This week, and a brand new episode of America's Favorite Podcast, Parker participates in the latest viral craze that's sweeping the nation, and the boys are asking the hard questions while trying to figure out what they'd do. Then, It's finally time for Ask Allan Anything, and we get to meet a dear friend of the shows family, and a Merry Christmas is had from our family to yours. All that, and snakes! Only on the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast.
In episode 235 of the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast, Parker, Fred, and Allan are back with another chaotic, fully unhinged ride through parenting disasters, home improvement regrets, sports disappointment, and deeply questionable life advice. The episode kicks off with the crew welcoming listeners from around the world and pointing them toward YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and all major podcast platforms.
The main story starts with Parker taking on what he calls the “bunk bed challenge”: attempting to assemble a brand-new bunk bed for his kids in the hopes of finally getting a full night’s sleep without being kicked by tiny feet. What was supposed to be a simple one-hour build quickly turns into a multi-hour battle against confusing instructions, nearly identical wooden parts, backwards rails, and one very poorly timed Charlotte Hornets game.
Things only get worse when Parker realizes the beds were built in the living room and still need to be moved, followed immediately by the discovery that the kids’ new bunk beds do not actually have mattresses. That leads to a trip to a discount mattress store tucked away in the back of a questionable warehouse, complete with strange sales tactics, twin mattresses, cash deals, and a mattress salesman who may or may not be living entirely on hot dogs and cheese.
The crew then rolls into a new round of the BLC “What Would You Do?” Challenge, covering everyday moral dilemmas like thermostat wars, group chat snack moochers, giant decorative yard roosters, and accidentally getting credit for someone else’s work spreadsheet. Naturally, most of the advice lands somewhere between “break up with them” and “make the situation much worse.”
After the break, the guys return with some NFL Draft “analysis” before launching into Ask Allan Anything, a segment where listener questions get the kind of answers only Allan could give. Relationship confusion, outdoor furniture, vintage radios, and other listener problems are all handled with the usual BLC blend of confidence, nonsense, and absolutely no professional credentials.
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Fancy new seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night suit
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A life, a life, it's a life
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Welcome to the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast
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Oh, it's gonna be fun! We can see it late, swap the mail in the store in the morning
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I'm making fun of you!
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With your most, Parker
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Featuring the sultry sounds of Fred and also Ellie on the board
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Let's go already!
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And now let's start the show
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Welcome, welcome, one and all!
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The 235th edition of the Black Lincoln Collective Podcast!
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Alright, you know it, we are, well I know, thank you to all of our new listeners all over the world
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And please rate and review the show in any language
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We are proudly broadcasting live from the Polagely Seasudios
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Scattered all across us
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Oh thank you, that scattered all across us too Fred
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You can of course check us out at YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, all your favorite podcast platforms
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Very soon podcast.com
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And also that thing we are gonna do
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And now, he's Fred
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What else do you want?
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I'm Mochow, happy to be here!
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Listen to the Oy Baluto podcast!
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I am Freddy
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I am the co-host and I just got fingered
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I did
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Get to live with you like those others
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And the man
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With the beard
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Oh that's more of a go-t
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Yeah, I got the go-t
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Go-t with the go-t
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Go-t with the go-t
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Well, welcome to the show!
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Okay, thank you audience
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And random laser gun cheer
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Welcome to the show ladies and gentlemen
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We're so glad you're here
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I hope everything is going great for everybody
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I have to confess to you something Fred, right off the get
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You're not gonna like it, you're gonna love it
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So Fred, there's a new viral challenge going around
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And I participate in it, not willingly mind you
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But due to lack of common sense
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So Fred, I took over the past weekend
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I took what I'm gently calling
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The bunk bed challenge
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Whoa, hold on a second
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Yeah, the bunk bed challenge Fred
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Is sleeping in a bunk bed?
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Well Fred, almost
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So I told you guys previously that I purchased a brand new, lovely set
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A bunk bed for my children to sleep in
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Or pretend to sleep in and then eventually make their way into my bed and kick me in the nuts
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And then I just put 100 times in a row
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They're like, hey, just let you know I'm here
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Hell, you're nuts, my toes said hello
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No
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Exactly, exactly
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So I said, you know what?
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I'm gonna be, I don't know, I'm gonna solve this issue the only way I know how
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And that's why getting them away from me
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I was like, hey, aren't bunk beds fun? And they're like, yeah, bunk beds are also like great
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So you two are in the bunk beds for now on, however, fight over the top
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No, they fought over the bottom, so yeah, I don't get it
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's your super good rich man
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You know, usually fight over the bottom
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Yeah, I'll fight over it
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Much for part of me on the bottom, but
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So much less work on the bottom, Fred
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So, back to bunk beds
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She's right, I'm not gonna argue with her on that
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So, Fred, I opened up the humongous box
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Which was legitimately like 11 feet long
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Yeah, it was ginormous
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And I was like, I'm thinking like, yeah, you know, it's gonna be so bad
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And then like, I'm like, oh man, there's a lot of pieces, there's a lot of box, nice box
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And then as I'm like, well, let me learn from the lessons that I've not learned from in the past
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Right
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And I'm gonna read and very carefully read the instructions
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I'm gonna know exactly what's supposed to happen, where it's supposed to happen
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To whom it's supposed to happen, etc.
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Right?
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And so I read, I open up the instructions and I'm like, wow, this has a lot of pieces
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That's great
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A few beds should have a lot of pieces
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If it didn't have a lot of pieces, that would have been concerning
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So I'm like, cool, well, it's got a lot of pieces
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And they're all remarkably similar looking
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Yeah
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Because they're all just slightly different sizes of pieces of wood
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Right
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There's again, like, this is a nice bunk bed
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It was a wood, it was totally made of wood
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No metal
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No metal
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No metal
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The metal is different, the screw is
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Yeah, right, the hardware is metal
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Right
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Yeah
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But yeah, it's totally wood made by our friends at better homes and gardens
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No, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay
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Right, so I'm like, okay, you know, if there's one thing I know about, I know a lot about homes and gardens friend
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Right
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But I know that these are better
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Yeah
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Than the things I know about homes and gardens
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Right
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So I mean, these are great
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These are gonna be, these are gonna last
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Yeah
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So I'm like, all right, here we go, we're ready to rock and roll
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Found my shovel
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Found my screwdriver
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Was it any shovel for?
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Was just in case
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No, Fred, I didn't know if I needed it or not
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It's shit, I'm bearing it in the yogurt
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It goes bad, it's gonna go real south
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Yeah
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That was my plan, is I'm like
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I could bury it and no one would know
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That I did this
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So
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I am so distracted
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Yeah
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Fred is talking to that fly
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Right, fly, come in
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So I'm like, all right, here we go, got my screwdriver in place, got my allen wrenches, got my height
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Allen, you've got some wrenches
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Got my all my stuff, right?
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No, I, yeah
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You've got this wrenches, man
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You say this, allen wrenches are equally as useful as allen is
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If you take that however you want to take it, I'm just telling you my opinion
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So I'm like, here we go
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Let's tear into this thing
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We've got to knock this bunk bed out
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Right
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Open it up
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And it says, this should take about one hour
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Literally on the front, it says
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Instructions will take one hour
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Instructions will take whatever
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We like to build the bunk beds one hour
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The bunk bed, yeah
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Proximant time to, you know, start to finish
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You're a man
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And I was like, oh, all right, so
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No
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That's not gonna work, there's no fucking possible chance in hell
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That I can build this in an hour
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But I was like, you know what?
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I'm always up for a viral challenge
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Yeah, there you go
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So I'm gonna do everything that I can
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To get this, these motherfucking bunk beds built
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In less or n one hour
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All right, do you film it?
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Do you think I filmed it Fred?
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I'm gonna make it viral
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Of course, man
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I'm gonna, oh, if you don't film it
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I got a little sick off of it
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So it went a different kind of viral
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It's still viral
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I think it never had a cough
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There's a guy he makes, he does like
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Fuck this house
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Like
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He's always like
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No, he's like always doing something around his house
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Like
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He was a shameless kid
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He's like, fuck, once again, welcome back
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Don't fuck this house
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He's not gonna put these fucking papers down
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I like that
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Like, oh, you're son of a bitch
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Why did I think I could do this?
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That is about how I felt
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Yeah, man, you said a fucking thing
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Well, I didn't do that for my own say in these sake
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Because I decided that what I was gonna do Fred is
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We have a political plan
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No, trust me, I will not
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So I said, okay, well, you know what?
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There's another, there's an event
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This is all focused around my comfort and greatness, right?
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Two things I did not have at the end of the night
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So I'm like, I'm gonna watch my guys go ahead and queue the laugh track out
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I was like, I'm gonna watch while I build this quickly
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I'm gonna watch my Charlotte Hornets win a basketball game
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To make it to the NBA playoffs for the first time in like a decade
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And I was like
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He building this now
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Or the Hornets making a playoffs
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I would be better
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When you dare to guess it, what was better Fred?
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The Hornets not making a playoffs
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Your one was better Fred
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So I commence to build
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And it's not by any means like the hardest thing to build
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You know, I mean, it's very straightforward
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Put the bucket in the bucket, tie it together, or whatever
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You just got to make sure all the pieces are facing the right way
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Right, right
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That is the main part
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And once you know and you're like
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Make sure you have the right pieces in the right spot
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And everything's labeled correctly
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And I was not
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And I do think that's part of it
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Because some of the letters weren't necessarily the letters that have said that they were
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But the piece fit
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The way it was supposed to in spite of the letter
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So here we go
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Let's dig her off
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I was like flip that
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And fuck this
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I hate this big, obvious fit
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So let's say an hour goes by, give her take
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Well here's my update, my one hour update Fred
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I have built one third of one bed in one hour
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And at the same time
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While this is going on and this is part of the reason
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My beloved Charlotte Horrence
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The greatest basketball franchise
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That Charlotte's ever produced
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I don't know, don't go up
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Our death on 27 points
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Oh my God
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And an hour and I'm like
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This is the worst day
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But the worst day
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So continue on
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We get, we get there, right?
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It's about, it's about two and a half hours I think from start to finish
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It was almost the entirety of the basketball game
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Which is about a three hour game
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So we finally get to the last part
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I'm like we put the beds together
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We're like, you know, they're two separate beds that you stack, you know, they have the dowels
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So you can like stack them so like, this is great
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I'm not only did I make bunk beds
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I also made two other beds
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I basically just made three beds
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You made three beds?
250
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:35,000
Well, I mean in the way that a transformer or like was it Voltron
251
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:39,000
Voltron is five pieces that come into one piece
252
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:43,000
Technically Voltron as a team is six things, right?
253
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,000
So I made two beds that convert to one bed
254
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000
So technically three beds
255
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000
Yeah
256
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,000
We're gonna let that slide because I like, I did something
257
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,000
Arm leg leg arm head
258
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,000
Exactly
259
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,000
And those are beds, you know
260
00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:00,000
And so I take you to the end and I'm like, we're just...
261
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,000
Man, we are doing great
262
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,000
Considering I thought this was gonna take weeks
263
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,000
We're doing great
264
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,000
Just at the very last possible second
265
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,000
Like I'm literally, I built everything else
266
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:17,000
The last thing I have to do is put on the guard rail for the top bunk
267
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,000
And I realize, oh shit
268
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:24,000
I put the top bunk rails backwards
269
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,000
So the wrong rail on the wrong side
270
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,000
Not that they said, put it on this side
271
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,000
But I didn't do it correctly
272
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000
So not along, it was a few minutes to get it fixed
273
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000
No big deal, not a problem
274
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000
Got it fixed, boom, boom
275
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
Three hours now we're looking at it right
276
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000
Give it a day
277
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000
That's okay
278
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,000
Because you know what?
279
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000
The beds are made
280
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000
Built, built
281
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:48,000
And that means I'm just one night away
282
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,000
And I'm like, what's the best way to do it?
283
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:54,000
And that means I'm just one night away
284
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
From not getting kicked in the nuts
285
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000
Right
286
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,000
And that is enough to make any man happy
287
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:04,000
Even when his team does actually lose the game by 30 points
288
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:08,000
And therefore is out of the playoffs and everything
289
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000
But it's okay, because Fred
290
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,000
Go to sleep, wake up the next day
291
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,000
Bed's just still there
292
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,000
Good news, right?
293
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,000
Great
294
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,000
But now...
295
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,000
So now the beds are there, I'm like, okay
296
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000
We built the beds in the living room
297
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,000
Because I needed to be able to watch the game
298
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:29,000
And now I have to transport the beds to another room with a house
299
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,000
Right, you made it
300
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,000
Oh yeah, no
301
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,000
You made it in the...
302
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,000
No, I don't know you
303
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,000
I don't know you
304
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,000
So I did end up having to take apart
305
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,000
Just one part of one of the two beds
306
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,000
Just one
307
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,000
We get them in there, no big deal
308
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,000
Right
309
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,000
And I'm like, okay, now this is done, kids
310
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000
You can sleep on these right
311
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,000
And they're like, there's no mattresses, dad
312
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,000
And I'm like, well, in my day
313
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000
We didn't get had mattresses
314
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000
It's K with mattresses
315
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,000
Fed's kicked out, yeah
316
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,000
No, I can't control that
317
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000
Try to look
318
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,000
You were lucky if you could sleep on this mattress
319
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,000
You could have done that
320
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000
You could have done it
321
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000
You could have done it a thousand times
322
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000
I wouldn't let anyone else do this
323
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000
I had a third four
324
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,000
So then I'm like, well, shit
325
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,000
Now we have to go mattress shopping
326
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,000
Which is not part of the bunk bed challenge
327
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000
No
328
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,000
But was definitely interesting
329
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,000
Because we walk into the discount mattress store
330
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,000
Which is, you know, the only mattress store
331
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,000
Because all mattresses we get agreed
332
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,000
All mattresses are ridiculously overpriced
333
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,000
You could have went into mattress, man
334
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,000
I went to...
335
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000
I went to like...
336
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,000
Steve's mattress bucket
337
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,000
Or something, I don't know what it was called
338
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,000
It was something that was in the back of an abandoned building
339
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,000
And I'm not kidding about that
340
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000
Okay, so for our local listeners
341
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,000
You know where the Halloween expresses in Walden
342
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,000
The one the big Halloween shop they do in Walden
343
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
That's like inside that huge warehouse
344
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,000
Uh-huh
345
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000
That Halloween store that's like humongous
346
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,000
Yeah
347
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,000
It's in another abandoned wing of that warehouse
348
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,000
You have to walk through another furniture store
349
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000
And it's in the mattress store
350
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,000
Fun fact
351
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000
Get away
352
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,000
That...that factory
353
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,000
Yep, her majesty
354
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,000
Where it all started for your boy
355
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,000
Oh, that's where you were conceived?
356
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,000
No
357
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
Oh, man
358
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000
I was like, if your parents were...
359
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,000
I'm gonna put it out there
360
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,000
That is where my mom meant my dad
361
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000
So there was the maximum going right there, right?
362
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,000
You have been conceived?
363
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000
I'm fine, I've been conceived
364
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,000
My de-man, and that's probably why they're like a band in this place
365
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,000
So we...
366
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,000
We're like, no, we can't...
367
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000
We knew the prophecy would come to life
368
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,000
It always opened like 24/7
369
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,000
Like...
370
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000
You have a wing for it?
371
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,000
No, it was only open now in the wingsdimes
372
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,000
Oh, okay
373
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,000
The rest of the time, it's multiple, small,
374
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000
questionable businesses
375
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,000
Like this furniture store and mattress store
376
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,000
Yeah
377
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,000
So we go to the mattress store
378
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000
They have it in the furniture stores
379
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,000
The mattress store is like one of the...
380
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000
So many
381
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000
So many
382
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,000
We walked through to the back and I'm like, oh, we...
383
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,000
Because I'm like, where's the mattress place?
384
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,000
And they're like, oh, it's in the back
385
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000
And I'm like, we're already in the back
386
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,000
They're like, no, no, no
387
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,000
In the back
388
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,000
And I was like, okay
389
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,000
Back in the back
390
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,000
Back in the back
391
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,000
Yeah, the back...
392
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000
No one comes out of it
393
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
He went through the head like the...
394
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,000
The restaurant said it has the things that he's gonna do
395
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,000
Yeah, the class...
396
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000
The beach...
397
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000
The B-curtains
398
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000
The B-curtains?
399
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000
Oh, yeah
400
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000
If only I could have...
401
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,000
So...
402
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000
In the bed/bath port
403
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,000
You don't want to know what's beyond, buddy
404
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,000
You missed the bed part by a long time
405
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,000
So, now we get back there and of course, you know...
406
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000
You never know what you're gonna walk into, right?
407
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,000
So we walk into this...
408
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000
This pretty decent-sized room
409
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,000
Miles of mattresses
410
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000
Mattresses...
411
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,000
His stack is high as the eye can see
412
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,000
Four or five...
413
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,000
High at the heart
414
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,000
He mungus
415
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,000
Look over...
416
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,000
There's a portly gentleman
417
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,000
Who looks like he's ready to strike a deal
418
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,000
Which I appreciate
419
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000
However, I did interrupt his lunch
420
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,000
And I was like, oh, I'm gonna...
421
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,000
However, I did interrupt his lunch
422
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,000
Which was one block of cheese and eight hot dogs
423
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,000
With no buns
424
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,000
He was a medium bread
425
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,000
Yeah, he was like, no, he was like, hey, bro
426
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000
I'm on the car...
427
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000
First thing he says, hey, bro
428
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,000
I'm on the car and we're diet
429
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,000
And I was like, oh...
430
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
Is this the mattress place?
431
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000
Or is this like diet advice?
432
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000
101
433
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,000
And they beef...
434
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000
I don't know what is in it once
435
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000
I wish I didn't know that
436
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,000
Manimal
437
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,000
Manimal
438
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,000
Manimal, welcome to my home for some
439
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000
I'm in the carnivore diet by the...
440
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,000
Hot dogs
441
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,000
Right, right
442
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,000
Which technically are...
443
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,000
Carnivores have been...
444
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,000
There's sort of carnivores
445
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,000
They're meat
446
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,000
They are meat
447
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000
They're like...
448
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,000
They're pieces of meat
449
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,000
They're meat
450
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,000
Yeah, on parts
451
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,000
On parts they're meat
452
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,000
For sure
453
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,000
So the guy's like, hey, so what are you looking for?
454
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,000
And I was like, I just need two twin size mattresses, all right?
455
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000
No big deal
456
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000
You're right
457
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000
He's like...
458
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000
He's like, so...
459
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,000
Do you look around like that too?
460
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,000
Yeah, yeah
461
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,000
And he was like...
462
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,000
And he was like...
463
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
Well, he's like, so...
464
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Do you want like...
465
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000
Like the good mattresses?
466
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,000
Or like the good mattress?
467
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,000
And I'm like, what's the cheapest one?
468
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000
It's not...
469
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000
I don't even...
470
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,000
They don't even have that game...
471
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000
It's the same twin...
472
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,000
Yeah, he's like this one that I'm sitting on...
473
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,000
He thought was my shirt is an absolute mattress
474
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,000
No, he's like...
475
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,000
He's like, no, I got some over here...
476
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,000
Check him out
477
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000
And I'm like, yep
478
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,000
Those look exactly like mattresses
479
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000
I nailed it
480
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000
So he's like, we want to test them out
481
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,000
And I'm like, well, no, I don't want to test them out
482
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,000
Because if I lay down in the public, I'm going to sleep
483
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000
Like, there's no...
484
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000
Don't give me the opportunity
485
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:47,000
So I can't be like, you have some girls in the back
486
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000
You're going to test them out
487
00:18:48,000 --> 00:19:00,000
I'm like, well, no, I'm not gonna be like, I'll consider it...
488
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,000
So I let the kids jump on the mattress
489
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000
Like, lay down on this mattress, telling them it's good
490
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000
And they're like, yeah, and I'm like, do you guys know
491
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000
The difference is three to good mattresses
492
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,000
Bad mattresses are like, no, I'm like, good
493
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000
Perfect
494
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000
So we're just going to get the cheap ones
495
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
Which was not, I mean, we're relatively cheap
496
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000
The guy made me an offer I couldn't refuse
497
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000
It's Bill and Brooks
498
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,000
He's like, it's filled with this weird white powder
499
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:26,000
He's like, I'm like, oh, this is so good mattresses
500
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,000
I'm about to say, all the mattresses
501
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
There's a couple of them, go for it
502
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000
Oh, yeah, there's a lot of them
503
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,000
And a block of cheese
504
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000
You man
505
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,000
Free block of cheese
506
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,000
This is not going to be that much
507
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,000
You want free block of cheese, happy
508
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,000
So, no, so he's like, all right, man
509
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
So he like pulls me the side, right?
510
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,000
As salesmen do
511
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:52,000
And he's like, listen, because I was like dude, are you like, can I get a little better deal than this?
512
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,000
Or what? Like, he's like, we need to deliver it?
513
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,000
I was like, no, I can come get it
514
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000
I have a small car, but I was like, I have access to a vehicle
515
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,000
I'm on it
516
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000
Yeah, I was thinking about that
517
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,000
I was like, how, how is he going to get in that
518
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
And, you know, the top of the girl
519
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,000
Are you know, what the, I considered the tie-in-down method
520
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,000
Yeah, and I was like, that's probably a bad idea
521
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,000
So, I was like, I have access to a vehicle if you guys can't deliver
522
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,000
He's like, well, we can't deliver, but it'll be tomorrow
523
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000
I'll show you like a hundred bucks
524
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000
And I was like, yeah, I'm not doing any of that shit
525
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,000
So I was like, well, if I come back, if I pick it up and do all that, like
526
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000
Can you come me a deal, right?
527
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000
Yeah
528
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,000
And he's, so he's like, all right, come here, chief
529
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,000
Come over here to the corner of the mattress store that I own
530
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000
He's like, he's like here
531
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
Put this hot dog in your mouth for a second
532
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,000
He's like, you know, let me take a picture of it
533
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000
And then we're gonna work it out
534
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,000
Yeah, wiggling around, making a little more
535
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,000
Just a little more
536
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,000
Make the noise, you can extra 10% off
537
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000
He's in peace
538
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000
So he's like, so he's like, hey man
539
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,000
He's like, what's something like, you know
540
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000
Well, I'm not supposed to say this
541
00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:01,000
But like, if you pay cash, certain things won't be added to the total
542
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,000
Yeah
543
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000
I was like, oh, word is like, yes
544
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,000
So if you happen to bring back, you know, a couple hundred bucks in cash
545
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,000
You don't have to worry about it going up higher than that
546
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,000
Right
547
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,000
And I was like, oh, word to that
548
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,000
I'm in, I'm like, I don't have a problem doing that, fuck the government
549
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,000
Yeah
550
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:21,000
So, I go get to be able to get the cash
551
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,000
You know, come back
552
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
No taxes on fuel
553
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
I wouldn't know anything about that
554
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000
So I did buy my mattresses for tips
555
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,000
So, so get myself, get it in there
556
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000
Everything's great, everything's good
557
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,000
Get the things home, mattress fit
558
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,000
You just fit kids don't sleep on the pets
559
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000
So that's the end of that story
560
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000
The mattress challenge failed
561
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,000
No, it was fine, they're getting used to them
562
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,000
But it was an adventure of a day
563
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,000
Yeah, that happened
564
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,000
Great day, so tired
565
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,000
Yeah, I had to put my daughters being together
566
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Like a day being
567
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000
But this was mental
568
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,000
Oh yeah
569
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,000
The tricky part with that was
570
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,000
You had to put the frame together
571
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:08,000
And then the slats fit into holes
572
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000
Like in like 12 of them
573
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,000
Yeah, like in the frame
574
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:16,000
But like you had to get it just perfect
575
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,000
So all of them would fit in there
576
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000
Or like one would fall out
577
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,000
And try to put that one back in
578
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000
I would hate that
579
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:28,000
I was so frustrated
580
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,000
I was so frustrated
581
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,000
That would have burdened me
582
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,000
Over the edge of whatever it was
583
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000
Of the edges I would have been like
584
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,000
I would have burdened everyone
585
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000
I would put that last one in
586
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,000
And then like
587
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,000
All right, it's in there
588
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000
And like three of them fall out on the other side
589
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,000
I'm like, I need to fall on like this
590
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,000
Listen honey, you will sleep at night
591
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,000
Hopefully
592
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,000
Fucking day, baby
593
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,000
I'll then like
594
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,000
So I'll finally get it right
595
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,000
And then like you know
596
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,000
It's a day bed so it's kind of up high
597
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,000
Yeah
598
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,000
And it has
599
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,000
I don't know what it's called
600
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,000
Goes underneath it
601
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,000
A trumble
602
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,000
A trumble
603
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,000
Yeah, yeah, trumble
604
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,000
Yeah, like you could store an extra mattress
605
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,000
Yeah, like underneath it
606
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
And my wife was like
607
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,000
Aren't you gonna put that together?
608
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,000
No, I'm not putting that up
609
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,000
Why?
610
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,000
Why?
611
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,000
Why?
612
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000
Well, I want to put together
613
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,000
And then you fucking put it in there
614
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,000
Like you just hired yourself
615
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,000
Here in the pieces, here in the apartment, here in the instructions
616
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000
And she put that down for like
617
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
You said you were 30 minutes later friends
618
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000
Putting that shit together
619
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,000
I was like, if you want to match
620
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,000
There's a need to slide it underneath
621
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,000
Yeah, just slide it underneath
622
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,000
You know what I mean?
623
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,000
That's completely up there
624
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,000
And wheeling it out anyway
625
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,000
I was like, hell no
626
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,000
No, I agree
627
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000
I'm gonna do it, dude, I'm gonna do it
628
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,000
That's cool
629
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,000
Yeah, until we got her a new fucking bed
630
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000
That's me
631
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,000
It's been 16 years later
632
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,000
I mean, you had her a new fucking bed
633
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,000
I was like, yo, what you want to do with these parts, right?
634
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000
Yeah
635
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,000
Fucking never even used the mattress
636
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,000
Yeah, I was like, look, he's got what you
637
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,000
Mattresses are made for beds, not underneath beds
638
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,000
Oh my God, dude
639
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,000
There you go, it's a very bad heavy episode
640
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000
Heavy episode so far, I'll just say it in him
641
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,000
Well, speaking of sort of beds, not really
642
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Sort of, I have a challenge for you guys
643
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,000
We'll do real quick, it should be a pretty quick one
644
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,000
I think
645
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,000
And it's the PLC
646
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,000
What would you do challenge
647
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,000
We're piggybacking and we're almost
648
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,000
And we're this close, Alan, to get in
649
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,000
Well, you're dream to come true
650
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,000
We can just change that what to a who
651
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000
Even when you just change the @2 and 0
652
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,000
It would be the happiest little boy in all of this
653
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,000
One day it would be who would you do
654
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000
What do we, what was the other one?
655
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000
Who would win?
656
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000
Who would you slap?
657
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,000
Yeah
658
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,000
That's a long list.
659
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,000
It was only an hour long show
660
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000
But I'm warming them up right now
661
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Oh, that's a lot of good.
662
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000
But if you could like
663
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,000
If you could versus like the deal to slap
664
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,000
Competitive
665
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,000
Oh yeah, slap kind of
666
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,000
Yeah, the slap off, yeah, like if you could build a slap off
667
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
Somebody who would you
668
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,000
But go ahead with what would you do?
669
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,000
I've been
670
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,000
Well, we'll say who would you slap
671
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,000
I say I can tell you the answer
672
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,000
Because I've been an often on slapping God does
673
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,000
With a certain member of my downstairs area for a long time
674
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,000
And I usually win
675
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,000
Slap it missfully
676
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000
Slap it missfully
677
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,000
I don't know it.
678
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,000
That's what it is.
679
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,000
It's practice.
680
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000
That's why because if I got all this practice
681
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000
So okay, so
682
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000
Oh, there it is.
683
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,000
Okay, so what would you do?
684
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,000
That's not gonna work.
685
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000
Here's my thing was inside that helmet.
686
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,000
So Fred and Alan
687
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000
What would you do?
688
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000
The first one we have four of these
689
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,000
And they're not great.
690
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000
So do your best.
691
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,000
Okay.
692
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,000
And then we have the first one
693
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,000
The mystery thermostat war.
694
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,000
Okay.
695
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,000
Now picture this Fred and Alan.
696
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,000
Yeah.
697
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,000
You live with your partner.
698
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000
Boy or girl, it doesn't matter.
699
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,000
We're not judging.
700
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:33,000
And every night before bed you set the thermostat
701
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,000
To a crisp 68 degrees.
702
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,000
All right.
703
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,000
And yet, Fred,
704
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:43,000
Every morning when you awaken from your slumber
705
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:48,000
You are drenched in sweat as you begin to discover every morning
706
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:55,000
That the thermostat has been changed to 74 degrees Fahrenheit.
707
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:59,000
Now, no one will admit to touching it.
708
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:04,000
There are only two of you there in a dollar.
709
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,000
So what do you do?
710
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,000
Break up with him.
711
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,000
Get out of here.
712
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,000
Why are you so worried?
713
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Why are you lying?
714
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000
Why are you lying about this?
715
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,000
Why just say you turn it up?
716
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,000
You know, we two of us.
717
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Yeah.
718
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,000
I play this game constantly.
719
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,000
I'm like, what's the man?
720
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:29,000
What's the name of the light?
721
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,000
Oh.
722
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,000
Oh.
723
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,000
He's come to steal your poop.
724
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,000
Yeah.
725
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,000
He's coming in and changing the thermostat at night.
726
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:42,000
He's like, oh, the light.
727
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,000
The cold.
728
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:47,000
He's the dark man.
729
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,000
I hear it.
730
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,000
No, but not the mabadook.
731
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:51,000
But close it up.
732
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,000
So, yeah.
733
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,000
So you would see, I agree.
734
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,000
I mean, because that's just, that's a stupid reason to lie, man.
735
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000
Yeah, I don't have a, that's the thing.
736
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,000
If you're lying to me about that.
737
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,000
Yeah.
738
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,000
You're a lot of me about.
739
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,000
What else you lie to me about?
740
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,000
Right?
741
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,000
I agree with that.
742
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:10,000
So, yeah, I think the proper answer is break up with them.
743
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000
You're going to be a partner for a hundred years.
744
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,000
That's it.
745
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,000
This is it.
746
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,000
This is a, this is important.
747
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,000
I don't want to wake up sweaty.
748
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000
Yeah.
749
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,000
I feel like I'm going to wake up sweaty.
750
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,000
I've been all ready too long.
751
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,000
That's like the answer to everything already.
752
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,000
Oh, yeah.
753
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,000
Yeah.
754
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000
Yeah.
755
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,000
Yeah.
756
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,000
I noticed that my girlfriend didn't put in enough gas when she borrowed my car.
757
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,000
They're like, break up with her ass.
758
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Break up with it.
759
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,000
Yeah.
760
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,000
Yeah.
761
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,000
Yeah.
762
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,000
All right.
763
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000
Not untrue.
764
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,000
All right.
765
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,000
So, here we go.
766
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,000
This one, Fred.
767
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,000
This one might hit a little closer to home.
768
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000
All right.
769
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,000
Get ready.
770
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000
This one's called.
771
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,000
Oh, wait, Alan.
772
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,000
Would you agree, break up with her?
773
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,000
Okay.
774
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,000
Just make it your.
775
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,000
Thank you.
776
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,000
Thank you.
777
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,000
I forgot.
778
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,000
This is an audio podcast.
779
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,000
So, Fred, how about this one?
780
00:28:55,000 --> 00:29:00,000
This one's cordially entitled, the group chat, Mooture.
781
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,000
Moot.
782
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,000
Okay.
783
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,000
Mooture.
784
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,000
Mooture.
785
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000
Okay.
786
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,000
Mooture.
787
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,000
Mooture.
788
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,000
Mooture.
789
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,000
Okay.
790
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,000
Mooture.
791
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,000
Mooture.
792
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,000
Mooture.
793
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,000
Mooture.
794
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,000
Mooture.
795
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,000
Mooture.
796
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,000
Okay.
797
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,000
Mooture.
798
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:17,000
Mooture.
799
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,000
Mooture.
800
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000
Okay.
801
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,000
Mooture.
802
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,000
Mooture.
803
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Okay.
804
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,000
Mooture.
805
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,000
Mooture.
806
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,000
Mooture.
807
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,000
Okay.
808
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:26,000
Mooture.
809
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,000
Mooture.
810
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:27,000
Mooture.
811
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,000
Mooture.
812
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,000
Mooture.
813
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,000
Mooture.
814
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,000
Mooture.
815
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:31,000
So, Fred, you and your so-called friends.
816
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,000
And then we'll actually.
817
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,000
So, depending on what you say, we'll see if it happens or not.
818
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:40,120
So, Fred, you have a long-running group chat where everybody takes terms, bringing snacks
819
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:41,120
for game night.
820
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:42,120
And it's sweet.
821
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,120
Sweet to have a game, right?
822
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:44,120
Yeah.
823
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:45,120
Oh, okay.
824
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,120
That's nice.
825
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:54,000
One guy, though, always shows up empty-handed and says, "Oh, I'll get you next time."
826
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:58,000
And then we'll hold on to make it worse.
827
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:04,840
And then he eats half the case, so before anyone even gets the chips into it.
828
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:08,000
He's done this, going on nine months.
829
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,000
Nine months.
830
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,000
What do you do?
831
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,000
Hey.
832
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,000
Well, it's definitely not me because I have show up once.
833
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,000
Yeah, that's right, bring it up.
834
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,000
This is easy.
835
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,000
What would you do?
836
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,000
You just break up with him.
837
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,000
Yeah, bring it up.
838
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,000
Yeah, bring it up.
839
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,000
I'll bring it up.
840
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,000
This is easy.
841
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,000
What would you do?
842
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,000
Easy.
843
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,000
You just break up with him.
844
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:27,000
Yeah, bring it up.
845
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,000
We do have a guy like that.
846
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,000
Yeah, I know we do.
847
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,000
Every time he...
848
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,000
I mean, and you know what?
849
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,000
If you don't bring nothing...
850
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,000
That's okay.
851
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,000
That's all right.
852
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,000
Yeah, I'm saying.
853
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,000
And I want everybody to come back.
854
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,000
Yeah, I mean, not even that.
855
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:45,000
Even if you just don't want maybe you don't know how to cook.
856
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:50,000
But like, this dude come over every time and he'll bring like a tall boy.
857
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,000
Right.
858
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,000
And he'll drink that.
859
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,000
And you know that tall boy.
860
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000
And he'll be like, you can't get out of here.
861
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000
And he'll be like, you know, for beer every time.
862
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,000
But I always buy a North.
863
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:06,000
Because you know, like, I know, you know what I mean?
864
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,000
But like, at the same time, I'm like, bro.
865
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,000
It gets annoying.
866
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,000
Yeah.
867
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:17,000
He tried to give me, you know how we played like 10% in like,
868
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,000
the chips is 10 dollars.
869
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,000
Yeah.
870
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:24,000
He tried to give me like $20, $20 in chips.
871
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,000
And it was like, here you go, bro.
872
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,000
I like, bro, that's like 20 cents, man.
873
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,000
Like, you know, that's $2, man.
874
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,000
We're good.
875
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,000
Yeah.
876
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,000
Yeah.
877
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,000
It's like that.
878
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,000
Not worth that.
879
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:41,000
But at the same time, like, you just got to bring it, bring it, bring it doesn't.
880
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,000
One time.
881
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,000
Yeah.
882
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,000
One time just one time.
883
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,000
And just be like, look, I did something.
884
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,000
Hey, leave them.
885
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,000
Leave them.
886
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,000
Yeah.
887
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:50,000
Yeah.
888
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,000
Yeah.
889
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,000
Right.
890
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,000
Right.
891
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:54,000
Right.
892
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,000
Right.
893
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,000
Right.
894
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,000
Right.
895
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,000
Right.
896
00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,000
Right.
897
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,000
Right.
898
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,000
Right.
899
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:01,000
Right.
900
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,000
Right.
901
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,000
Right.
902
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,000
Right.
903
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:04,000
Right.
904
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,000
Right.
905
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,000
Right.
906
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000
Right.
907
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,000
Right.
908
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,000
Right.
909
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,000
Right.
910
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,000
Right.
911
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,000
Right.
912
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000
I've taken the house in the pennies.
913
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,000
Oh, no, I've won.
914
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,000
I had that.
915
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,000
You go ahead and have it.
916
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:18,000
I have it.
917
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,000
If it happens this week, or more, I have a conversation with them, like, look.
918
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000
I know, I know something, man.
919
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,000
I'm kidding.
920
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,000
I can't even move that guy in, man.
921
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,000
That's exactly even better.
922
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,000
It works way better.
923
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:31,000
If you don't work for the movie, like a you guy, he's been over here, like, I think that.
924
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,000
Oh, 100.
925
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,000
Yeah.
926
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,000
Like, so there you go.
927
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,000
So, I'll show up the game.
928
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,000
This week.
929
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,000
Yeah.
930
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,000
Yeah.
931
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,000
Yeah.
932
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Yeah.
933
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000
If I show up, you guys would be so happy.
934
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,000
Yeah.
935
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:45,000
We show up.
936
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,000
We'll be like, you're drinking beer, please.
937
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,000
Yeah.
938
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,000
Exactly.
939
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,000
Yeah.
940
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,000
Yeah.
941
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,000
Yeah.
942
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,000
I'll be like, drink more.
943
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,000
Drink more.
944
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,000
Oh, man.
945
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,000
What's up, man?
946
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,000
I'm like, you're not going to throw you in the face.
947
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,000
Yeah.
948
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,000
I think you're not.
949
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000
What about that with a cow?
950
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000
You're a big cow person.
951
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,000
No.
952
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,000
All right, Fred.
953
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,000
So far, two for two, you guys have nailed these.
954
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,000
Exactly what I would do.
955
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000
Break up with them.
956
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,000
Break up with them.
957
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,960
But, Fred, this one is a little different.
958
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:17,000
And Alan may actually have experience with this, so I'm going to point this on toward him.
959
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:23,000
The next one is the conundrum of the neighbor's decorative rooster.
960
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,000
You ready for that?
961
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:31,920
Fred and Alan, your next door neighbor has installed a gigantic metal rooster in their front yard.
962
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,720
It is both shiny and terrifying.
963
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:42,080
And every time the wind blows, it makes a low scraping sound like a ghost dragging its balls
964
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,000
across the cock creed.
965
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,000
Okay.
966
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,000
Sure.
967
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Yeah.
968
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:56,000
It is visible from your kitchen window in your toddler now calls it the iron chicken of
969
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,000
doom.
970
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,000
What do you do?
971
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,000
So, it's in my name is you're right.
972
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,000
Your name is Fred.
973
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,000
I break up with with the chicken.
974
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000
It was.
975
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000
You moved.
976
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,000
They don't have.
977
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,000
I wouldn't do anything.
978
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,000
Yeah.
979
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000
What can you do?
980
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000
I mean, that's what I'm asking.
981
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000
But not what can you do?
982
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,000
This isn't the right way.
983
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,000
I don't know.
984
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:13,000
I don't know.
985
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,000
I just want to do anything.
986
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,000
Yeah.
987
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,000
I don't know what you do.
988
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,000
This isn't what can you do.
989
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,000
This is what do you do?
990
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,000
Nothing.
991
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,000
You just let it be.
992
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:24,000
You just let the ghost, the ghost ball scraping continues.
993
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,000
I'd say I've put something.
994
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,000
I try to figure out.
995
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000
We're panty.
996
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:31,000
You can try to figure out something that annoys him.
997
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,000
Right.
998
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,000
And then like do that.
999
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,000
Do that.
1000
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,000
Do it.
1001
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,000
Yeah.
1002
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,000
Yeah.
1003
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,000
You know, I would tell him I'd be like, man, that chick tells like a ghost is crying and growing
1004
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,000
his head.
1005
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,000
Yeah.
1006
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,000
Yeah.
1007
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,000
And I'd be like, honestly, bro, I'm not.
1008
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,000
That's horrible.
1009
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:53,000
Like, you want a lawn on a bit like, I don't know if you're trying to make up for something
1010
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:54,000
with that.
1011
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,000
Yeah.
1012
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,000
Yeah.
1013
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,000
Yeah.
1014
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,000
Yeah.
1015
00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,000
Yeah.
1016
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,000
I was saying that.
1017
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,000
Yeah.
1018
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,000
I'm curious.
1019
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,000
Yeah.
1020
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,000
I see.
1021
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,000
I think the noise was that like to have a burning cross in front of their house.
1022
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:08,000
Yeah.
1023
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,000
Well, but this could be the equivalent of that in this universe.
1024
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:11,000
What color?
1025
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,000
It's shiny.
1026
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,000
It's shiny.
1027
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,000
It's a shiny.
1028
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,000
It's a shiny cock.
1029
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,000
Shiny cock.
1030
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,000
Big shiny cock in their friend.
1031
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,000
Big shiny cock.
1032
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,000
Yeah.
1033
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:22,000
Big as you can get the biggest one you can legally buy.
1034
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,000
Yeah.
1035
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,000
It's a neck.
1036
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,000
If it was black now, yeah, now if it was black, uh, where he would be jealous.
1037
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,000
Well, it was.
1038
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,000
It could be like, you could put a sign.
1039
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:47,000
You could put a sign in your yard with it.
1040
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,000
That's my cock.
1041
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,000
It's the big shiny cock.
1042
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,000
Yeah.
1043
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,000
Straight up.
1044
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,000
Everybody's like, oh, my God.
1045
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,000
It has got a big shiny cock.
1046
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,000
Why?
1047
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,000
You guys are with the big shiny cock.
1048
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,000
Yeah.
1049
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,000
Hey, you want to come up?
1050
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,000
Yeah.
1051
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,000
I'm not going to drag in a bunch of coconut oil.
1052
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,000
Rub in that cock.
1053
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,000
Yeah.
1054
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,000
It'd be like a police chase.
1055
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,000
And it's a rally.
1056
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,000
And they got ready.
1057
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,000
And even is it is that a big shiny cock there?
1058
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,000
And you're like, please hit it off.
1059
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,000
Please.
1060
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,000
That's what I think I would do.
1061
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:21,000
I think if it got to the point where I was like, this I cannot live with this anymore, I would pay local teens to steal it.
1062
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,000
Local teens, man.
1063
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,000
Nobody can do anything in local teens.
1064
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,000
Yeah.
1065
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,000
That's the one thing.
1066
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,000
Yeah.
1067
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,000
One thing that the one that's good.
1068
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,000
They do that.
1069
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,000
There's so many of them.
1070
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,000
They're so close.
1071
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,000
Yeah.
1072
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,000
Oh, it's going to be local teens.
1073
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,000
Yeah.
1074
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,000
And they're like, oh, local teens got us again.
1075
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,000
I'm like, oh.
1076
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,000
You're poor.
1077
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:40,000
You know, they build a lot of houses around me.
1078
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,000
And that's one thing.
1079
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,000
That's one thing I am afraid of local teens.
1080
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,000
Yeah.
1081
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,000
Yeah.
1082
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,000
I'm telling you, man, local teens, man, they get bored.
1083
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,000
That's the number one cause of things in America.
1084
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,000
We have local teens.
1085
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,000
That's the best of all things, all the things.
1086
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,000
Yeah.
1087
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000
All right.
1088
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,000
So you guys would do nothing.
1089
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:06,000
I would pay a group of rowdy teens to go and steal it or just to stand near it during the
1090
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,000
day.
1091
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:11,000
And every time somebody walks by point and say, have you seen this huge cock?
1092
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,000
And I wonder how long your neighbor would like it then.
1093
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,000
What do you see?
1094
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,000
I've imagined in Parker going by the park.
1095
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,000
Hey, come here.
1096
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,000
Hey, look at that.
1097
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,000
Yeah.
1098
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,000
Yeah.
1099
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,000
Yeah.
1100
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:29,000
And look at each other than that one's like, he could have done it.
1101
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,000
Like hopping my unmarked man.
1102
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,000
Yeah.
1103
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,000
The definitely doesn't say cock patrol on it.
1104
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,000
Yeah.
1105
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000
Shining cock patrol.
1106
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,000
Do I gotta say you?
1107
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:42,000
Everyone knows that, boys.
1108
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,000
That's the rules.
1109
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,000
That's the rules.
1110
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,000
All right.
1111
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,000
Well, Fred one more and then one more.
1112
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,000
It's not a literal cock.
1113
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,000
No, it's not.
1114
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,000
And then I wish you guys would understand that radio audience.
1115
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,000
Yeah.
1116
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,000
So, so here's the last one.
1117
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,000
And this is the case and this one never happened any of us.
1118
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,000
The accidental work legends.
1119
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,000
Yeah, that won't happen.
1120
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,000
Right.
1121
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,000
Exactly.
1122
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,000
That's how I know this one.
1123
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000
What would I do?
1124
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,000
I would wake up and be like, no, didn't happen.
1125
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,000
And I'd say, where's my, where's my pillow?
1126
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000
Yeah.
1127
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,000
Thank you.
1128
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,000
That work.
1129
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:17,000
Someone mistakenly gives you credit for a spreadsheet you did not create.
1130
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:24,000
Now, multiple people are complimenting you on your brilliant tracking system.
1131
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,000
Your boss mentioned your initiative in a meeting.
1132
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:31,000
And the actual creator is out on vacation for another week.
1133
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,000
Uh.
1134
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,000
Every hour that passes is harder to correct.
1135
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,000
What?
1136
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,000
Do you do?
1137
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,000
Oh, I just tell him I didn't do it.
1138
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,000
Yeah, you got to hold it.
1139
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,000
I feel the same way.
1140
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,000
I would immediately.
1141
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,000
Yeah.
1142
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,000
That wasn't me.
1143
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,000
Because then that's really going to bite you in the air.
1144
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,000
Right.
1145
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,000
Because eventually something's going to be found out that it's broken.
1146
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,000
Right.
1147
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,000
Something's not right when the dual comes back from vacation.
1148
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,000
Yeah.
1149
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,000
He's about to fucking.
1150
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:59,000
Did you hear about, I know you have vacation, but he'd be like, I took one week off from this
1151
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,000
job.
1152
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:03,000
He was all a gigantic eight foot shiny metal chicken in my front yard.
1153
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,000
And this is when I come back to.
1154
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:08,000
I'm sorry, Dad.
1155
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,000
I just didn't know.
1156
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,000
You were so preoccupied with your huge black cock.
1157
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,000
I know.
1158
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:21,000
I would have 100% be like, not mad at me.
1159
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,000
Yeah.
1160
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,000
That would be.
1161
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,000
It's great, but it ain't me.
1162
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:25,000
Yeah.
1163
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,000
Which it was.
1164
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,000
Yeah.
1165
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:32,000
I wish I would have, but, you know, I'm just doing other words.
1166
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,000
I'd be like, if you guys want to get me credit for it, yeah, sure.
1167
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,000
But I'll take it.
1168
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:37,000
I'll take it.
1169
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,000
I'll take it till the kids back.
1170
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,000
Right.
1171
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,000
I'll take it till Dan shows back up.
1172
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000
And then we're then it's over.
1173
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,000
So.
1174
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,000
Yeah.
1175
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,000
Who would you.
1176
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,000
What?
1177
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,000
Who?
1178
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,000
Yeah.
1179
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,000
Who would you want?
1180
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,000
Who would you want?
1181
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,000
Who would you want?
1182
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,000
What would you do?
1183
00:39:52,000 --> 00:40:00,000
Please, gentlemen, we'll take a quick break while we do whatever we're going to do.
1184
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,000
Yes.
1185
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,000
And we'll be back with more of the B.O.'s.
1186
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,000
Podcast.
1187
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:11,000
The Black Lincoln collective podcast will return after a word from our sponsors.
1188
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,000
There he is, kids.
1189
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,000
The Shadow Man.
1190
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:15,000
Be careful.
1191
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:20,000
Or he'll steal your poop and show you his fingers.
1192
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:23,000
Look at my fingers.
1193
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,000
No.
1194
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,000
Oh, oh.
1195
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:31,000
Oh, I'm going to plant the world into darkness.
1196
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,000
No, you white oxos will protect us.
1197
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,000
We shine a lot upon you.
1198
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000
Ah.
1199
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,000
Ah.
1200
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,000
Oh!
1201
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:46,200
Oh, the light!
1202
00:40:46,200 --> 00:41:01,120
[Music]
1203
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:26,560
Welcome back to the 235th edition of the DLC podcast. That's right Fred, I'm wearing a normal size football helmet.
1204
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:36,000
Everyone can tell, obviously, so it's so tiny and it's like falling on the whole time.
1205
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:40,400
All right, there are those dealers, we suck. Both of them flag football in a real life.
1206
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:45,840
So welcome back to the show ladies and gentlemen, we're so glad you're here. We hope you enjoyed the NFL
1207
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:52,560
draft that's been taking place over the last couple of days. It didn't happen. I hope all your teams
1208
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:58,160
got all their favorite picks. That guy went number one. Oh, that guy is so good at football.
1209
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:05,840
So good at throwing and catching and running and touching. He touches it down so much and so
1210
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:13,040
fastly. That's pretty great. So Fred, with the NFL draft coming to an end,
1211
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:18,320
that means that it's time for one of our favorite segments we've ever done.
1212
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:23,360
Oh, yeah. Alan, cue up the sports music for a moment. Sure.
1213
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:27,600
Okay, you're ready. Here we go. One of our favorite segments ever, Alan.
1214
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,240
Okay.
1215
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:37,840
[Music]
1216
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:43,840
I'm more ask Alan anything.
1217
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:52,000
That's right. It's time for ask Alan anything. Everyone's favorite segment that we do
1218
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:56,240
all the time. It's the meeting. Oh, damn.
1219
00:42:56,240 --> 00:43:01,040
We say, you know, if you skip a meeting, you're going to get it. So,
1220
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:06,400
thankfully, you know, think about it is, it feels like we just came up with this last night,
1221
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:14,080
but we did. For months, this has been, I've been receiving emails and letters from our loyal
1222
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:18,960
listeners all across the United States for this one. Okay. We'll do an international version soon,
1223
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:26,400
but right now all across the US. And I've been meticulously just looking at them and looking at them
1224
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:34,080
and not reading them, but looking at them really closely, but not reading them. So today,
1225
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:46,080
Alan, all right, I have five, pop, listener questions for you to answer because you answer anything.
1226
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:54,640
Yes, I answer any kind of question. Let's see. All right, Alan. So our first question is from Denise.
1227
00:43:54,640 --> 00:44:03,920
Denise lives in Tucson, Arizona. And she said, ask Alan anything. I've been dating this guy for
1228
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:11,920
almost eight months. Okay. And he says he doesn't believe in labels. But he did help me assemble an
1229
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:19,440
outdoor storage bench in 104 degree heat to son. Is that love or just upper body confidence?
1230
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:30,480
Hard to me. He's thinking about it. Denise. Yeah. What would you say to young lovers who just put
1231
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:38,720
together quite a bench? And that's one big bench. I got to think this through I would say go fuck
1232
00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:46,480
yourself. Okay. So try that Denise. See how that works. See that helps you figure out your ambiguous
1233
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:52,960
relationship with this guy. Well, Alan, that's great answer as they all are. And this is definitely not
1234
00:44:52,960 --> 00:45:00,320
a pre-recorded segment. Now, Alan, now that you gave Denise such great. We'd love for you to answer
1235
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:12,640
our friend Trevor. So, so, so, Trevor says Alan, I bought a vintage tabletop radio to flea market.
1236
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:21,600
And now it only plays static in one very angry AM preacher. Do I need a YouTube a better antenna
1237
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:31,760
priest to exercise the demons? There's one thing I know about Alan. It's his in-depth knowledge of
1238
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:39,760
vintage tabletop. Yes. Yes. Well, first, you know, you got to control the volume and check the little
1239
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:45,600
crystals inside and use the little things. And, you know, and the little thing inside with the little
1240
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:51,760
scoogever and go fuck yourself. There you go. So maybe try the priest first. Yeah, try the priest
1241
00:45:51,760 --> 00:46:00,000
because he'll never mind. Yep. Well, Alan, another great well thought out answer from the
1242
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:07,120
from the mind that only Alan could handle. So now we're going to head down a little more R way,
1243
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:12,640
Alan. Oh, okay. And we're going to listen to a letter from Shanice in Savannah, Georgia.
1244
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:16,880
Oh, okay. Hi, Denise. Hi, Shanice. Shanice. How are you doing, girl?
1245
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:24,960
Nice. Jay nice. Alan Shanice says Alan. And she spelled your name right.
1246
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:33,360
Reverend. And what is the correct number of decorative pillows before your bed becomes a project
1247
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:41,840
instead of a bed? 17. 17. Nailed it. 17 is the correct answer to these. Add or subtract pillows
1248
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:46,960
as you see fit. Yeah. 17. Right answer. So now Fred are now Alan one more. Do you want to let
1249
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:51,760
Fred answer one? Yeah. We'll let Fred answer one. Why not? Fred, you can answer this one.
1250
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:57,920
This is our old buddy Gary for Medford, Oregon. I get right. And this is going to get close to
1251
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:08,080
here. How are you doing here? Oh, gear bear. So Alan or hey, Fred, we'll say, hey, Fred,
1252
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:14,800
Alan, my neighbor keeps waving at me every morning. And I've been waving back for three years.
1253
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:22,080
The problem is I'm no longer sure he knows who I am. But now I'm scared to break the streak.
1254
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:26,080
How do I get out of this precarious predicament?
1255
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:34,880
I'll talk to your neighbor. This is why we make it. I tell you what,
1256
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:44,400
get home before he gets home. And then just casually go looking his mailbox.
1257
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:51,840
Hey, Fred, don't take the, don't take the man. Wait, wait, wait, wait, go fuck yourself.
1258
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:57,600
Good advice. And then go fuck him. Then go fuck him. I didn't tell him to go fuck him.
1259
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:05,520
So next time he waves, go fuck yourself. Go fuck Gary. Oh no, I'm Gary.
1260
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:11,120
Whatever your name is Gary from Gary Indiana. Right. Gary from Medford, Oregon.
1261
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:16,640
Gary. Gary. All right. Oh, I know I'm going to be Gary from Gary. It's got a bit of a couple of
1262
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:22,320
Gary. There probably is at least one Gary because people are dead. Gary. Gary's are dickheads. So I
1263
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:29,120
get it. All right. Last one, Alan. And this is from our friend Priya in Edison, New Jersey.
1264
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:37,120
Right. Yeah. It's Priya. That's right. That's right. Alan, my mom keeps telling me I need to marry
1265
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:44,000
someone stable. But the most emotionally available person I know is a local weatherman.
1266
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:50,640
How much should I really value mystery versus reliability?
1267
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:58,000
Well, great question. There is a pro and con to each one of them. The pro is
1268
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:07,040
is he reliable or is he not reliable? You know, so I would think that after you choose between
1269
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:12,880
one or the other, go fuck yourself. There you go. Ladies and gentlemen, and that successfully
1270
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:20,240
concludes another version of ask Alan anything where listeners get their questions answered.
1271
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:26,960
In a way. In a way. Well, I don't want to I don't want to over sell it, Alan. In a way, maybe.
1272
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:33,520
And that's great. Well, Fred, that brings us to one of our other favorite segments that we've
1273
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:40,240
sort of tried to do most of this year. And that is, oh, God, not him. Okay. Thank God.
1274
00:49:40,240 --> 00:49:46,080
So Fred, that brings us to whatever's going to happen next. Right?
1275
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:50,880
Adolino's who know red the next segment that we're going to do tonight is we got. Hey,
1276
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:56,000
how's it going? There he is.
1277
00:49:56,000 --> 00:50:04,800
Yeah, I'm. Yeah. Yeah.
1278
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:12,480
Yeah, well, big, you know, you want in hell is always.
1279
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:22,640
Fred. Yeah. Yeah. Look at him. I'm looking at me. You're supposed to hear downstairs drug logs. Yeah.
1280
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:32,400
You know what I mean? You're who take for. No, no, no, no, no, no. Keep your, keep your who in your pants,
1281
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:40,400
friend. Don't fall for sneaky waves. As a goal, do you know, I heard you guys have some guests last
1282
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:45,120
week. What's your name? Was I? Yeah, Artemis. Yeah. Yeah.
1283
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:46,120
Artemis. Yeah.
1284
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:50,400
I heard it from this. No, you know, Artemis. Oh, do you know? I know.
1285
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:56,880
You may have a casual understanding of each other. Yeah, I know.
1286
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,040
Artemis. All right.
1287
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:06,400
She she. This is. This is. Yeah. She she she.
1288
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:14,000
I just don't know. You know, I'm doing the better thing about the Middle East, you know, yeah.
1289
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:19,840
Getting my stock up. She's all, you know, you know, you know,
1290
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:24,480
Christmas, you know, right right around the corner. We know that. You know, my finger time.
1291
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:32,800
That's true. I did. It is. Yeah. I heard, uh, I heard the schoolwork day by last week too.
1292
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:37,840
It was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
1293
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:41,520
I don't know what he was talking about. I'm being honest with you, but that's okay.
1294
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:47,280
No, no, nobody really knows the schoolwork. Talking about, you know, because you know, he's from down there.
1295
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:51,360
Ha ha. You know, right? Exactly. Exactly.
1296
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:59,040
Anyway, I was wondering. Oh, do you have an ass gallon? Anything's hidden?
1297
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:04,400
What you're doing? We're getting you got an ass is we're trying to answer it to the best of our ability,
1298
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:10,720
but we'll make sure to include it. Can you ask down why Freddie is so sexy?
1299
00:52:10,720 --> 00:52:20,320
Oh my god. I can tell you the, oh my god. No. What the fuck is that? Oh my god. I don't know what that is. I don't like it.
1300
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:28,720
What? I don't know, Fred. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what happened on your screen, Fred, but I don't like it.
1301
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:35,520
Oh, I don't know. Anyway, I think there it is. See, I don't like that. What is that?
1302
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:43,680
Oh, that is, dude. I don't want to know whatever that looks like the weirdest evil is devil I've ever seen.
1303
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:48,160
What do you know? What is that?
1304
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:59,760
I don't know what that is. What about that?
1305
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:08,400
Stand and see. Yeah. Okay, well, let's get to stand.
1306
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:15,360
Since I don't know what is he, does he have some learning disabilities? Same. Well,
1307
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:19,360
because dad rides the show bus if you get my drift, right?
1308
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:21,600
Oh, you're so bad.
1309
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:29,840
I can see where, yeah, I can definitely tell you guys are related.
1310
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:38,160
Love you, brother. Love you, brother. I just have a little bit more ahead in staying in those different places.
1311
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:44,080
You know, it's really good to have sexy monsters. Right. What you're probably into that? So,
1312
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:49,680
all the stands, man, better of say devil pattern baldness.
1313
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:58,000
So, you get to get that from my dad. That's your impression.
1314
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:02,800
At least we can understand what he said.
1315
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:06,320
Oh, it's okay. You eventually start to understand what he said.
1316
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,880
Yeah, it's an accident. You have to pick up. It's the hell accident.
1317
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:14,560
He's from Southern hell.
1318
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:16,000
Oh, Southern hell.
1319
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,040
He's from Southern hell. So, you gotta understand a little bit.
1320
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:21,840
Yeah, there's a little bit. The jargon's a little different, honey.
1321
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:25,840
Yeah, yeah. It's a little bit slow, but he probably knows Artem is very well.
1322
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:31,280
Oh, okay, there you go.
1323
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:34,960
Yeah, Artemis is the baby service for the kids.
1324
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:38,460
You must digamos, Big Fat Fanny.
1325
00:54:38,460 --> 00:54:39,800
Yeah.
1326
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,300
What's your naughty, Manny?
1327
00:54:42,300 --> 00:54:44,980
Yeah, she was doing.
1328
00:54:44,980 --> 00:54:46,720
You've been around all the time?
1329
00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:49,120
She's got a read-nam's the rules and you're right.
1330
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:52,220
(Alas)
1331
00:54:52,220 --> 00:54:57,900
(Alas)
1332
00:54:57,900 --> 00:55:01,560
Oh, no, no, no...
1333
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:02,440
What's wrong?
1334
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:04,060
Yeah.
1335
00:55:04,060 --> 00:55:05,420
That was fun.
1336
00:55:05,420 --> 00:55:07,420
Yeah, I thought like a great time.
1337
00:55:07,420 --> 00:55:08,760
Yeah, that's cool.
1338
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:09,580
Yeah.
1339
00:55:09,580 --> 00:55:12,580
Oh, it's the worst part of this show.
1340
00:55:12,580 --> 00:55:13,380
Oh, dude.
1341
00:55:13,380 --> 00:55:14,380
Oh, man.
1342
00:55:14,380 --> 00:55:15,380
Yeah, I know.
1343
00:55:15,380 --> 00:55:16,380
Just swung it as I hate it.
1344
00:55:16,380 --> 00:55:17,880
Oh, this is what he's doing.
1345
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:20,280
I'm scared you need to come by anytime.
1346
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:22,880
You know, if I'm not here, you should come by and visit.
1347
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:23,880
She come by for a little bit.
1348
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:24,880
Oh, man.
1349
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,060
Oh, I don't know if I have a daughter,
1350
00:55:27,060 --> 00:55:29,360
or I don't know if I can stay on her.
1351
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,720
Oh, I don't know if I can stay on her or not.
1352
00:55:31,720 --> 00:55:33,560
I'm gonna pull those on her.
1353
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:35,560
Yeah, that's right, whatever you say.
1354
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:36,560
I don't know if I can do that.
1355
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:41,560
Then he said, "One person visits to permanently."
1356
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:42,560
Yeah.
1357
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:44,560
Don't be quite a party that day.
1358
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:47,060
What I understand is that I'm learning the dialect.
1359
00:55:47,060 --> 00:55:48,060
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1360
00:55:48,060 --> 00:55:49,060
Oh, you know, I don't know.
1361
00:55:49,060 --> 00:55:51,060
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
1362
00:55:51,060 --> 00:55:53,060
Stay in the club, pal.
1363
00:55:53,060 --> 00:55:54,560
Spongebob.
1364
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:55,560
Hey, stay.
1365
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:56,560
I got nothing.
1366
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:57,560
No, no, no, no, no.
1367
00:55:57,560 --> 00:55:59,560
You know, have you seen Freddy?
1368
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:02,560
He's one of the six of you looking rather funny right now.
1369
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:04,340
They might be more than Alan.
1370
00:56:04,340 --> 00:56:08,280
And I like to know you guys.
1371
00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:08,880
No no no no.
1372
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:09,280
He's got the sex and best friends.
1373
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:10,780
What are you talking about?
1374
00:56:10,780 --> 00:56:12,780
For his guy who's just...
1375
00:56:12,780 --> 00:56:13,780
You know what?
1376
00:56:13,780 --> 00:56:19,020
Well, I think I made all this bullshit but I know.
1377
00:56:19,020 --> 00:56:22,620
In fact, I was the first one to pick one up.
1378
00:56:22,620 --> 00:56:23,800
I don't know.
1379
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:26,780
(laughing)
1380
00:56:26,780 --> 00:56:33,780
(laughing)
1381
00:56:33,780 --> 00:56:36,780
(coughing)
1382
00:56:36,780 --> 00:56:40,780
(coughing)
1383
00:56:40,780 --> 00:56:41,780
Oh, no.
1384
00:56:41,780 --> 00:56:44,780
Merry Christmas for my family of years.
1385
00:56:44,780 --> 00:56:46,780
Oh, come back to the show.
1386
00:56:46,780 --> 00:56:47,780
Oh, my God.
1387
00:56:47,780 --> 00:56:49,780
We just like, I've been possessed.
1388
00:56:49,780 --> 00:56:52,780
Yes, I feel like you've all shown that.
1389
00:56:52,780 --> 00:56:54,780
No, I'm bleeding.
1390
00:56:54,780 --> 00:56:59,780
I'm very confused about whatever was just a lot of what was just that.
1391
00:56:59,780 --> 00:57:01,340
It was very confusing me.
1392
00:57:01,340 --> 00:57:04,340
Which so Fred, what we're gonna do though, we're just gonna brush that off.
1393
00:57:04,340 --> 00:57:05,340
Brush it off.
1394
00:57:05,340 --> 00:57:09,460
And we're gonna head on to the next segment, which is the one we were just about to do
1395
00:57:09,460 --> 00:57:11,460
when we were so early in our up.
1396
00:57:11,460 --> 00:57:12,460
By a good friend.
1397
00:57:12,460 --> 00:57:14,460
It's, we got jokes, Fred.
1398
00:57:14,460 --> 00:57:17,460
Oh, we got jokes, man.
1399
00:57:17,460 --> 00:57:18,460
How about you?
1400
00:57:18,460 --> 00:57:19,460
Do you want to go first?
1401
00:57:19,460 --> 00:57:20,460
You want to go first.
1402
00:57:20,460 --> 00:57:21,460
You go first.
1403
00:57:21,460 --> 00:57:22,460
All right.
1404
00:57:22,460 --> 00:57:23,460
Mine is more of a one-liner.
1405
00:57:23,460 --> 00:57:26,700
So, but maybe it's not even a one-liner.
1406
00:57:26,700 --> 00:57:28,020
Maybe, I don't know, let's make it a joke.
1407
00:57:28,020 --> 00:57:35,460
Fred, have you heard about the new craze of smart bidets?
1408
00:57:35,460 --> 00:57:36,460
No.
1409
00:57:36,460 --> 00:57:41,300
No, you know what a bidet is, right, Fred?
1410
00:57:41,300 --> 00:57:42,300
I do.
1411
00:57:42,300 --> 00:57:43,300
I have one.
1412
00:57:43,300 --> 00:57:45,340
He actually does know about one.
1413
00:57:45,340 --> 00:57:46,900
He has one.
1414
00:57:46,900 --> 00:57:51,380
Well, Fred, is it just me?
1415
00:57:51,380 --> 00:57:57,460
So, smart bidets are the bidet, the traditional bidet, which sprays water into your butt crack.
1416
00:57:57,460 --> 00:57:58,460
Right.
1417
00:57:58,460 --> 00:58:02,620
However, these are enhanced with AI.
1418
00:58:02,620 --> 00:58:10,020
So, Fred, is it just me or our smart bidets just an excuse to force AI to take pictures
1419
00:58:10,020 --> 00:58:11,020
of your buttole?
1420
00:58:11,020 --> 00:58:12,020
[laughter]
1421
00:58:12,020 --> 00:58:19,020
Yeah, I would like to retire.
1422
00:58:19,020 --> 00:58:23,020
[laughter]
1423
00:58:23,020 --> 00:58:24,620
It hit for those guys toward the end.
1424
00:58:24,620 --> 00:58:25,620
It's fine.
1425
00:58:25,620 --> 00:58:26,620
It's good.
1426
00:58:26,620 --> 00:58:27,620
No, it's back.
1427
00:58:27,620 --> 00:58:28,620
All right.
1428
00:58:28,620 --> 00:58:29,620
Thunderous.
1429
00:58:29,620 --> 00:58:36,860
So, I went and played golf the other weekend.
1430
00:58:36,860 --> 00:58:37,860
No.
1431
00:58:37,860 --> 00:58:38,860
All right.
1432
00:58:38,860 --> 00:58:40,860
I was going for about four or five hours, you know.
1433
00:58:40,860 --> 00:58:47,140
Had a good round with me and the buddies and, you know, got a couple drinks and the ship.
1434
00:58:47,140 --> 00:58:50,140
I get home.
1435
00:58:50,140 --> 00:59:05,140
My wife is standing at the door asking me how my round went and why it only took like
1436
00:59:05,140 --> 00:59:10,220
six hours thinking that, you know, we must have sprinted through the course.
1437
00:59:10,220 --> 00:59:14,420
She said, "I should have stayed at the barn and had a couple more beers before I came
1438
00:59:14,420 --> 00:59:15,420
home."
1439
00:59:15,420 --> 00:59:21,620
And she said that I knew that she knew that I was tired, so she wanted me to just relax
1440
00:59:21,620 --> 00:59:23,580
and kick my feet up on the couch.
1441
00:59:23,580 --> 00:59:31,500
Don't worry about the dinner plans that we had that night.
1442
00:59:31,500 --> 00:59:40,700
And then she told me, he said, "Maybe after I'm taking nap and I wake up, maybe I should,
1443
00:59:40,700 --> 00:59:43,140
maybe we could try to part another hole."
1444
00:59:43,140 --> 00:59:44,140
Hey, now.
1445
00:59:44,140 --> 00:59:46,140
If you know what I mean.
1446
00:59:46,140 --> 00:59:48,140
[Laughter]
1447
00:59:48,140 --> 00:59:57,020
So I'm like, I'm like, what the hell is going on?
1448
00:59:57,020 --> 01:00:03,540
And the next thing I know, I feel a sharp pain across my feet.
1449
01:00:03,540 --> 01:00:12,420
I wake up and my wife's yelling at me telling me to get dressed so we could go to dinner.
1450
01:00:12,420 --> 01:00:17,180
I don't know.
1451
01:00:17,180 --> 01:00:19,260
I was dreaming, man.
1452
01:00:19,260 --> 01:00:20,260
Oh, okay.
1453
01:00:20,260 --> 01:00:23,660
I thought he was going to be a bunch of line.
1454
01:00:23,660 --> 01:00:26,660
Oh, there's your face.
1455
01:00:26,660 --> 01:00:28,660
Oh, yeah, right in my face.
1456
01:00:28,660 --> 01:00:29,660
Well, there you go, Fred.
1457
01:00:29,660 --> 01:00:32,420
I think you need to come up with a catchy punchline for that one.
1458
01:00:32,420 --> 01:00:33,420
I don't know.
1459
01:00:33,420 --> 01:00:36,420
I said, "I knew it must have made it was too good to be true."
1460
01:00:36,420 --> 01:00:39,060
I knew it was too good to be true.
1461
01:00:39,060 --> 01:00:46,060
And then I woke up and I couldn't find my pillow.
1462
01:00:46,060 --> 01:00:48,060
That's pretty much the big first pillow.
1463
01:00:48,060 --> 01:00:49,060
That's right.
1464
01:00:49,060 --> 01:00:50,060
All right.
1465
01:00:50,060 --> 01:00:52,540
Well, ladies and gentlemen, those aren't pillows.
1466
01:00:52,540 --> 01:00:55,300
The Thayer's humor for you.
1467
01:00:55,300 --> 01:00:57,300
There's the BLC's attempted humor.
1468
01:00:57,300 --> 01:00:58,300
[Laughter]
1469
01:00:58,300 --> 01:01:00,300
No, no, not like that.
1470
01:01:00,300 --> 01:01:01,300
[Laughter]
1471
01:01:01,300 --> 01:01:04,300
It's a hard knock fight.
1472
01:01:04,300 --> 01:01:05,300
It really is.
1473
01:01:05,300 --> 01:01:09,380
It's hard when you're dumb and even harder when you're us.
1474
01:01:09,380 --> 01:01:12,740
So, again, take that as you will.
1475
01:01:12,740 --> 01:01:18,380
Well, folks, we're so glad that we could be here for you on this the day of your daughter's
1476
01:01:18,380 --> 01:01:20,380
money, potentially.
1477
01:01:20,380 --> 01:01:21,380
Potentially.
1478
01:01:21,380 --> 01:01:23,020
And if it is, you know what?
1479
01:01:23,020 --> 01:01:24,020
I'm not.
1480
01:01:24,020 --> 01:01:25,020
You brought a kiss from the old BLC.
1481
01:01:25,020 --> 01:01:27,020
Yeah, right on the lips.
1482
01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:28,020
Right on the lips.
1483
01:01:28,020 --> 01:01:29,020
A little time.
1484
01:01:29,020 --> 01:01:30,020
A little time.
1485
01:01:30,020 --> 01:01:31,020
A peaceful amount of stuff.
1486
01:01:31,020 --> 01:01:32,020
[Laughter]
1487
01:01:32,020 --> 01:01:39,020
Well, we're trying to keep a class in your friend.
1488
01:01:39,020 --> 01:01:44,340
We are, like, we're soon to be forced to be a child-friendly podcast.
1489
01:01:44,340 --> 01:01:45,340
[Laughter]
1490
01:01:45,340 --> 01:01:47,340
Good luck, kids.
1491
01:01:47,340 --> 01:01:52,940
And if you're listening to us, did you found this on that advertisement we did?
1492
01:01:52,940 --> 01:01:53,940
Oh, my gosh.
1493
01:01:53,940 --> 01:01:56,620
That's a very terrible thing.
1494
01:01:56,620 --> 01:01:57,620
We're sorry.
1495
01:01:57,620 --> 01:01:59,140
I know this one's gonna happen.
1496
01:01:59,140 --> 01:02:00,140
It is.
1497
01:02:00,140 --> 01:02:01,140
It's gonna be.
1498
01:02:01,140 --> 01:02:05,020
So, there you go, ladies and gentlemen.
1499
01:02:05,020 --> 01:02:08,340
Can't wait until next week when we do all this again.
1500
01:02:08,340 --> 01:02:10,860
But next time, with...
1501
01:02:10,860 --> 01:02:11,860
Decapenated.
1502
01:02:11,860 --> 01:02:14,060
Maybe, I don't know.
1503
01:02:14,060 --> 01:02:15,060
I don't know, friend.
1504
01:02:15,060 --> 01:02:16,060
I can't tell anymore.
1505
01:02:16,060 --> 01:02:18,740
We'll be back next week.
1506
01:02:18,740 --> 01:02:19,740
Maybe.
1507
01:02:19,740 --> 01:02:20,740
Thanks everybody.
1508
01:02:20,740 --> 01:02:21,740
[Laughter]
1509
01:02:21,740 --> 01:02:23,820
I think I'll see you later.
1510
01:02:23,820 --> 01:02:24,820
I think I'll see you later.
1511
01:02:24,820 --> 01:02:25,820
We're out of here.
1512
01:02:25,820 --> 01:02:26,820
Bye-bye.
1513
01:02:26,820 --> 01:02:27,820
Bye-bye.
1514
01:02:27,820 --> 01:02:37,820
We are laughing.
1515
01:02:37,820 --> 01:02:41,660
We are very good friends.
1516
01:02:41,660 --> 01:02:45,660
Good vibes.
1517
01:02:45,660 --> 01:02:55,540
Sharing a special moment.
1518
01:02:55,540 --> 01:02:57,540
Just hang loose blood.
1519
01:02:57,540 --> 01:03:02,540
You're gonna catch up on the rebar on the meds.
1520
01:03:02,540 --> 01:03:05,540
[Laughter]
1521
01:03:05,540 --> 01:03:07,540
Oh, what a day.
1522
01:03:07,540 --> 01:03:10,540
Come home, what is it?
1523
01:03:10,540 --> 01:03:12,540
Will, thanks all folks.
1524
01:03:12,540 --> 01:03:14,540
I still love you, sir.
1525
01:03:14,540 --> 01:03:15,540
Baby.
1526
01:03:15,540 --> 01:03:16,540
God damn it.
1527
01:03:16,540 --> 01:03:18,540
You can't see God damn it.
1528
01:03:18,540 --> 01:03:19,540
I don't worry.
1529
01:03:19,540 --> 01:03:21,540
Nobody's listening anyway.
1530
01:03:21,540 --> 01:03:24,540
As you know, I'm a man of special needs.
1531
01:03:24,540 --> 01:03:25,540
Surely you can't be serious.
1532
01:03:25,540 --> 01:03:26,540
I am serious.
1533
01:03:26,540 --> 01:03:28,340
And don't call me sure.
1534
01:03:28,340 --> 01:03:38,340
[BLANK_AUDIO]