This week's Black Lincoln Collective Podcast, titled “Smarter than Dumb,” takes a hilarious deep-dive into an eclectic mix of topics including social faux pas, bizarre internet videos, the pitfalls of algorithmic doomscrolling, and the ethical dilemmas of Halloween costumes and blackface. The hosts share their sharp-witted commentary on current events, outrageous questions from listeners, and existential hypotheticals like trading years of life for instant wealth. Above all, their distinct mix of humor, banter, and occasional serious reflection reminds us why this show is a go-to for absurd yet thought-provoking entertainment.
Okay. Questions and answers. Is is it not playing the is it not playing the music? I don't hear anything. I don't hear Oh, no.
No. I don't hear it either. Alright. Here we go. I love this music.
It should be playing the music. It's not. Or if it is, it's not. It's not. Right?
If it is, it's I'll I'll just do it manually then. Yeah. Manually. I'd I'd love to do it. I'm not sure.
Do it manually all the time. Friends forever manually doing it. When can connect, you can connect. Conceptions give them erections because you can see up late Like the rapids. In the morning.
Wanna say, then I turn around and slap it. Let's start the show. I I was just listening to Fred Rhett. Listening to me. Radnor.
I'm listening to the music. Yeah. I was listening to you can't see Right. See, this is the problem now. I listen to the music.
Yeah. I don't watch myself on the screen because I'm not that's not who I am. I'm fucking famous, bitch. Welcome, welcome, one and all, to the hundred and eighty first episode of the PLC podcast, the official the official podcast of cats with people names. We're proudly broadcasting live from the palatial EC studio scattered all across the Upstate Of South Carolina.
And you can catch us on YouTube, Insta, Facebook, Blue Sky, and all your favorite podcast platforms. And of course, on americasfavoritepodcast.com. Now it's the man who's finally mastered the art of napping while wide awake. It's red. I like to close my eyes and then draw eyes on the top of my eyelids.
Right. And then just, you know, sit down like yeah. They never know. It's like I'm staring at I thought that's why you wore sunglasses inside so you could nap. So I could take it down, art of nappy.
Is that the most interesting in your opinion okay, Fred. Let me ask you a question before you introduce this other guy because he keeps on him. Okay. Is wearing, in your opinion, sunglasses inside, especially at night, Yeah. Knowing nothing about someone else, nothing about their character, their upbringing, their social situation.
Right. If you see a guy in a place, let's say, let's say in a deli. Right. K. In the evening In a deli.
In a deli. You're like, hey. You know what I want? I want a nice pastrami sandwich. Mhmm.
Maybe. If a guy is wearing sunglasses at night in a deli, he also has on a baseball cap and a hoodie because he's robbing that place. That's what I'm saying. But if you see a guy in any situation wearing sunglasses inside, do you not automatically think, like, that guy is a real douchebag? Yeah.
Yeah. I mean I mean, without knowing anything else about him. He could be but, like, okay. I can't say that because, like, I can see some situations where I would wanna wear sunglasses at night inside of a building. If you're, like, right now If I'm at a club yeah.
If I'm at a club Okay. Yeah. I know. If you're in the music and I'm like, you know, just But see, that's not like in the evening. That's My eyes are real loud.
10:00. Yeah. Damn. But Like, if you're in the club, that's that's nice. Who's wearing sunglasses inside at 06:00 at Walmart?
Like That's what I'm saying. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I have I mean, I've seen it, and it's but it's mostly old people, and it's because the lights the floor lights messed them up. They just I'm okay with, like, the I would I would I would be more, like, hey.
That guy's alright than somebody in the club. I'd be like, oh, that guy's a douche. What happened was If I go in a club and see somebody show Allen. Oh, yeah. That's right.
See if I see a old person at Walmart at night with glasses on. I know exactly what happened. Perfect. They got the last appointment at the eye doctor, and they had to get eyes dialed. You know what I'm saying?
So it was like 05:30. She was like, 05:30 is the only one I got. And then she was like, well, I'll take it. 05:30. Yeah.
I'll do it at night. That way, I don't have to worry about it. You know? I just can't I gotta be at home. I can't miss CJ.
I gotta go to Walmart though and get a a birthday card for my grandson. Yeah. For my great grandson. And then they've been stuck in there ever since. Yeah.
He wants a Fortnite gift card. So I gotta go get him one of that. Gotta get them v bucks, grandma. Gotta get they I don't want them every hundred bucks. Pokemon is back.
Pokemon's always been back, bro. Yeah, Pokemon. No. I didn't realize that. Them dudes fighting in Maryland.
Oh, yeah, dude. No. It's What? Oh, so now there are Pokemon we have what Al's talking about is, you know, Pokemon the card game. Oh, by the way, ladies and gentlemen, man in a blue shirt, LODP.
Yay. Woo. Oh, yeah. He he unprepared his soundtrack. Yeah.
Oh, that's okay. Hey. Just for the record while I'm thinking about it, if you guys are watching, at home and you can see this because it's in HD, I am not currently on meth. Opposed to what my forehead may be telling you, I am not a meth head. I thought my screen was dirty.
No. I know, dude. Oh, no. You got a pussy. Yeah.
I see him. I see him. I look like a fool. Had it, dude. I had a girl, I was at Dalston.
And girl, she was like, do you think it's crazy I'm wearing this band aid on my face? I was like, no. I was like, you gotta cut or something, you know? She's like, no. I got a really big pimple and it's growing.
I was like, oh, well. I was like, is it huge? She's like, yeah. It's big. I said, did you name it?
She's like, no. I'm not naming it. That's weird. I was like, I name it Crystal because it's really a lesion. Crystal's a lesion.
We call it. No. Yeah. I know. So I had some, like, some things, and my mom was like, I'll take care of those.
My mom is a sadist when it comes to that stuff. Right. And so she, like Is that the one? This is our pain? Is that this is our pain?
Enjoy your She pulled out these fucking tools and, like, lasers and shit and scalpels, and I was like, this is not that fun. Little little scalpels. Do you get pimples, Fred? See, I know. Yeah.
I get them. I know. I know. I know. I know.
There's some dental. It happens. I mean, they're not using it, but, like, I get them. Yeah. Right.
Well, the problem is, Fred, so speaking of pimples and some skin, man. I do have oily skin because I sit in a desk all day, and I don't You need to roll around in a big pile of baby powder. I was gonna say baby powder. Right? I feel like the only thing I don't to me to me.
The only thing I don't do is a face covered in baby powder. We just do that we just do that, like and for some reason, like, when it's on your face, it makes your nose, like, look fucking huge. We used to do that back in the day when we make the face scrub it on the face. The shaving part of your nose is gone now. It's all white.
It's like, oh, my nose is so big. Yeah. Like, look at me. No. My nose is that big.
It's like, I didn't know I was this this is what I'd look like in the book as I was a white guy. So there you So, Red. Mhmm. I have been speaking of the pimple popping and and not so much the baby powder face thing, but I've been seeing a lot on on, like, the, what do you call it? Like, the Facebook?
Mhmm. Facebook, reels or the YouTube shorts. And so I still don't do the TikTok, which I still think is the same, pretty much the same thing. Mhmm. But, Fred, I am so fucking tired of it.
Tired of it, Fred. I'm tired of the reels. I'm tired of the shorts. I'm tired of it being I was watching, I was like, I'm popping through here the other day, and I was looking and I was like, let me make a account of what's popping up and what's the algorithm got me. You know what I'm saying?
Like, what is it that it thinks that I'm about? And like, oh, it's, it's, you know, so like I've been trying and it's my own fault, Fred. I was trying to lose weight, trying to like work out all this stuff. So every other fucking reel is either, now I understand, and for the ladies listening at my wife's area, where she is right now, it's not a choice. So it's like every reel is either like fat guy before and after Yeah.
Or, like, fat guy doing something insane. There's one where it's, like, this guy is, like, six hundred pounds. And, like, keep in mind, like, I know you can't see past, like, my shoulders and my and my ripped pecs. I am not six hundred pounds. Just for the listeners at home, like, I'm well south of that.
The well. I don't wanna be I'm like three fifty right now. Okay? I'll be honest. So, but it's like this guy, he's like six hundred pounds and he's like, I'm not gonna eat food for six months.
A liquid diet. A liquid diet. Yeah. And like, so it's like that, and then it's some, like, girl, every other the next one, I'm like, okay. Whatever.
Next one is, like, some girl in really tight pants being like, you need to try this exercise. Right. And I'm like, well, I mean, yeah, I should probably see how the form is. And then because I watched it Yeah. You see the form.
Because I watched it once, it becomes the whole thing. I was like, what can I do? Algorithm. Yeah. Algorithm's like, oh, you oh, you like those type of I like that?
Okay. Yeah. Let me just Obviously, guy who And then the next thing is recipes because I'm fat. It's that and that right there were, like, it will lead you down road to poison you. You know what I'm saying?
You keep watching them videos and then, like, you watch one that's, like, kind of like those videos, but Those videos are gateway porn Gateway porn, man. Well, I also feel like, you know, what do you call it? The ass shaking video. Now what's the thing when, you grow out, puberty? We do.
It's also a gateway to porn. So, you know, I mean, you can't, you know, it's it is what it is. Can't have it all. So but anyway, no. It's just it it's and so it's it's really irritating me because, again, it's like fat guy story, stupid thing, stupid, like, hot girl telling me some stupid thing that's not even real.
Right. Then, like, now they're they have these poster cleaner people that I keep popping up. I'm not I don't care. Poster cleaner? Yeah.
Like, these people who, like, redo posters, like, they they, like, get old posters that are, like, beat up. It's just like the rugs. Have you seen the people with the rug? Yeah. The rugs.
Yeah. And they, like You get stuck. They're just, like, cleaning that fucking rug. And they're, like, work on that rug. Yeah.
And I'm like, oh, a Tweety Bird rug. That costs $7. Yeah. You spent And you got it dirty. Thousand dollars in chemicals.
Yeah. Yeah. You got it dirty. But I'm they probably make $60,000 off the video. Yes.
The video. Yeah. You can't watch any Tweety Bird. That shit is hypnotizing me. No.
No. That's the problem. And that's exactly the problem too. It's the same thing with these poster people. Because what it is is they'll get these busted up ass posters or, like, folded up like old school, like old posters.
And they'll, like, put liquids on them that you I I don't know what they are. And they'll, like, relaminate them and, like, do all this stuff to them, make it like, make all the the creases go away. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah.
It's it's the short version of how it's made. Yeah. Yeah. And and I love How It's Made. Yeah.
How It's Made, man. Yeah. So Dude, you can spend forty five minutes watching How It's Made, like Yeah. Yeah. I know.
And I'm like and I'm and the whole time, I'm like, there are people in here who are like, this is my stupid fucking job. Why are people watching? This is the worst thing. Yeah. I know.
Here's how you make boat time. Because we only gotta do it for forty five minutes. You gotta do it for forty five years. Yeah. Right.
They're like, oh, no. They gotta do it in forty five seconds. You know? They'll do it in Yeah. Yeah.
But they're You know? Been in 45 states for forty five years. You know? Right. It's not so much fun.
It's just like the you know, there's like oh, good. My my ones I got stuck on watching was, like, either dude in the cabin, building a little cabin in the woods Oh, yeah. Yeah. Indigenous people building swimming pools. That's Yeah.
I get that's I got that's those two. You know what I mean? Yeah, man. Those indigenous Oh, look. Watching it right.
Yes. I'll be watching it right now. He's watching it right now. Yeah. I love it.
I love it, man. Even though it's fake, I love it. It's fake. Yeah. Apparently, it's like it well, not it's not fake.
Okay? It's not wholesale fake. Like, this isn't like CGI or anything. It's what it is is they show this, but, like, they'll do this part, but the heavy lifting, they get, like, an excavator or something. You know what I'm saying?
Which I shit. I would do the same thing. Yeah. What they're doing there is is They just moved hundreds of pounds a month of dirt. Yeah.
You can't do that with two dudes with sticks. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like Well, at the beginning, they try to make us believe that they did. Yeah.
Because they do it. They they do show up, like, take a little bit out. You know what I'm saying? Have a bucket. Right.
At the little Fisher Price shovel. Yeah. Like, here you go. Like, oh, shit. They got a new whole pool pool of official price show.
Wonder if it didn't get demonetized for this. I'd probably not since we don't make any money off this anyway. Well, anyway I mean, it don't actually, it looks more like porn. This is this is this is digging porn. If you're really gonna dig it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what this was the gateway for Fred. He started off with the shorts watching it, and now he's, like, full on into it.
He wants to the The Facebook reels don't work. I I get no audio. I mean, it just doesn't work. It just it just stays. I put I turned it away so that you can't watch it the rest of the show, Fred.
I'm sorry. I know you would have sat there like, they're doing it. So, well, I'm mad about it anyway, but it's over now because I'm just trying I'm trying to, like, just get away from it. I think that's what I'm gonna do because I noticed that, like, I'll be doing it, and then I'm like, I don't give a shit about any of these things. Right.
Like, halfway through, like, scroll I'm like, you know, I guess doom scrolling or whatever. I'm like, I don't even care. Like, why am I doing this? And then I'll, like, close it out, and then three minutes later, I'm like, oh, do it again. Do it again.
Yeah. You're right back in. No dick. You can't get away from it, man. No.
I can't. You can't get away with that. I was telling Al earlier, like, I'll I'll be like, oh, I wanna, just like, Facebook. I was like, what is my friend posted? And, like, I'll try to scroll through and get to my friend, but, like, I'll stop on the video, and then I forget all about, like, what the fuck I went to Facebook for.
Yeah. I was like, geez. He was hiding everything. He was like, I'm looking for my friend, but he's not here. I don't know, but I found this sonic fucking toothbrush that I need to keep.
I found this this, like Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Of knives that I need. Yeah.
Mine mine is all, like, golf videos. Like Yeah. It's, like, you know, funny golf videos or amazing shots or, you know Yeah. Well, see, I have a lot of basketball too. And that's the thing is it's like Right.
And then people and then I noticed and this is just I saw mania on the clouds probably. But, like, people will purposely post bad thing, like bad videos and be like but they're like the title will be like they'll be like because basketball. And they'll be like, was this a travel? And the guy takes, like, 50 steps. You know?
So you're like a % of travel. But then that's but that's what they gotta do because that starts the conversation. Yeah. And, like, one person's like, fuck you. You're stupid.
The other person's like, no. You're stupid. And then it has 500 That's LeBron James. That's how LeBron James makes a layup. You know what I'm saying?
Right. And then, like, it's an argument. And that is everything. You know. Yeah.
50,000 comments. Well, Fred, I don't wanna I don't wanna strike up emotion and get everybody talking. But I do have, a question that was sent in by a listener. Okay. And it might be a little I'm not gonna lie to you.
It might be a little controversial. Okay. But he's a real listener. This is a real no. This is not I have nothing to do with this.
Mhmm. Okay. And I don't know if he wants his name out there or not. But if he does, let me know and I'll I'll be watching the show right now? He might be.
He said he was going to last week, but then he talks Oh, hey. Would you like to there's Steve's watching. Hey, Steve. We're on so late. Oh, Steve's watching prime time.
Hey, Steve. We're prime time, baby. This is when the shit comes gets real. So Yeah. Alright.
Here's here it is. We're working for shit. I'm Okay. I'm not changing context or the wording at all. Okay?
Here's the text that I received. I have a or I got a question for the BLC. K? Is it more racist to do blackface or to assume someone is doing blackface? So he says, here's what got me thinking that way.
And let me say okay. I was like, oh, man. It's wrong nowadays for someone to like obviously he knows, and this is probably why he doesn't want, you know what I'm saying? Like, to get his name out there. So he's like, I know blackface is wrong.
Right? He's like, but I was thinking, is it more wrong that I am assuming someone else's race, or is it more wrong that they're doing blackface? So He assumes assume assume, like, oh, he said really dark blue blackface. From Africa. I think, like, instead of assuming, like, oh, that's that's a white dude doing blackface.
Right. I want you to know if if it's worse that he had just the guy is which is worse, blackface or assuming that someone is doing blackface? So wait a minute. Assuming So I don't I don't know what assuming what he means blackface does. And that's what's if a guy's a coworker, he's not doing blackface because he's a coworker.
You know, he's got coal all over his face, I guess. Oh, no. No. He said, is it like okay. Is it worse to assume?
Is is blackface worse doing blackface worse than seeing someone doing blackface and saying that white guy should not be doing blackface? But you assume that it's a white guy, but you don't know that. Because he has on blackface. Right. So and then and then the second part of this question would you not know?
You don't know who he could be Asian. Well, I let well, like, Michael Jackson. Exactly. Who is on first season? No.
Because he would see he would see his if he was if he was Asian with blackface, you'd see his See? Lies. This is why now is it more racist I'm just saying. Would you not be able to see his eyes? I don't know.
Was it blackface with was it black face and sunglasses on inside at night? Yeah. They're not yeah. With a hoodie on. Is it unibombers, you know, with blackouts?
Yeah. What is who else is in a blackface? Do you think you could get away with that? Now that would be the YouTube prank that I would see wanna see. I've I've seen, like, I think it was Asians do Indians.
Like Okay. From India. Yeah. Like brown face. I'd be like Asians doing brown face.
Yeah. Like, no. And he's gonna and then thought that shit was fucking racist too. You know what I'm saying? They were like, no.
That shit ain't fucking right. And then they did yellow face, I guess, in retaliation. Also racist. Well, you're getting old. Let's just let's put everybody on blast lane.
Now so my question is, like, if you, I totally forgot what I was gonna say. No. I don't remember now. Oh, yeah. So would I would watch a YouTube video of a guy of a white guy.
I wouldn't I wouldn't necessarily agree with it, but I would watch it. Doing blackface, wearing a hoodie and sunglasses, and going into a convenience store in the ghetto at night. And seeing if he can get away with getting Trying to rob it. A malt liquor. No.
Not trying to rob it. Just trying to get some, forties. But as a black I mean, it's not the nineties. It's not the dressed up as the black guy? Yeah.
Him in blackface. A guy a white guy blackface going to the ghetto. Blackface. Blackface. Blackface.
To the ghetto. To the ghetto. That. I know you don't wanna do that. You didn't wanna do that in the movies.
See you do it. Yeah. Yeah. You would do that. You would watch it.
Right? I would. I wouldn't be in the middle with it in the sense that I might get murdered. But I No. I'm not gonna nobody get murdered necessarily.
Because, like, for example, even in Die Hard, in the Can you give me a lesson about that? When, when he made, the when they made a McLean wear the thing, it had the n word and he was in the Yeah. You know, still, it was a movie and it was still it was comfortable. It was a dude because you're figuring he's in The Bronx. And if you ever been to The Bronx or Brooklyn, you know, you're like I I saw it at the theater and, like, you know, this scene came up and I read the sign and I looked around and I saw all these white people.
I was like, yeah. Y'all read the sign too in your head. You said it in your head, didn't you? I didn't hear that, didn't you? Shame on you.
Zips. I saw I saw a video today. I saw a video today, like, start out as like a mom. She was like, for Halloween, we're doing stranger things. And my son and his dad made this really awesome demigorgon, costume.
Like, it was it was it was tight. You know what I mean? Because the kid was, like, tall and skinny. You know what I'm saying? And they had the they had the head, you know, like that.
So when he did like that, when he opened his arms, the face would pop over like, you know what I'm saying? Nice. Yeah. It was, like, really cool. And, and then they She's like, she's wearing black.
Yeah. Here's here's our, picture of all of us together. They had everybody, like, dressed up like a character. You could tell, oh, there's there's, 11 and there's, Mike and Steve. Yeah.
There's everything. I was like, yo, Lucas. Like, straight blackface. You know what I'm saying? I told you, man.
I know. Blackface too. Like like Yeah. It's a I hate to say it, but, like, I was like, that's that's a damn good blackface. Fuck you for wearing it.
But, like Yeah. Yeah. But okay. In the context, like, in the context, you know, you figured it's Halloween. In the context, is it racist?
Yeah. Is it somebody No. It's racist because somebody's dressing up. It's racist because Somebody is dressing somebody is dressing up like a black person. And it's not like it's not like I am dressing up like Martin Luther King type.
I'm you know, this is a character and you you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I mean, is it racist to dress up as Martin Luther King? Well, I mean No. But you just you just can't you can't brown up and be smart.
Well, okay. Well, speaking of that, speaking of browning up, Fred, and we're gonna get off the subject because it's not going down a good road. I do have a question. He said that. Fred, in your opinion and I like this I like that we could ask you this question without you getting offended.
Y'all made me lose my black card. No. This is an easy one. No. This is an easy question.
And I think I know the answer, but I wanna know for sure. Is it more offensive to do Black card police. Yeah. Sorry. It's the BPD.
We'll be there in fifteen minutes. We're all gonna see here. Yeah. About a minute to see. So, Fred, is it more racist to do, let's say, Michael Jackson blackface than it is to do, say, Manute Bol blackface?
Or is it Manute Bol who is the darkest man alive? Yeah. Which is more is it more racist to do light skinned dark blackface or dark skinned blackface? Well, I mean, Michael Jackson, you really didn't have to do blackface. All you had to do was wear the the jacket and The way you knew.
Everybody knew who you were. Right. But if you wanted to do it Mhmm. Saskatoon. I mean Not in my house.
Either either one. I just didn't know if it was Manu Bol being, like, literally made of I would say I would say you're gonna get your ass kicked if you do Manute Bol. Right. You might not get your ass kicked if you do Michael Jackson. I mean So that tells me that it's more racist to do the darker tone.
There you go. There you go. I mean, at least it's I am and I agree. That's what I think too. Because I'm thinking, like, yeah.
You would be You're putting you're putting blackface on a sliding scale. Like Well, I'm not saying that any of us Yeah. But what it let's say I mean, but let's say, like, for example, LeBron. You know, a lot of white kids idolize LeBron because, you know, he's actually a basketball player. Right.
LeBron face. You know? Really? No. No.
Why can't you do LeBron face ever? No. No. I'm saying. They wanna just they wanna just the black what?
No. Yeah. They they don't have to do the black face. You know? You already know.
You are the number savior. Yes. Know. You know? Yeah.
Get some shit. Right. You don't have to do the Walk around with baby powder on your hands. Well, there's really no excuse to really do. Doing the claps?
No. Unless you're gonna unless you're gonna dress up like a friend. You doing it you doing it because you think it's funny. Right. Or you're trying to be Yeah.
And you know Stop. Nobody is gonna who's gonna see you is gonna kick ass. So because you know you're not gonna do it around nobody. You know what I mean? You're gonna you're not gonna do it around nobody who you know gonna punch you in the face.
Offense to it. You know what I mean? Take offense to it. You know what I mean? Or be willing to take enough offense to it to kick your ass.
Right. Yeah. Yeah. But I know. You know what?
Karen, you're so crazy. Do you Alan, do you not think being racist is a lot of work? Because in my opinion It's gotta be. It's a lot more work. To be racist?
Hate is hard. Yeah. Hate hate is hard, man. Yeah, dude. But I don't hate anybody.
Well, buddy, no. I mean, I hate everybody, but not in that sense. Why? No. But I'm saying because the hell are you lazy, and it take take too much work to pay.
Exactly. That's exactly what you're saying. I don't. You know, I don't. I mean, honestly, I didn't know what racism was until I moved to The States.
Right. We had no idea. Everybody looks the same. Cause y'all was all y'all was all one race. Yeah.
Y'all was all one race. Yeah. So we had I had no idea what I was here. It was like. It was.
Wait. There was classism over there. Classism over there. Yeah. Something rich people.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, exactly. That's what it was. That's what it was. That's what it was.
I mean, I had no idea. You know? I Yeah. I moved in. Job, but did okay.
So, like, did you did y'all have this? Like, did y'all call, like, people who were who thought they were white? Did you call them coconuts? No. No.
No. No. No. You didn't call coconuts. You know, like, white people were white.
You know? Right. And and and and and then we had the the real dark because there's a part in the island that they're really black, And we would call them, you know, they're from there, you know, from Loiza. Yeah. Yeah.
You know, but everybody was the same, you know. And it was and it was and it wasn't and actually and it was more not with your color, it was your size. So, you know, they'd be like Flaco would be like skinny. Hey, skinny guy. Come here.
Yeah. Yeah. Guy, come here. You know? Yeah.
And then if you were blonde, it'd be like, hey, blondie. Come here. You know? That's you know? But it wasn't you know?
It wasn't there. Yeah. It went he just got all of my kids. Yeah. It was anyway Well, I mean, everybody went to the beach and met.
But by the time you got back from the beach, we were all dark, so it didn't matter. Yeah. You know? So it was like, I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't get it. You know?
I still don't get it. No. And you never will. And that's the thing, Alex. It is.
It's a lot of work, man. And not saying that because I am racist, because I can only imagine, like, imagine having to boycott, and I will say to a certain extent, I get it. Like boycott businesses and a whole month and, like, being like, ugh, I'm in a place where there are people of color. Imagine the food you couldn't eat, Alan, if you were racist. Yeah.
Just imagine the sadness. That would be horrible. There has to be sadness all around. And how and how can you and how can you be like that against somebody? Like, if you're a business, you know, and some you know, it's money, man.
I I see green. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody looks the same to a business owner. They all look like green to me.
Yep. You know? I mean, that that's how it is, man. But you gotta, you know, some people don't think that way. Nope.
So You know, talking about, Brown, at my job, they, Oh, god. I don't know where this is gonna go. And they, they implemented a policy that, if you fart, you get written up. Because we have a hot. It's it's true.
We have a two man team in in the truck. And if you fart in the truck, you tell the manager they write you up. Now why is that rule? Who is that rule? Well, yeah.
Somebody fought you in the tour. It was bad. It was, like, really bad. This guy was cute. And he said, That guy's name was Alan.
You know? But I just I just thought it was funny when the email came through. Yeah. I was like, wait a minute. What are you talking about here?
I've got another one. It's not. He eyed us on farts. Fart. I was like, okay.
If you say so. Well, Fred, so you said you had you had your own question of the week this week. Right. Well, yeah, I had a question. I was just thinking about some things.
I I saw a article the other day, and they said they were gonna there was a nothing in motion or anything like that, but it was just, I guess, idea. Let's say, they offered some you government or whatever offered you, I guess, yeah, $2,000,000. Okay. Right now, we'll guarantee right now tax free, but when you turn 75, you have to euthanize yourself. Oh, sure.
I can make it 75, man. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. If they give me $2,000,000, I'm definitely gonna make it 75.
Oh, no. Hookers would blow, man. I'd be dead by shit. Yeah. I'd save for now, 54 and a half, maybe.
I'd save $200,000 of it. Yeah. Put it in like, I could only access it on my 70 birthday and beyond. I'd be like, this year That's your retirement. We're going we're going out.
This is your retirement. Yeah. Skydiving on a parachute. Whatever it takes. Alright.
Let's go. No. Well, what is that? So is that oh, this is a hypothetical. Okay.
This isn't like This is hypothetical. Yeah. Okay. So I think I think they they said well, I think it was based off of what, like, the Eskimos used to do. Like, you know Right.
Where they would kill the old people so that the Yeah. Because they would still push them off on the iceberg. You know what I'm saying? Out to the scene. You know what I mean?
Yeah. What a convenient way to hear it. Just so, like, out of sight, out of mind. Yeah. Like, off you go.
On you. They're like, we never heard from him again. Of course not. And, there is that. They lived a terrible last couple days.
Yeah, dude. I have follow-up. Like, what's the best case scenario? Yeah. Fleazed to death on a fucking iceberg in the fucking middle of the ocean?
That's it. Eskos are jerks. It's gonna be about $2,000,000, and then you they what they they kill you when you're you're euthanized or whatever. Yeah. You gotta go go to the camp.
Yeah. You gotta go to the euthanization center. Yeah. Go to the root cause. They call it the last roots crisp.
Yeah. Last early bird special. Sitting there and give you a good meal and maybe It's in this cafeteria. Yep. And they're like, you wanna listen to You get a beat in three?
You get a beat in three? Go for it. Damn it. Go for it. And you get a seat.
And the way that they the way that they convince the the way they make sure that every 75 year old goes in is that it's senior special is free. Yeah. They're like, if you're 75 or older, it's free. And they're like, I can't wait. Can't be the deal.
Right. Like, I I wouldn't wanna take lose our early bird special. Yeah. I don't know, man. I would say yes.
I would But when would you get the $2,000,000? You would get it today. Right then. When would you sign the price? You just have to know that if you turn 75 Right.
Or soon as you turn 75, they're coming for you. Let's say let's say you get it you get it at 35. You know how many people are gonna have You get it at 35. Oh, yeah. Forty years.
You got forty years. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Gonna spend their, like, hammer, man. Oh, they can forty years.
Two million dollars in forty years. That's not what No. But if you No. You you you you do right with $2,000,000, you could be all you'd be alright. Shit.
Not me. I just spent it like I said, I just spent it like Hammer. See, I don't know. You'd be alright. Yeah.
Yeah. I I spent that. I'd be like, gone, man. I'll be out of money I'll be out of money in, like, a year. Yeah.
Because I was like, worked here. He made it. You know what I'm saying? He made it. Like, he he did all the victories and did all the bloat Yeah.
And he fucking survived it. Yep. And here he goes. Now he's got thirty eight years. Yeah.
He's got thirty eight more years. Knowing that I'm gonna die when I'm 75. Yeah. It might not be okay, but, you know Well, again I mean, you gotta feel like having a cap would be nice because, especially, I feel like when you get really elderly and you have, like, whatever money you have left, you don't know if you're gonna live to be 95. Right.
Yeah. So, like, you gotta be like, oh, well, maybe I shouldn't do this. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.
If I was like, listen, I got three and a half weeks left. Like, I'm, yeah, I'm gonna buy the fucking gold coins, the Trump gold coins. Yeah. These are the mint coins. Like, I have to have them in my collection before the day.
Yep. They'll protect me. Yep. That'll be the perfect gift when you when you're dead. It's like, for my son.
Yep. Trump Gold Coin collection. GBC special. GBC. Will appreciate value.
Yep. But I'll I'll buy my kids there. I'll I'll leave him that ladder that turns both oh, that ladder that turns all the different ways. Oh, yeah. The one that broke in the middle.
The one that that is exactly what would definitely happen to me, which is why I'll never buy it. No. Because as soon as I get on that thing, that thing is not made for me. That would be my inspirational Facebook fucking short is me trying to climb that ladder. Like, this fat guy tries to climb a ladder.
You know, it'll be, like, all slow mo. Right before a break and freeze frame is, that's the only thing he fucked up. Little did he know. That's what he knew. He fucked up.
Yep. Exactly. Be a black and white. Yeah. Yep.
They would. And then they do the thing that they used to do, which they don't do anymore as much where they do the, glasses at in the, like, the blunt. Oh, and the joint. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
The deal with it. Whatever. On the glasses, like, on the ladder? That'd be awesome. Yeah.
The ladder would have it. Yeah. The ladder would be the one that would have it. Yeah. They'd be like, that's a hell of a ladder.
Alright. Well, let's take a quick break. Oh, Alan, we didn't get your answer. Did you say yes or no? Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Like I said, yeah. I said, yeah. I said, yeah. I mean, you said, man, we are It's not a year.
Yeah. We are. You tell we are broke. Because someone would Yeah. Be $2,000,000 would be like, oh, did you see Arnold Schwarzenegger on, he was on this financial podcast the other day.
And this lady or this podcast, this lady was like, hey, what's your, your financial tip? It was like him and like two two ladies and the dude. Right? And they're all younger. You know, he's a little older guy.
And, they're like, like, do you have any financial advice for, you know, from people listening to everything? And he's like, yes. They say making your first million is the hottest, so make your second million first. And, like, and then all of them are, like, like, waiting for him, like, trying to figure out what he they said, and he's like, that's supposed to be a joke. And they, like, didn't get it.
It was terrible. It was like, it's a millionaire's joke. We don't get it. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That's what they're meant to do. Right. Yeah. So we'll take a quick break while you guys enjoy that joke.
We'll be back with more of The Beatles in podcast. The Black Lincoln Collective podcast will return after a word from our sponsors. Welcome back to the one hundred and eighty first edition. First. Yeah.
Pretty bad. Of the Black League Collective podcast. We're so glad you're with us, Fred. That's a tiny little water bottle. Is that Yes.
It is. It's tiny water. Is that the man you're telling water? Yeah. I mean, I like to drink my waters out of big bottles.
We watched, we started watching Kizam the other day because Jack was like, I wanna watch a basketball movie. And I was like, alright. Cool. So I put on like Shazam. I was like, it's got Shaq in it.
Yeah. Kazam or Shazam? It shows it should wait. What you wanna know? It's Kazam.
It's Kazam. Flated Sinbad movie that didn't happen or did It didn't happen. Or did. It didn't happen. So in a weird world, Fred, it's a weird world out there.
Some shit happens and it doesn't. The Bernstein bars and the Bardstein beers and all that shit. Weird stuff, Fred. And that's why this week, we're gonna spend a little time diving into the weird world of weird news. Weird news.
So Yes. Weird. No. So, Fred Of course not. We did this previously, and I have a lot of stories for you.
I'm not gonna run through them all, so I'm gonna let you pick. I'm gonna give you and Alan just a cup like, I'm gonna give you the, what do you call it, the highlights. Not even the highlights. Just, like, one word description of the story. Yeah.
And I'm gonna let you know which ones you no. They're all lowlights. I can assure you of that. Okay. So we have toes, auction, toilet, dog, turtle pants, penis, whale poop I've already forgotten all the other ones.
And zombie pee pee. He gave us too much information. Okay. Toilet. Toilet.
Alright. We'll go to toilet first. So, Fred, it's courtesy of our friends at Do it after fighting the water. The gang this no. This one's out of order for real.
The gang a gang has been caught, and they're being they're guilty of stealing a gold toilet worth £4,800,000,000 or euros, I guess, whatever that is. So the gang has been convicted over the theft of a 4,800,000.0, whatever, gold toilet from an art exhibition at Bleinheim Palace. They smashed their way in and ripped out the functional toilet after hours after the launch party in September. Oh, this wasn't a while yet. So, but they found out it's a 4.8.
It's a 4.8. How would you why would you buy How would you carry it? You that would be a little something. And it was functioning. Yeah.
I was thinking that Yeah. Somebody would take it straight on. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was I think they said in the museum that, like, you could use the toilet.
Right. I'm sure nobody wanted to use an oiler. I don't wanna use I was gonna use it. I would use I would use all the toilet. Fuck of it.
No. I mean, like, I'm trying to squeeze I'm gonna take it I'm gonna take it a dump and try to squeeze a part of it in my butt cheeks. I will. I will. Lid off the bat.
I'm a take the lid off the bat and put it on my pants. And so you're saying if it's pure gold, man. You you you're still dead. Yeah. You're sitting there and it was just Oh, yeah.
So, yeah, within days, the artwork, which would you guys like to guess what the $4,800,000 or 4.8 we're just gonna say dollar because it's America. Four Point Eight Million Dollar, toilet was called because it was art. It's a o two lit. Here in the toilet. No.
Worse than that. What's that? What's that? And actually, I feel like I feel bad because I just said it without actually knowing what's going on. The poo poo litter.
The artwork called America had been taken up and sold to court heard. So none of the gold has been recovered. So they immediately melted the toilet. Yeah. Well, that's a smart thing to do.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got it. So there are five people involved.
They've only caught two of them so far. The other three are They go by the the the way to figure out is go by the neighborhood and everybody's wearing gold chains and shit like they're all like mister t. No. You're trying to come to America. Yeah.
They smell all this shit. They just all walk around weird. They're gonna wear fur coats and shit. Yeah. Alright.
So how about this? We got toes Toes. Auction, dog, turtle pants, whale poop, and that's pretty much it. Does it toes? Toes.
Yeah. Weiner as well. Okay. Toes. So under toes, Fred, and you're gonna love this one.
Oh, I'm access denied to the toes. Oh, I feel like Alright. And then females. No. Well, I wanna tell you what it was though.
Damn it. Hold on. Let me find it. Okay. I'll tell you penis then.
Let me grab it. Alright. Penis. Let me grab it. K.
An embalmer, Fred, in Houston, a licensed in licensed embalmer in from Texas is facing charges after officials say she cut off a dead man's penis in February with a scalpel after finding out he was a registered sex offender. That's right. According to the honorary a constable, I'm not gonna we don't we do not we've already said this, we don't glorify the terrorist. Right? So let me see if this person is What'd you get that from?
What's that? Lorraine Bobbitt dot com? Oh, no. She's she looks like she this lady okay. So let me read the story while you guys see this lady.
Everybody look at this lady and tell me this lady doesn't look like she would, in fact, cut off a baby. I bet you she's done it before. She just got just got caught. Yeah. That because she's a mortician.
Right? Yeah. So officials say this lady oh, I'm sorry. You can't see it. Well, she was very cheap.
And she's wearing sunglasses. She's wearing sunglasses indoors. Inside a bill. Inside a bill. That is true.
That is true. So according to this, the 34 year old is charged with felony abuse of a corpse for the incident that occurred. They said she cut off the genitals of a gentleman who was 58 and was a registered sex offender. So apparently the report said that she removed the man's genitals, stuffed his penis into his mouth, and then fed him into the cremation machine. Yeah.
That that's a, Well, here let me tell you how would they know. According to witnesses, she did it after she learned he was British. Her sex offender five pounds light. And, the charge document also says that Louder that the lady, I don't wanna say her name, was in the presence of an embalming student at the time who allegedly told the trainee, you didn't see anything. So there you go.
That's exactly right. You didn't see shit, and he turned around and said something, or Or she turned around and said something. Come on. There you go. Damn.
That's what happens, man. That's good. So okay. So that's weird. Gross.
Right? Gold toilets out of the way. Toes or no, no, not toes. It's just Okay. So how about we got auction dog, turtle pants.
Hey, turtle pants. Turtle pants. Turtle pet TSA finds turtle in traveler's pants at Allen's favorite airport. Gotta be in Florida. You would think.
I'll let you guess. I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna read the first sentence, and I'm gonna let you guys guess two facts. K? Okay. A Blank man, so from a state, was caught with a turtle hidden in his pants at blank international airport security checkpoint last week.
Do you want me to read the whole thing and then you guys take a guess? Yeah. When the man walked through the scanner on Friday, it triggered an alarm in the area of his grow in, and he was stopped by TSA officials according to a statement from the agency. The TSA officer patted down the man and felt something and asked if he had something hidden. The man's he the TSA officer said, is that a turtle in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
No. A turtle. Myself is a turtle. It's not Florida. It's not Florida.
It's not Florida. If it's not Florida, then It's not Florida, and it you also have to guess the name the what airport it was in. And it's near and dear to your heart. So both of your hearts, these two things are near and dear to both of your hearts individually. GSP?
Yeah. If it was a GSP, we'd know. That'd be all over. No. We would yeah.
We would know. We would it would've been us. That would be. It'd be a turtle and six. Yeah.
Turtle and Yeah. The interview with the turtle that was in the man's pants. They said I wasn't turtle enough. I I I'd say Las Vegas. Be glad I wasn't a snapping turtle.
I'd say probably Vegas. No. The man was from the great state of Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Course, this happened nowhere else.
There's nowhere else I would be more likely to guess this happened than Newark Liberty Airport. Oh, yeah. It all makes sense now. Yeah. When you throw in Pennsylvania man caught with turtle hidden in his pants at Newark Airport.
Makes perfect sense. That's crazy. There you go. Turtle. So, okay.
Hold on. Let me find my okay. Here we go. I found toes. I got back to the story.
So, Fred, what do you think of people in Australia? Mhmm. Carl, mate. Yeah, mate. They got a big, Upside down wings.
Be, they're pretty They got a big ass spiders over there, so they braver than me. They are. They do have a lot of spiders. Don't like that. Well, Fred, you're not gonna like this one lady from Australia.
Oh, no. She admits to trying to sell human toes that were regurgitated by dogs on the black market. Yes. An Australian woman narrowly avoided jail Monday over her plans to sell on the black market two human toes that dogs had regurgitated at the animal shelter when she worked. Yes.
This this lady was not at the shelter when the two dogs vomited up the toes and some other remains, but the dogs. Oh, see, I didn't read this far. I wish I would have, and I'm glad I didn't. The dogs, which had been surrendered to the shelter, had eaten parts of their owner's body after he died of natural causes. Toads from a bin and took them home where she put them in a jar of formaldehyde.
She believed she could make as much as 400 Australian dollars by selling them online. Fred, how many dollars in America dollars do you think Australian dollars are? It's about the same. Probably about the same. Yeah.
About $250 is 400 Australian buckaroos. Really? She thought she could make about $2.50. So the police arrived at her home based on an anonymous tip. Yeah, anonymous tip Craigslist.
She also found she showed them other items that she had been keeping, including including an alligator claw, a bird skull, a guinea pig trotter. I don't know what that is. And children's teeth. Her children's. So she's just collecting dead stuff and trying to sell Alan, you are very, very close.
Both of you guys are really close. Said she was an active member of a Facebook group called Bone Buddies Australia, and that's where they caught her with it. So she could have faced up to two years in prison, but they didn't do that. I think they just kinda let her off with Yeah. Hundred and fifty hours.
She has, hundred and fifty hours of community. Yeah. She didn't kill she didn't kill him. He said that the, the judge said by the barest possible margins, you will not be going to jail today. You made it by the skin of your toes.
Yeah. He didn't say this You ever see Gerald's Game? You ever read that book? No. This is a book.
Gerald's Game. Like, it's a did you say what is a book? No. I said no because it's a book. Because because it's a book.
Oh, I like to read books, just say you know. No. We write a by the by the man and the woman that went to the cabin and to, like, rekindle their marriage, and they started playing, like, sex games and, you know, he handcuffed to the bed, then he had a heart attack. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I yeah. Yeah. And then the She had to eat her. The dogs came and ate her? Ate they ate they ate the husband.
Like Yeah. Do you remind me, our dogs will eat you if you don't eat Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Animals will. Yeah. They'll they'll eat you. They'll do it happily. Mhmm.
If they get hungry, yeah, they're gonna eat And Every dog will eat anything. I mean, so will Lee. I mean, the humans would we've done it before as humans. Yeah. Yeah.
Do you think you would do you think if you were, like, didn't have anything else, then you would you would eat a Yeah. That guy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure they I'm sure they could people in in ships and stuff and when they were going, you know, and they ran out of food, they'd eat each other.
I mean, they'd Well, you know, Speaking of dogs and eating people, our last story tonight, Fred, is one of of great interest to me as a person who owns a dog. Yes. I don't want this to happen to me or anyone else, but Fred, dog bites man is hardly news these days, but in Tennessee recently, a dog shot a man according to authorities. It happens all the time. It wasn't his only Scooby Scooby shot Shaggy.
They come here. Ruh roh roh roh. So in what's only the latest instance of a kind of accidental shooting that apparently occurs in The US occasionally, a guy reported to the police that he and his lady were lying on their bed with a firearm when the dog jumped up and inadvertently caused the weapon to discharge. What can you do with the firearm in the bed? Well, hey.
You can do whatever you want. You're doing whatever you want with that thing, baby. Come on. The bullet grazed the man atop his left thigh. And according to local news, he was he was okay.
But he got the his paw stuck in the trigger guard of his owner's gun. Yeah. So I was like, he didn't kill it. Or did he? No.
He did go to the hospital. Right. And Doug is like, Albo, fuck yourself. Yeah. Shoot you.
I'll give him a bit. Time gadget. Alright. So let's play let's play a real quick game, Fred, because this could go either way. The guy who got shot alright?
Now keep in mind let me give you some details. Alan, of course, you're welcome to play this as well. The guy who got shot, his dog's name was Oreo. K? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. However, he was a pit the dog was a pit bull. Alright? Now the gentleman's name is Gerald Kirkwood, spelled with a j.
Alright. Gerald with a j. In your opinion, is Gerald Kirkwood a white guy or a white guy? He's white. Alan, what do you think?
I'm gonna say he's a white dude. You guys apparently actually, you know what? I don't know what these words are. Oh, it's in Portuguese, so Alan couldn't tell me either. Yeah.
No. He is not a white guy. Portuguese? Yeah. Portuguese, and no.
He is a a larger gentleman with a darker complexion. Right. There Could be a white guy in blackface. I don't know. Maybe.
He could be because he has a mustache of a white guy. So Oh, poor thing. Can we show you his pictures? Now does he have a, like, a a sporting fashion? Let me just show you here.
Let's see. And this is translated from Portuguese. Because in Portugal, they don't fuck around. They find the picture of the guy who gets shot by his own dog. No.
Because that's Look at the picture of the dog they found, though. He's got, like, one eye that's kinda like I don't see him. I see you, black. Well, you don't do and and that doesn't look nothing like like, Orio would look kinda like Zelda, like my dog. It's black and white.
But, apparently, this is the gentleman because this is This looks like a, like, a Oh, Fred can't see it. Son of a gun, Fred. Yeah. He looks like Biggie. He does kinda look like Biggie in the best way.
Spanish man. Yeah. That dude is not Spanish. Yeah. He looks like Biggie.
In the dog, damn it. He looks like Biggie in the dog. Why would a why would a Portuguese newspaper be reporting on a black dude that shot himself? Because he said it said that the dog was jealous of his wife. Wait.
What? That's some that's fucking that's what That's what Dogs are dumb. So they Dogs are dumb. They are. No.
They're they're smarter than dumb. What the fuck does that mean? Hey. There you go. Figure that out.
Yeah. There you go. Here you go. Because that Smart and dumb. Broke my brain.
They're smarter than dumb. Figure that shit out. There you go. That's all you need to know about this show. We're smarter than dumb.
Alright, ladies and gentlemen. I think unless you guys have something else, I think we're gonna scoot on out of here and blow our brains out with thinking after that. Yes. Those are, words of wisdom. Words of wisdom.
Where's the lipo? Yeah. Words to die by. Good night, everybody. We'll see you next week if we make it.
Yeah. I'll see you later. Yeah. See you later. We are laughing, and we are very good friends.
Good buds. Very special moment. That's it, man. Game over, man. It's game over.
Just hang loose blood. She's gonna catch up on a rebound out of Mid's eye. Into the chopper. He's med side. Oh, what a dick.
I don't know what is it. Well, that's Hasta la vista, baby. Goddamn hit. Don't worry. Nobody's listening anyway.
As you know, I'm a man of special needs. Surely you can't be serious. I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.