30,330

>> Parker: I think it's glamping.

 

1200

00:53:30,710 --> 00:53:33,210

>> Freddy: All the adults just like, died.

 

1201

00:53:34,150 --> 00:53:36,262

My wife punched me in the shoulder.

 

1202

00:53:36,366 --> 00:53:37,010

>> Parker: Sure.

 

1203

00:53:39,070 --> 00:53:40,646

>> Parker: You're like, baby, it's true.

 

1204

00:53:40,798 --> 00:53:43,630

>> Freddy: It's true. It's a compliment. I love you.

 

1205

00:53:43,670 --> 00:53:45,370

>> Parker: Yeah. I only meant that in the nicest.

 

1206

00:53:47,030 --> 00:53:49,830

They weren't deflated. They didn't really weren't laying on the ground.

 

1207

00:53:49,990 --> 00:53:50,730

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

1208

00:53:52,850 --> 00:53:54,702

>> Parker: M right, exactly.

 

1209

00:53:54,766 --> 00:53:56,570

>> Parker: They got beaver tails. You know.

 

1210

00:53:59,210 --> 00:54:00,450

>> Parker: That'S where Beaver nuggets come.

 

1211

00:54:00,490 --> 00:54:01,790

>> Freddy: Beaver tails.

 

1212

00:54:04,850 --> 00:54:06,950

>> Parker: Fred. It looks like the two. The.

 

1213

00:54:11,210 --> 00:54:14,090

It looks like that's glamping, Fred, that you're.

 

1214

00:54:14,130 --> 00:54:17,110

That you saw some glamping domes, apparently.

 

1215

00:54:17,930 --> 00:54:19,474

You know, glamping is right.

 

1216

00:54:19,602 --> 00:54:20,946

>> Freddy: Yeah. Glamorous.

 

1217

00:54:20,978 --> 00:54:23,230

>> Parker: Glamorous. Camping, clamping.

 

1218

00:54:24,370 --> 00:54:25,990

Hey, maybe, maybe that kind of,

 

1219

00:54:25,940 --> 00:54:28,896

>> Freddy: Speaking of wild outdoors, there was a bear in my

 

1220

00:54:28,928 --> 00:54:29,720

neighborhood.

 

1221

00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:30,840

>> Parker: I saw that.

 

1222

00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:32,080

>> Freddy: Yeah, you saw that.

 

1223

00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:34,336

>> Parker: Somebody was like, bear recording bear.

 

1224

00:54:34,408 --> 00:54:34,800

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1225

00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,824

>> Freddy: Little baby bear, man. Little baby

 

1226

00:54:37,872 --> 00:54:38,504

bear.

 

1227

00:54:38,672 --> 00:54:40,060

>> Parker: Little baby bear.

 

1228

00:54:40,720 --> 00:54:41,764

>> Freddy: Poor, little baby bear.

 

1229

00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:42,932

>> Parker: Why didn't you steal him?

 

1230

00:54:43,044 --> 00:54:44,982

>> Freddy: I, mean, I should have.

 

1231

00:54:45,054 --> 00:54:47,786

>> Parker: I should have trained him and took it home,

 

1232

00:54:48,366 --> 00:54:49,574

made him into a hat.

 

1233

00:54:49,710 --> 00:54:52,334

>> Freddy: Good. Yeah. I was about to make it to a rook.

 

1234

00:54:52,470 --> 00:54:53,186

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1235

00:54:54,886 --> 00:54:56,638

>> Parker: I used to have, I killed.

 

1236

00:54:56,662 --> 00:54:58,646

>> Freddy: This baby bear with a bare hands.

 

1237

00:54:58,726 --> 00:55:00,174

>> Parker: I used to have a bear skin rug.

 

1238

00:55:00,230 --> 00:55:00,758

>> Freddy: It was a bear.

 

1239

00:55:00,822 --> 00:55:01,678

>> Parker: Did you really?

 

1240

00:55:01,822 --> 00:55:04,622

>> Parker: Yeah. You remember the bear

 

1241

00:55:04,654 --> 00:55:05,142

skin rug?

 

1242

00:55:05,174 --> 00:55:06,396

>> Parker: Yeah, legit.

 

1243

00:55:06,396 --> 00:55:08,106

>> Parker: Ah, yeah, it was awesome.

 

1244

00:55:08,406 --> 00:55:10,982

>> Parker: It was a real bear. It was a real bear.

 

1245

00:55:11,014 --> 00:55:12,670

>> Freddy: Yeah. Was it a real bear?

 

1246

00:55:12,798 --> 00:55:15,066

>> Parker: Yeah, yeah. My neighbor's dad killed it.

 

1247

00:55:15,486 --> 00:55:18,374

>> Freddy: Really? Yeah. That would have been

 

1248

00:55:18,430 --> 00:55:18,694

awful.

 

1249

00:55:18,750 --> 00:55:20,386

>> Parker: Drugged it and rugged it, baby.

 

1250

00:55:22,526 --> 00:55:25,484

>> Parker: I was with him and he went to see his dad and he said he had the,

 

1251

00:55:25,550 --> 00:55:26,240

the air, and I.

 

1252

00:55:26,248 --> 00:55:28,360

>> Freddy: Was like, holy shit, I want that.

 

1253

00:55:28,448 --> 00:55:31,368

>> Parker: And so when he passed away, Eric, when

 

1254

00:55:31,392 --> 00:55:34,328

he got it, he brought it, gave it to me, and I put it up in the living room.

 

1255

00:55:34,472 --> 00:55:35,720

>> Freddy: Oh, yeah, it was awesome.

 

1256

00:55:35,808 --> 00:55:38,104

>> Parker: Yeah, buddy. Got a hold of it.

 

1257

00:55:38,240 --> 00:55:40,824

>> Freddy: Ah, fucking

 

1258

00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:41,904

dogs, man.

 

1259

00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:42,904

>> Parker: Fucking animals.

 

1260

00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:43,968

>> Freddy: Fucking dogs.

 

1261

00:55:43,992 --> 00:55:46,156

>> Parker: But that bear was awesome because I would.

 

1262

00:55:52,496 --> 00:55:53,616

It was awesome.

 

1263

00:55:53,696 --> 00:55:55,236

>> Freddy: Fucking awesome.

 

1264

00:55:55,616 --> 00:55:57,038

>> Parker: Those were the salad days.

 

1265

00:55:57,152 --> 00:55:57,236

>> Freddy: Yeah.

 

1266

00:55:57,236 --> 00:55:59,526

>> Parker: Ah, those were, those were a lot of fun.

 

1267

00:56:00,386 --> 00:56:03,122

>> Freddy: That's the old seventies, like,

 

1268

00:56:03,234 --> 00:56:04,686

luxury items.

 

1269

00:56:06,706 --> 00:56:09,594

>> Parker: It was also. It was right there when you opened the door when you came in every living

 

1270

00:56:09,650 --> 00:56:09,818

room.

 

1271

00:56:09,842 --> 00:56:11,206

>> Freddy: And he was just like, yeah,

 

1272

00:56:16,546 --> 00:56:17,066

the kids.

 

1273

00:56:17,106 --> 00:56:18,042

>> Parker: Yeah, kids would come in.

 

1274

00:56:18,074 --> 00:56:20,618

>> Parker: My kids, there's a bear on the floor. And I'm

 

1275

00:56:20,642 --> 00:56:23,538

like, don't fall in love with

 

1276

00:56:23,562 --> 00:56:25,606

bears, kids. They want to kill you.

 

1277

00:56:27,026 --> 00:56:29,606

They want to eat your face. And they're like, we love him.

 

1278

00:56:31,906 --> 00:56:33,394

>> Freddy: Bearskin Road.

 

1279

00:56:33,530 --> 00:56:35,846

>> Parker: There you go. Now, you know, that's what it's all about.

 

1280

00:56:36,346 --> 00:56:39,210

Well, guys. Oh, yeah. Hey.

 

1281

00:56:39,258 --> 00:56:42,090

Yeah, there you go. Tug it. Tug it on the rugged. That's when you fear.

 

1282

00:56:42,138 --> 00:56:44,086

Now, that's what you need to fear, Fred.

 

1283

00:56:44,506 --> 00:56:45,246

>> Freddy: Right?

 

1284

00:56:45,546 --> 00:56:48,474

>> Parker: No, no, is. Is you tugging it on

 

1285

00:56:48,490 --> 00:56:51,362

a row on a bearskin rug. And then china sending

 

1286

00:56:51,394 --> 00:56:53,796

that to other bears around.

 

1287

00:56:55,056 --> 00:56:57,976

So then the bears come after you. Like you. You

 

1288

00:56:58,016 --> 00:56:59,676

did something. Looting. Lascivious.

 

1289

00:57:04,746 --> 00:57:06,606

>> Parker: You'Re a pedophile.

 

1290

00:57:11,146 --> 00:57:13,858

But also, if you killed a baby bear and did that, then you would be a

 

1291

00:57:13,882 --> 00:57:16,322

double. You a ped and a pet. Oh,

 

1292

00:57:16,354 --> 00:57:18,206

yeah. That's not a good.

 

1293

00:57:20,496 --> 00:57:21,688

>> Parker: What a way to end the show.

 

1294

00:57:21,792 --> 00:57:24,672

>> Parker: Always is. Ah, we always like to end it on a note. That doesn't make any fucking

 

1295

00:57:24,704 --> 00:57:25,272

sense.

 

1296

00:57:25,424 --> 00:57:26,072

>> Freddy: Not at all.

 

1297

00:57:26,104 --> 00:57:29,104

>> Parker: Well, where we are done, I

 

1298

00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:31,176

guess. Unless my has something else to say.

 

1299

00:57:31,336 --> 00:57:34,104

>> Freddy: I don't have shit else to say. No.

 

1300

00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:35,556

>> Parker: Garlic make my night.

 

1301

00:57:35,856 --> 00:57:37,296

>> Parker: Go fuck yourself, America.

 

1302

00:57:37,376 --> 00:57:39,760

>> Freddy: And garlic makes my feet stink.

 

1303

00:57:39,888 --> 00:57:42,232

>> Parker: And I didn't fought my

 

1304

00:57:42,264 --> 00:57:42,996

pants.

 

1305

00:57:43,496 --> 00:57:45,080

>> Freddy: I didn't fought. I shitted.

 

1306

00:57:45,128 --> 00:57:48,072

>> Parker: Stinky. A

 

1307

00:57:48,104 --> 00:57:50,916

stinky as shit than Biden could ever do.

 

1308

00:57:52,936 --> 00:57:55,864

This one was wetter than anything

 

1309

00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:57,916

you could ever do, old man.

 

1310

00:57:58,696 --> 00:58:01,436

>> Freddy: My diapers way more fuller than Biden.

 

1311

00:58:02,856 --> 00:58:05,512

>> Parker: My diaper four times saggier than

 

1312

00:58:05,544 --> 00:58:08,104

Biden's. Now

 

1313

00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:10,616

that's how impressive shit is.

 

1314

00:58:10,656 --> 00:58:12,876

>> Freddy: Go ahead, fill it. Feel it. Go ahead.

 

1315

00:58:14,536 --> 00:58:17,466

>> Parker: And I'll pass it out to the crowd after the debate.

 

1316

00:58:19,086 --> 00:58:20,334

Who wants to souvenir?

 

1317

00:58:20,390 --> 00:58:23,070

>> Freddy: What if he does that? Like, you know how the guy.

 

1318

00:58:23,118 --> 00:58:23,986

>> Parker: Oh, yeah. Like.

 

1319

00:58:25,886 --> 00:58:28,266

>> Freddy: He throws the diaper into it.

 

1320

00:58:33,366 --> 00:58:34,146

Wow.

 

1321

00:58:37,406 --> 00:58:40,270

>> Parker: And the worst part is, like, if it was the right people,

 

1322

00:58:40,318 --> 00:58:41,638

they'd be like, this is the greatest.

 

1323

00:58:41,702 --> 00:58:42,546

>> Parker: Love it.

 

1324

00:58:43,496 --> 00:58:44,112

>> Parker: Love it.

 

1325

00:58:44,144 --> 00:58:45,408

>> Parker: And make them sign it.

 

1326

00:58:45,552 --> 00:58:46,350

>> Freddy: They, love it.

 

1327

00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:48,906

>> Parker: They're like, the president don't eat corn. That's for sure.

 

1328

00:58:52,286 --> 00:58:54,786

That's how we know that Iowa stole the election.

 

1329

00:58:57,526 --> 00:59:00,326

I love their corn. All right, ladies and gentlemen,

 

1330

00:59:00,366 --> 00:59:02,934

we're getting it out of here. We hope you have a great

 

1331

00:59:03,110 --> 00:59:06,014

day and come back next week for a

 

1332

00:59:06,030 --> 00:59:08,526

brand new episode, laughing collect

 

1333

00:59:08,566 --> 00:59:11,036

podcast. Bye.

 

1334

00:59:15,296 --> 00:59:18,168

We are laughing, and we are

 

1335

00:59:18,192 --> 00:59:20,824

very good friends. Good buddy.

 

1336

00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:22,596

Sharing a special moment.

 

1337

00:59:38,426 --> 00:59:41,218

>> Freddy: That's it, man. Game over, man. It's game

 

1338

00:59:41,282 --> 00:59:41,886

over.

 

1339

00:59:42,586 --> 00:59:45,224

>> Parker: Just hang loose, blood. she gonna catch up on the rebound out of

 

1340

00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:46,116

medicine.

 

1341

00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:52,716

>> Freddy: Oh, what a day.

 

1342

00:59:56,696 --> 00:59:58,712

>> Parker: Well, that's all, folks.

 

1343

00:59:58,864 --> 01:00:01,170

>> Parker: I still have his baby.

 

1344

01:00:01,298 --> 01:00:02,686

Goddamn hip.

 

1345

01:00:04,906 --> 01:00:07,090

Don't worry, nobody's listening anyway.

 

1346

01:00:07,178 --> 01:00:09,674

>> Freddy: As you know, I'm a man of special

 

1347

01:00:09,770 --> 01:00:10,242

needs.

 

1348

01:00:10,354 --> 01:00:13,282

>> Parker: Surely you can't be serious. I am serious. And, don't

 

1349

01:00:13,306 --> 01:00:13,850

call me Shirley.