Black Lincoln Collective Podcast

Freddy's Dead (To Us) and the Worst Of

Episode Summary

This week, on what can barely be called an episode of The Black Lincoln Collective Podcast, Fred is Dead...to us. He's out fighting screw worms or screwing fighting worms or something. Allan decides to shoot his shot and step in for the absent Freddy Jazzmouth. Parker uses Fred's untimely disappearance to force through a new BLC Hall of Famer, then a special guest comes by to mourn the show's loss. Then, we're sorry, but we're contractually obligated to broadcast a Worst of Episode once a year, and this one is definitely it. It's time for a BLC debate. Don't watch it, and so much more, only on the BLC Podcast. Come back Freddy!

Episode Notes

This week, on what can barely be called an episode of The Black Lincoln Collective Podcast, Fred is Dead...to us. He's out fighting screw worms or screwing fighting worms or something. Allan decides to shoot his shot and step in for the absent Freddy Jazzmouth. Parker uses Fred's untimely disappearance to force through a new BLC Hall of Famer, then a special guest comes by to mourn the show's loss. 

Then, we're sorry, but we're contractually obligated to broadcast a Worst of Episode once a year, and this one is definitely it. It's time for a BLC debate. Don't watch it, and so much more, only on the BLC Podcast. Come back Freddy!

Episode Transcription

1

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Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.

 

2

00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,330

A lie, a lie, a lie.

 

3

00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:22,060

Welcome to the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast.

 

4

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Oh, this is going to be fun. We can stay up late, swapping manly stories in the morning.

 

5

00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:29,450

I'm making fun.

 

6

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With your host, Parker. Featuring the sultry sounds of Fred and also Alan on the board.

 

7

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And now, let's start the damn show.

 

8

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Welcome, welcome, one and all, to the 241st edition of the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast.

 

9

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Alan, it might be the last.

 

10

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Yeah.

 

11

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Fred is dead to me.

 

12

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Yeah, Fred is dead.

 

13

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To me. And to you.

 

14

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Yep.

 

15

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Fred is, we're not even going to do the real thing. I guess we should do the real intro and then I'll talk about it.

 

16

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All right, welcome to the show. Yeah, we're watching it. We're doing it.

 

17

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Thanks for listening and rate.

 

18

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It's just not the same without him, Alan.

 

19

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No, it's not.

 

20

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I miss him.

 

21

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But he's dead to me.

 

22

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He's dead?

 

23

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To me.

 

24

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Alive to everyone else, probably.

 

25

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So we're proudly broadcasting from the EC studios scattered all across the area.

 

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And of course, you can check us out on YouTube, Facebook, Insta, all your favorite podcast platforms.

 

27

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Not Fred.com.

 

28

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No.

 

29

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Which, because, again, that doesn't work.

 

30

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It's dead to me.

 

31

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Yes.

 

32

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And now, it's the new Fred.

 

33

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It's Alan.

 

34

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Very bad.

 

35

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Very bad job.

 

36

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This is going to be a very bad show.

 

37

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So yes, ladies and gentlemen, Fred has expired from this show.

 

38

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At least for now, and at least until later, probably.

 

39

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Yeah.

 

40

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But the show must go on, Alan.

 

41

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So we have obligations.

 

42

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We have to try and get our 250th episode to be on the 250th episode of America.

 

43

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Probably the finale of America.

 

44

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That's right.

 

45

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And maybe the finale of us.

 

46

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No.

 

47

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That's not right.

 

48

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At this rate.

 

49

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Alan, I mean, it's the same thing.

 

50

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We can't get a UFC fight together in America now.

 

51

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How are we going to do a 250th podcast?

 

52

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I don't know.

 

53

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Let's put it this way.

 

54

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You can't watch the NBA finals.

 

55

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I am so mad, and you shouldn't.

 

56

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Oh, and I totally was going to pick the Knicks, and now I can't, because they just fucking suck now.

 

57

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Go, Knicks.

 

58

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Go against the Spurs.

 

59

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They're never going to win.

 

60

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It's fine.

 

61

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We knew that all along.

 

62

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The whole thing's rigged, Alan.

 

63

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Oh, yeah.

 

64

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Yeah.

 

65

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The whole world is rigged against us, specifically against the Black League and Collective Podcast.

 

66

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Oh, yeah.

 

67

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Except for Fred.

 

68

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Fred is living it up, and that's why we're here, and we're mad as hell.

 

69

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That's right.

 

70

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Fuck you, Fred.

 

71

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Yeah.

 

72

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Yeah.

 

73

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Hey.

 

74

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I didn't say that.

 

75

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But Alan's right.

 

76

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Yeah.

 

77

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Screw you, Fred.

 

78

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Yeah.

 

79

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So this may be a hybrid episode, ladies and gentlemen.

 

80

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It might be a little bit of an episode, might be a little bit of a best of, but it'll be

 

81

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a lot of not Fred.

 

82

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Yes.

 

83

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So welcome to him not being here.

 

84

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You know, Alan, I wonder, now that he's dead to me, if he went up and ascended into heaven

 

85

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or if he went to a different place, because I know that he's got a real strong opinion

 

86

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about a certain place, and I don't know if he's been there or not.

 

87

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But since he's not here, Alan, I'm going to do something that we've been trying to do

 

88

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for a long time.

 

89

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You know, when the cat's away, the mice will play, right?

 

90

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And so we're going to do something right now that he would never let us do.

 

91

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He would never, ever let us sort of force in a new member into the PLC.

 

92

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He would not let us do that.

 

93

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He's always there.

 

94

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You know, you can't do that.

 

95

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He was always a dissenting vote.

 

96

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Yes, he was.

 

97

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But he's not here.

 

98

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He's not here.

 

99

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So now it's finally my chance.

 

100

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I've been pushing to get this guy in the PLC Hall of Fame since our first episode, and he

 

101

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would never let me do it.

 

102

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And now I'm going to put him in, and he can't do anything about it unless you vote it down.

 

103

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But you can't, because I already contractually obligated you to vote for it.

 

104

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So Fred, I, or Fred, oh my God, I miss you.

 

105

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No, so Alan, I would like to nominate former Arizona Cardinals kicker and also former Philadelphia

 

106

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Eagles player, Jay Feely into the PLC Hall of Fame.

 

107

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You know what's funny?

 

108

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You know, we talked about this yesterday.

 

109

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We'll decide who it is.

 

110

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I was actually thinking that.

 

111

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Were you?

 

112

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Yeah, I was.

 

113

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I was thinking exactly that guy.

 

114

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Well, I was like, who's, I literally Googled who's the whitest person that there is.

 

115

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And before the Google search results could come up and show me that it's impossible to

 

116

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calculate that, I already immediately thought, it's kind of like when you, you know, like when

 

117

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you flip a coin, yeah, when you flip a coin, because you don't know what you want to do,

 

118

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but as soon as you flip the coin, you know what you want to do, right?

 

119

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You're rooting for one side.

 

120

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You're like, oh, I wish, I hope it's heads, right?

 

121

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So you've already made the decision.

 

122

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You couldn't consciously make the decision.

 

123

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Yeah.

 

124

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It happened.

 

125

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It had to happen in the moment.

 

126

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That's exactly what happened.

 

127

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As I said, let me think of who's, who's someone Fred would never let us put in the J into

 

128

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to the BLC Hall of Fame.

 

129

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And as soon as I hit, white is personal lives for it.

 

130

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As soon as I hit enter.

 

131

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Thank you.

 

132

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Yeah.

 

133

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Yeah.

 

134

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Yeah.

 

135

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I'm putting him in.

 

136

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I'm voting for it.

 

137

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Yeah.

 

138

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Yeah.

 

139

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Hold on.

 

140

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Let me get for the people at home.

 

141

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Let me get some, uh, some stats for you.

 

142

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So you can understand what a great person he was.

 

143

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Jay Feely, Alan played for 13 years in the NFL.

 

144

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He played for the Atlanta.

 

145

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Oh, I was wrong.

 

146

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He played for Atlanta, the giants, Miami, two years with the jets, four years with Arizona.

 

147

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And then he spent his last year in 2014 kicking for the Chicago bears.

 

148

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Yeah.

 

149

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Yeah.

 

150

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A lifetime field goal percentage.

 

151

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Alan, would you like to guess what it is?

 

152

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What about a 92% pretty close?

 

153

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82% pretty close.

 

154

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I mean, you got the two.

 

155

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Yeah, I did get the two, but he's two for two and field goals less than 20 yards.

 

156

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That's pretty impressive.

 

157

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Yes.

 

158

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His all time long, 61 yard field goal, which nowadays isn't long.

 

159

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No.

 

160

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Isn't considered long, but, but okay.

 

161

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Well, here's one for you, Alan.

 

162

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Here's an impressive stat in his entire career.

 

163

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He only missed three extra points.

 

164

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Now that's not hall of fame worthy.

 

165

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It is BLC hall of fame worthy.

 

166

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It's something.

 

167

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He scored 1,451 points total in the NFL.

 

168

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That's pretty good.

 

169

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Yeah.

 

170

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So, all right, we're making it happen.

 

171

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Jay Feeley.

 

172

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Welcome to the PLC hall of fame.

 

173

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Fred will never hear this.

 

174

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It's great.

 

175

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Yes.

 

176

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Cause Fred ain't going to listen to the show.

 

177

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No, cause Fred's no, he's not.

 

178

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He's never going to get it.

 

179

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You know, you know why he's gone though, Alan?

 

180

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Cause I can tell you why he's gone.

 

181

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I figured it out.

 

182

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He says it's a vacation.

 

183

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I say, first of all, we don't get vacations from hilariousness.

 

184

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And secondly, uh, we all know he's actually headed to the Southern border of the United States.

 

185

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Yep.

 

186

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To try and battle the incoming swarm of screw worms that are threatening us.

 

187

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Oh, yes.

 

188

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Right.

 

189

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They're, they're only miles away.

 

190

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Some of them are already miles away.

 

191

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I heard there was one already in Texas right now.

 

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So I know that Fred is there protecting all of us from the screw worm who's probably not coming on the show, apparently.

 

193

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No, the screw worm's not coming on the show.

 

194

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No, the screw worm can't come on the show.

 

195

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He's too busy.

 

196

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He's too busy immigrating to the U.S.

 

197

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See?

 

198

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Now, Alan, you know as well.

 

199

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That's not the right guy.

 

200

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That's not the right guy.

 

201

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What's going on?

 

202

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Hey, did I hear correctly that Fred is dead?

 

203

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He's dead to us.

 

204

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Yeah, he's dead to me.

 

205

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Oh, yeah.

 

206

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You know what?

 

207

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Is he up there?

 

208

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Is he down there with you or up there with the other guy?

 

209

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I've been looking everywhere for him.

 

210

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Yeah?

 

211

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He's nowhere here.

 

212

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I've checked the toilets.

 

213

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I've checked the walkers.

 

214

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I've checked the game room.

 

215

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I appreciate that you started in the toilets.

 

216

00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:37,780

I've checked everywhere.

 

217

00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,380

And Freddy is not here.

 

218

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And I am fucking mad.

 

219

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You should be.

 

220

00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:45,680

Freddy's dead.

 

221

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I thought, when I heard Freddy's dead, I was like, all right.

 

222

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He's coming out here.

 

223

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I was even clapping.

 

224

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50-50 shot.

 

225

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You're clapping them cheeks.

 

226

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Yes.

 

227

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That's what I was doing.

 

228

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I was getting ready.

 

229

00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:02,800

I mean, hey, Freddy.

 

230

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What's going on, man?

 

231

00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:05,420

How are you doing?

 

232

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Finally.

 

233

00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:07,980

Oh, yeah.

 

234

00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,140

All right.

 

235

00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:10,100

There you go.

 

236

00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:16,460

Well, you know, B, I'm sorry that he's not here for you or yet.

 

237

00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:17,100

Maybe he's not.

 

238

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Is it a process?

 

239

00:10:18,220 --> 00:10:19,240

I don't really know how that works.

 

240

00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:20,900

Well, sometimes it's a process.

 

241

00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,280

It depends because, you know, Freddy is a busy man.

 

242

00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,320

So, you know, he's moving around.

 

243

00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:29,140

So, he's probably going through a lot of paperwork.

 

244

00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:30,440

Oh, yeah.

 

245

00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:32,340

That's the worst part of hell, isn't it?

 

246

00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:32,620

Yep.

 

247

00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:32,880

Yep.

 

248

00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:33,500

That's why I checked.

 

249

00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,440

Spoiler alert first.

 

250

00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:36,740

I went to the bathroom because I figured he was doing some paperwork.

 

251

00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:38,020

He's probably just pooping.

 

252

00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:38,340

Yeah.

 

253

00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,740

No, that's what you consider paperwork in the hell.

 

254

00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:41,400

He's just pooping.

 

255

00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,400

Yes, yes, yes.

 

256

00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:43,120

I like that.

 

257

00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:43,580

I like it.

 

258

00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:45,020

I'm going to start calling it that myself.

 

259

00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,900

Whenever I have to go poop in the office and say, I got to get some paperwork done.

 

260

00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:58,460

Yeah, I was hoping that Fred was here because I'm actually, you know, I'm excited.

 

261

00:10:59,000 --> 00:10:59,360

Yeah.

 

262

00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:00,300

Well, you should be.

 

263

00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,620

That's a, he's a dear friend.

 

264

00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:02,600

He's important to you.

 

265

00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:09,160

You know, but I am kind of sad that he's not here on the BLC show.

 

266

00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:10,000

Yeah.

 

267

00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,240

You know, I mean, it's weird.

 

268

00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:15,000

It's, I will admit, it's pretty weird, but we got you here and that's pretty good.

 

269

00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:16,520

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

270

00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:24,080

I got to, you know, it is sad that Freddy's no longer with us.

 

271

00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:25,220

Right.

 

272

00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:25,960

Us, the show.

 

273

00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:27,440

Us, yes, the show.

 

274

00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:34,440

Yeah, we have to clarify that because if Freddy was to die this week, just out of circumstance,

 

275

00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:40,040

I would feel very bad if we did this, you know.

 

276

00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:41,620

Well, no, no, no.

 

277

00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:44,560

You said that Freddy was dead, so I figured he was dead.

 

278

00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:49,360

But now, you're saying that he's dead to you, not that he's dead.

 

279

00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:50,440

Dead to me, yeah, dead to me.

 

280

00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:53,680

A little bit of a play on words for you there, B.

 

281

00:11:54,460 --> 00:12:01,240

I understood he was dead, so I mean, I even, I was sad because I thought he had gone upstairs.

 

282

00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:02,440

Right.

 

283

00:12:04,060 --> 00:12:09,060

And, you know, what it feels when you go upstairs.

 

284

00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,080

Yeah, I thought he was going upstairs.

 

285

00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,160

I thought he was a fascinating seatbelt.

 

286

00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:15,740

If you die, if you die and you're going to the good place.

 

287

00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:16,520

Yes.

 

288

00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:18,660

Then you hear the BLC podcast intro.

 

289

00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:22,900

So, you know, I was, I thought he was coming down here, so I was sad.

 

290

00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:23,580

Yeah.

 

291

00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:27,760

I thought, you know, he was going to be down here with me.

 

292

00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,400

And it turns out that he's not.

 

293

00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:31,220

He's not.

 

294

00:12:33,890 --> 00:12:39,370

Well, if he was down there with you in this emotional moment, this emotionally charged moment,

 

295

00:12:40,110 --> 00:12:46,910

is there anything you would, you know, say to him or, or would you, you know, just feelings?

 

296

00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:47,570

You have feelings?

 

297

00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:48,650

I do.

 

298

00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:50,950

So in general.

 

299

00:12:53,350 --> 00:12:58,250

Oh, a poem.

 

300

00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,030

This sounds, I'm sure this is lovely.

 

301

00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:01,110

Yes.

 

302

00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:02,970

Yes.

 

303

00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:03,610

Hold on.

 

304

00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:04,750

Let me blow my nose.

 

305

00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:06,070

What?

 

306

00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:09,670

Oh, I'm sorry.

 

307

00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:17,660

I found this flow.

 

308

00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:21,100

I sit upon my smoking throne.

 

309

00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,400

With love inside my zone.

 

310

00:13:26,170 --> 00:13:28,650

The maps all flat, the shadows dance.

 

311

00:13:29,270 --> 00:13:39,870

The sparks jump overhead, and all I think both night and day is, oh, I love dear Fred.

 

312

00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:41,110

Oh.

 

313

00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:46,430

Fred walks up there on the earth where soft green grasses grow.

 

314

00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:53,130

His smile as bright as the morning sun, a light I long to know.

 

315

00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:56,710

His laugh can comb a volcano.

 

316

00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,490

His eyes can calm a flame.

 

317

00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:05,410

I whisper through the midnight wind, and softly spit his day.

 

318

00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:09,490

Oh, Fred, I say, come drink with me.

 

319

00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:23,730

I whisper through the midnight wind, and softly spit his day.

 

320

00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:32,370

Oh, Fred, I say, oh, Fred, I say, come dream with me.

 

321

00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:35,450

Come see my palace grand.

 

322

00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:38,530

Say, come dream with me.

 

323

00:14:39,950 --> 00:14:42,330

I think I'm lucky with me.

 

324

00:14:42,910 --> 00:14:43,870

Oh, Fred.

 

325

00:14:43,890 --> 00:14:43,930

I will.

 

326

00:14:45,610 --> 00:14:50,410

One of the dragons do the stars will race the lightning bright.

 

327

00:14:50,410 --> 00:14:54,050

or wear a black, brown, shiny stone

 

328

00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:55,630

and dance all through the night.

 

329

00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,420

I give you Rui's golden gems,

 

330

00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,780

penis, and a cape, too.

 

331

00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,220

More than a treasure, than a fire.

 

332

00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:11,000

I give my heart and penis to Frank.

 

333

00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:18,810

No pitchfork sharp, no scary grin,

 

334

00:15:18,990 --> 00:15:20,770

no thunder in my chest

 

335

00:15:20,770 --> 00:15:24,230

could match the happy song I feel

 

336

00:15:24,230 --> 00:15:26,870

when Frank makes me feel blessed.

 

337

00:15:29,210 --> 00:15:31,450

Together we can rule the clouds,

 

338

00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:33,210

the mountain seas, and sky.

 

339

00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:37,450

I'll trade my throne, my flames, my cry.

 

340

00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:41,350

See Fred walking by.

 

341

00:15:42,430 --> 00:15:47,230

I'm called the Prince of Night,

 

342

00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,870

and a man with heart, sparks true.

 

343

00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:53,540

This world turns soft and bright.

 

344

00:15:53,540 --> 00:16:00,040

Hear me earth, and hear me stars,

 

345

00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,780

and hear the moons of love.

 

346

00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:05,040

The devil has a mighty heart,

 

347

00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:08,560

and Fred has all my love.

 

348

00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,300

That is excellent poetry, devil.

 

349

00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:12,340

Or B.

 

350

00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:15,300

A lot of claps for you for that.

 

351

00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,160

You know,

 

352

00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:18,860

I think if Fred could hear that,

 

353

00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,560

maybe he would fall in love with you.

 

354

00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,120

I hope so.

 

355

00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,020

Or at least let you, you know,

 

356

00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:25,600

touch his butt,

 

357

00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:26,360

or whatever you're into.

 

358

00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:28,800

Oh, I let him touch mine.

 

359

00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:30,040

Well, you know,

 

360

00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:31,480

just touch butts together.

 

361

00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,640

I don't know what you guys do up there.

 

362

00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:36,120

Yeah.

 

363

00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:38,160

Touch the butts together.

 

364

00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,580

What is the music like

 

365

00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,200

in where you live?

 

366

00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:43,600

Oh, the music.

 

367

00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,460

Because, yeah,

 

368

00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:46,140

because I know of a lot of songs

 

369

00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:47,660

about you,

 

370

00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:48,680

and I just wondered if,

 

371

00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:49,440

well, first of all,

 

372

00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:50,240

which one's your favorite?

 

373

00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:51,800

And secondly,

 

374

00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,300

if they just play on a loop,

 

375

00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:54,940

because there's like

 

376

00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:56,360

Sympathy for the Devil, right?

 

377

00:16:57,460 --> 00:16:57,940

Oh, yeah.

 

378

00:16:58,560 --> 00:16:59,100

Sympathy for the Devil.

 

379

00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:00,720

We play Sympathy for the Devil.

 

380

00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:01,460

Yeah.

 

381

00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:03,020

Devil went down to Georgia.

 

382

00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:03,840

Yeah.

 

383

00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:04,300

Run with that one.

 

384

00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,160

For that one.

 

385

00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:06,800

Running with the Devil.

 

386

00:17:07,140 --> 00:17:07,660

Van Halen.

 

387

00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,540

Yeah, Van Halen

 

388

00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:09,360

running with the Devil.

 

389

00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:10,800

Shout of the Devil.

 

390

00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:11,920

Motley Crue.

 

391

00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:13,340

Shout of the Devil.

 

392

00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:13,740

Yeah.

 

393

00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:14,340

Right.

 

394

00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:15,540

The Number of the Beast

 

395

00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:16,480

by Iron Maiden.

 

396

00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:17,120

Oh, yeah, yeah.

 

397

00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:17,820

Six.

 

398

00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:18,840

Six, six.

 

399

00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:19,980

Big number.

 

400

00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,140

Off the Beast.

 

401

00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,180

Hell and fire

 

402

00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:25,600

shall born to be released.

 

403

00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:26,540

Exactly.

 

404

00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,540

And also Devil in Disguise,

 

405

00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:29,700

which is kind of

 

406

00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:32,260

not, maybe not exactly about you.

 

407

00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:33,220

I think it's like about a lady,

 

408

00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:34,300

but Elvis wrote that one.

 

409

00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,220

So, you know,

 

410

00:17:35,260 --> 00:17:36,220

that's got a special place

 

411

00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:36,900

on this show.

 

412

00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:37,980

Oh, yes.

 

413

00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:38,580

Yes, yes.

 

414

00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:39,620

It's Elvis.

 

415

00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:40,980

We party a lot.

 

416

00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:41,380

Oh, yeah.

 

417

00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:41,820

I was going to say,

 

418

00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:42,960

you guys are familiar,

 

419

00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:43,740

I'm sure,

 

420

00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:44,700

at this point.

 

421

00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,700

Well, what's your favorite one?

 

422

00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:49,080

My favorite one?

 

423

00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:49,620

Actually,

 

424

00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,180

it's playing in hell right now.

 

425

00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:51,580

Hold on.

 

426

00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:57,160

Freddie,

 

427

00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,140

I love you.

 

428

00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,320

I belong with you,

 

429

00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:02,760

Fred.

 

430

00:18:03,180 --> 00:18:04,340

Me and you.

 

431

00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,040

Doing the nasty.

 

432

00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,020

Walk-a-walk-a-walk.

 

433

00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,060

Yeah.

 

434

00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:12,920

Walk-a-walk-a-walk.

 

435

00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:13,740

Yeah.

 

436

00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,220

Walk-a-man.

 

437

00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,800

Memories of me and Freddie.

 

438

00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:19,360

That's right.

 

439

00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,080

Holding hands.

 

440

00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,540

Running down Hell's Beach,

 

441

00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:24,100

down the fiery beaches of hell.

 

442

00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,660

All the fireys of water.

 

443

00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:26,860

In the sky.

 

444

00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:28,360

Christmas morning.

 

445

00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:29,180

Yes.

 

446

00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,460

My favorite time of the year.

 

447

00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:31,160

Right.

 

448

00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:31,820

Waking up.

 

449

00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,860

The Christmas tree that's on fire.

 

450

00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:35,400

Waking up.

 

451

00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:37,260

Fred on fire right beside you.

 

452

00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:38,000

That's right.

 

453

00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:39,740

Well, anyway,

 

454

00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:42,800

I guess I'm going to go ahead and

 

455

00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:45,980

sit in the truck back here

 

456

00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:46,880

and be all depressed

 

457

00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,580

since Freddie's not going to come and see me.

 

458

00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:49,580

Well, yeah,

 

459

00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:50,420

he might be there soon.

 

460

00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:51,720

And so I wouldn't,

 

461

00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,040

I wouldn't necessarily return everything,

 

462

00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:54,760

but you know,

 

463

00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,300

maybe get the extended warranties.

 

464

00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,160

All right.

 

465

00:18:58,360 --> 00:18:58,480

Well,

 

466

00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,160

I guess I'll put the baby oil.

 

467

00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:01,460

There you go.

 

468

00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,000

P. Diddy brand baby oil.

 

469

00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:04,220

Yeah,

 

470

00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:05,220

the P. Diddy brand.

 

471

00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,160

Please feel free to.

 

472

00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,320

You better send that.

 

473

00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:08,620

You won't get your money back for that.

 

474

00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:09,100

Yeah,

 

475

00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:10,640

it's a hundred lubricant PF.

 

476

00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:11,540

Wow.

 

477

00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:13,940

Just for the time.

 

478

00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,900

A hundred lubricant PF drink.

 

479

00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:18,240

All right.

 

480

00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:18,500

Well,

 

481

00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:19,620

see you later.

 

482

00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:20,480

We'll let you know.

 

483

00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:20,980

Like I said,

 

484

00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,000

hopefully if Fred,

 

485

00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:23,140

if Fred comes back,

 

486

00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,900

you can come back and visit.

 

487

00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:26,280

Well,

 

488

00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:26,620

Freddie,

 

489

00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:28,840

if you don't come and see me,

 

490

00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,500

you ain't going to get no snap benefits.

 

491

00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:32,200

No,

 

492

00:19:32,820 --> 00:19:33,080

no.

 

493

00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:34,860

Bye bye,

 

494

00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:35,280

everybody.

 

495

00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:35,640

Well,

 

496

00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:36,020

bye bye,

 

497

00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:36,380

Satan,

 

498

00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:36,820

at least.

 

499

00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,640

Merry Christmas from my family to yours.

 

500

00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:44,520

Well,

 

501

00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:45,640

it's just me now.

 

502

00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,180

The B has left the building.

 

503

00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:49,860

So it's just going to be me.

 

504

00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,640

We're going to talk about the one man show.

 

505

00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:56,140

That is not the BLC podcast.

 

506

00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:56,960

Thankfully,

 

507

00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:57,940

Alan has returned.

 

508

00:19:58,300 --> 00:19:59,980

So I don't have to pat him.