Black Lincoln Collective Podcast

Jumpshots and Jackasseries | The Black Lincoln Collective Comedy Podcast

Episode Summary

In the 127th installment of the Black Lincoln Collective podcast, the hosts, Parker, Fred, and Alan, take you on a journey that's as erratic as it is hilarious. Right from the start, you're strapped in for an evening that promises to be a bumpy yet thoroughly enjoyable ride. Imagine a podcast that's become a viral sensation, not just for its content but for its presence in the most unexpected of places – rest area bathrooms. It's the kind of show that you tune into, not just for the laughs but for the sense of camaraderie and the feeling of being part of an exclusive club, one that's in on the joke and loving every minute of it. This episode, in particular, is a treasure trove of anecdotes, witty banter, and the kind of off-the-cuff remarks that you'd share with your closest friends. The hosts' chemistry is palpable, making you feel like you're right there with them, swapping stories and sharing a laugh. But it's not all just talk. The episode heats up with a Sriracha challenge that's as fiery as it sounds. Will the hosts handle the heat or will they be reaching for the nearest glass of milk? You'll have to listen to find out. And if you've ever had any experience with youth sports, whether as a coach, a parent, or a spectator, you'll find yourself nodding along and chuckling at the absurdities and truths shared about coaching kids in basketball. The Black Lincoln Collective podcast is more than just a show; it's an experience. It's where you go when you need a break from the mundane, a place to unwind and let loose with a few friends who just happen to have a microphone between them. Don't miss out on what might just be the best episode ever – and that's saying something for a show that's already 127 episodes deep. Tune in, have a laugh, and who knows, you might just find yourself looking forward to the next rest stop on your journey – if only to check if the rumors are true. Listen now and join the collective – where every episode is a giant leap for podcast-kind.

Episode Notes

In the 127th installment of the Black Lincoln Collective podcast, the hosts, Parker, Fred, and Alan, take you on a journey that's as erratic as it is hilarious. Right from the start, you're strapped in for an evening that promises to be a bumpy yet thoroughly enjoyable ride.

 

Imagine a podcast that's become a viral sensation, not just for its content but for its presence in the most unexpected of places – rest area bathrooms. It's the kind of show that you tune into, not just for the laughs but for the sense of camaraderie and the feeling of being part of an exclusive club, one that's in on the joke and loving every minute of it.

 

This episode, in particular, is a treasure trove of anecdotes, witty banter, and the kind of off-the-cuff remarks that you'd share with your closest friends. The hosts' chemistry is palpable, making you feel like you're right there with them, swapping stories and sharing a laugh.

 

But it's not all just talk. The episode heats up with a Sriracha challenge that's as fiery as it sounds. Will the hosts handle the heat or will they be reaching for the nearest glass of milk? You'll have to listen to find out. And if you've ever had any experience with youth sports, whether as a coach, a parent, or a spectator, you'll find yourself nodding along and chuckling at the absurdities and truths shared about coaching kids in basketball.

 

The Black Lincoln Collective podcast is more than just a show; it's an experience. It's where you go when you need a break from the mundane, a place to unwind and let loose with a few friends who just happen to have a microphone between them.

 

Don't miss out on what might just be the best episode ever – and that's saying something for a show that's already 127 episodes deep. Tune in, have a laugh, and who knows, you might just find yourself looking forward to the next rest stop on your journey – if only to check if the rumors are true.

 

Listen now and join the collective – where every episode is a giant leap for podcast-kind.

(00:00) Welcome to the Black Lincoln Collective podcast. It's alive. All right, fasten your seatbelt

(01:00) This is the 127th Black Lincoln Collective podcast

(04:50) Fred Lincoln plays basketball with his sons and loses by 16 points

(08:52) Two white people fighting over a 12-year-old basketball game

(12:22) Dad says man threatened to fight him, but we're better than him

(16:39) Fred BlC. says he's over controversy surrounding his basketball team

(20:57) Fred says youth basketball has not been fun for him as a coach

(25:09) Fred: I'm against abbreviations for the word crossing

(28:21) I wanted to snowboard so bad, and then I went and

(31:57) The Black Lincoln collective podcast will return after a word from our sponsors

(34:29) Fred Blackland takes on the hot sauce taste test of the century

(38:16) Next on the taste test of pain is Hawaiian lava hot sauce

(40:52) Red mustard, courtesy of asian bottle man. This is absolutely delicious. Yes, it is delicious. Now, this is when we get into

(43:43) Now we'll go to our traditional, or our old new style rooster

(44:30) This is a black Lincoln collective exclusive food review, sort of

(47:29) Tell me about what goes on a Philly cheesesteak

(48:53) For that, I have some words, some of the most unusually long english words

(51:35) The definition of consingenuous is of the same blood or origin

(53:55) This sentence was published in the New York Herald Tribune in 1959

(54:25) The manner by which LSD 25 produces its mental changes is obscure

(56:24) An infant in Louisiana underwent a successful xenotransplantation Friday

(01:01:11) Pigs have replaced primates as primary candidates for xenotransplantation to humans

(01:01:46) This is legitimately on the list. Jackasseseries. And this should be an easy one. Any guesses

(01:03:26) Next week on the BLC podcast will be celebrating Black History Month

(01:06:39) Shirley: I tried to wear my hat backwards today

 

 

Episode Transcription

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>> Parker: To go over again. All right,

 

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fasten your seatbelt.

 

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>> Parker: It's going to be our bumpy night.

 

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Alive. It's

 

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alive. It's

 

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alive.

 

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>> Parker: Welcome to the Black Lincoln Collective

 

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podcast. Oh,

 

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this is gonna be fun. We can stay up late swapping manly

 

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stories. And in the morning, I'm making pop

 

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with your host, Parker,

 

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featuring the sultry hounds of Fred, and also

 

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Alan on the board.

 

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Let's go already.

 

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And now let's start the damn show.

 

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Welcome. Welcome, one and all to the, what,

 

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127th episode of the Black Lincoln Collective

 

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podcast. I can't hear Fred at all. Great. Best

 

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episode ever. And he's not saying words.

 

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That's perfect. Exactly what I expect.

 

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>> Parker: Words is what I'm saying.

 

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>> Parker: Welcome to the show, the 120 eigth

 

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episode of BLC podcast. I should just read the cue

 

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cards. The viral sensation that's sweeping the

 

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rest area bathrooms near you. We are

 

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so glad you joined us, and we can't thank you enough for your support on

 

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X, Facebook, Instagram, and also TikTok, which is

 

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alive. You can always check us

 

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out@blcpodcast.com and listen to us every

 

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single day on your favorite podcast platforms. Uh, please don't

 

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forget to, like, follow and share the show. And

 

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now for the most virus infested

 

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guy I know, it's Fred.

 

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Yeah, Fred.

 

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>> Parker: Bugs crawling all over.

 

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>> Parker: Virus coronavirus. Oh,

 

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no.

 

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Hey, if one of us is going to get it for a third time, it

 

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should be.

 

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>> Parker: Can't deal with this no more. And as always, we like to

 

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introduce our man with the hands,

 

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Alan.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah, that's me. I got the

 

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nice looking crowd. Yeah. Great crowd tonight. Thank you very

 

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much, ladies and gentlemen. Mostly gentlemen. One lady,

 

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probably maybe two. Uh, but thank you guys all

 

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so very much for coming to the show. Coming to the

 

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show. There's not really a crowd, is

 

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there? Because now I'm addressing a crowd. Like,

 

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there is a crowd. Yeah, there is a crowd.

 

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I mean, there might be an

 

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you beautiful audience tonight. Where are you from, ma'am?

 

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Oh, Baltimore. Great. I

 

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just flew in from Baltimore and boy, are my arms tired.

 

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She's from Baltimore. She told you to go fuck yourself

 

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tonight on the show. I'm going to try. You know what I'm going to try, Fred? I'm going to try

 

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something new. I'm going to try and tell people what might

 

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happen later on in the

 

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predictions. I don't think we've ever done that, ever.

 

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>> Parker: Predictions? Okay.

 

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>> Parker: No. No predictions. Just the thing that we wrote down. Oh,

 

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Culver's. Culver's.

 

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>> Parker: Not a. Oh, you're just telling everybody.

 

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>> Parker: What we're talking like, you know, later in the.

 

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Because I've noticed that a lot of podcasts do that

 

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we never, ever do.

 

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>> Parker: They do that.

 

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>> Parker: I'm waiting, of course, till the five minute mark where no one's listening

 

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already to tell you what you can expect

 

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later on in this very episode.

 

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>> Parker: This, um, episode.

 

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>> Parker: So later on in this episode, what, you're doing a

 

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tease? I'm doing a tease. I'm doing a classic radio tease.

 

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>> Parker: Teasing it.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah. Coming, um, up after these messages from

 

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Nabisco, we'll be doing the

 

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Sriracha challenge. Fred might have a story

 

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about animals getting eaten, and

 

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that's really all we got so far.

 

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>> Parker: That's it. Okay.

 

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>> Parker: That's all I have. It's going to

 

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be a great show. Full of

 

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valuable information. Yes. I love all the time

 

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people are like, posting, because I'm on all these groups, on all the

 

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onlines of podcasts and stuff. People are always posting like,

 

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I'd love an educational podcast. Great.

 

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>> Parker: Good.

 

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>> Parker: Educational podcast. And I'm like, I want to post it, everyone. And be like,

 

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well, this isn't it, but please listen.

 

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I'm like, I don't know how that would go over here.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah.

 

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>> Parker: I'm like, well, you are a captive audience, just like Alan.

 

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All the people who were captured at Alan's house that he poured

 

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us into cheer at the beginning. Yeah,

 

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you better clap

 

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if you want your gruel. You must clap.

 

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>> Parker: Yeah.

 

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>> Parker: Or gets the hose again.

 

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>> Parker: It claps its hands or it gets the hose again.

 

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>> Parker: Yes. Well,

 

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speaking of weirdo, creepy

 

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fucking

 

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meat.

 

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Anyway, so let me start off this week

 

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with a hearty black Lincoln collective. Fuck

 

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you. All right. Yeah. To the

 

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coach of, um. Well, of the

 

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not Maldwalkie bucks of the

 

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Malden rec twelve and under bucks. Hey,

 

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buddy. Fuck you, you piece of

 

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shit. No, dude,

 

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okay?

 

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>> Parker: This is on the Internet.

 

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>> Parker: No, I know. The guy already tried to fight

 

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me. Fred, are you serious?

 

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Did he look at you? Let me tell you the story and then

 

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you'll know what happened. So me and my

 

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boys played a, um, rousing game

 

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of twelve and under basketball where we got

 

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beaten to the ground, which. That's okay. That's going to

 

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happen. That doesn't bother me. We lost by, I think, uh,

 

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16 points.

 

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>> Parker: Okay, maybe 17.

 

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>> Parker: No, not our worst loss, but, uh, it's

 

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okay. So the game ends. I

 

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tell my boys, hey, line up. Line up in, uh, the handshake

 

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line, the traditional.

 

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>> Parker: What was the score?

 

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>> Parker: The score was, I want to say, 16

 

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to 926. To nine.

 

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We scored nine points in the first quarter and then decided

 

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not to play the rest of the game. We were down twelve to

 

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nine at the end of the first quarter. And then my guys were like, you know, it would

 

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be fun never doing this again.

 

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I was like, great, great idea. You guys are

 

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the team. And they did it as a team. They did it as a

 

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team. They didn't score again as a team, uh, thankfully.

 

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And I barely got freaked. I barely got

 

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excited at all. Right, so the game ends, my

 

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boys. I said, go do the lineup. We do the handshake.

 

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Win or lose. Tell them, good game. That's part of the game.

 

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That's part of youth sports.

 

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>> Parker: Sportsmanship, right?

 

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>> Parker: Sportsmanship is what it's all about. And so

 

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we're going through the line. I say, hey, good game, bucks. Good

 

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game. Good game. Shake the coach's hand. Good game.

 

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Uh, and I go back to my. I, uh, said, all right, guys,

 

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let's go over here so we can do our post game thing where

 

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I try to make you feel better and where I try not to kill

 

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myself on the side of a basketball court because of our

 

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failures. And I get over there

 

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and, like, five or six of my kids, I have

 

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ten kids on the team. Uh, are like, coach,

 

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why did he tell us? Why did that guy

 

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say that we played like shit and that we sucked? And I'm

 

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like, who said that? Uh, and they're like, the

 

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other coach said that. I said, wait a minute.

 

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The other coach on the other team, as he

 

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shook your hands, told you that you sucked and you played like shit.

 

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And like, six of them, five or six of them were like, yeah, he told us

 

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that. So I was like, all right, hold my

 

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stuff. I'll be right back.

 

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Because there's a lot of things I can hear. You

 

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insult me all day long.

 

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That's not how the game works. That's not what basketball is about,

 

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and that's not what sports are about, especially at the youth

 

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level. And he's not Michael Jordan, right?

 

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Like I told them, uh, after I was like, there's no money on the line.

 

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There are no scholarships. No one cares. We're here

 

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for fun, right? So

 

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I storm across the court,

 

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like, literally from one side of the gym to the other. Oh, I was parent.

 

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I would have loved fired up, dude, you would have loved it. Oh,

 

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you'd have loved it, Alan. I was fired up. And

 

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he's over there talking to his kids. So I get to about probably about,

 

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like, the three point line where he's say he's at the baseline,

 

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so about 20ft, give or take. And I point

 

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at him because I'm badass like

 

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that I'm far away from someone and I'm like,

 

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hey, buddy. I said, hey, coach, I got to talk to

 

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you. Uh, he's like, why? And I said, did you tell my

 

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players that they played like shit and that they suck?

 

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And he was like, no, why? And I said, well, because I just had

 

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six of my players tell me that that's what you said to them.

 

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>> Parker: Uh, yeah.

 

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>> Parker: And he's like, well, I didn't say that. I'm like, well, why would they lie to me? They

 

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have nothing to gain from lying to me. So dude

 

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proceeds to buck up to me, get in my

 

189

00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:45,442

face as close like right here.

 

190

00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:48,274

Uh, and he's almost the same height as he was. A real skinny white

 

191

00:08:48,312 --> 00:08:51,282

guy. All white people look the same. Nondescript features,

 

192

00:08:51,346 --> 00:08:52,134

skinny and white.

 

193

00:08:52,172 --> 00:08:54,920

That's all you need to know. Two white people fighting. Ain't nothing

 

194

00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:58,806

you have to. Wait, hold on. So he gets up in my face. He's like, well,

 

195

00:08:58,828 --> 00:09:01,580

why don't we talk about this outside? And I said, uh,

 

196

00:09:01,804 --> 00:09:04,758

dude, are you fucking kidding me? Do you really think I'm

 

197

00:09:04,774 --> 00:09:07,338

going to fight you over a twelve year old basketball game?

 

198

00:09:07,424 --> 00:09:07,962

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

199

00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:10,598

>> Parker: And he's like, well, we could just go outside and settle this. And I'm

 

200

00:09:10,614 --> 00:09:13,158

like, what the fuck is wrong with you,

 

201

00:09:13,184 --> 00:09:15,598

man? He's like, well,

 

202

00:09:15,684 --> 00:09:18,526

bro, I said, dude, listen. I

 

203

00:09:18,548 --> 00:09:21,374

said, you're a fucking idiot if you think I'm going to go fight you over this.

 

204

00:09:21,492 --> 00:09:24,174

You're also a dickhead for saying that to my

 

205

00:09:24,212 --> 00:09:26,926

kids. And I hope you don't talk to your kids that way because

 

206

00:09:26,948 --> 00:09:27,918

that's fucked up.

 

207

00:09:28,004 --> 00:09:28,974

>> Parker: He probably does.

 

208

00:09:29,092 --> 00:09:31,966

>> Parker: He probably does. He probably beats his kids. And it was white, right?

 

209

00:09:32,068 --> 00:09:34,698

Yeah. He's like, well, I never said that. I would never say that. Blah, blah,

 

210

00:09:34,714 --> 00:09:37,606

blah. And I was like, I said, all right, well, whatever, man. But if

 

211

00:09:37,628 --> 00:09:38,914

you did say it, you're a piece of shit.

 

212

00:09:38,962 --> 00:09:40,600

>> Parker: Did you call the kids over?

 

213

00:09:42,010 --> 00:09:43,702

>> Parker: I didn't talk to his kids. I talked to my kids.

 

214

00:09:43,756 --> 00:09:44,646

>> Parker: That's what I'm saying.

 

215

00:09:44,748 --> 00:09:46,054

>> Parker: I didn't bring them with me.

 

216

00:09:46,172 --> 00:09:47,766

>> Parker: Yeah, I would have been like, come on, guys.

 

217

00:09:47,868 --> 00:09:50,646

>> Parker: No, because then we'd have had it like a street. Because my kids were ready.

 

218

00:09:50,828 --> 00:09:53,706

Yeah, I would have been like, come on, my kids were ready to

 

219

00:09:53,728 --> 00:09:54,282

fight, man.

 

220

00:09:54,336 --> 00:09:56,246

>> Parker: That would have got too deep.

 

221

00:09:56,358 --> 00:09:59,206

>> Parker: And I also have my assistant coach is like a weightlifter. He's

 

222

00:09:59,238 --> 00:10:02,006

fucking, uh, bulky as shit. It wouldn't have been ugly.

 

223

00:10:02,118 --> 00:10:05,046

So I leave. I walk back, and the coaches,

 

224

00:10:05,078 --> 00:10:07,758

on the next game, they're out there practicing. And the

 

225

00:10:07,764 --> 00:10:10,494

coaches, I know the coaches from the next team, and they were like,

 

226

00:10:10,532 --> 00:10:13,486

holy shit. I thought we were about to see a fight. And

 

227

00:10:13,508 --> 00:10:16,398

I was like, you are about to see a fight. Thankfully, I'm a grown ass man and

 

228

00:10:16,404 --> 00:10:19,182

not a fucking idiot. And they were like, whoa.

 

229

00:10:19,246 --> 00:10:21,858

And there's a cop there, too. And he's like, what's going on? And I

 

230

00:10:21,864 --> 00:10:24,686

said, dude, the guy's talking shit about my kids. Can't

 

231

00:10:24,718 --> 00:10:27,202

let it happen. Just watch him. Because if he doesn't want to fight

 

232

00:10:27,256 --> 00:10:30,134

me, I mean, I'm going to do what I got to do. Uh, and

 

233

00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:33,062

the cops all fat and shit. And he's like, you'd be okay.

 

234

00:10:33,196 --> 00:10:35,640

The cops, like, you could run. Yeah. He's like,

 

235

00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:39,640

that's why I'm not afraid to fight, because I'm too lazy to run.

 

236

00:10:40,650 --> 00:10:43,242

You have to decide at some point in your life. You're like, I can either

 

237

00:10:43,296 --> 00:10:45,530

run, or I can just take a beat.

 

238

00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:49,494

Yeah, exactly. And there's going to be no flight unless there's a segue

 

239

00:10:49,542 --> 00:10:52,266

involved or at least a skateboard. Like some

 

240

00:10:52,288 --> 00:10:55,054

skates or something. One of those. What is that thing

 

241

00:10:55,092 --> 00:10:56,040

that, uh, the.

 

242

00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,542

>> Parker: Uh, unicycle bites you but on those large

 

243

00:10:58,596 --> 00:11:00,000

heel, right?

 

244

00:11:00,530 --> 00:11:03,326

>> Parker: Only if I can start at the top, because you're never going to get away from

 

245

00:11:03,348 --> 00:11:06,174

this. Like, centrifugal force will destroy

 

246

00:11:06,222 --> 00:11:06,820

you.

 

247

00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:12,178

So I was like, walking out, and I go back, talk to

 

248

00:11:12,184 --> 00:11:15,106

the kids. I'm like, hey, listen, I know he said that to you.

 

249

00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:18,146

He says he didn't. I said, there's really no other

 

250

00:11:18,168 --> 00:11:20,962

way for me to tell you guys this. Uh, that dude's an asshole.

 

251

00:11:21,106 --> 00:11:24,006

Like, don't tell your parents I said that, but that

 

252

00:11:24,028 --> 00:11:25,030

dude's an asshole.

 

253

00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:26,166

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

254

00:11:26,188 --> 00:11:29,094

>> Parker: I'm like, f him. If we ever play him again,

 

255

00:11:29,132 --> 00:11:32,086

we're going to beat their asses, right? And they're like, yeah,

 

256

00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:35,178

coach. And I'm like, all right, so we leave. Like, we're leaving. On the

 

257

00:11:35,184 --> 00:11:38,154

way out, the guy stops me again. This time we're like, almost

 

258

00:11:38,192 --> 00:11:41,082

out the door. And he's like, hey, man,

 

259

00:11:41,216 --> 00:11:44,042

I really didn't say that. I'm really sorry that your kids

 

260

00:11:44,096 --> 00:11:46,926

lied to you about that. And I was like, dude, I said,

 

261

00:11:46,948 --> 00:11:49,646

there's no way in hell I'm going to believe you over my

 

262

00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:52,366

kids. Yeah, so you can say whatever the fuck you

 

263

00:11:52,388 --> 00:11:54,720

want, but I know you said that. And he's like, no.

 

264

00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:58,446

I was like, let's go man. So we walked out and my

 

265

00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:58,774

wife.

 

266

00:11:58,842 --> 00:12:00,866

>> Parker: He didn't think nobody's going to call him on his bull, right?

 

267

00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,586

>> Parker: Yeah, because why would he? And I was like, no, that's not how this

 

268

00:12:03,608 --> 00:12:06,466

works. I have yelled at every person involved in this

 

269

00:12:06,488 --> 00:12:09,366

basketball league every chance I get, so

 

270

00:12:09,388 --> 00:12:12,294

why would I not yell at this? Like, this is the one that I

 

271

00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,760

actually have a reason to be mad at me,

 

272

00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:20,198

leave, you know, and I'm like, I'm fuming. Get in

 

273

00:12:20,204 --> 00:12:22,760

the with Jack, my kids.

 

274

00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,738

Um, and Jack's like, what are you going to do, dad? Are we going to go,

 

275

00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:28,698

like, beat that guy? I said, dude, I said, listen, I said, here's what

 

276

00:12:28,704 --> 00:12:31,594

we're going to do. We're not going to do a damn thing.

 

277

00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,714

And he's like, what do you mean? I said, jack, this is an integrity issue,

 

278

00:12:34,752 --> 00:12:37,422

this is a sportsmanship issue, and this is just being a decent human

 

279

00:12:37,476 --> 00:12:40,446

being. I said that whatever that guy says does not

 

280

00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:43,454

need to affect the way that we live our lives. I said,

 

281

00:12:43,492 --> 00:12:46,174

he's an asshole. He's going to be an asshole for the rest of his

 

282

00:12:46,212 --> 00:12:48,240

life, but we're better than him.

 

283

00:12:49,090 --> 00:12:51,986

And the way that I know that we're better than him is because we're not going to do what

 

284

00:12:52,008 --> 00:12:53,026

he wants us to do.

 

285

00:12:53,128 --> 00:12:53,634

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

286

00:12:53,752 --> 00:12:56,066

>> Parker: I said, as soon as he threatened to fight me, that's when I

 

287

00:12:56,088 --> 00:12:58,946

realized there's absolutely no reason for me to fight

 

288

00:12:58,968 --> 00:13:01,670

this guy because he's a, ah, fucking idiot who's looking for a fight.

 

289

00:13:01,820 --> 00:13:04,738

You're a better man than. I'm a better man than you, Alan. Exactly. That's

 

290

00:13:04,754 --> 00:13:06,790

what I told, that I'm a better man than Alan.

 

291

00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:10,106

That's all that matters. Uh, hold

 

292

00:13:10,128 --> 00:13:12,460

on. There's one more wrinkle to this story.

 

293

00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:14,538

Let him go.

 

294

00:13:14,704 --> 00:13:17,306

>> Parker: I had him and I follow him to his house.

 

295

00:13:17,408 --> 00:13:20,202

Well, my wife lives two days

 

296

00:13:20,256 --> 00:13:20,730

from now.

 

297

00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,178

>> Parker: Right?

 

298

00:13:21,264 --> 00:13:22,650

>> Parker: Get the tire iron.

 

299

00:13:23,710 --> 00:13:26,606

>> Parker: So my wife is leaving. She left separate because one of the

 

300

00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:29,626

kids, my daughter had to go to the restroom and my daughter rode

 

301

00:13:29,658 --> 00:13:32,538

with her and she happened to be walking out behind this dude

 

302

00:13:32,554 --> 00:13:35,390

and his wife. And she heard him

 

303

00:13:35,460 --> 00:13:38,418

say to his wife, oh, I totally said that to

 

304

00:13:38,424 --> 00:13:41,406

all those kids. Ha, fuck those kids. And like laughing

 

305

00:13:41,438 --> 00:13:44,434

about it. Him and his wife were like, cracking up, walking to their car. So

 

306

00:13:44,472 --> 00:13:47,446

she called me and I'm like, driving home and

 

307

00:13:47,468 --> 00:13:50,454

she's like, listen, don't turn around, don't come

 

308

00:13:50,492 --> 00:13:53,290

back, don't call me. But,

 

309

00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:56,022

uh, that dude totally admitted that he

 

310

00:13:56,156 --> 00:13:57,782

said that to the kids and.

 

311

00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:59,366

>> Parker: He'S a pussy because he couldn't say.

 

312

00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:00,840

>> Parker: It to you exactly

 

313

00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:04,870

right? And I'm like, that's exactly. I knew it. Like, I knew he said it.

 

314

00:14:04,870 --> 00:14:07,546

Uh, he knew I knew he said it, right? But like you

 

315

00:14:07,568 --> 00:14:10,314

said, he is such a small man.

 

316

00:14:10,512 --> 00:14:13,114

Coached from the bucks of the twelve, you malden wrecked basketball

 

317

00:14:13,162 --> 00:14:15,070

team, you little piece of shit.

 

318

00:14:16,530 --> 00:14:19,070

Such a tiny dick and no balls.

 

319

00:14:19,410 --> 00:14:22,238

Uh, when you pull down your pants, it's like a fucking Ken doll,

 

320

00:14:22,324 --> 00:14:24,990

you piece of shit. He's just

 

321

00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:27,762

Ken. Yeah, exactly. Nothing there.

 

322

00:14:27,896 --> 00:14:30,306

Probably no ass either. He probably shits out his

 

323

00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:32,866

mouth. Probably does. I'm just

 

324

00:14:32,888 --> 00:14:35,806

saying. And you know, he doesn't bang his wife.

 

325

00:14:35,838 --> 00:14:38,466

He lets some other dude do it while he watches and rubs his

 

326

00:14:38,488 --> 00:14:41,126

hump because he doesn't have a penis. He just rubs. No, he

 

327

00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,506

don't. And so I'm like, holy

 

328

00:14:43,538 --> 00:14:46,518

shit. Jack's like, dad, we got to go back. I'm like,

 

329

00:14:46,524 --> 00:14:49,320

dude, we cannot go back. This is not how this works.

 

330

00:14:50,410 --> 00:14:52,362

I said, dude, I've always tried to teach you.

 

331

00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:53,450

>> Parker: You got to shame him.

 

332

00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,282

>> Parker: Well, I was like, I've always tried to teach you to be a better

 

333

00:14:56,336 --> 00:14:59,254

man. Integrity

 

334

00:14:59,302 --> 00:15:02,182

is number one thing. We treat people the way we want to be treated.

 

335

00:15:02,246 --> 00:15:05,066

We respect other people, whether they respect us or not. Blah,

 

336

00:15:05,098 --> 00:15:05,866

blah, blah, blah, blah.

 

337

00:15:05,898 --> 00:15:08,494

>> Parker: You need to go to one of his games. A whole, well, a big

 

338

00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:11,274

sign and says, like, this dude

 

339

00:15:11,322 --> 00:15:12,142

cusses at kids.

 

340

00:15:12,196 --> 00:15:15,170

>> Parker: I happened to see him the next night, as a matter of fact.

 

341

00:15:15,170 --> 00:15:18,066

Uh, at our practice. Yeah. And I

 

342

00:15:18,088 --> 00:15:21,058

said, hey there, buddy. And he glanced at me and

 

343

00:15:21,064 --> 00:15:22,420

looked down and ran away.

 

344

00:15:24,230 --> 00:15:26,740

And I was like, all right, fair enough. You're a piece of.

 

345

00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:30,194

Just. It was one of those things, man. I cannot

 

346

00:15:30,242 --> 00:15:33,206

tell you. So I'm telling Jack all this stuff. I'm like, dude, we got to

 

347

00:15:33,228 --> 00:15:35,894

be better than this. We got to be above this

 

348

00:15:35,932 --> 00:15:38,706

shit. And I am fuming.

 

349

00:15:38,818 --> 00:15:41,180

All right. Yeah.

 

350

00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:45,674

Did you have the redneck southern accent? No, I didn't. No,

 

351

00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:48,678

because I wasn't

 

352

00:15:48,694 --> 00:15:50,540

to that level yet, okay. Because

 

353

00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:54,366

I knew that whatever I was going to do, like

 

354

00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:57,358

I said, my kids would see it. Not only my actual

 

355

00:15:57,444 --> 00:15:59,920

kids, but my basketball kids, uh,

 

356

00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,814

and every other parent, every other person

 

357

00:16:02,852 --> 00:16:05,826

that was there would see it, his kids would see it. All

 

358

00:16:05,848 --> 00:16:08,834

that stuff. And thankfully, I've gotten to the point where

 

359

00:16:08,872 --> 00:16:11,682

I'm not who I used to be. Who would have just

 

360

00:16:11,736 --> 00:16:14,530

immediately went and ballistic on that motherfucker.

 

361

00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:17,780

>> Parker: Have you ever heard Parker's, uh.

 

362

00:16:18,070 --> 00:16:19,410

>> Parker: When he gets pissed,

 

363

00:16:22,310 --> 00:16:25,042

it is hilarious. He gets mad

 

364

00:16:25,106 --> 00:16:27,794

because we laugh like Leonard

 

365

00:16:27,842 --> 00:16:29,960

Skinner Southern. Oh, yes.

 

366

00:16:33,390 --> 00:16:35,660

Then he'll turn around and give us a look and we're like,

 

367

00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:39,210

no, seriously, if I'm super, I do.

 

368

00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,254

I'm like, you motherfucker. Come on, man. I get

 

369

00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:45,182

southern and I don't know why.

 

370

00:16:45,236 --> 00:16:48,218

I have no idea why. Doesn't make any sense. Because I'm

 

371

00:16:48,234 --> 00:16:49,470

not southern,

 

372

00:16:52,850 --> 00:16:54,900

dude, I get real mad. Like I said,

 

373

00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:57,858

it just comes out. It comes out, man.

 

374

00:16:58,024 --> 00:17:00,946

And there's no other reason it's ever come

 

375

00:17:00,968 --> 00:17:02,690

out in my life except for when I'm

 

376

00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:06,086

ready to fight. That's the only

 

377

00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,882

time you got to be careful. But we didn't.

 

378

00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:09,720

We just.

 

379

00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:14,994

So again, like I said, a ah, big hardy

 

380

00:17:15,042 --> 00:17:17,640

BlC. Double fuck you

 

381

00:17:18,090 --> 00:17:20,818

to that guy for not knowing that Youth sports

 

382

00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:21,986

is youth sports.

 

383

00:17:22,098 --> 00:17:22,690

>> Parker: Yes, that's right.

 

384

00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:25,578

>> Parker: And I did talk to some other coaches afterwards, I had a

 

385

00:17:25,584 --> 00:17:28,314

number of people tell me that I should reach out to the league and

 

386

00:17:28,352 --> 00:17:29,434

mention this happened.

 

387

00:17:29,552 --> 00:17:29,930

>> Parker: Right?

 

388

00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,954

>> Parker: And I have decided that instead of doing that, I will curse

 

389

00:17:33,002 --> 00:17:35,210

him on this, the Internet, uh,

 

390

00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:38,110

forever. Yeah, I might still do.

 

391

00:17:38,260 --> 00:17:39,162

>> Parker: I wouldn't.

 

392

00:17:39,306 --> 00:17:42,254

>> Parker: I don't want to. What I have decided is I'm going

 

393

00:17:42,292 --> 00:17:45,202

to coach again next year. And

 

394

00:17:45,256 --> 00:17:47,906

my one and only goal for the entire

 

395

00:17:48,008 --> 00:17:50,850

season is to beat that motherfucker.

 

396

00:17:51,590 --> 00:17:53,890

I'm going to go trip his kids in practice.

 

397

00:17:55,430 --> 00:17:58,418

Dude, I don't care about anything else. I'm

 

398

00:17:58,434 --> 00:18:01,334

over it, Fred. That's the thing. I'm over it. Now. I'm ready.

 

399

00:18:01,532 --> 00:18:04,178

All my attention has been, he is my Ivan

 

400

00:18:04,194 --> 00:18:05,110

Drago.

 

401

00:18:05,770 --> 00:18:07,058

>> Parker: You have a montage.

 

402

00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:09,778

>> Parker: I have to destroy him. I'm going to go to coaching

 

403

00:18:09,794 --> 00:18:12,746

clinic. I'm going to sell my house so that

 

404

00:18:12,768 --> 00:18:15,626

I can visit coaching clinics around the country so that next year

 

405

00:18:15,648 --> 00:18:18,620

I can coach twelve u and beat that dude's ass.

 

406

00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:22,160

I'm telling you, man, I am so pissed at him. But, uh,

 

407

00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,906

again, it's over. Now we're,

 

408

00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:26,350

uh, mentally in a better place.

 

409

00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:28,970

>> Parker: The name of the movie is going to be little big league.

 

410

00:18:29,130 --> 00:18:31,710

>> Parker: It's going to be fat fuck movie.

 

411

00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:35,186

Yeah, we're going to call it

 

412

00:18:35,208 --> 00:18:38,018

buckets and baskets. The story of all you can

 

413

00:18:38,024 --> 00:18:40,340

eat seafood and a basketball game.

 

414

00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:44,500

Fat sports. So

 

415

00:18:45,110 --> 00:18:47,700

that's what started my week off. Great.

 

416

00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,820

Uh, just want to let you guys know that. And again,

 

417

00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:54,338

if there's one mistake I've ever made, Fred, it turns out it's

 

418

00:18:54,354 --> 00:18:56,978

just wanting to help my kid learn basketball.

 

419

00:18:57,074 --> 00:18:57,500

>> Parker: There you go.

 

420

00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,486

>> Parker: Uh, because these people, and it's only the white people, and some of the

 

421

00:19:00,508 --> 00:19:03,238

white people, mostly white people, take this shit

 

422

00:19:03,334 --> 00:19:04,998

too seriously.

 

423

00:19:05,174 --> 00:19:07,146

>> Parker: A lot of the parents take this there are no.

 

424

00:19:07,168 --> 00:19:10,026

>> Parker: I get, uh, I had a kid. Okay, well, how about

 

425

00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:13,002

another story, Fred? This is a short one. We had a game,

 

426

00:19:13,056 --> 00:19:15,866

my six and under team, right, that I'm also coaching with my youngest

 

427

00:19:15,898 --> 00:19:18,846

son, who I love dearly. Nate. You heard me. I love you dearly, son.

 

428

00:19:18,868 --> 00:19:21,482

If you hear that, I love dearly. I love him dearly.

 

429

00:19:21,626 --> 00:19:24,446

And God bless him, he was trying his hardest. But, man, we

 

430

00:19:24,468 --> 00:19:27,358

played this other team, and they were ruthless.

 

431

00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:30,210

Like, these kids. They were elbowing my kids in the face.

 

432

00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,022

>> Parker: Oh, shit.

 

433

00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,954

>> Parker: And, like, pushing them down to the ground. And the ref's not calling because

 

434

00:19:33,992 --> 00:19:36,940

they don't call fouls, right? So he's just like, oh, um,

 

435

00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:39,574

you shouldn't do that. I'm like, my kids are coming over here

 

436

00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,386

crying. And my wife,

 

437

00:19:42,418 --> 00:19:44,566

again, is sitting in the stands, and she's like, one of the kids

 

438

00:19:44,668 --> 00:19:47,426

parents was complaining about your coaching

 

439

00:19:47,458 --> 00:19:50,326

style. And I'm like, was complaining about my six and

 

440

00:19:50,348 --> 00:19:53,010

under kids coaching style where my kids are getting beat on.

 

441

00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:56,058

And she was like, yeah, she said she was going to coach next year

 

442

00:19:56,144 --> 00:19:58,762

because she can do a better job than you. And I was like, I

 

443

00:19:58,896 --> 00:20:00,378

would love her to do that.

 

444

00:20:00,384 --> 00:20:02,682

>> Parker: I'd be like, look, she could. As I have, right?

 

445

00:20:02,736 --> 00:20:02,906

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

446

00:20:02,928 --> 00:20:05,822

>> Parker: So I was like, she

 

447

00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:07,520

literally shit to do.

 

448

00:20:08,210 --> 00:20:11,086

>> Parker: And I'm not going to say her name because she's a parent,

 

449

00:20:11,268 --> 00:20:14,078

but she literally, when you walk into the gym,

 

450

00:20:14,174 --> 00:20:17,074

she takes the closest seat to the door because her

 

451

00:20:17,112 --> 00:20:20,090

fat ass will not walk to the other bleachers,

 

452

00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:22,260

uh, every week.

 

453

00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:25,134

Well, she, uh, needs to watch ladybugs.

 

454

00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:25,762

>> Parker: That's the problem.

 

455

00:20:25,816 --> 00:20:28,146

>> Parker: Yeah, I think I need to watch ladybugs.

 

456

00:20:28,258 --> 00:20:28,534

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

457

00:20:28,572 --> 00:20:31,078

>> Parker: That movie was fucking awesome. I could use all the help I can

 

458

00:20:31,084 --> 00:20:31,640

get.

 

459

00:20:33,050 --> 00:20:34,440

>> Parker: That movie was awesome.

 

460

00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:39,174

>> Parker: So, yeah, it's just been a fucking week, man, for these

 

461

00:20:39,212 --> 00:20:42,106

fucking basketball kids. And again, I never thought it would

 

462

00:20:42,128 --> 00:20:44,886

be anything like this. I never thought it would be, like, this fucking

 

463

00:20:44,918 --> 00:20:47,690

cutthroat craziness. Oh, yeah. But

 

464

00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,194

these people don't give a shit, man.

 

465

00:20:49,232 --> 00:20:51,574

>> Parker: They are. It only gets worse.

 

466

00:20:51,702 --> 00:20:53,898

>> Parker: Yes. I'm afraid older.

 

467

00:20:53,914 --> 00:20:56,702

>> Parker: The kids go, like, high school level.

 

468

00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:57,454

>> Parker: Oh, I know.

 

469

00:20:57,572 --> 00:20:58,590

>> Parker: It's insane, man.

 

470

00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:01,518

>> Parker: Uh uh. I'm excited for high school because I am not going to

 

471

00:21:01,524 --> 00:21:04,366

be a high school coach. See, that's the whole thing

 

472

00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,074

for me is I'm like, I don't think I'm going to. I'll do this

 

473

00:21:07,112 --> 00:21:09,922

for this. But my

 

474

00:21:09,976 --> 00:21:12,786

stepdad has been like, you should really pursue coaching as a career. And I'm like,

 

475

00:21:12,808 --> 00:21:15,326

no, dude, no, this is terrible.

 

476

00:21:15,438 --> 00:21:18,414

Yeah, I spend countless hours practicing,

 

477

00:21:18,462 --> 00:21:21,414

like, learning how to do this just for my kids to not do

 

478

00:21:21,452 --> 00:21:24,322

any of the things we practice, then for me to get incredibly

 

479

00:21:24,386 --> 00:21:27,142

frustrated, then get yelled at by my wife because she

 

480

00:21:27,196 --> 00:21:30,066

sees how frustrated I am. And she's like, it doesn't

 

481

00:21:30,098 --> 00:21:32,954

matter. You shouldn't care this much. And I'm like, but I have to care this

 

482

00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:35,802

much, because if I don't care, how can I expect anyone

 

483

00:21:35,856 --> 00:21:38,778

else to care, right? And so I'm

 

484

00:21:38,784 --> 00:21:41,510

like, yeah, this has not been fun for me.

 

485

00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,654

I mean, I love spending time and hanging out with kids

 

486

00:21:44,692 --> 00:21:47,040

and all that stuff. All that part is great.

 

487

00:21:47,730 --> 00:21:50,090

But the games, right? The other shit.

 

488

00:21:50,170 --> 00:21:52,866

>> Parker: Yeah, the games are intense, man. They're way more

 

489

00:21:52,888 --> 00:21:54,530

intense than like, oh, yeah.

 

490

00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,426

>> Parker: Now, if this was a movie, it would be like, ten

 

491

00:21:57,448 --> 00:21:58,882

years later. Parker's out there.

 

492

00:21:58,936 --> 00:21:59,940

>> Parker: Come on, guys.

 

493

00:22:02,710 --> 00:22:04,180

>> Parker: No, he's totally right.

 

494

00:22:06,890 --> 00:22:07,880

>> Parker: For the heart.

 

495

00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:12,360

>> Parker: Totally right. Like, carrying my defibrillator on my back.

 

496

00:22:14,410 --> 00:22:16,360

And that's the worst part, is I'm like,

 

497

00:22:17,290 --> 00:22:20,134

right after it happened, wife's like, are you going to coach next year? And I was like, no, no

 

498

00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:20,806

chance.

 

499

00:22:20,870 --> 00:22:21,190

>> Parker: Uh.

 

500

00:22:21,190 --> 00:22:24,134

>> Parker: And then, like, two minutes later, she's like, are you going to coach next year? And I was like,

 

501

00:22:24,252 --> 00:22:26,040

you goddamn right I am.

 

502

00:22:26,890 --> 00:22:29,346

>> Parker: You know, I am coaching out of spite.

 

503

00:22:29,538 --> 00:22:31,678

>> Parker: I was like, I have to. I have to avenge this.

 

504

00:22:31,764 --> 00:22:32,494

>> Parker: Yes.

 

505

00:22:32,692 --> 00:22:35,518

>> Parker: There's nothing else that will. Now, if he'd have called me fat, I'd have

 

506

00:22:35,524 --> 00:22:37,360

lost 150 pounds this week.

 

507

00:22:39,090 --> 00:22:42,078

So I could go back and be like, who's fat now, bitch? Punch him in

 

508

00:22:42,084 --> 00:22:44,798

the face. Actually, if he had called you fat, you would have been like, yeah, you're.

 

509

00:22:44,814 --> 00:22:46,130

>> Parker: Damn right I'm fat.

 

510

00:22:47,270 --> 00:22:48,660

>> Parker: Look at me. I'm problem.

 

511

00:22:50,290 --> 00:22:52,962

Uh, that song that Draper used to sing all the time.

 

512

00:22:53,096 --> 00:22:54,860

Oh, yeah. Don't, uh. Come on. Uh,

 

513

00:22:56,070 --> 00:22:58,360

my head a humpty damn. That's right.

 

514

00:22:59,770 --> 00:23:02,706

So it's been a hell of a week in youth basketball. That's our youth

 

515

00:23:02,738 --> 00:23:04,390

basketball sports update.

 

516

00:23:08,010 --> 00:23:10,998

I never thought it would be like this, Fred. I thought it was going to

 

517

00:23:11,004 --> 00:23:13,702

be fun, make

 

518

00:23:13,836 --> 00:23:16,826

relationships and have friends for the kids. And no, none of

 

519

00:23:16,848 --> 00:23:17,420

that.

 

520

00:23:18,990 --> 00:23:20,150

>> Parker: I help coach. Uh,

 

521

00:23:22,210 --> 00:23:24,926

I wasn't even actual coach. I called myself the

 

522

00:23:24,948 --> 00:23:27,806

confidence coach because I was like, yeah, man, good job, good

 

523

00:23:27,828 --> 00:23:30,366

job, good job. I just stand on the

 

524

00:23:30,388 --> 00:23:31,310

sidelines

 

525

00:23:33,970 --> 00:23:36,946

because this was flag football. So you could

 

526

00:23:36,968 --> 00:23:39,540

have a coach out on the, uh, right

 

527

00:23:40,150 --> 00:23:43,106

in the game. I never would go out there. I never would go out

 

528

00:23:43,128 --> 00:23:46,082

there. And they was like, I think it was like, second

 

529

00:23:46,136 --> 00:23:48,742

to the last game. And he was like, fred, you want to go out there and take

 

530

00:23:48,796 --> 00:23:51,160

defense? I was like, sure. Okay.

 

531

00:23:55,530 --> 00:23:56,280

All.

 

532

00:24:00,990 --> 00:24:02,790

>> Parker: Thus ends my illustrious career.

 

533

00:24:02,870 --> 00:24:05,866

>> Parker: Yeah, well, we still

 

534

00:24:05,888 --> 00:24:08,650

won the championship, and I got a medal.

 

535

00:24:09,230 --> 00:24:12,154

>> Parker: We're going to win the championship of not winning any

 

536

00:24:12,192 --> 00:24:12,346

game.

 

537

00:24:12,368 --> 00:24:14,214

>> Parker: That was my, uh, participation medal.

 

538

00:24:14,262 --> 00:24:17,246

>> Parker: There you go. Yeah, I have to organize that, too, where I'm having

 

539

00:24:17,268 --> 00:24:20,238

to, like, this is the worst part of coaching is I'm like, what are

 

540

00:24:20,244 --> 00:24:22,926

we going to do? We have to do, like, an end of season banquet or whatever,

 

541

00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:25,906

right? I don't want to do this shit. I hate doing this

 

542

00:24:25,928 --> 00:24:26,500

stuff.

 

543

00:24:27,430 --> 00:24:30,002

>> Parker: Do they give you the money for it? Not yet,

 

544

00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:30,866

no.

 

545

00:24:31,048 --> 00:24:33,746

>> Parker: I'm like, when can parents do it after the last game?

 

546

00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:36,686

Like, within minutes of the last game until. Well, I don't

 

547

00:24:36,718 --> 00:24:37,860

know. And I'm like,

 

548

00:24:39,510 --> 00:24:42,134

I'll just take advantage of it. The game is over. We'll do it right here.

 

549

00:24:42,252 --> 00:24:45,158

Yeah. That's why I was like, meet us at the barbecue place. It's all you can

 

550

00:24:45,164 --> 00:24:48,086

eat up the road. I'll drown my sorrows. The

 

551

00:24:48,108 --> 00:24:50,538

only way I know how. Copious amounts of

 

552

00:24:50,544 --> 00:24:52,938

barbecue the american

 

553

00:24:53,024 --> 00:24:55,946

way. It's just been

 

554

00:24:55,968 --> 00:24:58,618

crazy, dude. Uh, like I said, it's just been a

 

555

00:24:58,624 --> 00:25:01,180

madhouse. It's all right, though. You know what? It's all right.

 

556

00:25:01,450 --> 00:25:04,298

Uh, because all of that, Fred, doesn't

 

557

00:25:04,314 --> 00:25:07,278

piss me off as much as the next thing I want

 

558

00:25:07,284 --> 00:25:09,434

to talk about. And it might be a little controversial.

 

559

00:25:09,482 --> 00:25:11,754

Fred, uh, I've

 

560

00:25:11,802 --> 00:25:13,860

decided I am against

 

561

00:25:14,470 --> 00:25:17,186

abbreviations. Some abbreviations. I'm against the

 

562

00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:19,570

abbreviation for the word crossing.

 

563

00:25:20,390 --> 00:25:23,090

Do you know what the abbreviation for the word crossing is?

 

564

00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:23,442

What?

 

565

00:25:23,496 --> 00:25:26,334

>> Parker: An xing. Uh, xing. Yeah. Xing.

 

566

00:25:26,382 --> 00:25:27,480

>> Parker: The fuck is that?

 

567

00:25:27,850 --> 00:25:29,234

>> Parker: X. It's a cross.

 

568

00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:30,838

>> Parker: It's not a cross, it's an x.

 

569

00:25:30,924 --> 00:25:31,458

>> Parker: Two lines.

 

570

00:25:31,474 --> 00:25:34,150

>> Parker: That crossing, for me, sounds like you're exiting,

 

571

00:25:34,650 --> 00:25:37,430

right? Exiting does not mean crossing.

 

572

00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:42,374

I rode by a road the other day,

 

573

00:25:42,492 --> 00:25:45,150

like, when you're tweeting, right, when you're exiting. Uh,

 

574

00:25:45,850 --> 00:25:48,710

and see, that's fucked up. And it was called

 

575

00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:51,086

Panda Xing Road.

 

576

00:25:51,268 --> 00:25:54,186

Panda. And I was like, what the fuck is panda

 

577

00:25:54,218 --> 00:25:55,200

zing road?

 

578

00:25:56,050 --> 00:25:58,542

>> Parker: And then I was like, well, that could

 

579

00:25:58,596 --> 00:26:01,262

be asian, right?

 

580

00:26:01,316 --> 00:26:04,146

>> Parker: It could be asian. It's not. It was short for

 

581

00:26:04,168 --> 00:26:06,900

panda Crossing road. Oh, come on.

 

582

00:26:07,750 --> 00:26:08,306

>> Parker: Yes.

 

583

00:26:08,408 --> 00:26:11,154

>> Parker: And then it reminded me, uh, of motocross road.

 

584

00:26:11,272 --> 00:26:12,306

>> Parker: Exing road.

 

585

00:26:12,408 --> 00:26:15,122

>> Parker: Yeah, zing. Like, that could be, like, an Asia, like you said.

 

586

00:26:15,176 --> 00:26:16,558

Totally. Could be an asian.

 

587

00:26:16,654 --> 00:26:17,486

>> Parker: Asian last name.

 

588

00:26:17,528 --> 00:26:20,280

>> Parker: Could be an asian gentleman that lives there. No, not.

 

589

00:26:20,650 --> 00:26:22,914

It's abbreviation for crossing, Fred. It's

 

590

00:26:22,962 --> 00:26:25,894

stupid. But do they charge him by the letters now.

 

591

00:26:26,012 --> 00:26:28,230

I don't know. Fucking America.

 

592

00:26:28,730 --> 00:26:31,042

Probably that guy from the. I mean, we're so fucking lazy.

 

593

00:26:31,106 --> 00:26:33,640

>> Parker: We start to have four foot.

 

594

00:26:34,010 --> 00:26:36,934

>> Parker: It used to be named. What if I tell

 

595

00:26:36,972 --> 00:26:39,880

somebody, oh, I live on Panda Crossing Road.

 

596

00:26:39,970 --> 00:26:42,906

Uh, and then they're like, oh, well, I'm going to come by and we'll hang

 

597

00:26:42,938 --> 00:26:43,598

out or whatever.

 

598

00:26:43,684 --> 00:26:46,414

>> Parker: I thought somebody was trying to be cute, right?

 

599

00:26:46,452 --> 00:26:49,242

>> Parker: And that's what pisses me off. It's the same thing with motocross.

 

600

00:26:49,386 --> 00:26:51,806

It's the same thing. There's so many things in where they're like,

 

601

00:26:51,828 --> 00:26:54,820

xing, moto X. Okay, right, Moto X.

 

602

00:26:55,430 --> 00:26:58,334

That's why they call it Moto X, because it's

 

603

00:26:58,382 --> 00:26:59,118

motocross.

 

604

00:26:59,214 --> 00:27:00,980

>> Parker: I thought it was like Moto ten.

 

605

00:27:01,350 --> 00:27:02,100

>> Parker: Exactly.

 

606

00:27:04,890 --> 00:27:07,686

See, what's pissing me off, Fred, now you feel it. You feel my

 

607

00:27:07,708 --> 00:27:10,680

pain, right?

 

608

00:27:12,730 --> 00:27:15,030

Xmas M. It should be Crossmas.

 

609

00:27:16,010 --> 00:27:18,866

Crossmas. Maybe that one's

 

610

00:27:18,898 --> 00:27:21,834

not 100%. It's right there.

 

611

00:27:21,872 --> 00:27:24,762

It's right pretty close.

 

612

00:27:24,816 --> 00:27:27,642

But no, it just pissed me off because I'm like, how could I look this up?

 

613

00:27:27,776 --> 00:27:30,758

Because I can't look up Panda xing road, right? Because, uh, that's

 

614

00:27:30,774 --> 00:27:31,686

not the name of it.

 

615

00:27:31,728 --> 00:27:33,198

>> Parker: And they won't give that to you.

 

616

00:27:33,284 --> 00:27:35,614

>> Parker: No, they're never going to like panda Zing. Oh.

 

617

00:27:35,652 --> 00:27:38,014

China Shenzhen, ul technology go.

 

618

00:27:38,052 --> 00:27:40,666

Ldd. Yeah. That's where you get Panda

 

619

00:27:40,698 --> 00:27:41,760

xing Road.

 

620

00:27:44,770 --> 00:27:47,666

So I was just, oh, man, it's so stupid. It's just such a

 

621

00:27:47,688 --> 00:27:50,590

little minor thing. It's such a stupid inconvenience. Uh,

 

622

00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:53,140

and it might be controversial that I feel this way,

 

623

00:27:53,670 --> 00:27:56,520

but either way, fuck them. What I say.

 

624

00:27:58,970 --> 00:27:59,720

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

625

00:28:02,650 --> 00:28:05,080

>> Parker: That's what made you. You were like, oh,

 

626

00:28:05,690 --> 00:28:06,950

I hated moto nine.

 

627

00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:09,914

>> Parker: You're right. Never played it. I just thought, like,

 

628

00:28:09,952 --> 00:28:12,810

that was the tip game, and I missed the first

 

629

00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:13,306

nine.

 

630

00:28:13,408 --> 00:28:16,214

>> Parker: I've always hated moto eight, nine, moto

 

631

00:28:16,262 --> 00:28:19,114

ten. That's my shit. Like,

 

632

00:28:19,152 --> 00:28:21,274

moto versions one through nine. Shit.

 

633

00:28:21,322 --> 00:28:24,122

>> Parker: So what was Sxx

 

634

00:28:24,266 --> 00:28:26,560

tricky? What was that one?

 

635

00:28:28,770 --> 00:28:29,342

>> Parker: I don't know.

 

636

00:28:29,396 --> 00:28:30,000

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

637

00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,986

>> Parker: Uh, but that wasn't motocross.

 

638

00:28:33,178 --> 00:28:35,650

>> Parker: That was crossing. Like,

 

639

00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,790

super crossing crossing.

 

640

00:28:37,950 --> 00:28:40,526

>> Parker: I don't know. It could be. It could have been cross

 

641

00:28:40,558 --> 00:28:40,990

crossing.

 

642

00:28:41,070 --> 00:28:42,482

>> Parker: SX TRicky or something.

 

643

00:28:42,536 --> 00:28:44,958

>> Parker: Ssx yeah,

 

644

00:28:45,144 --> 00:28:47,874

ssx tricky. Which means, uh, snow,

 

645

00:28:47,922 --> 00:28:50,258

probably. Super Snowboard cross.

 

646

00:28:50,434 --> 00:28:51,510

Ssx.

 

647

00:28:53,370 --> 00:28:54,120

>> Parker: Look.

 

648

00:28:56,250 --> 00:28:57,480

>> Parker: God DAmn it,

 

649

00:28:59,310 --> 00:29:01,514

I lost my hat. I don't know where my hat is now.

 

650

00:29:01,632 --> 00:29:04,358

SsX Fred stands

 

651

00:29:04,454 --> 00:29:07,130

for snowboard Super Cross.

 

652

00:29:09,310 --> 00:29:12,066

God. Uh. Dang it. I'm so mad

 

653

00:29:12,118 --> 00:29:13,722

now. I don't even have a hat.

 

654

00:29:13,786 --> 00:29:16,720

>> Parker: I never knew what it meant. I just knew that game was fire.

 

655

00:29:17,090 --> 00:29:18,400

>> Parker: The game was fire.

 

656

00:29:20,450 --> 00:29:23,438

I loved it. I wanted to snowboard so bad,

 

657

00:29:23,524 --> 00:29:26,320

and then I went and snowboard and Sucked at it so bad.

 

658

00:29:26,850 --> 00:29:29,826

And I was like, I'll just stick to the game. Yes, I got

 

659

00:29:29,848 --> 00:29:32,786

a snowboard for christmas that year because I was like, I'm going to be a

 

660

00:29:32,808 --> 00:29:35,806

snowboarder. Ladies and gentlemen, uh, you're

 

661

00:29:35,838 --> 00:29:38,774

listening to us around the world where we

 

662

00:29:38,812 --> 00:29:41,698

live. It literally never snows.

 

663

00:29:41,794 --> 00:29:44,594

And if it does snow, it's, like, gone in an hour unless

 

664

00:29:44,642 --> 00:29:47,414

someone puts it in their fucking front yard. Like friends going

 

665

00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:49,510

VIral with on fucking Reddit.

 

666

00:29:51,050 --> 00:29:53,926

So I don't know why I was like, hey, what do you want for Christmas?

 

667

00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:56,602

Oh, I'd love a Snowboard. That makes perfect

 

668

00:29:56,656 --> 00:29:59,418

fucking sense. I didn't have a car at the time, but I needed a

 

669

00:29:59,424 --> 00:30:01,066

Snowboard for nothing.

 

670

00:30:01,168 --> 00:30:02,966

>> Parker: You just ride around with it on the hood.

 

671

00:30:02,998 --> 00:30:05,914

>> Parker: I just walked. I just jump spot to spot. Like jump

 

672

00:30:05,962 --> 00:30:08,846

ACross? No, but so, yeah, I went and I

 

673

00:30:08,868 --> 00:30:11,546

did. I was like, I'm going to be the world's greatest, fattest

 

674

00:30:11,578 --> 00:30:14,494

snowboaRder. And what do you know? I was

 

675

00:30:14,532 --> 00:30:17,342

one of the two. I'm not going to tell you which

 

676

00:30:17,396 --> 00:30:20,354

One. That SHit's hard, man. It is

 

677

00:30:20,392 --> 00:30:22,094

hard. Is it still better than skate?

 

678

00:30:22,142 --> 00:30:24,594

>> Parker: It looks so easy. They make it look so that's how they trick you.

 

679

00:30:24,632 --> 00:30:27,334

>> Parker: No, the problem is they don't tell you what you should do. Okay, so,

 

680

00:30:27,372 --> 00:30:30,230

kids at, um, home, if you're thinking about snowboarding,

 

681

00:30:30,570 --> 00:30:31,960

let me tell you this.

 

682

00:30:33,610 --> 00:30:36,520

Put your weight on the back foot.

 

683

00:30:36,890 --> 00:30:39,734

If you don't put your weight on your back foot, you will

 

684

00:30:39,772 --> 00:30:42,346

tumble down the mountain for hours on end, like I

 

685

00:30:42,368 --> 00:30:45,226

did until my last run of the day, when

 

686

00:30:45,248 --> 00:30:47,994

I realized, oh, if I put my weight on my back

 

687

00:30:48,032 --> 00:30:50,394

foot, this is PRetty fucking easy.

 

688

00:30:50,512 --> 00:30:51,180

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

689

00:30:51,870 --> 00:30:54,778

>> Parker: And by the time I figured it out, I was like, I'm going to go again now that I

 

690

00:30:54,784 --> 00:30:56,238

figured it out. And they're like, no, we got to go.

 

691

00:30:56,324 --> 00:30:57,310

>> Parker: Mountains close.

 

692

00:30:57,460 --> 00:30:58,970

>> Parker: And ever since then, I've never went again.

 

693

00:30:58,970 --> 00:30:59,390

>> Parker: Uh uh.

 

694

00:30:59,390 --> 00:31:02,126

>> Parker: It's the worst, man, because you fall all the fucking time. And it's so

 

695

00:31:02,148 --> 00:31:04,830

fucking cold. So cold.

 

696

00:31:05,170 --> 00:31:07,874

>> Parker: Colder than a witch's city. I want to go to

 

697

00:31:07,992 --> 00:31:08,958

a big snow.

 

698

00:31:09,054 --> 00:31:11,858

>> Parker: Let's go playing big snow. Let's go.

 

699

00:31:12,024 --> 00:31:12,402

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

700

00:31:12,456 --> 00:31:13,954

>> Parker: Do our next live show from that.

 

701

00:31:13,992 --> 00:31:16,866

>> Parker: Guy whose yard, like, I was driving down the street, and

 

702

00:31:16,888 --> 00:31:19,862

then, boom, there's a yard full of snow. I'm like,

 

703

00:31:19,916 --> 00:31:20,278

what?

 

704

00:31:20,364 --> 00:31:21,942

>> Parker: Again? It hasn't snow at all.

 

705

00:31:21,996 --> 00:31:24,214

>> Parker: That's not snow at all. Yeah.

 

706

00:31:24,252 --> 00:31:27,158

>> Parker: And it was like, I saw it. It was just like two years. It was

 

707

00:31:27,164 --> 00:31:28,780

like Random House

 

708

00:31:29,390 --> 00:31:30,170

Snow.

 

709

00:31:30,670 --> 00:31:32,438

>> Parker: This shit was in a pile.

 

710

00:31:32,614 --> 00:31:34,380

>> Parker: Yeah, it was like, piled up,

 

711

00:31:36,270 --> 00:31:37,942

but I didn't know if it was powder.

 

712

00:31:38,006 --> 00:31:40,998

>> Parker: Or if it was like, ice. Well, I don't

 

713

00:31:41,014 --> 00:31:43,450

know. I was going to stop and I'm.

 

714

00:31:43,450 --> 00:31:45,040

>> Parker: Going to snowboard this real quick.

 

715

00:31:45,410 --> 00:31:47,310

>> Parker: Touch that Phantom Snow.

 

716

00:31:48,050 --> 00:31:49,680

>> Parker: Let me get a face full then.

 

717

00:31:50,850 --> 00:31:53,458

>> Parker: But it looked like they've been out there playing in it.

 

718

00:31:53,544 --> 00:31:56,194

Sure, why

 

719

00:31:56,232 --> 00:31:56,820

not?

 

720

00:31:57,270 --> 00:31:58,514

I'm going to play in it.

 

721

00:31:58,552 --> 00:32:01,458

>> Parker: God, man, whoever that is. Best parents in the

 

722

00:32:01,464 --> 00:32:02,066

world.

 

723

00:32:02,248 --> 00:32:05,218

>> Parker: Yeah, dude. Uh, I put it

 

724

00:32:05,224 --> 00:32:08,194

on Reddit, and I got some comments back

 

725

00:32:08,232 --> 00:32:10,934

from it, and somebody was like, yeah, that guy

 

726

00:32:10,972 --> 00:32:13,638

lives next to me or lives near my area. He

 

727

00:32:13,644 --> 00:32:16,534

says about twice a year. You know what I'm saying? Two times

 

728

00:32:16,572 --> 00:32:17,240

a year.

 

729

00:32:17,770 --> 00:32:20,646

>> Parker: Why do you own a snow machine to only use it twice a year? I would use that shit every

 

730

00:32:20,668 --> 00:32:21,222

day, man.

 

731

00:32:21,276 --> 00:32:22,466

>> Parker: In the summer.

 

732

00:32:22,658 --> 00:32:23,014

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

733

00:32:23,052 --> 00:32:24,134

>> Parker: Oh, man.

 

734

00:32:24,332 --> 00:32:27,186

>> Parker: In the 98 degree southern weather, Snow

 

735

00:32:27,218 --> 00:32:29,800

will almost make it to the ground. That's right.

 

736

00:32:30,530 --> 00:32:33,438

That's crazy. But no, that cracked me up when you sent me that, so I was

 

737

00:32:33,444 --> 00:32:36,366

like, all right, well, we got to at least talk about a little. Yeah, because when I saw

 

738

00:32:36,388 --> 00:32:38,080

it, I was like, where's know?

 

739

00:32:39,570 --> 00:32:42,478

Then I saw it on Reddit. I saw it on Reddit. And I

 

740

00:32:42,484 --> 00:32:45,250

was, oh, Fred stole it from Reddit.

 

741

00:32:49,510 --> 00:32:52,194

Well, I didn't know. And then I was like,

 

742

00:32:52,232 --> 00:32:54,450

wait, because there's been other things that you've stolen.

 

743

00:32:54,950 --> 00:32:57,926

It's okay. We've all done it. And then you're like, hey, check this out. Which,

 

744

00:32:57,948 --> 00:33:00,918

I mean, you just share it. Yeah, but then I saw it. I was

 

745

00:33:00,924 --> 00:33:03,320

like, wait, that's Fred. That's definitely,

 

746

00:33:04,140 --> 00:33:04,160

uh.

 

747

00:33:08,190 --> 00:33:11,100

I'm confused, too. Exactly.

 

748

00:33:12,270 --> 00:33:15,114

So there you go. We're going viral, kids. Follow

 

749

00:33:15,152 --> 00:33:17,420

us on TikTok and our whatever.

 

750

00:33:18,110 --> 00:33:21,030

Let's make a subreddit do our patreon, too. Why

 

751

00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:21,262

not?

 

752

00:33:21,316 --> 00:33:21,902

>> Parker: There you go.

 

753

00:33:21,956 --> 00:33:24,714

>> Parker: If you want more of this gripping snow

 

754

00:33:24,762 --> 00:33:27,550

and basketball fight content, follow

 

755

00:33:27,620 --> 00:33:30,414

us on our fucking whatever bullshit we do.

 

756

00:33:30,612 --> 00:33:33,566

We'll take a quick break, and we'll be back with

 

757

00:33:33,588 --> 00:33:36,366

more of the BLC podcast. The

 

758

00:33:36,388 --> 00:33:39,038

Black Lincoln collective podcast will return

 

759

00:33:39,124 --> 00:33:41,310

after a word from our sponsors.

 

760

00:34:29,750 --> 00:34:32,526

Welcome back to the 127th

 

761

00:34:32,558 --> 00:34:35,486

episode. I have the Blackland collective podcast. I've

 

762

00:34:35,518 --> 00:34:38,194

called my jets, brought it back a little

 

763

00:34:38,232 --> 00:34:38,578

bit.

 

764

00:34:38,664 --> 00:34:39,146

>> Parker: Breathe.

 

765

00:34:39,198 --> 00:34:42,006

>> Parker: Did some deep breathing. Did some Thai massage on

 

766

00:34:42,028 --> 00:34:42,600

myself.

 

767

00:34:45,610 --> 00:34:48,498

Why not just my fingers are tie. My fingers

 

768

00:34:48,514 --> 00:34:51,434

are lady boys. You know what lady boy is. Yeah.

 

769

00:34:51,472 --> 00:34:54,186

Okay. Anyway, so I'm bringing it

 

770

00:34:54,208 --> 00:34:57,206

back. Fred, I had to open up with some asian flair,

 

771

00:34:57,398 --> 00:35:00,346

because it's time, Fred, for me to pay off what

 

772

00:35:00,368 --> 00:35:03,294

I said I was going to pay off, and I'm doing it in an even better way

 

773

00:35:03,332 --> 00:35:06,254

than I thought I could. It's time for me to

 

774

00:35:06,292 --> 00:35:08,310

do the fucking, uh,

 

775

00:35:08,842 --> 00:35:11,070

challenge. The Huafung

 

776

00:35:11,730 --> 00:35:12,510

versus

 

777

00:35:13,910 --> 00:35:16,690

Underwood ranch versus

 

778

00:35:17,510 --> 00:35:20,338

this random fucking chinese hot sauce that I

 

779

00:35:20,344 --> 00:35:21,940

picked up at the asian market

 

780

00:35:22,550 --> 00:35:25,520

versus hawaiian lava. Uh,

 

781

00:35:26,230 --> 00:35:29,014

looks very painful, which you can see I've already drank, like, half

 

782

00:35:29,052 --> 00:35:32,006

of, versus. Thank you to our

 

783

00:35:32,028 --> 00:35:34,774

listener, uh, Andy, who sent me this mountain man fire

 

784

00:35:34,812 --> 00:35:36,950

roasted habanero hot sauce.

 

785

00:35:37,530 --> 00:35:40,358

So we have got the hot sauce taste

 

786

00:35:40,374 --> 00:35:43,206

test of the century, and I'm

 

787

00:35:43,238 --> 00:35:46,106

going to do it. Where should I start, gentlemen? That's what I need to

 

788

00:35:46,128 --> 00:35:46,700

know.

 

789

00:35:47,790 --> 00:35:49,930

>> Parker: Too much to Scoville levels.

 

790

00:35:50,510 --> 00:35:53,486

>> Parker: Okay, so our hoifung, which

 

791

00:35:53,508 --> 00:35:56,026

this is the new version, hoifung, the shitty

 

792

00:35:56,058 --> 00:35:59,018

one, um, it is not listed as Scoville

 

793

00:35:59,034 --> 00:36:01,726

levels. It's very weak, very light, a little

 

794

00:36:01,748 --> 00:36:04,606

sweet. It's more of a sweet sauce. Um, the

 

795

00:36:04,628 --> 00:36:07,514

new one smells very sweet. I haven't tried it yet. I literally

 

796

00:36:07,562 --> 00:36:10,546

just got it in right before the show, so I have not tried it yet. I had

 

797

00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:13,298

to break the seal right before, during the break just so we could have

 

798

00:36:13,304 --> 00:36:13,618

it.

 

799

00:36:13,704 --> 00:36:14,958

>> Parker: Try that. Yellowstone.

 

800

00:36:15,054 --> 00:36:18,006

>> Parker: The chin sue with

 

801

00:36:18,028 --> 00:36:20,982

the asian lady on it. The extra hot, it's got

 

802

00:36:21,036 --> 00:36:23,574

four. It's Mulan. It says

 

803

00:36:23,772 --> 00:36:26,630

Kai hong. I don't know what that means,

 

804

00:36:26,780 --> 00:36:29,606

but it does say chin sue chili

 

805

00:36:29,638 --> 00:36:31,974

sauce. Spicy taste, elevating

 

806

00:36:32,022 --> 00:36:33,740

deliciousness, extra hot.

 

807

00:36:34,510 --> 00:36:37,418

So got that going for us. So you know what

 

808

00:36:37,424 --> 00:36:40,254

that chai hong means? I don't. It means,

 

809

00:36:40,292 --> 00:36:42,906

hey, coach, uh, from the little league, go fuck

 

810

00:36:42,938 --> 00:36:45,820

yourself. So, uh,

 

811

00:36:45,956 --> 00:36:48,826

this the mountain man again. Thank you, listener, for sending

 

812

00:36:48,858 --> 00:36:51,582

this to me. The mountain man fire

 

813

00:36:51,636 --> 00:36:54,418

roasted habanero sauce is pretty spicy. I've had

 

814

00:36:54,424 --> 00:36:57,380

that. You can see again,

 

815

00:36:58,150 --> 00:37:00,962

I've used way more than half of know you said

 

816

00:37:01,016 --> 00:37:03,986

drunk. Yeah, you know, I might be a little

 

817

00:37:04,008 --> 00:37:06,626

drunk. Uh, again, I'm about to eat a lot of

 

818

00:37:06,648 --> 00:37:09,266

hot sauces, so I might be a little drunk, Fred.

 

819

00:37:09,458 --> 00:37:12,246

And the, uh, local favorite, the

 

820

00:37:12,268 --> 00:37:15,206

bohica pepper hut. Shout out to the bohica pepper putt. Those

 

821

00:37:15,228 --> 00:37:18,034

are the people that gave me the ultra spicy shit

 

822

00:37:18,082 --> 00:37:20,874

that lit my ass on fire when I had no water a few weeks

 

823

00:37:20,912 --> 00:37:23,718

ago. Uh, their hawaiian lava

 

824

00:37:23,734 --> 00:37:26,086

sauce is made right here in South Carolina.

 

825

00:37:26,278 --> 00:37:28,794

So I've got myself. I'm going to start

 

826

00:37:28,832 --> 00:37:31,594

off with the spiciest. Why don't we do

 

827

00:37:31,632 --> 00:37:34,582

that? So let me get my not

 

828

00:37:34,656 --> 00:37:37,034

a sponsor classic lay's chips

 

829

00:37:37,082 --> 00:37:37,680

out.

 

830

00:37:39,970 --> 00:37:42,958

I felt like this would I have to have some sort of. Are you going to do, like, a

 

831

00:37:42,964 --> 00:37:45,530

little bowl on it? Some sort of medium? Um.

 

832

00:37:46,290 --> 00:37:48,190

I don't want to just drink the hot sauce.

 

833

00:37:48,690 --> 00:37:51,022

Okay, well, I mean, I will do.

 

834

00:37:51,076 --> 00:37:51,934

>> Parker: Want to drink the hot.

 

835

00:37:51,972 --> 00:37:54,846

>> Parker: I do want to do it, but I also have to do it. There has to

 

836

00:37:54,868 --> 00:37:57,526

be him. Some kind of decorum. He's going to be like, give me a

 

837

00:37:57,548 --> 00:37:57,926

break.

 

838

00:37:58,028 --> 00:38:00,134

>> Parker: Give me a break. I can't let people see.

 

839

00:38:00,172 --> 00:38:03,126

>> Parker: All right, so let me put it up here so you can see. I am not going to

 

840

00:38:03,148 --> 00:38:05,986

half ass this. I'm going to put a decent amount of hot sauce

 

841

00:38:06,018 --> 00:38:08,998

on it. Can you see how much hot sauce is on? I

 

842

00:38:09,004 --> 00:38:11,782

don't want to tip it. Oh, there it is. Yeah, we can see it. A reasonable

 

843

00:38:11,846 --> 00:38:13,290

amount. Okay, here we go.

 

844

00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:14,890

>> Parker: That's a good glob.

 

845

00:38:16,910 --> 00:38:18,890

>> Parker: That was very fucking spicy.

 

846

00:38:20,270 --> 00:38:21,500

>> Parker: What was it?

 

847

00:38:23,730 --> 00:38:26,554

>> Parker: The bahika pepper hunt. Hawaiian

 

848

00:38:26,602 --> 00:38:29,486

lava. That is

 

849

00:38:29,508 --> 00:38:31,790

delicious, though. I recommend this

 

850

00:38:31,940 --> 00:38:34,474

tasty, reasonably

 

851

00:38:34,522 --> 00:38:37,326

spicy and. Yeah, no, it's

 

852

00:38:37,348 --> 00:38:40,066

fine. I'm barely even sweating. Yeah, I like those. I like the ones that

 

853

00:38:40,088 --> 00:38:40,958

are spicy.

 

854

00:38:40,974 --> 00:38:41,986

>> Parker: But if they have a taste to.

 

855

00:38:42,008 --> 00:38:44,386

>> Parker: It, I like beautiful taste. Very sweet, very like,

 

856

00:38:44,408 --> 00:38:47,346

pineappley, mangoey hawaiian tasting. If there's

 

857

00:38:47,378 --> 00:38:50,194

that shit hawaiian, I don't know. It's lava

 

858

00:38:50,242 --> 00:38:50,818

delicious.

 

859

00:38:50,914 --> 00:38:53,346

>> Parker: I don't like my mouth to go numb delicious.

 

860

00:38:53,378 --> 00:38:56,306

>> Parker: My mouth's, huh? Not numb, Fred. Don't you hear my sexy

 

861

00:38:56,338 --> 00:38:59,100

pipes? My mouth is not numb yet.

 

862

00:38:59,630 --> 00:39:02,602

Next on the taste test

 

863

00:39:02,656 --> 00:39:05,626

of pain that I'll be

 

864

00:39:05,728 --> 00:39:08,666

triggering. This one is legit. Again. Thank you,

 

865

00:39:08,688 --> 00:39:11,126

Andy. For mountain man fire roasted

 

866

00:39:11,158 --> 00:39:13,998

habanero hot sauce. Let's get this one.

 

867

00:39:14,084 --> 00:39:16,846

This one, you should be able to see a little better. This one

 

868

00:39:16,868 --> 00:39:19,370

is. I have put this on a bunch, and it is legit.

 

869

00:39:19,450 --> 00:39:21,070

>> Parker: That'll like barbecue sauce.

 

870

00:39:23,170 --> 00:39:25,818

>> Parker: I spilled it. We got to go. You're oozing.

 

871

00:39:25,994 --> 00:39:28,386

Damn. I had a hot sauce here that I should let you.

 

872

00:39:28,488 --> 00:39:29,982

>> Parker: That looks like barbecue sauce.

 

873

00:39:30,046 --> 00:39:32,900

>> Parker: It does look like barbecue sauce, but it tastes like liquid ass.

 

874

00:39:33,670 --> 00:39:36,450

Delicious liquid ass. Uh,

 

875

00:39:36,890 --> 00:39:38,726

okay, if you say so.

 

876

00:39:38,828 --> 00:39:40,434

>> Parker: I don't know. That's oxymoron.

 

877

00:39:40,482 --> 00:39:41,240

>> Parker: You'll find

 

878

00:39:44,730 --> 00:39:46,230

this is what I dropped.

 

879

00:39:46,430 --> 00:39:48,460

>> Parker: Uh, poop my own hand.

 

880

00:39:51,630 --> 00:39:53,500

>> Parker: The doodoo is a whole God

 

881

00:39:54,510 --> 00:39:56,840

by itself. Not on the chip. Uh,

 

882

00:39:56,886 --> 00:39:59,786

significantly spicier than. Yeah, now I

 

883

00:39:59,808 --> 00:40:02,394

feel like I should go back and try the other one by itself. All right, hold

 

884

00:40:02,432 --> 00:40:04,266

on. Damn it.

 

885

00:40:04,368 --> 00:40:05,774

>> Parker: You licked it off your finger, right?

 

886

00:40:05,812 --> 00:40:07,326

>> Parker: I did. I licked it off my finger, so.

 

887

00:40:07,348 --> 00:40:09,470

>> Parker: Maybe it tastes better on human meat.

 

888

00:40:09,890 --> 00:40:12,734

>> Parker: That one's got some heat. All right, let's get a little

 

889

00:40:12,932 --> 00:40:15,794

dribble on my finger. Watch

 

890

00:40:15,832 --> 00:40:18,446

the show on YouTube, kids. To watch me hurt

 

891

00:40:18,478 --> 00:40:20,658

myself for you. For all of you.

 

892

00:40:20,744 --> 00:40:23,634

>> Parker: Yeah. All right. You just wanted to eat on the show,

 

893

00:40:23,672 --> 00:40:24,580

that's all.

 

894

00:40:24,890 --> 00:40:26,520

>> Parker: It's been coming to this for a hundred.

 

895

00:40:28,810 --> 00:40:31,778

This is my excuse. Now, next week, I'm

 

896

00:40:31,794 --> 00:40:34,326

going to taste test five different types of

 

897

00:40:34,348 --> 00:40:36,950

wagyu steaks, each one

 

898

00:40:37,020 --> 00:40:39,946

costing at least $100 a pound. And I

 

899

00:40:39,968 --> 00:40:42,634

can write it off, Fred, because it's on the show. That's right.

 

900

00:40:42,672 --> 00:40:43,594

>> Parker: It's for work.

 

901

00:40:43,712 --> 00:40:46,410

>> Parker: It's for work. Yeah, it's for work. So,

 

902

00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:48,570

first two. Very, very delicious.

 

903

00:40:49,230 --> 00:40:51,966

Relatively not that spicy. A little spicy, but not

 

904

00:40:52,068 --> 00:40:52,766

crazy.

 

905

00:40:52,948 --> 00:40:55,870

Now, this is when we get into the more serious.

 

906

00:40:56,210 --> 00:40:58,110

This is our chinsu,

 

907

00:40:59,720 --> 00:41:02,240

uh, random asian grocery store. Fine.

 

908

00:41:02,950 --> 00:41:04,286

>> Parker: Mustard bottle.

 

909

00:41:04,478 --> 00:41:07,394

>> Parker: Yes, it

 

910

00:41:07,432 --> 00:41:09,054

is delicious.

 

911

00:41:09,102 --> 00:41:12,046

>> Parker: Red mustard, courtesy of asian bottle

 

912

00:41:12,078 --> 00:41:12,370

man.

 

913

00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:14,146

>> Parker: Yeah, it's not coming out.

 

914

00:41:14,168 --> 00:41:14,740

>> Parker: Whatever.

 

915

00:41:15,050 --> 00:41:17,910

>> Parker: Fridges. This shit is so spicy

 

916

00:41:18,250 --> 00:41:21,058

that it has been in my fridge for a week, and it's

 

917

00:41:21,074 --> 00:41:21,910

not cold.

 

918

00:41:24,410 --> 00:41:27,398

That's all you need to know. If it

 

919

00:41:27,404 --> 00:41:29,106

can do that, if it can withstand this.

 

920

00:41:29,228 --> 00:41:30,020

>> Parker: Who is it made by?

 

921

00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:32,774

>> Parker: Uh, this is made by Shenzhen Ul

 

922

00:41:32,822 --> 00:41:35,706

Technology Co. Ltd. No, this

 

923

00:41:35,728 --> 00:41:38,470

is a product of Masan Industrial.

 

924

00:41:38,550 --> 00:41:40,490

Damn it. I don't like that. It's industrial.

 

925

00:41:41,490 --> 00:41:44,234

Masan Industrial. One member

 

926

00:41:44,282 --> 00:41:46,846

company Limited. Would you like the

 

927

00:41:46,868 --> 00:41:47,390

address?

 

928

00:41:47,540 --> 00:41:50,126

>> Parker: It's the byproduct of that shitty concrete they

 

929

00:41:50,148 --> 00:41:50,720

make.

 

930

00:41:51,330 --> 00:41:54,158

>> Parker: Let me give you the address, Fred, because it's equally as good as Shenzhen

 

931

00:41:54,174 --> 00:41:56,898

ul technology gold. Lot six,

 

932

00:41:57,064 --> 00:41:59,774

tandong Heap Industrial

 

933

00:41:59,822 --> 00:42:02,060

park. Tandong hip, uh,

 

934

00:42:02,060 --> 00:42:04,260

Ward Dan City,

 

935

00:42:04,710 --> 00:42:07,698

Buenuan Province, 7500, Vietnam.

 

936

00:42:07,794 --> 00:42:10,594

So right down the road from our friends, Shenzhen ul

 

937

00:42:10,642 --> 00:42:13,522

Technology go, Ltd. This is a vietnamese

 

938

00:42:13,586 --> 00:42:16,274

hot sauce. And remember, Fred, the spicy taste

 

939

00:42:16,322 --> 00:42:18,806

elevating deliciousness is m what it's all

 

940

00:42:18,828 --> 00:42:19,400

about.

 

941

00:42:23,210 --> 00:42:26,118

Okay. This is absolutely delicious. Yeah, uh, it

 

942

00:42:26,124 --> 00:42:28,710

is sweet. It's barely spicy.

 

943

00:42:29,050 --> 00:42:31,626

Very sweet. I could seriously drink

 

944

00:42:31,658 --> 00:42:34,446

this. It's like if you

 

945

00:42:34,468 --> 00:42:36,510

imagine, I'll give you a dollar

 

946

00:42:37,410 --> 00:42:40,046

how much I've drink the whole thing. Not the whole

 

947

00:42:40,068 --> 00:42:40,446

thing.

 

948

00:42:40,548 --> 00:42:43,426

>> Parker: Just do like this and squirt it in your mouth so I can see

 

949

00:42:43,448 --> 00:42:44,446

the stream.

 

950

00:42:44,638 --> 00:42:47,426

>> Parker: The stream. I don't want to put the stream on

 

951

00:42:47,608 --> 00:42:49,010

squirt stream.

 

952

00:42:50,950 --> 00:42:53,650

I don't feel like that's helping me to want to do this.

 

953

00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,642

All right, I will.

 

954

00:42:56,696 --> 00:42:58,890

A medium to small size squirt stream.

 

955

00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:00,230

>> Parker: Yeah, just a little bit.

 

956

00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:01,190

>> Parker: Little dab.

 

957

00:43:02,650 --> 00:43:03,990

>> Parker: Mustard bottle.

 

958

00:43:08,270 --> 00:43:10,300

>> Parker: Coming out. Hold on.

 

959

00:43:14,330 --> 00:43:15,580

Uh, there it is.

 

960

00:43:18,990 --> 00:43:21,946

It's so delicious. Ah, it's

 

961

00:43:21,978 --> 00:43:24,960

so hot, but it's so delicious. Okay.

 

962

00:43:25,970 --> 00:43:28,254

All right, those are all the

 

963

00:43:28,292 --> 00:43:29,150

contenders.

 

964

00:43:29,810 --> 00:43:30,734

>> Parker: That was number three, right?

 

965

00:43:30,772 --> 00:43:33,646

>> Parker: That was number three of five. And this

 

966

00:43:33,668 --> 00:43:34,970

is great radio, Fred.

 

967

00:43:34,970 --> 00:43:35,390

>> Parker: Mhm.

 

968

00:43:35,390 --> 00:43:37,938

>> Parker: If there's one thing that this is, it's amazing

 

969

00:43:38,024 --> 00:43:38,462

radio.

 

970

00:43:38,526 --> 00:43:41,006

>> Parker: That's why I said red mustard, uh, bottle.

 

971

00:43:41,038 --> 00:43:43,202

>> Parker: Yeah. Thank you for describing that.

 

972

00:43:43,336 --> 00:43:45,874

Now we'll go to our traditional, or our old new

 

973

00:43:45,912 --> 00:43:48,394

style rooster. Hoi fung,

 

974

00:43:48,542 --> 00:43:51,154

hoi hung sriracha hot chili

 

975

00:43:51,202 --> 00:43:53,894

sauce. Is that the new one? This is the new

 

976

00:43:53,932 --> 00:43:56,806

one. The new version, which is very depressing. And

 

977

00:43:56,828 --> 00:43:59,546

I'm putting a lot on because it's fucking gross, I

 

978

00:43:59,568 --> 00:44:02,486

think. All right, there it is. Lots

 

979

00:44:02,518 --> 00:44:05,370

of it. You can see I'm going to flip the chip upside down

 

980

00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,770

so the sauce goes directly on my tongue.

 

981

00:44:12,530 --> 00:44:14,750

Tastes fine. Tastes like green peppers.

 

982

00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:17,630

>> Parker: He needs to do a, uh, food podcast.

 

983

00:44:19,650 --> 00:44:22,046

>> Parker: You would not want that. That would be

 

984

00:44:22,068 --> 00:44:24,926

awesome. No one would want that. All right, that one's

 

985

00:44:24,958 --> 00:44:27,522

fine. Tastes fine. Nothing great,

 

986

00:44:27,656 --> 00:44:30,558

nothing bad. Fucking whatever. Who cares?

 

987

00:44:30,654 --> 00:44:33,380

Now for the one with a dragon on it.

 

988

00:44:33,990 --> 00:44:36,610

The Underwood farms Underwood ranch

 

989

00:44:37,430 --> 00:44:40,406

hots. Uh, new, and this is the first time I've ever tried this.

 

990

00:44:40,508 --> 00:44:43,030

So this is a black Lincoln collective exclusive

 

991

00:44:44,090 --> 00:44:45,590

food review, sort of.

 

992

00:44:45,660 --> 00:44:47,558

>> Parker: So those are the ones that we made the other one.

 

993

00:44:47,644 --> 00:44:50,362

>> Parker: This is the one that made the, uh. Yeah, that made the other. Which again,

 

994

00:44:50,416 --> 00:44:53,066

that's fine. That's nothing. It's fine. M not great. The old

 

995

00:44:53,088 --> 00:44:55,878

one, not spicy. Little sweet,

 

996

00:44:55,974 --> 00:44:58,140

very garlicky. Great.

 

997

00:44:58,670 --> 00:45:01,406

This one. Let's see who did it. That

 

998

00:45:01,428 --> 00:45:04,254

one's what fung. This one is from our friends

 

999

00:45:04,292 --> 00:45:06,266

at Underwood Ranch in California.

 

1000

00:45:06,378 --> 00:45:06,846

>> Parker: Okay.

 

1001

00:45:06,948 --> 00:45:09,690

>> Parker: And they sent it to us via mail, um,

 

1002

00:45:10,650 --> 00:45:13,546

today, via fucking

 

1003

00:45:13,578 --> 00:45:16,158

messenger pigeon. I don't goddamn know. Fucking. They mailed it to

 

1004

00:45:16,164 --> 00:45:18,706

me. I paid money for it and they mailed it to me. Go

 

1005

00:45:18,728 --> 00:45:21,586

figure. All right, here we go. Try this. And flip it

 

1006

00:45:21,608 --> 00:45:24,260

upside down. Get a little taste. Lots of sauce on there.

 

1007

00:45:27,850 --> 00:45:30,760

>> Parker: Well, what are you eating them all?

 

1008

00:45:31,530 --> 00:45:32,598

>> Parker: Not bad.

 

1009

00:45:32,764 --> 00:45:32,890

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1010

00:45:32,890 --> 00:45:34,440

>> Parker: Uh, sweeter than.

 

1011

00:45:36,090 --> 00:45:38,690

Sweeter than this guy? A little spicier.

 

1012

00:45:38,850 --> 00:45:41,782

Got a nice burn at the end. Not as garlicky.

 

1013

00:45:41,926 --> 00:45:44,538

All in all, eight out of ten.

 

1014

00:45:44,624 --> 00:45:47,530

>> Parker: First they're sour, seven out of ten, then they're sweet.

 

1015

00:45:47,950 --> 00:45:50,766

>> Parker: Now I'm going to take a quick break so I can go vomit my

 

1016

00:45:50,788 --> 00:45:51,486

nuts off.

 

1017

00:45:51,588 --> 00:45:52,878

>> Parker: What were you eating them on?

 

1018

00:45:52,964 --> 00:45:55,402

>> Parker: I was eating them on the classic

 

1019

00:45:55,546 --> 00:45:58,446

lay's chips. I thought

 

1020

00:45:58,468 --> 00:46:01,450

it was a nice, neutral vehicle

 

1021

00:46:01,530 --> 00:46:02,290

for the sauce.

 

1022

00:46:02,290 --> 00:46:03,890

>> Parker: Uh, I thought they were pringles.

 

1023

00:46:04,790 --> 00:46:05,614

>> Parker: I do like pringles.

 

1024

00:46:05,662 --> 00:46:07,010

>> Parker: Don't shit in that. Damn.

 

1025

00:46:08,630 --> 00:46:09,620

That's right.

 

1026

00:46:10,070 --> 00:46:11,940

>> Parker: You have pringles, you could use the can.

 

1027

00:46:15,670 --> 00:46:18,578

Well, my thinking was, the only kind of

 

1028

00:46:18,584 --> 00:46:20,886

pringles we have right now are sour cream and

 

1029

00:46:20,908 --> 00:46:23,906

onion or cheddar cheese, sour cream

 

1030

00:46:23,938 --> 00:46:26,774

and cheddar or something like that. Neither one of those is going to be good,

 

1031

00:46:26,892 --> 00:46:29,794

right? I just needed a good old fashioned fried

 

1032

00:46:29,842 --> 00:46:30,978

potato with salt.

 

1033

00:46:31,074 --> 00:46:33,240

>> Parker: That's it. Uh, a base.

 

1034

00:46:33,630 --> 00:46:36,442

>> Parker: All in all, guess what? They're all fucking delicious. And, uh, I'm happy

 

1035

00:46:36,496 --> 00:46:39,354

to continue eating all of them for the rest of my life, which is about seven more

 

1036

00:46:39,392 --> 00:46:42,286

minutes. So after eating all that,

 

1037

00:46:42,388 --> 00:46:45,258

I don't know how much time I got left. So I'll

 

1038

00:46:45,274 --> 00:46:47,600

see you at the xing of heaven and hell.

 

1039

00:46:50,370 --> 00:46:53,360

But, Fred, so now that we've done that, which was

 

1040

00:46:54,210 --> 00:46:56,974

great. Great. Probably top three segment

 

1041

00:46:57,022 --> 00:46:57,378

ever.

 

1042

00:46:57,464 --> 00:46:58,178

>> Parker: There you, uh, go.

 

1043

00:46:58,264 --> 00:46:59,506

>> Parker: My mouth is still.

 

1044

00:46:59,608 --> 00:47:02,446

>> Parker: I'm glad you got a little bit on fire. Live your fantasy

 

1045

00:47:02,478 --> 00:47:04,466

of he wanted to.

 

1046

00:47:04,488 --> 00:47:06,120

>> Parker: Eat on the show anyway so bad.

 

1047

00:47:08,010 --> 00:47:10,694

I'd like to dedicate that last segment to our old friend

 

1048

00:47:10,732 --> 00:47:11,990

cybernetic shark.

 

1049

00:47:14,410 --> 00:47:16,790

And if Jeff or him are listening,

 

1050

00:47:17,770 --> 00:47:20,602

all you fucking do is eat on your show. And it's very

 

1051

00:47:20,656 --> 00:47:23,626

annoying. That is why I need

 

1052

00:47:23,648 --> 00:47:26,598

to watch. I don't

 

1053

00:47:26,614 --> 00:47:29,254

mind doing it sometimes, but he doesn't even mute himself. It's gross.

 

1054

00:47:29,302 --> 00:47:29,814

Anyway.

 

1055

00:47:29,952 --> 00:47:32,702

All right, this

 

1056

00:47:32,756 --> 00:47:33,594

part of the movie.

 

1057

00:47:33,642 --> 00:47:35,040

>> Parker: Was the best part.

 

1058

00:47:35,810 --> 00:47:38,190

>> Parker: I like the part where they ate a sandwich.

 

1059

00:47:40,290 --> 00:47:42,110

This is my 7th sandwich today.

 

1060

00:47:42,180 --> 00:47:44,442

>> Parker: Those sandwiches. I want a sandwich.

 

1061

00:47:44,506 --> 00:47:47,346

>> Parker: What do you think they put on them? Uh, what do you think they put

 

1062

00:47:47,368 --> 00:47:48,180

on them?

 

1063

00:47:49,910 --> 00:47:52,898

Describe the ingredients to me. That's why I can't do a food podcast, because

 

1064

00:47:52,904 --> 00:47:55,686

that's what it would be. Tell me about what goes on the

 

1065

00:47:55,708 --> 00:47:58,566

Philly cheesesteak. No,

 

1066

00:47:58,668 --> 00:48:01,446

tell me slower. What do you do with the

 

1067

00:48:01,468 --> 00:48:02,070

bread?

 

1068

00:48:02,490 --> 00:48:04,070

>> Parker: Oh, God damn.

 

1069

00:48:04,490 --> 00:48:06,902

>> Parker: And you put the cheese on. Oh, my God. Keep

 

1070

00:48:06,956 --> 00:48:09,766

talking, keep talking. Tony's from

 

1071

00:48:09,788 --> 00:48:12,694

Tony's cheesesteak. And like, sir, I

 

1072

00:48:12,732 --> 00:48:14,390

work at Jersey Mike's.

 

1073

00:48:15,770 --> 00:48:18,634

And why are you in the back? Why are you behind the counter in the store

 

1074

00:48:18,672 --> 00:48:21,440

right now with your pants down?

 

1075

00:48:22,770 --> 00:48:24,720

It's for the show, goddamn it.

 

1076

00:48:26,370 --> 00:48:28,350

>> Parker: Commercial. You ain't Danny DeVito.

 

1077

00:48:28,350 --> 00:48:31,306

>> Parker: Um. Um. I'm only 3ft

 

1078

00:48:31,338 --> 00:48:34,302

taller and ten pounds heavier. I don't know.

 

1079

00:48:34,356 --> 00:48:37,326

Anyway. Ten pounds? Probably not. I am

 

1080

00:48:37,348 --> 00:48:39,442

3ft taller at least, though I think Danny DeVito is very.

 

1081

00:48:39,496 --> 00:48:41,374

>> Parker: At least. He's a short guy, man. Tiny.

 

1082

00:48:41,422 --> 00:48:44,210

>> Parker: Great guy, great actor. Love to have him on the show. Great friend of the show.

 

1083

00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,966

Yes. Great actor. Why not?

 

1084

00:48:47,068 --> 00:48:49,474

Well, Fred, now that my mouth is thoroughly

 

1085

00:48:49,522 --> 00:48:52,498

numb, which is great. I'm

 

1086

00:48:52,514 --> 00:48:53,174

happy. Happy.

 

1087

00:48:53,212 --> 00:48:55,782

For that, I have some

 

1088

00:48:55,836 --> 00:48:58,758

words, some of the most unusually

 

1089

00:48:58,854 --> 00:49:01,786

long english words that I'm going

 

1090

00:49:01,808 --> 00:49:04,598

to attempt to pronounce

 

1091

00:49:04,774 --> 00:49:07,690

and then allow you to attempt to define.

 

1092

00:49:08,430 --> 00:49:11,402

Okay, get ready. Uh, first

 

1093

00:49:11,456 --> 00:49:14,174

word. Uh, I'm going to spell it for the

 

1094

00:49:14,292 --> 00:49:17,274

kids at home, and then I'm going to try to pronounce

 

1095

00:49:17,322 --> 00:49:17,966

it.

 

1096

00:49:18,148 --> 00:49:23,200

P-U-L-C-H-R-I-T-U-D-I-N-O-U-S.

 

1097

00:49:24,130 --> 00:49:26,350

Poultryus.

 

1098

00:49:26,770 --> 00:49:29,346

Poultryus. Yeah. Poultryundius. Yeah, I

 

1099

00:49:29,368 --> 00:49:32,114

know, right? We all know what

 

1100

00:49:32,152 --> 00:49:33,554

Poultryus can mean.

 

1101

00:49:33,592 --> 00:49:34,498

>> Parker: Spell it again.

 

1102

00:49:34,664 --> 00:49:41,560

>> Parker: P-U-L-C-H-R-I-T-U-D-I-N-O-U-S.

 

1103

00:49:42,010 --> 00:49:46,114

Poltratundrisundius.

 

1104

00:49:46,162 --> 00:49:49,126

Yeah. Would

 

1105

00:49:49,148 --> 00:49:51,706

you like it in a sentence, Fred, so you can guess what it

 

1106

00:49:51,728 --> 00:49:54,666

means? Yeah, because Alan's not going to guess. He already knows what it

 

1107

00:49:54,688 --> 00:49:57,546

is. The braided locks of the

 

1108

00:49:57,568 --> 00:50:00,314

poultry dundeeous fair ones, with their

 

1109

00:50:00,352 --> 00:50:03,278

infinite. The fuck? I can't say the other words in the

 

1110

00:50:03,284 --> 00:50:04,400

sentence. Hold on.

 

1111

00:50:06,210 --> 00:50:09,146

It's non numb. Okay. The braided locks of the Poultry

 

1112

00:50:09,178 --> 00:50:11,706

nundrius fair ones, with their infinity of triple

 

1113

00:50:11,738 --> 00:50:14,738

plates, plights, pl A-I-T-S

 

1114

00:50:14,824 --> 00:50:17,794

are lit to the mercies of the wind. And

 

1115

00:50:17,832 --> 00:50:20,414

that's from the athenium, London,

 

1116

00:50:20,462 --> 00:50:23,250

England, September 24, 1858.

 

1117

00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:26,034

It wouldn't be easy. It would have been easy to just say super

 

1118

00:50:26,072 --> 00:50:27,970

califragilistic expelidocious.

 

1119

00:50:28,790 --> 00:50:31,446

>> Parker: But poultry on the length of

 

1120

00:50:31,468 --> 00:50:31,846

something.

 

1121

00:50:31,948 --> 00:50:34,290

>> Parker: It means, like, physically

 

1122

00:50:34,370 --> 00:50:35,046

beautiful.

 

1123

00:50:35,228 --> 00:50:36,454

>> Parker: Physically beautiful.

 

1124

00:50:36,572 --> 00:50:39,490

>> Parker: If the meaning of this word seems counterintuitive, are they

 

1125

00:50:39,500 --> 00:50:42,394

talking about them platelet people? I have no idea. This is from our friends

 

1126

00:50:42,432 --> 00:50:44,170

in the Webster dictionary.

 

1127

00:50:46,190 --> 00:50:49,114

Name dropping. Uh, if the meaning of this word seems

 

1128

00:50:49,152 --> 00:50:51,894

counterintuitive, it's probably because the word's latin

 

1129

00:50:51,942 --> 00:50:54,414

ancestor, poulter, is

 

1130

00:50:54,452 --> 00:50:57,310

unfamiliar. And poultry, chandrius, sounds

 

1131

00:50:57,380 --> 00:50:59,210

more disgusting than enchanting.

 

1132

00:50:59,370 --> 00:51:02,158

>> Parker: We've been using something about chicken, right?

 

1133

00:51:02,244 --> 00:51:05,106

>> Parker: We've been using poultryude to refer to

 

1134

00:51:05,128 --> 00:51:07,906

beauty since the 15th century. There you

 

1135

00:51:07,928 --> 00:51:10,786

go. Yeah. Poultry. You don't know that. Yeah, come on,

 

1136

00:51:10,808 --> 00:51:12,820

guys. Come on.

 

1137

00:51:15,210 --> 00:51:17,270

That sounds like a chicken with attitude.

 

1138

00:51:20,890 --> 00:51:23,750

Oh, chicken. Real

 

1139

00:51:23,820 --> 00:51:25,030

sassy chicken.

 

1140

00:51:28,330 --> 00:51:29,794

I'm poultronous.

 

1141

00:51:29,842 --> 00:51:31,830

>> Parker: Bitch. Mother clucker.

 

1142

00:51:32,730 --> 00:51:34,300

>> Parker: Mother clucker. Nice.

 

1143

00:51:35,470 --> 00:51:38,378

All right, next word, and I'm going to spell it first for the

 

1144

00:51:38,464 --> 00:51:39,354

kids at home.

 

1145

00:51:39,472 --> 00:51:44,480

C-O-N-S-A-N-G-U-I-N-E-O-U-S.

 

1146

00:51:45,010 --> 00:51:46,670

Constinguous.

 

1147

00:51:53,250 --> 00:51:55,360

Okay, would you like to know?

 

1148

00:51:57,570 --> 00:52:00,498

Let me give this one to you in a sentence. I think the sentence is

 

1149

00:52:00,504 --> 00:52:03,060

going to give this one away. This sentence is.

 

1150

00:52:03,590 --> 00:52:06,454

This dude is a nerd. I would never read this. This

 

1151

00:52:06,492 --> 00:52:09,378

sentence is courtesy of Robert Dixon,

 

1152

00:52:09,474 --> 00:52:11,494

in his book, the degrees of

 

1153

00:52:11,532 --> 00:52:14,198

consinganuity and affinity, described and

 

1154

00:52:14,204 --> 00:52:16,854

delineated from 1674,

 

1155

00:52:17,052 --> 00:52:19,866

rolls off the tongue, that dude needs some

 

1156

00:52:19,888 --> 00:52:22,682

pussy bad. Right? Well, 1674. So he probably got a.

 

1157

00:52:22,736 --> 00:52:23,974

>> Parker: Get out of that cabin.

 

1158

00:52:24,102 --> 00:52:26,614

>> Parker: Yeah, writing with these fancy

 

1159

00:52:26,662 --> 00:52:27,260

words.

 

1160

00:52:29,870 --> 00:52:32,862

It's probably british, so we'll do it in a british accent. And my

 

1161

00:52:32,916 --> 00:52:35,854

daughter, who derives her blood immediately from

 

1162

00:52:35,892 --> 00:52:38,430

me, must needs be more

 

1163

00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:41,326

consinguous or nearer of kin to me than

 

1164

00:52:41,348 --> 00:52:44,014

my sister, who derives no blood at all

 

1165

00:52:44,052 --> 00:52:46,770

from. Huh uh.

 

1166

00:52:49,750 --> 00:52:51,220

>> Parker: A relation of.

 

1167

00:52:52,150 --> 00:52:54,802

>> Parker: I'm going to give that to you. Give him a ding, Alan, if we got one.

 

1168

00:52:54,936 --> 00:52:57,618

Yeah, we got a ding. The definition of consingenuous

 

1169

00:52:57,714 --> 00:52:59,862

is of the same blood or origin,

 

1170

00:52:59,996 --> 00:53:02,710

specifically descended from the same

 

1171

00:53:02,780 --> 00:53:03,858

ancestor.

 

1172

00:53:04,034 --> 00:53:05,570

>> Parker: So his daughter.

 

1173

00:53:05,650 --> 00:53:08,134

>> Parker: Yeah, he was talking like his daughter was. Right?

 

1174

00:53:08,172 --> 00:53:08,386

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1175

00:53:08,428 --> 00:53:10,140

>> Parker: So remember earlier in the show,

 

1176

00:53:11,550 --> 00:53:14,410

Fred? Remember a little earlier in the show when I said, people

 

1177

00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,286

say, I would love to get listened to an educational

 

1178

00:53:17,318 --> 00:53:20,166

podcast. God damn

 

1179

00:53:20,198 --> 00:53:23,150

it. That's what we're doing right now. If you haven't learned anything

 

1180

00:53:23,220 --> 00:53:26,206

from the words poultry trunderious or

 

1181

00:53:26,228 --> 00:53:28,462

cousin Genesis, comes a number.

 

1182

00:53:28,516 --> 00:53:28,874

>> Parker: Dom.

 

1183

00:53:28,922 --> 00:53:31,886

>> Parker: Fuck you. How about that? Yes. How about this

 

1184

00:53:31,908 --> 00:53:34,462

one? This one should be really easy. Dingling.

 

1185

00:53:34,606 --> 00:53:35,650

>> Parker: Potato

 

1186

00:53:36,950 --> 00:53:37,810

bread.

 

1187

00:53:38,150 --> 00:53:44,660

>> Parker: P-S-Y-C-H-O-T-O-M-I-M-E-T-I-C.

 

1188

00:53:45,270 --> 00:53:47,150

Psychotomimetech.

 

1189

00:53:47,310 --> 00:53:50,018

Psychotomimetech. Okay.

 

1190

00:53:50,104 --> 00:53:52,782

Psychotomatic. Psychomatic

 

1191

00:53:52,926 --> 00:53:54,858

psychotherapy.

 

1192

00:53:55,054 --> 00:53:57,978

All right, so this comes from.

 

1193

00:53:58,064 --> 00:54:00,406

This sentence is from one of our favorite

 

1194

00:54:00,438 --> 00:54:02,730

listeners, Joe Hyams.

 

1195

00:54:03,710 --> 00:54:06,358

Joe, right. As published in the New York Herald

 

1196

00:54:06,374 --> 00:54:08,234

Tribune in November of

 

1197

00:54:08,272 --> 00:54:11,206

1959 at, uh, our show's

 

1198

00:54:11,238 --> 00:54:14,138

peak, mind you. And this is probably in

 

1199

00:54:14,144 --> 00:54:17,066

America. Should I do. Like to try to do a New York accent? I'm going to try. Let's

 

1200

00:54:17,098 --> 00:54:19,310

see what happens. Get ready, kids.

 

1201

00:54:19,380 --> 00:54:19,950

>> Parker: 30.

 

1202

00:54:20,100 --> 00:54:22,398

>> Parker: Here goes the education. Yeah, but that's more of a

 

1203

00:54:22,404 --> 00:54:25,086

Chicago I got to be like. Whoa.

 

1204

00:54:25,278 --> 00:54:28,062

The manner by which LSD 25 produces

 

1205

00:54:28,126 --> 00:54:30,894

its mental changes is obscure. The letters

 

1206

00:54:30,942 --> 00:54:33,854

LSD stand for lysogic acid

 

1207

00:54:33,902 --> 00:54:36,134

dehydramide. Why not

 

1208

00:54:36,332 --> 00:54:39,126

25th? The 25 identifies as the

 

1209

00:54:39,148 --> 00:54:42,054

25th compound of the series. The drug itself

 

1210

00:54:42,172 --> 00:54:43,974

is loosely classified as

 

1211

00:54:44,092 --> 00:54:45,622

hallucinogenic or

 

1212

00:54:45,676 --> 00:54:47,590

psychomamotemonemic.

 

1213

00:54:48,910 --> 00:54:50,650

Oh, I'm Joe Hines.

 

1214

00:54:53,870 --> 00:54:55,242

So what was the word again?

 

1215

00:54:55,296 --> 00:54:57,658

>> Parker: The word was, I'm trying to science over here.

 

1216

00:54:57,744 --> 00:54:59,930

>> Parker: Psychotominaminic.

 

1217

00:55:00,590 --> 00:55:03,530

Psychotomimetic.

 

1218

00:55:04,270 --> 00:55:06,822

Psychotomimetic. What's a mental drug?

 

1219

00:55:06,886 --> 00:55:09,806

Psychomalic. It means. Oh.

 

1220

00:55:09,908 --> 00:55:12,906

Of, uh, relating to, involving or inducing psychotic

 

1221

00:55:12,938 --> 00:55:15,760

alteration of behavior and personality. Over here.

 

1222

00:55:16,230 --> 00:55:18,722

That's a lot of words, this

 

1223

00:55:18,776 --> 00:55:21,314

word. From words psychotic and

 

1224

00:55:21,352 --> 00:55:23,870

memetic, meaning imitative

 

1225

00:55:24,030 --> 00:55:26,806

imitative? Yeah. Imitative. First appeared in the

 

1226

00:55:26,828 --> 00:55:29,602

1950s as mind altering drugs began

 

1227

00:55:29,666 --> 00:55:32,434

catching on with the public. The words unpleasant

 

1228

00:55:32,482 --> 00:55:35,378

association with psychosis inspired Dr. Humphrey

 

1229

00:55:35,394 --> 00:55:37,706

osmond to coin the

 

1230

00:55:37,728 --> 00:55:39,770

synonymous psychedelic,

 

1231

00:55:40,430 --> 00:55:43,370

and that shifted the emphasis to examining how the agent

 

1232

00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,262

might help enlarge the penis. I mean, the vision

 

1233

00:55:46,406 --> 00:55:47,980

or explore the mind.

 

1234

00:55:49,390 --> 00:55:51,438

There you go. There you go.

 

1235

00:55:51,524 --> 00:55:53,050

>> Parker: Hey, you want a bigger dick?

 

1236

00:55:53,130 --> 00:55:56,106

>> Parker: Take this ass, get on this psycho medic

 

1237

00:55:56,138 --> 00:55:58,986

train. Oh, yeah. Let me put some lsd

 

1238

00:55:59,018 --> 00:56:01,978

on it. Endorsed

 

1239

00:56:01,994 --> 00:56:04,660

by DRP. DRp loves it.

 

1240

00:56:05,110 --> 00:56:07,758

LSD 25. The only LSD

 

1241

00:56:07,934 --> 00:56:09,570

detachable robot penis.

 

1242

00:56:11,110 --> 00:56:14,062

Your penis is pulsating over here. Whoa.

 

1243

00:56:14,206 --> 00:56:15,830

Hey. Sandy.

 

1244

00:56:20,250 --> 00:56:22,390

Too soon. 75 years too late. Too soon.

 

1245

00:56:22,460 --> 00:56:23,938

>> Parker: Yeah, we missed Sandy.

 

1246

00:56:24,114 --> 00:56:26,438

>> Parker: This next word, and this is a good one,

 

1247

00:56:26,604 --> 00:56:27,282

is

 

1248

00:56:27,436 --> 00:56:33,482

T-R-I-C-H-O-T-I-L-L-O-M-A-N-I-A.

 

1249

00:56:33,616 --> 00:56:35,830

So trichotillomania.

 

1250

00:56:35,910 --> 00:56:38,906

Trichotillomania. All

 

1251

00:56:38,928 --> 00:56:41,434

right. Easy enough, right? Yeah. And of

 

1252

00:56:41,472 --> 00:56:43,994

course, no word like

 

1253

00:56:44,032 --> 00:56:46,400

tricholetomania would be complete

 

1254

00:56:46,930 --> 00:56:49,550

without a little bit. Oh, my God. My mouth. Still

 

1255

00:56:49,700 --> 00:56:52,586

a little bit numb. Wouldn't, uh, be

 

1256

00:56:52,628 --> 00:56:55,586

complete without an excerpt from the American Journal of

 

1257

00:56:55,608 --> 00:56:58,514

Insanity, printed in Baltimore, Maryland, in

 

1258

00:56:58,552 --> 00:57:00,180

July of 1894.

 

1259

00:57:01,110 --> 00:57:03,934

And I really can't do a Baltimore

 

1260

00:57:03,982 --> 00:57:04,770

accent.

 

1261

00:57:07,830 --> 00:57:10,486

Let me think. What's the closest to a Baltimore accent? It's the best in

 

1262

00:57:10,508 --> 00:57:13,094

town. It's the best in town. Hey,

 

1263

00:57:13,132 --> 00:57:15,430

hun. Tricholotomania.

 

1264

00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,454

M. This name is proposed by M.

 

1265

00:57:18,492 --> 00:57:21,466

Jalupo for a condition described by him at

 

1266

00:57:21,488 --> 00:57:24,074

the seance of the french society of Dermatology and

 

1267

00:57:24,112 --> 00:57:26,570

Syphiligraphy. Syphiligraphy.

 

1268

00:57:27,710 --> 00:57:30,106

It's a morbid condition consisting of

 

1269

00:57:30,128 --> 00:57:32,826

exacerbations of pregurious sensations in the

 

1270

00:57:32,848 --> 00:57:35,306

hairy parts of the body, accompanied by a

 

1271

00:57:35,328 --> 00:57:37,966

Visania that leads the subject to try and get

 

1272

00:57:37,988 --> 00:57:40,782

relief by pulling out hairs. Hence the name given

 

1273

00:57:40,836 --> 00:57:43,166

above. Hun. Oh, it's

 

1274

00:57:43,198 --> 00:57:46,050

crabs. It's essentially crabs,

 

1275

00:57:46,950 --> 00:57:48,722

so I think I already gave that one away.

 

1276

00:57:48,776 --> 00:57:50,050

>> Parker: Like, wild hair.

 

1277

00:57:51,110 --> 00:57:53,954

>> Parker: Trichotillomania. It's crabs is the

 

1278

00:57:53,992 --> 00:57:56,662

abnormal desire to pull out your own

 

1279

00:57:56,716 --> 00:57:57,430

hair.

 

1280

00:57:59,050 --> 00:58:01,526

Yeah. Not as devastating as you

 

1281

00:58:01,548 --> 00:58:02,120

thought.

 

1282

00:58:03,610 --> 00:58:05,670

>> Parker: This kid's giving me that shit.

 

1283

00:58:06,330 --> 00:58:09,270

>> Parker: Oh, yeah. Well, I get that. Okay,

 

1284

00:58:09,340 --> 00:58:12,326

so we'll do, uh, like one. Let me find

 

1285

00:58:12,348 --> 00:58:15,318

the good mania. Oh, I know this

 

1286

00:58:15,324 --> 00:58:17,114

is an easy one. I can actually say this word.

 

1287

00:58:17,232 --> 00:58:18,282

>> Parker: There you go. Say it.

 

1288

00:58:18,336 --> 00:58:21,278

>> Parker: But I'm not going to say it. I can't. Hold on. Let me find a

 

1289

00:58:21,284 --> 00:58:23,886

different one. Okay, we'll do this. Because I can say this word.

 

1290

00:58:24,068 --> 00:58:25,278

This one is

 

1291

00:58:25,444 --> 00:58:27,230

xenotransplantation.

 

1292

00:58:28,370 --> 00:58:31,358

Xenotrans. Easy word. Well, the one word I

 

1293

00:58:31,364 --> 00:58:32,480

can actually say.

 

1294

00:58:32,870 --> 00:58:34,926

>> Parker: Is this a Dave Chappelle joke?

 

1295

00:58:35,038 --> 00:58:37,698

>> Parker: No, not yet. We're getting there.

 

1296

00:58:37,864 --> 00:58:40,434

Transportation. That was

 

1297

00:58:40,472 --> 00:58:41,170

Alan,

 

1298

00:58:45,450 --> 00:58:48,246

so you never know. Uh, so this one

 

1299

00:58:48,268 --> 00:58:49,800

is coined by the Times,

 

1300

00:58:50,810 --> 00:58:53,254

Shreveport, Louisiana, on October 20,

 

1301

00:58:53,292 --> 00:58:56,214

784, the infant. Oh, wait,

 

1302

00:58:56,252 --> 00:58:59,062

Louisiana. The infant, identified

 

1303

00:58:59,126 --> 00:59:01,754

only as baby fey, was in critical but

 

1304

00:59:01,792 --> 00:59:04,646

stable condition Friday evening, according

 

1305

00:59:04,678 --> 00:59:07,306

to physicians who said they were pleased with the results of the

 

1306

00:59:07,328 --> 00:59:08,586

surgery known as

 

1307

00:59:08,608 --> 00:59:11,326

xenotransplantation. Oh,

 

1308

00:59:11,508 --> 00:59:14,240

I was really Danny Zuko, the whole. Oh.

 

1309

00:59:15,970 --> 00:59:18,862

So, xenotransplantation, any

 

1310

00:59:18,916 --> 00:59:19,790

ideas?

 

1311

00:59:19,940 --> 00:59:20,490

>> Parker: Um.

 

1312

00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:25,330

Uh, I think it's eyeball transplant.

 

1313

00:59:26,230 --> 00:59:27,358

>> Parker: Eyeball?

 

1314

00:59:27,534 --> 00:59:27,970

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1315

00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:31,022

>> Parker: You're close, you're warm. I think it's transplant,

 

1316

00:59:31,086 --> 00:59:32,926

but, uh, Xeno.

 

1317

00:59:32,958 --> 00:59:35,780

>> Parker: Like when somebody dies, you get their eyes.

 

1318

00:59:36,470 --> 00:59:38,420

>> Parker: He has his father's eyes.

 

1319

00:59:42,170 --> 00:59:43,160

>> Parker: In the eyes.

 

1320

00:59:45,130 --> 00:59:47,320

>> Parker: The Latin xeno. I'll give you a little

 

1321

00:59:48,270 --> 00:59:51,126

latin lesson, boys and girls. Don't ever say this podcast

 

1322

00:59:51,158 --> 00:59:53,050

isn't educational, you motherfuckers.

 

1323

00:59:53,870 --> 00:59:55,562

Not the listeners, the other people.

 

1324

00:59:55,616 --> 00:59:56,518

>> Parker: Burglars.

 

1325

00:59:56,694 --> 00:59:59,610

>> Parker: The listeners are great. We love you, kid. Cussers

 

1326

01:00:00,670 --> 01:00:03,402

didn't say that. The Latin xeno comes from the Greek.

 

1327

01:00:03,466 --> 01:00:06,410

Wait, what the fuck? The Latin xeno

 

1328

01:00:06,490 --> 01:00:09,226

comes from the greek word xenos. Why the fuck is Latin

 

1329

01:00:09,258 --> 01:00:11,562

stealing from Greek anyway? Meaning

 

1330

01:00:11,706 --> 01:00:13,570

stranger or guest?

 

1331

01:00:15,110 --> 01:00:17,906

We have a number of words in English which are built on this

 

1332

01:00:17,928 --> 01:00:20,722

route, including zenile, of

 

1333

01:00:20,776 --> 01:00:23,730

relating to or constituting hospitality or relations

 

1334

01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:25,370

between host and guests.

 

1335

01:00:25,550 --> 01:00:26,818

>> Parker: Change our attitude.

 

1336

01:00:26,914 --> 01:00:29,666

>> Parker: So, xenotransplantation, isn't

 

1337

01:00:29,698 --> 01:00:32,070

that the God of the Scientologist

 

1338

01:00:32,410 --> 01:00:33,720

xenu? Yes.

 

1339

01:00:35,050 --> 01:00:37,962

Xenotransplantation is the transplantation of organ

 

1340

01:00:38,016 --> 01:00:40,842

tissue, or cells between two

 

1341

01:00:40,896 --> 01:00:42,960

different species. It's sex.

 

1342

01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,814

>> Parker: Uh, they put some peak skin

 

1343

01:00:45,862 --> 01:00:46,422

on. Bang.

 

1344

01:00:46,486 --> 01:00:48,540

>> Parker: Yeah, right. So let's see.

 

1345

01:00:48,540 --> 01:00:48,840

>> Parker: Uh.

 

1346

01:00:48,900 --> 01:00:49,360

>> Parker: Uh,

 

1347

01:00:52,770 --> 01:00:55,646

xenotransplantation is a recent word dating from the

 

1348

01:00:55,668 --> 01:00:58,142

1960s, but practice, or

 

1349

01:00:58,196 --> 01:01:00,986

attempted practice has been around for hundreds

 

1350

01:01:01,018 --> 01:01:03,802

of years. Cross species transplants

 

1351

01:01:03,946 --> 01:01:06,650

were, and this is in quotes, unsuccessfully

 

1352

01:01:06,730 --> 01:01:08,846

attempted in the 19th or the 17th century.

 

1353

01:01:08,878 --> 01:01:10,946

>> Parker: We tried to put that mucky tail on that one, boy.

 

1354

01:01:11,048 --> 01:01:13,806

>> Parker: It didn't work. In the late

 

1355

01:01:13,838 --> 01:01:16,466

20th century, however, scientists transplanted

 

1356

01:01:16,578 --> 01:01:19,346

primates hearts, kidneys, and livers

 

1357

01:01:19,378 --> 01:01:21,960

into humans, with some success.

 

1358

01:01:22,650 --> 01:01:25,526

Pigs have replaced primates as the primary candidates for

 

1359

01:01:25,548 --> 01:01:28,426

xenotransplantation to humans, but the process

 

1360

01:01:28,528 --> 01:01:31,370

remains experimental and controversial.

 

1361

01:01:31,870 --> 01:01:32,620

Okay,

 

1362

01:01:37,150 --> 01:01:38,300

google it out.

 

1363

01:01:39,550 --> 01:01:42,266

>> Parker: They put some monkey skin on them. They put a pig heart in

 

1364

01:01:42,288 --> 01:01:42,630

them.

 

1365

01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:45,194

>> Parker: Put a pig heart in their butt. Yeah, I guess it's animal

 

1366

01:01:45,242 --> 01:01:46,714

transplants to humans.

 

1367

01:01:46,762 --> 01:01:47,422

>> Parker: All right.

 

1368

01:01:47,556 --> 01:01:49,200

>> Parker: I don't know. Yeah,

 

1369

01:01:50,290 --> 01:01:52,382

one more. And this should be an easy one.

 

1370

01:01:52,436 --> 01:01:52,714

>> Parker: Yeah.

 

1371

01:01:52,772 --> 01:01:55,234

>> Parker: I really feel like you guys are really going to know this

 

1372

01:01:55,272 --> 01:01:58,130

one. Jackasseries.

 

1373

01:01:59,030 --> 01:02:01,220

This is legitimately on the list.

 

1374

01:02:01,830 --> 01:02:03,166

>> Parker: Jackasseries.

 

1375

01:02:03,278 --> 01:02:05,782

>> Parker: Jackasseries. And this comes from our old friend

 

1376

01:02:05,916 --> 01:02:08,754

Humphrey Ward, uh, in Harper's monthly

 

1377

01:02:08,802 --> 01:02:11,366

magazine, published on the 1 July in

 

1378

01:02:11,388 --> 01:02:14,214

1908. Get by it,

 

1379

01:02:14,252 --> 01:02:16,934

sneered lady Nitten. After all, his friends are

 

1380

01:02:16,972 --> 01:02:19,194

in, and they say he's eloquent. His

 

1381

01:02:19,232 --> 01:02:22,122

jackasseries will get him a bishop in time,

 

1382

01:02:22,176 --> 01:02:24,758

you'll see. What fucking bishop

 

1383

01:02:24,854 --> 01:02:27,434

is that?

 

1384

01:02:27,472 --> 01:02:29,100

>> Parker: Dane Cook. Behind you.

 

1385

01:02:30,190 --> 01:02:31,382

Is that Dane cook?

 

1386

01:02:31,446 --> 01:02:34,366

>> Parker: I don't know. Fuck you, Dane cook. Dane Cook. Enemy of the

 

1387

01:02:34,388 --> 01:02:36,942

show. I'll just say it. So,

 

1388

01:02:36,996 --> 01:02:39,502

jackasseries. This is really easy. Any

 

1389

01:02:39,556 --> 01:02:42,058

guesses? Is that being an asshole?

 

1390

01:02:42,154 --> 01:02:43,374

>> Parker: Yeah. Uh, just Tom foolery.

 

1391

01:02:43,422 --> 01:02:45,860

>> Parker: Yep. The actions of a jackass. Exactly.

 

1392

01:02:47,830 --> 01:02:50,290

Jackassery. Jackass.

 

1393

01:02:53,510 --> 01:02:55,970

This is the plural word. Jackass.

 

1394

01:02:58,230 --> 01:03:01,110

There you go. Now you know. Jackassery is off travel together.

 

1395

01:03:01,260 --> 01:03:03,670

Oh. It says for jackasses, off travel

 

1396

01:03:03,740 --> 01:03:06,566

together. And even when one is visible, more are

 

1397

01:03:06,588 --> 01:03:09,382

likely to be about engaged in some sort of jackassery

 

1398

01:03:09,446 --> 01:03:12,140

or other, uh, assholes hang out together. Yeah.

 

1399

01:03:12,990 --> 01:03:15,626

Welcome to the show. If I could describe our show,

 

1400

01:03:15,728 --> 01:03:18,666

that's exactly how I'd describe it, with our

 

1401

01:03:18,688 --> 01:03:21,546

jackasseries. I think that's how people would love

 

1402

01:03:21,568 --> 01:03:24,286

to think of the show so we don't get copyright struck. There we

 

1403

01:03:24,308 --> 01:03:26,622

go. Perfect. We probably already did.

 

1404

01:03:26,756 --> 01:03:29,694

All right, guys, well, there's our show for this evening, I think.

 

1405

01:03:29,732 --> 01:03:32,400

Unless somebody has something else. No,

 

1406

01:03:32,710 --> 01:03:35,362

uh, I don't have anything. Okay. Do you know

 

1407

01:03:35,416 --> 01:03:38,306

what a number equal to one

 

1408

01:03:38,488 --> 01:03:40,900

followed by 45 zeros is called?

 

1409

01:03:41,990 --> 01:03:43,890

>> Parker: Million quintrillion.

 

1410

01:03:44,470 --> 01:03:45,220

>> Parker: Close.

 

1411

01:03:45,590 --> 01:03:48,218

Quatrodusillion.

 

1412

01:03:48,334 --> 01:03:49,560

>> Parker: How is that close?

 

1413

01:03:50,090 --> 01:03:52,998

>> Parker: I don't know. It's closer than I would have got. I would have

 

1414

01:03:53,004 --> 01:03:53,654

said eight.

 

1415

01:03:53,772 --> 01:03:54,594

>> Parker: Quatro.

 

1416

01:03:54,722 --> 01:03:57,430

>> Parker: Quattro. That's four deso,

 

1417

01:03:58,090 --> 01:03:59,920

as in. Whatever that means.

 

1418

01:03:59,920 --> 01:04:00,360

>> Parker: Uh.

 

1419

01:04:02,090 --> 01:04:04,446

>> Parker: Quattrotur. Desiclian.

 

1420

01:04:04,498 --> 01:04:07,440

Desilian. I don't fucking know if you can speak English.

 

1421

01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:10,006

Uh, come on the show and say words for

 

1422

01:04:10,048 --> 01:04:11,870

us, because we cannot.

 

1423

01:04:12,770 --> 01:04:15,646

Next week on the

 

1424

01:04:15,748 --> 01:04:18,526

BLC podcast. First, we'll be starting our

 

1425

01:04:18,548 --> 01:04:21,102

celebration of Black History Month, as we do every

 

1426

01:04:21,156 --> 01:04:21,566

year.

 

1427

01:04:21,668 --> 01:04:22,270

>> Parker: Every year.

 

1428

01:04:22,340 --> 01:04:25,122

>> Parker: And secondly, 40 years. We may or may not

 

1429

01:04:25,176 --> 01:04:27,902

have an unfunny comedian

 

1430

01:04:27,966 --> 01:04:30,402

on. We'll find

 

1431

01:04:30,456 --> 01:04:32,420

out next week.

 

1432

01:04:33,830 --> 01:04:36,710

How can you be a comedian if you don't make people laugh?

 

1433

01:04:39,050 --> 01:04:40,360

>> Parker: Is this the guy?

 

1434

01:04:42,890 --> 01:04:45,858

>> Parker: We may or may not. He could be really funny. We don't

 

1435

01:04:45,874 --> 01:04:48,706

know yet. That's a tease. But if he hears

 

1436

01:04:48,738 --> 01:04:51,618

what you just said, he's not going to no one listens

 

1437

01:04:51,634 --> 01:04:52,710

to this part of the show.

 

1438

01:04:52,780 --> 01:04:54,842

>> Parker: He's going to come on and be like, poke that girl.

 

1439

01:04:54,976 --> 01:04:56,534

>> Parker: Yeah, dude, I'd love that. Honestly.

 

1440

01:04:56,582 --> 01:04:57,866

>> Parker: Kick his ass through the screen.

 

1441

01:04:57,968 --> 01:05:00,886

>> Parker: I would love for that to happen because dad Joe

 

1442

01:05:00,918 --> 01:05:03,914

ass ghost. Had you, that

 

1443

01:05:03,952 --> 01:05:06,906

would have been on the list. Ghost

 

1444

01:05:06,938 --> 01:05:09,678

daddyation, reaching the

 

1445

01:05:09,684 --> 01:05:10,698

skin, the ability.

 

1446

01:05:10,794 --> 01:05:13,674

>> Parker: To reach through electronical devices and choke

 

1447

01:05:13,722 --> 01:05:14,350

the other person.

 

1448

01:05:14,420 --> 01:05:17,266

>> Parker: Want to lawnmower a manify you? Uh, I'm sure glad you

 

1449

01:05:17,288 --> 01:05:20,258

can't do that shit. I know. Well, hey, you know, it might be

 

1450

01:05:20,264 --> 01:05:23,154

the best thing for the show. Uh, but yes, next

 

1451

01:05:23,192 --> 01:05:25,810

week, we'll be back. Stay tuned for later on

 

1452

01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:28,598

in the month when Fred's going to do his Oscar report

 

1453

01:05:28,764 --> 01:05:31,686

and when he tells us a list of the animals that are

 

1454

01:05:31,708 --> 01:05:34,434

most eaten in the world with shocking results.

 

1455

01:05:34,562 --> 01:05:36,840

Yes, I'm making you do it now.

 

1456

01:05:38,490 --> 01:05:41,418

You don't have to do it tonight. You have to do it in the next couple of months. Yeah, you

 

1457

01:05:41,424 --> 01:05:44,198

get next couple of months. It could really be anytime, Fred.

 

1458

01:05:44,374 --> 01:05:46,954

Okay, I just said coming up. I didn't say next

 

1459

01:05:46,992 --> 01:05:47,580

week.

 

1460

01:05:47,950 --> 01:05:48,970

>> Parker: One day.

 

1461

01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:52,094

>> Parker: Coming up in 2083, when we're all

 

1462

01:05:52,132 --> 01:05:55,118

dead. Fred's what animals are

 

1463

01:05:55,124 --> 01:05:56,910

we eating now? And it's all bugs.

 

1464

01:05:57,650 --> 01:05:59,854

Fred's like, I found a link in.

 

1465

01:05:59,892 --> 01:06:02,638

>> Parker: 2024, and I can't find it no

 

1466

01:06:02,724 --> 01:06:03,360

more.

 

1467

01:06:04,230 --> 01:06:06,946

>> Parker: So I think we eat, uh, chicken the most.

 

1468

01:06:07,048 --> 01:06:09,890

I've been looking for seven to five.

 

1469

01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:12,946

I searched my whole life over. I've traveled the

 

1470

01:06:12,968 --> 01:06:15,938

whole wide world. I don't know what the fuck

 

1471

01:06:15,954 --> 01:06:18,440

these people are eating. Fuck it.

 

1472

01:06:20,330 --> 01:06:22,806

All right, guys, thank you so much for

 

1473

01:06:22,828 --> 01:06:25,814

listening. We will see you next week with a brand new

 

1474

01:06:25,852 --> 01:06:28,602

episode, Blacklink collect podcast. Are we doing

 

1475

01:06:28,656 --> 01:06:29,260

the.

 

1476

01:06:30,990 --> 01:06:31,740

Yes.

 

1477

01:06:38,430 --> 01:06:39,306

We can't time it.

 

1478

01:06:39,328 --> 01:06:42,198

It's just like the sports thing. I love it. Thanks for

 

1479

01:06:42,224 --> 01:06:45,134

listening, everybody. We'll be back next week with more

 

1480

01:06:45,172 --> 01:06:48,106

of whatever this is. And I won't wear

 

1481

01:06:48,138 --> 01:06:51,066

a hat. Or will I? You'll

 

1482

01:06:51,098 --> 01:06:54,098

have to tune in to find out. I tried to

 

1483

01:06:54,104 --> 01:06:57,058

wear my hat backwards today. At one point. Realized I

 

1484

01:06:57,064 --> 01:06:58,180

can't pull it, um, off.

 

1485

01:07:02,950 --> 01:07:05,846

We are laughing, and we are

 

1486

01:07:05,868 --> 01:07:08,482

very good friends. Good buddy.

 

1487

01:07:08,546 --> 01:07:09,430

Sharing a special

 

1488

01:07:09,500 --> 01:07:14,310

momentum.

 

1489

01:07:26,030 --> 01:07:28,282

>> Parker: That's it, man. Game over, man.

 

1490

01:07:28,336 --> 01:07:29,580

>> Parker: It's game over.

 

1491

01:07:30,210 --> 01:07:32,846

>> Parker: Just hang. Lose blood. She's going to catch up on the

 

1492

01:07:32,868 --> 01:07:34,430

rebound out of midtown.

 

1493

01:07:39,570 --> 01:07:41,040

Oh, what a day.

 

1494

01:07:45,010 --> 01:07:47,002

>> Parker: Well, that's all, folks.

 

1495

01:07:47,146 --> 01:07:49,640

>> Parker: Asta la vista, baby. Goddamn.

 

1496

01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:50,960

>> Parker: Uh, hit.

 

1497

01:07:53,090 --> 01:07:55,350

Don't, uh, worry. Nobody's listening any away.

 

1498

01:07:55,420 --> 01:07:57,846

>> Parker: As you know, I'm a man of special

 

1499

01:07:57,948 --> 01:07:58,454

needs.

 

1500

01:07:58,572 --> 01:07:59,954

>> Parker: Surely you can't be serious.

 

1501

01:08:00,082 --> 01:08:02,370

>> Parker: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.