Are you ready to deck the halls with a side of laughter? Our latest podcast episode is not your typical Christmas story. We're serving up a festive brew that's part comedy, part chaos, and entirely entertaining. Imagine an elf on the shelf, but with a rebellious streak a mile wide. This isn't the cute, silent figure you're used to. Oh no, this elf has a bone to pick and isn't afraid to stir the pot, leaving behind a trail of gumdrop turds and zip-tied stuffed animals. You'll be both horrified and amused by the shenanigans that unfold. But that's not all. We take a detour through Westeros as we reminisce about the highs and lows of Game of Thrones. It's a conversation as spicy as a Dornish pepper, and you won't want to miss a beat. Plus, we introduce the mystery can challenge – it's like Russian roulette for your taste buds, and the suspense is palpable. If you're looking for a break from the traditional carols and stories, this is the podcast episode for you. We promise belly laughs, a touch of nostalgia, and a healthy dose of holiday spirit (with a twist). Tune in, pour yourself some eggnog, and let us entertain you with a Christmas episode like no other. Listen now and add some sparkle to your holiday playlist!
(00:00) Welcome to Black Lincoln Collective podcast. We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year
(05:27) Why can't you give the man a present? Fred? Yeah, you know what
(06:20) Are you into your little elfie ways all year round or is it just
(08:12) Elvin the shelf, what's your favorite, uh, Christmas prank
(10:14) So what's your favorite Christmas movie up on the shelf
(13:03) Fred: The last couple of seasons of Game of Thrones were trash
(15:35) Thousands of people are going to buy Tater mitts this weekend
(17:24) We got so many great sponsors today, you guys. I can't even tell you about it
(21:11) Blacklinking collective podcast will promote your business for money or for free
(26:15) It's time for the history of Christmas with Fred. We promised it for months
(31:33) The myth that Santa would give presents from his marketing team originates from 221 AD
(34:52) Julius Africanus dated Jesus's conception to march 25
(38:08) So, ladies and gentlemen, m that was the history Christmas episode
(38:52) Part one is brought to you by the International Tinsel consortium
(39:46) Management just announced Fred next week in a bid to redeem yourself
(41:53) The mystery can challenge is going to be live. I don't know if we have enough time
(45:07) No one else has tweeted about the mystery can drink challenge
(47:23) Fred's Christmas album will be released on Black Friday, Alan says
(48:59) Fred: What's the hot Christmas gift this year? Anybody
(52:56) White rice with butter to the moon, people. So invest now. Game over, man
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>> Speaker A: Fasten your seatbelt. It's going to be our
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bumpy night.
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>> Freddy: Alive.
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>> Parker: It's alive.
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>> Speaker A: It's alive.
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>> Parker: Welcome to the Black Lincoln Collective
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podcast.
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>> Freddy: We wish you a merry Christmas.
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We wish you a merry Christmas we
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wish you a merry Christmas and, uh, a
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happy new year
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bring to you and your
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Ken. We wish you a merry
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Christmas and a happy new
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year. Oh, uh, bring us some figuet
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pudding. Oh, uh, bring us some big.
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>> Speaker A: A black Lincoln
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collective podcast.
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>> Parker: Yes. Who is this?
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Okay, I
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don't know. I can't identify you.
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I don't believe in the elf on the shelf. I know Fred
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loves.
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>> Freddy: Uh, I got a bone to pick
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for yourself.
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>> Speaker A: I don't need to talk to you. Tell me no bone.
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You're talking about trying to be all cool.
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My friend b said I could come on the show and you guys
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will treat me right. And look at you, just talking shit to
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me.
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>> Parker: No, we're not talking shit.
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>> Freddy: You are fucking up my house,
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man.
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>> Parker: Coming in hot.
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>> Freddy: Toilet paper, my damn Christmas tree.
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No, um,
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gum drop turds all over the house, man.
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>> Speaker A: Okay, that's me. But
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all the other stuff is not me.
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Is I go to your house and I sit on the shelf,
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and while you guys go to work, I watch your
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wives take showers and sing Christmas.
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>> Freddy: You know what he did the other night?
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He took all my youngest son stuffed animals.
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Zip tied them together. And then when
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I woke up in the morning, he laying there with a book of
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matches next to the stuffed
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animals.
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>> Parker: You tried to set them on fire?
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>> Freddy: Come on.
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>> Speaker A: No.
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>> Freddy: Yeah.
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>> Speaker A: My face
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of an archivist.
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>> Parker: I feel like it kind of is, though.
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>> Freddy: Yes, it is.
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You look like my man from the stand.
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>> Speaker A: No, I would. Yeah,
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buddy, never burn your house
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down.
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>> Freddy: Which.
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>> Parker: Yeah. Yeah.
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>> Speaker A: Let me tell you what I need. I'm going to
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mute Freddie. Let me see if I can get
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Alan to mute Freddie.
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>> Parker: How did the elf on the shelf get all this power?
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>> Speaker A: Oh, B told me to come
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over and hang out.
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I went to B's house because he was doing his thing, you
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know, because he loves Christmas.
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>> Parker: He just told us that minutes ago
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he stopped in being so fucking awesome,
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man.
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>> Speaker A: Him and his big old cock that he leave.
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>> Parker: Why am I not surprised you guys are?
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Uh, he's my Buddy.
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>> Speaker A: But anyway, what Freddie doesn't know is
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he snores at night and he sleeps with his
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mouth open. And I pee in it
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all the time.
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>> Freddy: No, he can hear you.
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You going in the garbage disposal.
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>> Speaker A: I am not.
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>> Parker: What are you going to say to your kids if that happens, Fred? That's the
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problem?
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Are your kids like into the elf on the shelf, Fred?
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Or do they wake up every morning
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looking for them and shit?
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>> Speaker A: Mhm. Of course they do. I'm their best
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friend. They love me more than they love
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Freddie. Freddie thinks he's all cool
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and shit.
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>> Parker: I can tell you one thing though. Elf on the shelf.
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>> Speaker A: What's that?
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>> Parker: That, uh, Fred's kids may love him
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more, love you more than him. But
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no one loves Fred more than.
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>> Speaker A: Your old buddy's
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got the hot for him.
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I got a message from B.
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I'm.
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>> Freddy: Going to take a pair of knife and cover you with ketchup, stab
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you and let the kids see that when they wake up.
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See how they feel about you. Dean.
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>> Parker: It's not as funny as he is. What was your message
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from? Uh, your budy there, Elf?
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>> Speaker A: My message is. Let's see.
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Hold on, I got to get the paperwork for it.
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>> Parker: Um, hold on. Give them copy.
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>> Speaker A: Okay. All
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I want for Christmas
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is you, Freddie.
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That's what he said. He said to tell Freddie
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that's all he wants. Freddie.
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>> Parker: Why can't you give the man a present? Fred?
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Yeah, you know what? I don't want to know. So. Elf on the shelf.
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Let me ask you a question, buddy.
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>> Speaker A: Sure, Parker.
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>> Parker: Thank you for addressing me by my name. It kind of creeps me out that you
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know that, because it's not.
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I'm not going to argue with you on that.
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Uh, why do you
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get into such shenanigans?
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>> Speaker A: Uh, I don't, actually.
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I'm a nice guy. If you
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look at that picture where Freddie's got right now, he
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looks like he's got like a thing on top of his head.
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Like a shower curtain.
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Yeah.
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>> Parker: That's an excellent job of changing the changing.
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I just want to know, are you
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into your little elfie ways
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all year round or is it just like a
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bit that you do for the kids from
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whenever. When do you usually show up? Around like December
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1, right?
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>> Speaker A: Uh, yeah. Right around when that stupid Mariah
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Carey song shows up is
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when I show up.
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>> Parker: So m Mariah Carey birthed you then? Um.
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>> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I came out of her bosom.
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I was.
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>> Parker: Like, time to tear shit up.
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>> Speaker A: Yeah. I was like minding my
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own business. And then I heard this
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and I came out and I was like,
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hey. And then
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I go to people's houses and I try to help them, but
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they get mad at me. It's
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like people don't know how to decorate.
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Try to decorate for them and help them out
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and they don't like it.
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>> Parker: Would you care to respond to, uh, what Fred was telling
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us about where you zip tied all his children's
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prize possessions and was holding a
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lighter and a gasket or whatever?
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>> Speaker A: No, I had
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them all put together and I was going to put them
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away so they can be out of the way.
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That way he wouldn't fall.
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And Freddie, at night, he doesn't tell
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anybody, but he goes outside and
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he smokes cigarettes. I seen him. And he
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was using that lighter. Yes,
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he says, say no to tobacco and he
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smoked them. Camel light. Um,
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I took the lighter and I was putting the lighter,
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trying to get the lighter away from him,
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and that's what happened.
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>> Parker: Uh, okay, so a totally plausible reasoning.
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Oh, yes, sure.
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Well, elvin the shelf, what's your favorite, uh,
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Christmas prank? Or what's your favorite thing
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to help the kids with at Christmas time?
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>> Speaker A: Oh, my favorite thing to help.
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I do like taking craps on their stuff.
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I take dumps all over because I got to put them. That's my
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territory.
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>> Parker: Well, that way they get new stuff. That's the whole idea, right?
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>> Speaker A: Yes. And I love, the best part about it is
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messing with the kids, but the best part is messing with the parents
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that they don't know it. So when they're sleeping, I take
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poops in their ears and then they think they get
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a cold and they're like, uh oh, my
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throat is hurting and my ear is hurting.
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No, that's my
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poop.
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>> Parker: You pee in their mouth.
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>> Speaker A: Oh, yes, and I pee in their mouth. I'm
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like, it sounds like at the beginning
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of the snoop song, you know?
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>> Parker: Yeah, I can listen to him sing all day,
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Fred. Yeah. Maybe you should get him on our next Christmas
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album. Are you an alpha?
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>> Speaker A: I'll be like, rolling down the street,
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smoking, sipping on
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gin and juice, laid
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back with my mind and my money, and I'm peeing
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on your mouth.
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>> Parker: Oh, man, I love
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it. Elbow the job. What do you do after Christmas?
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>> Speaker A: Do you go on vacation with
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B's? Got a vacation house out in California.
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Uh, so he lets me use his house during vacation
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time, so I just go over there and hang out.
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>> Parker: Go ahead. What were you going to say? I'm sorry.
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>> Speaker A: He's got this big old statue of his cock out
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there.
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>> Parker: Devil's dick?
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>> Speaker A: Yeah, the devil's dick thing. And then sometimes about, he
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talks about going to the devil's tower and all that.
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>> Parker: Sure.
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>> Speaker A: He'S all right.
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>> Parker: So what's your favorite Christmas movie
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up on the shelf?
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>> Speaker A: Uh, my favorite Christmas movie.
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There's a few of them, but I
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think ah, the best one is, uh.
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Yeah, that one.
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>> Parker: That's your favorite.
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>> Speaker A: That one's my favorite one, yeah, that makes sense.
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Yeah.
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>> Parker: All the hallmark movies. Hallmark Christmases.
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>> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Hallmark Christmas. With Kurt
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Cobain and Kurt Cobain.
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Yeah. Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. Because I watch
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them in hell.
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I'm, ah, sorry.
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>> Parker: My favorite is good morning Christmas.
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>> Speaker A: Yes. With Candace Cameron and Kurt
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Cameron. Yeah.
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>> Parker: It'S pretty close. Allison Sweeney and Mark
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Belucas.
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>> Speaker A: Yeah.
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Shows some great Christmas movies that are.
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Jingle my bell, jingle my
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bell, jingle all the
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way
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and go and fuck yourself.
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>> Parker: Well, thank you again. Uh,
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I'm, um, floored that we were able to get a celebrity of your stature on the
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00:11:33,824 --> 00:11:34,282
show.
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00:11:34,416 --> 00:11:35,386
>> Speaker A: Thank you.
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>> Parker: I'm going to thank.
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00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:42,522
You know what? Honestly, elf on the show, you're welcome
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00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:43,370
anytime.
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>> Freddy: You'll
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fuck yourself, Freddie.
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>> Speaker A: I can do whatever I want because I'm the
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00:11:51,892 --> 00:11:53,310
elf on the shelf
251
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rolling down the street.
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00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:03,938
You thought I was going to say it?
253
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,540
>> Parker: I didn't know what you were going to do.
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00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:07,330
>> Speaker A: Look at Freddy.
255
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>> Parker: He hates him so much. I love
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the anger that you display toward this
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00:12:13,372 --> 00:12:16,262
poor little elf, Fred, who's just trying to make his way in the world.
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>> Speaker A: I'm a nice guy. I don't burn shit,
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mess with anybody's stuff.
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>> Parker: Well, see, that's the thing. He just almost does that stuff.
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>> Freddy: You look like a clan.
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>> Parker: Oh, no.
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>> Speaker A: Only in the summertime. Only
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in the summertime, the Red turns to white.
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>> Parker: Oh, my God.
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>> Speaker A: But anyway, all right,
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00:12:46,450 --> 00:12:48,094
because I got some work I got to do tonight.
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>> Parker: I'm sure you got a lot of work ahead of you.
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>> Speaker A: I'll be seeing you soon, Freddie. And make
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sure you close out when you
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sleep.
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>> Freddy: Get that?
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>> Speaker A: Yeah.
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So Freddie wakes up and he thinks he's like,
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oh, I'm sleeping on my stomach. And, um, I'm
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00:13:08,518 --> 00:13:09,210
coughing.
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>> Freddy: About to put that point ahead
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00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:15,690
up my butthole.
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>> Parker: What?
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>> Speaker A: Okay, now. Well, you know
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00:13:20,308 --> 00:13:22,590
what? Bye, elf.
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Bye bye.
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>> Parker: Bye bye, elf. That was weird.
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But that does bring up a lot of interesting questions
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00:13:35,156 --> 00:13:38,018
and a lot of good answers, Fred, about the elf on the
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00:13:38,024 --> 00:13:40,820
shelf. Because I don't believe, personally, in the elf on the
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00:13:41,910 --> 00:13:44,626
think that. I think it's a shill. I think it's just a
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00:13:44,648 --> 00:13:47,560
trick to get our children to
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shelf.
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00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:04,730
>> Freddy: Uh, season of Game of Thrones exploded.
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>> Parker: Yeah, well, like, the last couple of seasons of Game of Thrones,
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00:14:07,990 --> 00:14:10,794
honestly were trash, but the last one was a
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00:14:10,832 --> 00:14:13,706
big old steaming pile of it. That
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00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,574
was one of those shows. There's some shows that you hate, and you
295
00:14:16,612 --> 00:14:19,518
watch them so that you can hate them. You know what
296
00:14:19,524 --> 00:14:22,110
I'm saying? You watch it because, uh, you're like, I don't like this, man.
297
00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:25,214
But I'm going to watch it so that I know how much
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00:14:25,252 --> 00:14:28,142
I don't like it. Uh, and that's what Game of Thrones ended up being,
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00:14:28,196 --> 00:14:29,998
man, because I love Game of Thrones.
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00:14:30,094 --> 00:14:30,450
>> Freddy: Yeah.
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>> Parker: But by the end, I was like, I got to watch it. I got to watch it
302
00:14:33,304 --> 00:14:36,114
because I'm only really
303
00:14:36,152 --> 00:14:39,058
watching it so I can complain about it later because
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00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:40,380
it's so bad. Yeah.
305
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,254
>> Freddy: Uh, it was crazy. I was thinking
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00:14:43,292 --> 00:14:46,054
to myself when I was watching it, like, how they traveled so fast.
307
00:14:46,172 --> 00:14:46,550
Yeah.
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00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:49,478
>> Parker: Fast travel, man, all over the place. Uh, well, let me tell
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00:14:49,484 --> 00:14:52,426
you what I was thinking about the whole time, um, when I was watching Game
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00:14:52,448 --> 00:14:55,386
of Thrones, especially the last couple of seasons, is how do they
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00:14:55,408 --> 00:14:57,900
peel all those potatoes to feed everybody?
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00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:01,034
And you know what, Fred? I just got to tell you. Our
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00:15:01,072 --> 00:15:03,982
friends that eat. No, no. Our friends
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00:15:04,036 --> 00:15:06,814
over at Ronco have
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00:15:06,852 --> 00:15:09,566
created something that the people at Gabe of throats could have
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00:15:09,588 --> 00:15:12,202
used, and that is the tater
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00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:15,178
mitt, ladies and gentlemen. Are
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00:15:15,204 --> 00:15:17,698
you tired of having to peel potatoes by hand or with a
319
00:15:17,704 --> 00:15:20,526
peeler? How about you get Tater mitt,
320
00:15:20,718 --> 00:15:23,502
the greatest new invention ever? They're essentially
321
00:15:23,566 --> 00:15:26,534
dishwasher gloves with rocks glued to them. They
322
00:15:26,572 --> 00:15:29,266
are, but they'll peel them taters like no one's
323
00:15:29,298 --> 00:15:31,506
business. Tater mitts. Tater
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00:15:31,538 --> 00:15:34,294
mitts.com. Get them while you
325
00:15:34,332 --> 00:15:34,920
can.
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00:15:35,690 --> 00:15:38,294
All right. But in other news.
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00:15:38,492 --> 00:15:41,434
Sorry, I told you, we're laced with all
328
00:15:41,472 --> 00:15:44,266
kinds of advertisement this week. The
329
00:15:44,288 --> 00:15:47,174
sales team is killing it, man. They're killing it. So, Tater
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00:15:47,222 --> 00:15:50,066
Mitts, uh, I just love the name Tater mitts. Even if Tater
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00:15:50,118 --> 00:15:52,846
Mitts didn't pay us six to seven figures to
332
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,774
advertise their mitts, I would still
333
00:15:55,812 --> 00:15:58,554
advertise them just as loyally, because Tater
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00:15:58,602 --> 00:16:00,720
mitts. Come on, man.
335
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:04,990
You don't want to peel them potatoes. Tater mitts,
336
00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:09,006
you can peel other stuff, too, maybe. Don't quote
337
00:16:09,038 --> 00:16:12,034
me on that. I can't. Well, see, that's what's going to happen is where the people
338
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:15,026
are going to buy them en masse. Thousands of people
339
00:16:15,048 --> 00:16:17,930
are going to buy Tater mitts this weekend. This Monday.
340
00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:20,758
Ah. Hey, Monday. Off to a bad start. You know how to fix it. Pair of
341
00:16:20,764 --> 00:16:23,000
Tater mitts. Hey,
342
00:16:23,370 --> 00:16:26,294
don't you hate things? Tater mitts love
343
00:16:26,332 --> 00:16:28,760
you, so use them for things.
344
00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:33,322
But no, you just wait, man. Tater Mitts is going to blow up
345
00:16:33,376 --> 00:16:36,266
again because of us. And then people are going to be like,
346
00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:38,442
oh, Fred said I could peel carrots with it.
347
00:16:38,496 --> 00:16:41,066
Lawsuit. So let's not do
348
00:16:41,088 --> 00:16:43,946
that. We've had too many. I just
349
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:46,906
can't deal with it. It's too much. But no, do the Tater
350
00:16:46,938 --> 00:16:49,806
mitts for sure. Here's what's going to happen. People are going to be like, oh,
351
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:52,314
they're going to tweet us at the BLC world, at Twitter
352
00:16:52,362 --> 00:16:54,574
comb, and they're going to say,
353
00:16:54,612 --> 00:16:57,506
fred, I've used the Tater mitts, and I
354
00:16:57,528 --> 00:17:00,180
cut my own finger off because the Tater mitts are so strong.
355
00:17:00,710 --> 00:17:03,486
Lawsuit. Lawsuit.
356
00:17:03,678 --> 00:17:06,594
Lawsuit. It's happening. Be ready
357
00:17:06,632 --> 00:17:09,586
for that. But seriously, the. Huh? People with tater meds, greatest
358
00:17:09,618 --> 00:17:12,486
people in the world. Will
359
00:17:12,508 --> 00:17:15,446
Tater mitts cure cancer? Uh, no one knows for
360
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:18,200
sure, but it hasn't caused any yet.
361
00:17:18,890 --> 00:17:21,846
That's pretty good. Like, m. Come on, man, sell it,
362
00:17:21,868 --> 00:17:23,240
baby. Tater miss it.
363
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,938
We got so many great sponsors today, you guys. I can't even tell you
364
00:17:26,944 --> 00:17:28,860
about it. Can't even go on.
365
00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:33,882
Totally stop, um, the show, because Tater miss again.
366
00:17:33,936 --> 00:17:36,480
I just can't help but say it. It's so great to say,
367
00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:39,594
hashtag, everybody tweet us at hashtag tater
368
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:40,430
bits.
369
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:44,510
And we will give away a free pair.
370
00:17:44,590 --> 00:17:45,726
>> Freddy: A free pair.
371
00:17:45,918 --> 00:17:48,500
>> Parker: I will use the free pair that they gave us.
372
00:17:49,990 --> 00:17:52,834
They gave us one pair of tater bits and then a check
373
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,826
for $7 million. And I was like, how about
374
00:17:55,848 --> 00:17:58,834
two pairs of tater bits and no money? And they're like, no deal. These
375
00:17:58,872 --> 00:18:01,766
are worth more than the $7 million. And then
376
00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:04,694
I said, I can get them for, uh, a measly, like,
377
00:18:04,732 --> 00:18:07,126
1999. You're not going to find a better deal for
378
00:18:07,148 --> 00:18:09,190
taters, Fred.
379
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:12,954
Now, if you were in the army, hey, he'd be real
380
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,450
happy about that. They still do that in the army,
381
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,506
filling potatoes? Yeah, that was, like, the
382
00:18:18,528 --> 00:18:21,306
thing every army movie I ever watched, uh, it was just
383
00:18:21,328 --> 00:18:24,286
like, hey, you did something dumb. Peel taters. Get in there and
384
00:18:24,308 --> 00:18:26,958
peel them taters. See? And now that's what, back then, it was a
385
00:18:26,964 --> 00:18:29,514
punishment, but now the smart
386
00:18:29,562 --> 00:18:32,502
private is like, oh, got my tater mints.
387
00:18:32,586 --> 00:18:35,426
Bam. All the taters are
388
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,306
field. Back to business. Back to
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00:18:38,328 --> 00:18:40,260
shooting indigenous children.
390
00:18:40,710 --> 00:18:42,510
Hooray. Oh, my God.
391
00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:47,350
Uh,
392
00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:50,198
Tater mitts are the greatest adventures ever. Let me just tell you that
393
00:18:50,284 --> 00:18:52,534
if they had a kickstarter, I would fund it myself.
394
00:18:52,652 --> 00:18:53,270
>> Freddy: Oh, my God.
395
00:18:53,270 --> 00:18:54,840
>> Parker: Uh, my tater bit money.
396
00:19:00,410 --> 00:19:03,258
But I do wonder, though, I wonder if that's still a thing in the
397
00:19:03,264 --> 00:19:06,234
army, because it seems like I feel like that was a big
398
00:19:06,272 --> 00:19:08,586
part of every army movie I ever saw.
399
00:19:08,688 --> 00:19:10,842
>> Freddy: Yeah, that's like old one. Yeah.
400
00:19:10,976 --> 00:19:13,174
>> Parker: Like go over a pile, go peel them potatoes.
401
00:19:13,222 --> 00:19:13,434
>> Freddy: Yeah.
402
00:19:13,472 --> 00:19:16,414
>> Parker: They sit down a high
403
00:19:16,452 --> 00:19:17,150
stool,
404
00:19:18,770 --> 00:19:21,758
potatoes everywhere. And there's like one. I
405
00:19:21,764 --> 00:19:24,286
love it, man. So classic, right?
406
00:19:24,468 --> 00:19:27,282
See, that's the thing. And that's what, it's kind of funny because I wonder
407
00:19:27,336 --> 00:19:30,226
if I kind of feel like all those
408
00:19:30,248 --> 00:19:33,234
things that were like classic gags back in the day should
409
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:36,254
have just stuck around. Uh, it should have just stayed,
410
00:19:36,302 --> 00:19:39,294
like, slipping on a banana peel. No one slips, um, on banana peels anymore,
411
00:19:39,342 --> 00:19:40,978
right. But you should be able to slip.
412
00:19:40,994 --> 00:19:43,366
>> Freddy: On and you can a big thing.
413
00:19:43,468 --> 00:19:46,280
>> Parker: But that was all the time I worried about that when I was a kid, man.
414
00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:49,000
There should be banana peels all over the world.
415
00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,206
>> Freddy: It was going to be a real thing.
416
00:19:51,308 --> 00:19:54,218
>> Parker: Yeah. And like rakes that I'm going to step on and they're going to hit
417
00:19:54,224 --> 00:19:57,066
me in the face. I used to think that was going to happen all
418
00:19:57,088 --> 00:19:59,562
the time, but it never, very rarely does.
419
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:02,458
>> Freddy: Let me just say that I remember testing the theory out when I
420
00:20:02,464 --> 00:20:05,306
was younger. Like, I eat a banana and put it on the floor
421
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,398
and then try.
422
00:20:06,404 --> 00:20:09,278
>> Parker: To step on it, and it's hard. It's hard to
423
00:20:09,284 --> 00:20:11,518
do that. But I realized if you put the
424
00:20:11,524 --> 00:20:13,918
banana, I guess, inside
425
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,642
down the inside of the bana, very
426
00:20:16,696 --> 00:20:17,278
slippery.
427
00:20:17,374 --> 00:20:17,730
>> Freddy: Right.
428
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,402
>> Parker: The outside is not because it's rubberized. For your
429
00:20:20,456 --> 00:20:22,978
protection or whatever.
430
00:20:23,064 --> 00:20:24,210
Banana knife
431
00:20:25,770 --> 00:20:27,350
sponsored by bananas
432
00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:31,074
need something yellow and peanut
433
00:20:31,122 --> 00:20:33,270
shape. Get a banana.
434
00:20:34,170 --> 00:20:36,680
Bananas love them.
435
00:20:37,710 --> 00:20:40,646
Hey, bananas grow on trees, but that doesn't
436
00:20:40,678 --> 00:20:41,900
mean that they're free
437
00:20:42,830 --> 00:20:44,378
bananas each.
438
00:20:44,464 --> 00:20:47,370
>> Freddy: They'Re full of fiber and they'll fit insider.
439
00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:54,430
>> Parker: Oh, bananas,
440
00:20:55,810 --> 00:20:58,446
bananas putting the ass in
441
00:20:58,468 --> 00:20:59,390
potassium
442
00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:02,926
terrible. So yeah,
443
00:21:02,948 --> 00:21:05,086
we're going to have the
444
00:21:05,108 --> 00:21:07,306
banana. The banana
445
00:21:07,338 --> 00:21:09,806
legion is going to be up our rear
446
00:21:09,838 --> 00:21:11,794
ends next week.
447
00:21:11,832 --> 00:21:13,970
I think my chair broke.
448
00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:17,380
Broken chair strikes again,
449
00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:20,886
ladies and gentlemen. I'm so glad it's not me this time, but it could be
450
00:21:20,908 --> 00:21:23,618
me any minutes. I'm not going to say anything. That's one thing I've
451
00:21:23,634 --> 00:21:25,190
learned, hubris.
452
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:29,286
It's a real thing, ladies and gentlemen. As soon as you
453
00:21:29,308 --> 00:21:31,834
come out and you're like, I'm against this thing or this thing is
454
00:21:31,872 --> 00:21:34,586
dumb, guess what? This thing is happening to
455
00:21:34,608 --> 00:21:37,366
you. Which is why I am against millionaires
456
00:21:37,478 --> 00:21:40,234
and I'm against people sending me random sums of money for
457
00:21:40,272 --> 00:21:43,066
nothing. I hate it and I'm against it, and I'll
458
00:21:43,098 --> 00:21:44,270
never let it happen to me.
459
00:21:44,340 --> 00:21:45,854
>> Freddy: Never want it, never.
460
00:21:46,052 --> 00:21:48,906
>> Parker: Venmo us at blacklinking collective dollar
461
00:21:48,938 --> 00:21:51,902
sign. Blacklinking collective podcast. Never
462
00:21:51,956 --> 00:21:54,890
venmo us millions of dollars. I'll be so mad at
463
00:21:54,900 --> 00:21:57,826
you if you do. I'll come back on here next
464
00:21:57,848 --> 00:22:00,722
week with my solid gold microphone and tell you how mad I am about
465
00:22:00,776 --> 00:22:02,500
it, damn it.
466
00:22:03,830 --> 00:22:06,738
From my jet. My jet studio that flies around the
467
00:22:06,744 --> 00:22:09,638
world. It's like that rocket China created. We're going to have
468
00:22:09,644 --> 00:22:12,582
the black Lincoln studio rocket. We just shoot around the world
469
00:22:12,636 --> 00:22:15,558
while we do our podcast. And then we landed at
470
00:22:15,564 --> 00:22:17,990
a Taco bell drive in somewhere in the midwest.
471
00:22:19,050 --> 00:22:21,794
Every time we're like, hey, we're in Alabama,
472
00:22:21,842 --> 00:22:24,710
Taco Bell. What's up, guys? Well, you
473
00:22:24,780 --> 00:22:27,020
rode in on a rocket. We don't like you here.
474
00:22:27,950 --> 00:22:30,220
We don't like rocket powered people.
475
00:22:33,470 --> 00:22:34,746
>> Freddy: Oh, my God. Uh, no.
476
00:22:34,768 --> 00:22:37,758
>> Parker: That is something we're going to do, though, and we will do that. If you're, um, a
477
00:22:37,764 --> 00:22:40,654
business owner or someone who cares about a business, just
478
00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:43,374
drop us a line and we will promote your business.
479
00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:46,334
For money or for free, probably as well.
480
00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:49,298
It depends on what the business is. If it's got a great name
481
00:22:49,464 --> 00:22:52,306
like Tater Mitt, I'm going to be honest with you. We'll do it
482
00:22:52,328 --> 00:22:55,326
for free. If you own, like, a lawn
483
00:22:55,358 --> 00:22:57,700
care business and it's called, like, lawn and order
484
00:22:58,230 --> 00:23:00,994
or anything like that. You, uh, sold me,
485
00:23:01,032 --> 00:23:04,006
man. Uh, okay. And this is probably just the
486
00:23:04,028 --> 00:23:06,886
idiot in me, because we all have a little bit of idiot in us sometimes,
487
00:23:07,068 --> 00:23:09,898
but I will absolutely pick a
488
00:23:09,904 --> 00:23:12,586
gimmick name business over a legitimate. Like, if it's like
489
00:23:12,608 --> 00:23:15,446
Wilkinson's hardware, uh, all right. But if it's
490
00:23:15,478 --> 00:23:18,474
like, hammer time hardware accessories, I'm like, oh,
491
00:23:18,512 --> 00:23:21,210
hammer time. Let's go. These guys
492
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,218
get me. Yeah, I couldn't think of a
493
00:23:24,224 --> 00:23:26,880
good name, so I went, hammer time. We've been there.
494
00:23:28,770 --> 00:23:31,738
It's crazy because I don't know if it's just me being an idiot
495
00:23:31,754 --> 00:23:34,446
or a kid. And I know that the people who are like
496
00:23:34,548 --> 00:23:36,880
Davis and sons, whatever,
497
00:23:37,510 --> 00:23:40,098
they've probably been around 100 years, whereas, like I
498
00:23:40,104 --> 00:23:43,038
said, lawn and order just opened
499
00:23:43,054 --> 00:23:44,690
last week and they're closing tomorrow.
500
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:45,500
>> Freddy: Uh, uh.
501
00:23:47,190 --> 00:23:50,098
>> Parker: Yeah. Uh, so that's what I do. That's
502
00:23:50,114 --> 00:23:52,774
just me. So if you have a funny name business,
503
00:23:52,972 --> 00:23:54,694
just call us and send me
504
00:23:54,732 --> 00:23:57,526
information@blc.com. Or without world. I don't even
505
00:23:57,548 --> 00:24:00,386
remember our stuff anymore. Twitter.com slash BLC
506
00:24:00,418 --> 00:24:00,866
world.
507
00:24:00,988 --> 00:24:03,898
>> Freddy: Or somewhere else.
508
00:24:04,064 --> 00:24:06,954
>> Parker: How about that? Somewhere else. Or
509
00:24:06,992 --> 00:24:08,186
anywhere else. Call me.
510
00:24:08,208 --> 00:24:08,890
>> Freddy: Facebook.
511
00:24:09,310 --> 00:24:10,874
>> Parker: Call me a friend's number.
512
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,740
>> Freddy: Uh, eight six four M 5309.
513
00:24:15,230 --> 00:24:18,158
>> Parker: I was going to beep it out. I should have actually given it. I'm not
514
00:24:18,164 --> 00:24:21,054
going to do that because I probably will forget to beep it out.
515
00:24:21,252 --> 00:24:23,746
The thousands of calls. I mean, did you hear the
516
00:24:23,768 --> 00:24:26,354
number? I did. Seven oh eight.
517
00:24:26,472 --> 00:24:28,500
No, he gave out your number.
518
00:24:31,510 --> 00:24:34,386
Call Fred at 867-5309 ask for
519
00:24:34,408 --> 00:24:37,058
Jenny. He would have been
520
00:24:37,064 --> 00:24:39,606
like, stop the show. Hold
521
00:24:39,628 --> 00:24:42,614
on. Oh, the calls are coming in already. That's what
522
00:24:42,652 --> 00:24:45,622
happens when you are listening to us live and
523
00:24:45,676 --> 00:24:48,274
recorded Monday
524
00:24:48,322 --> 00:24:51,106
morning and Friday morning, 10:00 a.m.. Eastern,
525
00:24:51,138 --> 00:24:54,038
07:00 a.m.. Pacific, Freedom gay radio. We're going to
526
00:24:54,044 --> 00:24:56,760
take a quick break, and we will be right back with, uh,
527
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,186
second or third half of the blacklink and collective
528
00:24:59,218 --> 00:24:59,910
podcast.
529
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:27,560
>> Freddy: Not a tumor at all.
530
00:25:29,850 --> 00:25:32,678
>> Parker: Activate your scopes. Radio contact. Serve as a
531
00:25:32,684 --> 00:25:35,510
voice here. Human. Yes, sir. Sounds like it
532
00:25:35,580 --> 00:25:36,390
boosted.
533
00:25:50,450 --> 00:25:51,200
>> Speaker A: Eight.
534
00:25:54,290 --> 00:25:55,920
We wasn't. You
535
00:25:57,490 --> 00:25:59,982
wasn't one day in
536
00:26:00,036 --> 00:26:01,070
blackout.
537
00:26:15,370 --> 00:26:18,310
>> Parker: To the second half of the Black Lincoln collective podcast.
538
00:26:18,650 --> 00:26:21,542
We are back and better than ever. And we have got a special
539
00:26:21,596 --> 00:26:24,438
treat for you, ladies and gentlemen. It's finally
540
00:26:24,524 --> 00:26:27,506
time. We promised it for
541
00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:30,170
months and months and weeks and days and hours
542
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,780
even. It's time for
543
00:26:33,710 --> 00:26:36,330
the history of Christmas with Fred.
544
00:26:38,590 --> 00:26:39,820
>> Freddy: Christmas time.
545
00:26:42,130 --> 00:26:44,880
The year was,
546
00:26:46,230 --> 00:26:48,110
uh, ad or bc.
547
00:26:49,970 --> 00:26:52,480
In between, in the middle,
548
00:26:54,130 --> 00:26:56,658
a star in the north shine in the
549
00:26:56,664 --> 00:26:59,502
sky. Uh, three wise
550
00:26:59,566 --> 00:27:02,530
men herding sheep
551
00:27:03,110 --> 00:27:05,958
in a nearby field seen the star,
552
00:27:06,044 --> 00:27:08,854
and they said, hey, man, let's follow that
553
00:27:08,892 --> 00:27:11,794
thing. Wise
554
00:27:11,842 --> 00:27:14,470
men gathered
555
00:27:16,250 --> 00:27:17,880
and followed the star.
556
00:27:18,250 --> 00:27:20,646
Uh, never catching up to it.
557
00:27:20,748 --> 00:27:23,306
>> Parker: I might ask. Stars of the
558
00:27:23,328 --> 00:27:24,010
sky.
559
00:27:25,870 --> 00:27:28,826
>> Freddy: When they got tired, they came to an
560
00:27:28,848 --> 00:27:31,806
end, and there was a lady there, and
561
00:27:31,828 --> 00:27:34,766
she was giving birth to a baby in a
562
00:27:34,788 --> 00:27:36,926
barn next to
563
00:27:36,948 --> 00:27:39,010
cows. Uh,
564
00:27:39,890 --> 00:27:42,858
now, this lady's name was Mary. She
565
00:27:42,884 --> 00:27:44,610
had a husband named Joseph.
566
00:27:45,110 --> 00:27:48,098
>> Parker: I could hear the man. You are a great story. You're taking me there. I
567
00:27:48,104 --> 00:27:49,570
could hear the barn animals.
568
00:27:52,070 --> 00:27:55,006
>> Freddy: The wise men said, what you
569
00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:57,030
got? Give this baby
570
00:27:58,250 --> 00:28:01,160
what you got. One said, I've got
571
00:28:01,530 --> 00:28:03,880
myrrh. What is
572
00:28:07,210 --> 00:28:08,880
Bill Murray is made of?
573
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,242
>> Parker: Uh, Fred's freaky packs.
574
00:28:10,306 --> 00:28:12,822
>> Freddy: It's murder at the beginning. Uh, of Bill Murray.
575
00:28:12,966 --> 00:28:13,978
>> Parker: Oh, okay, that makes sense.
576
00:28:13,984 --> 00:28:15,690
>> Freddy: He gave the lady the myrrh.
577
00:28:16,270 --> 00:28:17,718
>> Parker: He's part of Bill Murray.
578
00:28:17,814 --> 00:28:20,490
>> Freddy: Another guy, the other wise bid,
579
00:28:21,170 --> 00:28:24,158
he gave, like, zinc or
580
00:28:24,164 --> 00:28:26,942
something. Uh, the third
581
00:28:26,996 --> 00:28:29,440
wise man said, y'all ain't got nothing good.
582
00:28:29,810 --> 00:28:31,390
Get some of this gold.
583
00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:35,474
>> Parker: Gold and frankincense. It was. Frankincense is the other one.
584
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:36,866
>> Freddy: That baby will grow.
585
00:28:36,968 --> 00:28:38,210
>> Parker: Did you say zinc?
586
00:28:41,110 --> 00:28:41,922
I think he did.
587
00:28:41,976 --> 00:28:44,674
>> Freddy: That baby will grow up to
588
00:28:44,712 --> 00:28:47,286
be in some people's eyes. The savior of the
589
00:28:47,308 --> 00:28:47,880
world.
590
00:28:49,690 --> 00:28:50,486
>> Parker: Wait.
591
00:28:50,668 --> 00:28:52,742
>> Freddy: Let's go back to zinc. Did you say.
592
00:28:52,796 --> 00:28:54,374
>> Parker: Hold on. Where did you think he gave him?
593
00:28:54,412 --> 00:28:55,810
>> Freddy: Hold on, man. We passed zinc.
594
00:28:55,890 --> 00:28:58,040
>> Parker: No, we're not passing zinc is me.
595
00:28:58,670 --> 00:29:00,810
We're still in the m's. Um, we're still a mer.
596
00:29:01,470 --> 00:29:03,900
Mer is a reddish resin, by the way.
597
00:29:04,590 --> 00:29:05,994
So there you go.
598
00:29:06,032 --> 00:29:07,290
>> Freddy: There you go. And it's.
599
00:29:08,350 --> 00:29:11,246
>> Parker: My baby grew up to be
600
00:29:11,268 --> 00:29:11,406
the.
601
00:29:11,428 --> 00:29:12,640
>> Freddy: Savior of the world.
602
00:29:13,090 --> 00:29:14,720
>> Parker: That baby's name was
603
00:29:16,050 --> 00:29:18,510
Jesus. Steve
604
00:29:19,650 --> 00:29:20,990
Elon Musk.
605
00:29:23,170 --> 00:29:25,554
Hold on. Retake that. That baby's name
606
00:29:25,592 --> 00:29:26,180
was,
607
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,450
uh, Taterman.
608
00:29:35,450 --> 00:29:37,494
So Jesus was born in the end.
609
00:29:37,612 --> 00:29:39,110
>> Freddy: Now we celebrate,
610
00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:43,282
which was started as the winter solstice
611
00:29:43,346 --> 00:29:46,162
festival. Christmas.
612
00:29:46,306 --> 00:29:47,800
Christ must.
613
00:29:48,330 --> 00:29:49,480
>> Parker: That's the history.
614
00:29:50,730 --> 00:29:51,766
>> Freddy: He must.
615
00:29:51,948 --> 00:29:54,726
>> Parker: We're going to get a history of, like, this is when they started using Christmas
616
00:29:54,758 --> 00:29:57,542
trees. Not like, this is when Jesus
617
00:29:57,606 --> 00:29:58,220
was.
618
00:30:01,410 --> 00:30:04,220
>> Freddy: We get the word Christmas, uh,
619
00:30:04,220 --> 00:30:06,720
or the first celebration of it
620
00:30:08,610 --> 00:30:10,720
from a man by the name of.
621
00:30:11,570 --> 00:30:12,320
Sorry.
622
00:30:13,210 --> 00:30:16,058
>> Parker: Uh, oh. Kind of like how. Like the
623
00:30:16,084 --> 00:30:18,958
Super bowl. The first three super bowls
624
00:30:18,974 --> 00:30:21,794
weren't called the Super bowl at the time. They were called, like, the
625
00:30:21,832 --> 00:30:24,754
national football league championship game, and then they went
626
00:30:24,792 --> 00:30:26,658
renamed in the Super bowl afterwards.
627
00:30:26,834 --> 00:30:28,870
>> Freddy: The man's name was Sextus.
628
00:30:29,450 --> 00:30:31,110
Sextus Julius
629
00:30:32,090 --> 00:30:34,920
Africanus. I don't remember the story
630
00:30:35,770 --> 00:30:38,402
because this is the true. This is the truth,
631
00:30:38,466 --> 00:30:41,466
the true meaning of Christmas. Forget what
632
00:30:41,488 --> 00:30:44,266
you heard. If you knew the things that I knew,
633
00:30:44,368 --> 00:30:47,306
your mind would melt and the brains would
634
00:30:47,328 --> 00:30:49,786
come out of your ears. If you knew what I
635
00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:52,058
knew about
636
00:30:52,144 --> 00:30:54,830
Texas, about Christ. Uh,
637
00:30:55,010 --> 00:30:56,350
Africanus.
638
00:30:57,730 --> 00:30:58,654
In 2021, 22,
639
00:30:58,692 --> 00:31:01,920
one.
640
00:31:03,190 --> 00:31:04,900
The year, two, one, one.
641
00:31:06,470 --> 00:31:07,218
>> Parker: Right.
642
00:31:07,384 --> 00:31:10,354
>> Freddy: It became universally accepted after that
643
00:31:10,392 --> 00:31:12,882
day, that December 25. Even
644
00:31:12,936 --> 00:31:15,826
though the star shines in
645
00:31:15,848 --> 00:31:18,610
the north, uh, and summer
646
00:31:18,770 --> 00:31:21,160
in that area of the world,
647
00:31:21,770 --> 00:31:24,486
we celebrate it in time.
648
00:31:24,668 --> 00:31:25,400
Right?
649
00:31:26,170 --> 00:31:28,066
>> Parker: Because Santa Claus.
650
00:31:28,258 --> 00:31:31,010
>> Freddy: Santa Claus. Don't know about
651
00:31:31,100 --> 00:31:32,810
Claus. St. Nicholas.
652
00:31:33,470 --> 00:31:35,370
Okay. Arturo
653
00:31:35,790 --> 00:31:36,726
Goriate.
654
00:31:36,838 --> 00:31:39,658
>> Parker: This is the weirdest. Damn, uh, I've heard a
655
00:31:39,664 --> 00:31:42,494
lot Christmas stories. M. This
656
00:31:42,532 --> 00:31:43,406
is one of them.
657
00:31:43,508 --> 00:31:44,362
>> Freddy: He was born.
658
00:31:44,426 --> 00:31:46,830
>> Parker: Wait a minute. Wait. A tourist.
659
00:31:47,810 --> 00:31:49,230
>> Freddy: Gottio tape.
660
00:31:49,730 --> 00:31:50,910
>> Parker: Santa Claus.
661
00:31:52,130 --> 00:31:54,590
>> Freddy: You know him as Santa M.
662
00:31:54,950 --> 00:31:56,260
We call him art.
663
00:31:57,750 --> 00:31:59,620
>> Parker: Where's Art with my Christmas present?
664
00:32:03,270 --> 00:32:05,006
Art's jumping in chimneys again.
665
00:32:05,128 --> 00:32:08,038
>> Freddy: The myth that he would
666
00:32:08,204 --> 00:32:09,990
give presents
667
00:32:12,170 --> 00:32:14,920
from his marketing team is where that came from.
668
00:32:15,930 --> 00:32:18,470
He's got a whole team, those elves.
669
00:32:18,630 --> 00:32:20,380
>> Parker: A lot of marketing back in the.
670
00:32:22,510 --> 00:32:23,740
What year was this?
671
00:32:26,510 --> 00:32:29,450
221. Ad. 221. Ad?
672
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:30,186
>> Freddy: Yes, Ad.
673
00:32:30,288 --> 00:32:33,274
>> Parker: His marketing team was an odomina.
674
00:32:33,322 --> 00:32:36,030
That means a year of our lord. That's what Ad
675
00:32:36,100 --> 00:32:36,670
means.
676
00:32:36,820 --> 00:32:39,390
>> Freddy: I'm telling you, he was down with the Jews.
677
00:32:43,110 --> 00:32:44,530
Egyptian Jews.
678
00:32:46,710 --> 00:32:49,694
Yes. I'm telling you, they smart with a tablet
679
00:32:49,742 --> 00:32:50,610
and chisel.
680
00:32:51,910 --> 00:32:52,978
>> Parker: It's too big.
681
00:32:53,064 --> 00:32:54,978
>> Freddy: They will write up a document that.
682
00:32:55,064 --> 00:32:57,658
>> Parker: What's with the pharaoh need that 45 foot fault
683
00:32:57,694 --> 00:32:58,210
statue?
684
00:32:58,290 --> 00:32:59,800
>> Freddy: Don't worry about that.
685
00:33:00,890 --> 00:33:03,510
>> Parker: I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about art.
686
00:33:03,660 --> 00:33:04,550
>> Freddy: Alien.
687
00:33:05,530 --> 00:33:08,322
>> Parker: Alan had to step out because of some obligations.
688
00:33:08,466 --> 00:33:11,366
But Alan, um. I don't even know what
689
00:33:11,388 --> 00:33:14,186
the hell Fred's talking about. Man, I wish I could catch you up on this,
690
00:33:14,208 --> 00:33:16,602
because listen to this.
691
00:33:16,656 --> 00:33:19,478
>> Freddy: Aturo Guillate. Santa
692
00:33:19,494 --> 00:33:21,014
Claus. That's real.
693
00:33:21,072 --> 00:33:21,962
>> Parker: That's Santa Claus.
694
00:33:22,026 --> 00:33:24,986
>> Freddy: That's his name. He was born in Alaska, walked
695
00:33:25,018 --> 00:33:27,806
across the Russia, walked across the
696
00:33:27,828 --> 00:33:30,414
border, straight to Russia, and then straight from
697
00:33:30,452 --> 00:33:33,150
Russia in the siberian mountains.
698
00:33:33,730 --> 00:33:36,638
Everybody thinks he's in Antarctica. He's not. He's in the
699
00:33:36,644 --> 00:33:39,442
siberian mountains, um, of Russia. He got these big ass
700
00:33:39,496 --> 00:33:42,114
dogs. They make reindeers. That's some big
701
00:33:42,152 --> 00:33:42,574
dogs.
702
00:33:42,622 --> 00:33:45,102
>> Parker: The weirdest. This is a really magic
703
00:33:45,166 --> 00:33:45,634
dog.
704
00:33:45,752 --> 00:33:48,680
>> Freddy: They magic dogs, man. What's his name again?
705
00:33:49,130 --> 00:33:50,642
Aturo gariate.
706
00:33:50,706 --> 00:33:52,120
>> Parker: I feel like this is like.
707
00:33:52,650 --> 00:33:54,806
>> Freddy: We call him art. We call him art.
708
00:33:54,908 --> 00:33:57,878
>> Parker: Call him a little arty, look him up, google it. That's what
709
00:33:57,884 --> 00:34:00,422
I told him. It was like, art is art. Christmas present.
710
00:34:00,476 --> 00:34:01,110
>> Freddy: And you know what?
711
00:34:01,180 --> 00:34:02,406
>> Parker: When you google it, what you don't.
712
00:34:02,438 --> 00:34:05,260
>> Freddy: Find, you know what you're going to find? Google it. You're not going to find
713
00:34:05,870 --> 00:34:08,682
nothing, because the white man wants to cover
714
00:34:08,736 --> 00:34:09,434
up.
715
00:34:09,632 --> 00:34:12,158
>> Parker: It's a cover up. This all happened in 221
716
00:34:12,244 --> 00:34:15,166
AD. This is deep. 221
717
00:34:15,188 --> 00:34:18,046
AD. He
718
00:34:18,068 --> 00:34:19,760
just said the year two, two, one.
719
00:34:20,930 --> 00:34:21,950
>> Freddy: Julius
720
00:34:23,250 --> 00:34:24,294
Africanus.
721
00:34:24,362 --> 00:34:26,290
>> Parker: I don't know what the hell going on.
722
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,709
>> Freddy: He made it up. This is like, become, uh,
723
00:34:29,889 --> 00:34:31,486
uh, Sextus.
724
00:34:31,598 --> 00:34:33,954
>> Parker: Like scat comedy, jazz night.
725
00:34:34,152 --> 00:34:35,262
>> Freddy: Sextus. Julian.
726
00:34:35,326 --> 00:34:36,210
>> Parker: I love it.
727
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,330
>> Freddy: Julius.
728
00:34:37,670 --> 00:34:40,646
>> Parker: Okay, so what about him? I'm going to look
729
00:34:40,668 --> 00:34:43,526
him up, but you got to spell it. Can you spell it?
730
00:34:43,708 --> 00:34:44,722
>> Freddy: Sex?
731
00:34:44,866 --> 00:34:47,718
>> Parker: I don't think I can google that, man. I got kids. You can't
732
00:34:47,734 --> 00:34:49,814
get Google. Sexist. Majupidus.
733
00:34:49,942 --> 00:34:50,342
>> Freddy: Sex.
734
00:34:50,406 --> 00:34:51,450
>> Parker: Naked priest.
735
00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:54,422
>> Freddy: Sextus. Sex.
736
00:34:54,486 --> 00:34:56,474
>> Parker: Tus. All right.
737
00:34:56,672 --> 00:34:57,462
>> Freddy: Tuss.
738
00:34:57,606 --> 00:34:58,966
>> Parker: Tarquinius.
739
00:34:59,090 --> 00:35:00,982
>> Freddy: Uh, no, I didn't say that's sexist.
740
00:35:01,046 --> 00:35:03,900
>> Parker: Tarquinius. That's his brother. I don't like him.
741
00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:05,642
Sextus rocious.
742
00:35:05,786 --> 00:35:08,480
>> Freddy: S-E-X-T-U-S. Yeah, I got that.
743
00:35:09,010 --> 00:35:11,870
Julius or Julius
744
00:35:12,390 --> 00:35:13,022
Caesar.
745
00:35:13,086 --> 00:35:17,860
A-F-R-I-C-A-N-U-S.
746
00:35:19,270 --> 00:35:20,318
Africanus.
747
00:35:20,414 --> 00:35:21,970
>> Parker: Oh, I see it. I see it.
748
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,786
>> Freddy: Yes. The only thing you're going to
749
00:35:24,808 --> 00:35:25,380
find.
750
00:35:26,630 --> 00:35:28,980
>> Parker: That is the only thing I can find about it.
751
00:35:30,790 --> 00:35:32,266
No, he's in there, buddy.
752
00:35:32,398 --> 00:35:32,918
>> Freddy: I told you.
753
00:35:32,924 --> 00:35:34,614
>> Parker: Yeah, he was in there. He's always say?
754
00:35:34,652 --> 00:35:36,006
>> Freddy: What does it say about it?
755
00:35:36,028 --> 00:35:38,966
>> Parker: It says whatever you said. I don't even know. Uh-huh. I
756
00:35:38,988 --> 00:35:41,958
can't put the emphasis on the
757
00:35:41,964 --> 00:35:44,874
salauval. Um, you do, buddy. But it says
758
00:35:44,912 --> 00:35:47,126
the roman christian historian sexist Julius
759
00:35:47,158 --> 00:35:49,846
Africanus dated Jesus's conception to march
760
00:35:49,878 --> 00:35:52,698
25, the same date upon which he held that the
761
00:35:52,704 --> 00:35:55,502
world was created. So there you go. He's got that.
762
00:35:55,636 --> 00:35:58,462
Which after nine months in his mother's womb, and this would result
763
00:35:58,516 --> 00:36:00,766
in a December 25 birth. See?
764
00:36:00,868 --> 00:36:01,520
Wow.
765
00:36:03,490 --> 00:36:06,302
So everybody listening to this, you never
766
00:36:06,356 --> 00:36:09,214
thought you were going to on some deep stuff. Now
767
00:36:09,252 --> 00:36:12,190
this is like deep state. I'm telling you, QAnon,
768
00:36:12,930 --> 00:36:14,882
I don't like gold Christmas QAnon.
769
00:36:14,986 --> 00:36:17,766
>> Freddy: I don't like to go deep in my stuff because you get
770
00:36:17,788 --> 00:36:20,694
too serious. Be on list. And I don't like being on list.
771
00:36:20,732 --> 00:36:21,366
>> Parker: It's true.
772
00:36:21,468 --> 00:36:22,758
>> Freddy: I don't like being on list.
773
00:36:22,844 --> 00:36:25,814
>> Parker: It's true. I don't believe me for that. No one likes being on the list.
774
00:36:25,852 --> 00:36:27,398
>> Freddy: No, I'm not on the list.
775
00:36:27,564 --> 00:36:30,518
>> Parker: But let's lighten up the mood up
776
00:36:30,524 --> 00:36:31,160
a little.
777
00:36:32,110 --> 00:36:32,860
>> Freddy: Sorry.
778
00:36:34,910 --> 00:36:37,370
>> Parker: This was supposed to be like a puff beast for Fred
779
00:36:38,110 --> 00:36:41,002
where he was just like, hey, in 1947
780
00:36:41,056 --> 00:36:44,030
they said Christmas trees are cool. And it went to a real
781
00:36:44,100 --> 00:36:46,298
weird place right off the gap.
782
00:36:46,474 --> 00:36:49,406
>> Freddy: We should have known because you took it too
783
00:36:49,428 --> 00:36:49,818
deep.
784
00:36:49,914 --> 00:36:50,430
>> Parker: We knew.
785
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:53,374
>> Freddy: Jesus. Yeah, you just want
786
00:36:53,412 --> 00:36:54,750
a little puppy.
787
00:36:56,850 --> 00:36:59,554
Morning drive radio man. Yeah, I want to know about the
788
00:36:59,592 --> 00:37:00,500
dude that.
789
00:37:02,550 --> 00:37:03,774
>> Parker: People know the truth.
790
00:37:03,822 --> 00:37:06,594
>> Freddy: The truth is, truth ain't out there.
791
00:37:06,792 --> 00:37:09,542
>> Parker: What do you want to. So that guy
792
00:37:09,596 --> 00:37:11,478
started Christmas is what you're telling me.
793
00:37:11,644 --> 00:37:14,070
>> Freddy: Maybe you decide.
794
00:37:15,930 --> 00:37:17,350
>> Parker: You told me you needed to tell.
795
00:37:17,420 --> 00:37:18,950
>> Freddy: I'm just giving you clues.
796
00:37:24,110 --> 00:37:27,014
Cage over here, man. Black Nicholas
797
00:37:27,062 --> 00:37:27,770
Cage.
798
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,866
>> Parker: Uh, he's the man, everybody. Yeah, he did
799
00:37:31,888 --> 00:37:32,460
go.
800
00:37:35,310 --> 00:37:37,680
Why I say a good movie of his
801
00:37:39,890 --> 00:37:42,798
con air or like raising Arizona or like
802
00:37:42,884 --> 00:37:44,610
he did going to Las Vegas.
803
00:37:45,190 --> 00:37:47,134
>> Freddy: I did. Done in 30 seconds.
804
00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:50,050
>> Parker: No, you took five minutes. And I don't know if anybody
805
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,398
learned anything about bliculous cage.
806
00:37:52,574 --> 00:37:55,490
Blickly black Nicholas Cage.
807
00:37:56,070 --> 00:37:58,606
>> Freddy: I done a whole bunch of terrible movies.
808
00:37:58,798 --> 00:38:00,674
>> Parker: You have done a lot of terrible. I will give you that.
809
00:38:00,712 --> 00:38:00,890
>> Freddy: Terrible.
810
00:38:00,910 --> 00:38:02,514
>> Parker: I'll give you that. You've done a lot of terrible movies.
811
00:38:02,562 --> 00:38:05,526
>> Freddy: I do. I have. One is too many. And that's ah, all
812
00:38:05,548 --> 00:38:06,118
I've done.
813
00:38:06,204 --> 00:38:07,640
>> Parker: One is just the right amount.
814
00:38:08,510 --> 00:38:10,940
So, ladies and gentlemen, m that was
815
00:38:11,710 --> 00:38:14,602
the history Christmas. The only one
816
00:38:14,656 --> 00:38:17,306
probably. I don't know if we
817
00:38:17,328 --> 00:38:17,802
have.
818
00:38:17,936 --> 00:38:19,580
>> Freddy: Is there going to be a part two?
819
00:38:20,590 --> 00:38:23,294
>> Parker: Is there going to be a part two, Fred? Maybe after
820
00:38:23,332 --> 00:38:26,126
management uh, maybe after you
821
00:38:26,148 --> 00:38:29,118
meet with management, there'll be a part two in a couple of
822
00:38:29,124 --> 00:38:30,670
weeks. If you've learned your lesson,
823
00:38:31,890 --> 00:38:33,780
you'll know by next week.
824
00:38:35,750 --> 00:38:38,706
Fred's back next week? We're still
825
00:38:38,728 --> 00:38:40,850
going to have Fred on the show. He'll just have a different voice.
826
00:38:41,830 --> 00:38:43,986
Oh, hello. I am Fred, your friend.
827
00:38:44,088 --> 00:38:46,210
>> Freddy: I am Fred. Pizza, right.
828
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,140
>> Parker: Santa. Santa, uh, is real, people.
829
00:38:52,250 --> 00:38:54,700
Speaking of Santa and real, uh,
830
00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:57,946
uh, the history of Christmas, part one is brought to
831
00:38:57,968 --> 00:39:00,250
you by the International Tinsel consortium.
832
00:39:00,670 --> 00:39:02,860
Tinsel. You know, you need it.
833
00:39:05,550 --> 00:39:07,020
We control that.
834
00:39:08,670 --> 00:39:11,450
Go to International. Yeah. Internationaltenselconortium.
835
00:39:11,970 --> 00:39:14,906
>> Freddy: Na, I remember the good old days where you just grabbed
836
00:39:14,938 --> 00:39:16,298
big, full handfuls.
837
00:39:16,474 --> 00:39:19,006
>> Parker: And they had tinsel growing on trees. Remember that?
838
00:39:19,188 --> 00:39:21,802
Growing on trees out everywhere.
839
00:39:21,866 --> 00:39:22,474
>> Freddy: All that tin.
840
00:39:22,522 --> 00:39:24,446
>> Parker: And then it's a mafia look.
841
00:39:24,468 --> 00:39:26,638
>> Freddy: Like spanish moss. So much tinsel.
842
00:39:26,734 --> 00:39:29,666
>> Parker: Yeah, exactly. But now, uh, you have
843
00:39:29,688 --> 00:39:32,174
to go to unitedtencilcontortium.
844
00:39:32,302 --> 00:39:34,794
>> Freddy: Na, that's a funny word. Tinsel.
845
00:39:34,942 --> 00:39:35,666
>> Parker: Pencil.
846
00:39:35,778 --> 00:39:36,370
>> Freddy: Tinsel.
847
00:39:36,450 --> 00:39:39,302
>> Parker: It's because it's ten. It used to be made out of ten.
848
00:39:39,436 --> 00:39:40,120
>> Freddy: Really?
849
00:39:40,650 --> 00:39:42,040
>> Parker: I guess. I don't know.
850
00:39:43,130 --> 00:39:44,790
>> Speaker A: Grab me some of the tinsel.
851
00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:47,126
All right.
852
00:39:47,148 --> 00:39:48,570
>> Parker: Fred. Management.
853
00:39:51,630 --> 00:39:52,940
>> Freddy: Look at my hands.
854
00:39:54,030 --> 00:39:56,806
>> Parker: Breaking news. Wait, I got to get it. Breaking
855
00:39:56,838 --> 00:39:57,420
news.
856
00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:01,934
Management just announced Fred next
857
00:40:01,972 --> 00:40:04,734
week in a bid to redeem yourself in their
858
00:40:04,772 --> 00:40:07,360
eyes, the history of Tencel, part one.
859
00:40:11,170 --> 00:40:13,774
And they said if it has anything to do with an african
860
00:40:13,822 --> 00:40:16,658
person or any name with an s on the, uh, end,
861
00:40:16,744 --> 00:40:19,566
you're out. There's
862
00:40:19,598 --> 00:40:21,780
already a history of Tencel, part one.
863
00:40:22,550 --> 00:40:25,506
Oh, holiday of Tencel. Okay, good. Well,
864
00:40:25,528 --> 00:40:26,782
so next week, Fred.
865
00:40:26,926 --> 00:40:27,282
>> Freddy: Yes.
866
00:40:27,336 --> 00:40:28,434
>> Parker: History of tensile, part one.
867
00:40:28,472 --> 00:40:29,534
>> Freddy: History of tinsel.
868
00:40:29,582 --> 00:40:32,486
>> Parker: Only on the Blacklinky collective podcast run up to
869
00:40:32,508 --> 00:40:33,798
Christmas. Where is she going?
870
00:40:33,804 --> 00:40:36,406
>> Freddy: To get your news from
871
00:40:36,428 --> 00:40:37,000
the.
872
00:40:37,770 --> 00:40:40,330
>> Parker: You go to the unitedtenciplecontortium.org, or
873
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,066
na, and they will give you all the news. We
874
00:40:43,088 --> 00:40:45,114
will broadcast this on there
875
00:40:45,232 --> 00:40:48,006
hashtag Unitedtencelconsortium
876
00:40:48,118 --> 00:40:50,150
na. Fred's
877
00:40:50,310 --> 00:40:51,930
historyoftenselparone.
878
00:40:53,070 --> 00:40:54,666
Blacklinkllective.com.
879
00:40:54,768 --> 00:40:55,634
>> Freddy: Tensol.
880
00:40:55,782 --> 00:40:58,558
>> Parker: Perfect. Yeah, dude, it's a real.
881
00:40:58,644 --> 00:40:59,342
Probably a real.
882
00:40:59,396 --> 00:41:01,290
>> Freddy: That means that they just meet about tinsel.
883
00:41:01,370 --> 00:41:04,354
>> Parker: No, they run the tinsel game, man. You want Tencel, it goes through
884
00:41:04,392 --> 00:41:07,220
them. You know how it is. Uh,
885
00:41:08,150 --> 00:41:10,640
inflation. All this inflation that we're talking about.
886
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,506
Uh, consortium, man. They're up to their
887
00:41:13,528 --> 00:41:16,498
old tricks, okay? They're
888
00:41:16,514 --> 00:41:17,874
like, no, not this year, boys.
889
00:41:17,922 --> 00:41:19,734
>> Freddy: Puppet masters, okay? Right?
890
00:41:19,772 --> 00:41:22,006
>> Parker: That's how they roll. And that's why we support them
891
00:41:22,028 --> 00:41:23,000
100%.
892
00:41:25,050 --> 00:41:27,350
All hail the United tussle consortium.
893
00:41:28,810 --> 00:41:30,920
No, not Ziggy. No.
894
00:41:33,530 --> 00:41:36,118
>> Freddy: Make no mistake accusing them of.
895
00:41:36,204 --> 00:41:39,014
No, we have to cut
896
00:41:39,052 --> 00:41:39,800
that out.
897
00:41:53,810 --> 00:41:56,746
>> Parker: So, yeah, speaking of, what we're going to do is the mystery
898
00:41:56,778 --> 00:41:59,646
can challenge is going to be live.
899
00:41:59,828 --> 00:42:02,478
We were going to put it on the end of the show. I don't know if we have enough time to do
900
00:42:02,484 --> 00:42:05,074
it. So we might have to do it, like, on a Facebook
901
00:42:05,162 --> 00:42:06,840
live event
902
00:42:07,770 --> 00:42:10,614
later on. Not today. Maybe next
903
00:42:10,652 --> 00:42:13,558
week, maybe tomorrow. We need to get
904
00:42:13,564 --> 00:42:16,280
some people, more people in there. I have this, though,
905
00:42:17,530 --> 00:42:20,266
so. Got that going for me. I can't open it up. You want me to open
906
00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:23,178
it? M. What are your guesses, Fred? That's what I want to. What are
907
00:42:23,184 --> 00:42:25,018
you and Alan's guesses? Let me show you the can.
908
00:42:25,104 --> 00:42:25,546
>> Freddy: See?
909
00:42:25,648 --> 00:42:27,020
>> Parker: I made can.
910
00:42:27,390 --> 00:42:28,506
>> Freddy: That's can.
911
00:42:28,688 --> 00:42:29,420
>> Parker: Boom. Boom. Um.
912
00:42:29,734 --> 00:42:31,034
>> Freddy: What does it say? What does that say on.
913
00:42:31,072 --> 00:42:31,980
>> Parker: Here's the sound.
914
00:42:34,050 --> 00:42:36,878
Gross. Peaches. He says peaches. Alan, what do you
915
00:42:36,884 --> 00:42:39,790
got? The words on top of it are not
916
00:42:39,860 --> 00:42:41,674
in English. It's like, blim flap.
917
00:42:41,722 --> 00:42:42,078
>> Freddy: What?
918
00:42:42,164 --> 00:42:42,990
>> Parker: 2022.
919
00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:43,840
>> Freddy: No, it's not, uh.
920
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,738
>> Parker: No, it's not like I say not English, but it's. Hold on. I'll tell you
921
00:42:46,744 --> 00:42:47,538
exactly what it says.
922
00:42:47,624 --> 00:42:48,210
>> Freddy: Yes.
923
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:49,220
>> Parker: It says,
924
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,666
uh, 48249.
925
00:42:53,848 --> 00:42:55,858
B, five, c, one se,
926
00:42:56,024 --> 00:42:57,880
16, uh, parenthes.
927
00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:58,822
>> Freddy: Uh, that's government.
928
00:42:58,876 --> 00:43:00,758
>> Parker: Best Buy, March 5, 2024.
929
00:43:00,844 --> 00:43:03,000
>> Freddy: That's government. Don't open it.
930
00:43:06,890 --> 00:43:08,150
>> Parker: Government cheese.
931
00:43:09,230 --> 00:43:11,870
>> Freddy: I think it's probably, uh,
932
00:43:11,870 --> 00:43:14,486
powdered weasel. Tinsel,
933
00:43:14,598 --> 00:43:15,260
maybe?
934
00:43:15,790 --> 00:43:18,250
>> Parker: Could be tinsel. That would be the gag.
935
00:43:18,590 --> 00:43:19,900
>> Freddy: I want to open it.
936
00:43:21,630 --> 00:43:23,520
>> Parker: We have to open it up. Shake it again.
937
00:43:25,010 --> 00:43:26,510
>> Freddy: Pickle. Pine cone.
938
00:43:26,850 --> 00:43:28,560
>> Parker: That sounds gross. Why would I
939
00:43:29,570 --> 00:43:32,238
be anything, man? It could be beans. I don't
940
00:43:32,244 --> 00:43:32,714
know.
941
00:43:32,852 --> 00:43:34,450
>> Freddy: I'm saying it's peas.
942
00:43:35,750 --> 00:43:37,410
No, it's not peas.
943
00:43:39,510 --> 00:43:40,786
Don't open it.
944
00:43:40,968 --> 00:43:42,020
>> Parker: Okay, I'll wait.
945
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:42,980
>> Freddy: Um.
946
00:43:42,980 --> 00:43:45,858
>> Parker: I'll wait till I get better lighting to open it. There you go.
947
00:43:45,944 --> 00:43:48,280
Like, just cracking and smell it. And I tell you what it is.
948
00:43:52,570 --> 00:43:54,710
I don't like the mystery juice challenge.
949
00:43:56,730 --> 00:43:58,226
That would go viral.
950
00:43:58,418 --> 00:43:59,626
>> Freddy: If you put a hole in it.
951
00:43:59,648 --> 00:44:02,330
>> Parker: And drink the juice, uh, that would go viral.
952
00:44:03,950 --> 00:44:06,746
That's step two. That's like the
953
00:44:06,768 --> 00:44:09,706
ALS ice bucket challenge. Yeah, that's like, when
954
00:44:09,728 --> 00:44:11,434
people started bringing it to the next level.
955
00:44:11,552 --> 00:44:12,742
>> Freddy: Oh, my goodness.
956
00:44:12,886 --> 00:44:15,550
>> Parker: You know what I mean? Like, where somebody would, like, be on a jet ski.
957
00:44:16,290 --> 00:44:18,942
>> Freddy: It's crazy, because somebody always
958
00:44:18,996 --> 00:44:21,678
dies when they do that challenge. I mean, I don't care what challenge it
959
00:44:21,684 --> 00:44:22,746
is. Somebody dies.
960
00:44:22,778 --> 00:44:25,746
>> Parker: Well, somebody's going to take it too far. What was the one, the milk crate challenge where
961
00:44:25,768 --> 00:44:28,706
people were just getting their neck? Well,
962
00:44:28,728 --> 00:44:29,938
that's stupid, though.
963
00:44:30,104 --> 00:44:33,022
>> Freddy: The two dumbest had to be tide pod.
964
00:44:33,166 --> 00:44:34,930
And that alcohol.
965
00:44:35,990 --> 00:44:38,610
>> Parker: Where you, like, put booze up your butt. No.
966
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,640
>> Freddy: Where you pour rubbing alcohol on yourself.
967
00:44:42,330 --> 00:44:43,030
>> Parker: Yeah.
968
00:44:43,180 --> 00:44:45,750
>> Freddy: And then try to jump in the shower to put it out.
969
00:44:45,900 --> 00:44:48,850
>> Parker: Let me ask you a question, Fred. Is that stupid or is
970
00:44:48,860 --> 00:44:51,818
that just nature's way of figuring something out, man?
971
00:44:51,904 --> 00:44:54,774
Is that nature's way of being like, I'm going to save someone else the trouble
972
00:44:54,822 --> 00:44:57,082
later. Take care of them.
973
00:44:57,136 --> 00:44:59,986
>> Freddy: Entertainment, Darwin,
974
00:45:00,038 --> 00:45:01,626
entertainment news, dude.
975
00:45:01,658 --> 00:45:03,200
>> Parker: I mean, people will do anything
976
00:45:04,770 --> 00:45:07,360
for whatever we're not going to do.
977
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,190
>> Freddy: Uh, the mystery can drink challenge.
978
00:45:14,050 --> 00:45:14,654
>> Speaker A: Oh, my God.
979
00:45:14,692 --> 00:45:15,950
>> Freddy: It was arsenic.
980
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,810
>> Parker: Uh, what to drink?
981
00:45:22,310 --> 00:45:24,018
No, we're not doing that.
982
00:45:24,024 --> 00:45:26,918
>> Freddy: One podcast told me to do it.
983
00:45:27,004 --> 00:45:29,894
>> Parker: Yeah, everybody. Yeah, blame us. Blame us,
984
00:45:29,932 --> 00:45:32,310
kids. Allegedly.
985
00:45:33,530 --> 00:45:36,386
We allegedly were the first people to tweet. I'm
986
00:45:36,418 --> 00:45:39,286
shocked that no one else has tweeted about the mystery can challenge because it
987
00:45:39,308 --> 00:45:42,154
seems like that's something someone would have come up with before me. Or
988
00:45:42,192 --> 00:45:45,146
us. Royal us. But they
989
00:45:45,168 --> 00:45:47,014
didn't because they're stupid. We're smart.
990
00:45:47,062 --> 00:45:47,770
>> Freddy: I guess not.
991
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:50,702
>> Parker: We are so smart. S-M-R-T-I mean,
992
00:45:50,756 --> 00:45:52,160
S-M-A-R-T.
993
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:55,840
>> Speaker A: Uh.
994
00:45:55,900 --> 00:45:58,794
>> Parker: Uh. Yeah, well, it's. It is the holiday season,
995
00:45:58,842 --> 00:45:59,290
Fred.
996
00:45:59,370 --> 00:46:00,238
>> Freddy: It is.
997
00:46:00,404 --> 00:46:02,960
>> Parker: And when the holidays are
998
00:46:03,330 --> 00:46:06,234
what? Sometimes, Fred, your bung holes
999
00:46:06,282 --> 00:46:07,018
out of shape.
1000
00:46:07,114 --> 00:46:07,760
>> Freddy: What?
1001
00:46:08,290 --> 00:46:11,154
>> Parker: Yep. Sometimes your bung holes just not
1002
00:46:11,352 --> 00:46:14,020
performing up to the level
1003
00:46:14,470 --> 00:46:17,022
that a bunghole is made to perform
1004
00:46:17,096 --> 00:46:18,790
at. Now, Fred,
1005
00:46:19,930 --> 00:46:21,990
you know what a bunghole is, don't you?
1006
00:46:22,060 --> 00:46:24,294
>> Freddy: I do know what a bunghole is.
1007
00:46:24,412 --> 00:46:25,346
>> Parker: I feel like you don't.
1008
00:46:25,378 --> 00:46:27,894
>> Freddy: I feel like I know what
1009
00:46:28,092 --> 00:46:30,850
a bunghole. It's the hole in a, uh.
1010
00:46:31,050 --> 00:46:33,160
>> Parker: Right. He's right. Now, did you know that
1011
00:46:38,650 --> 00:46:39,880
if you go to
1012
00:47:03,990 --> 00:47:06,386
listen to this, look at that. Get your
1013
00:47:06,408 --> 00:47:08,978
bungholes rounded out correctly.
1014
00:47:09,154 --> 00:47:09,870
Go to m
1015
00:47:09,870 --> 00:47:13,240
mcphersonbungholeandmuckluckltd.com.
1016
00:47:14,650 --> 00:47:17,110
McPherson, muckluck and bunghole.
1017
00:47:18,090 --> 00:47:19,610
We're here for your holes.
1018
00:47:23,950 --> 00:47:26,934
We have a lot of sponsors tonight, man. It's the season,
1019
00:47:26,982 --> 00:47:29,834
though, man. Everybody's trying to get you to their website, trying to get them
1020
00:47:29,872 --> 00:47:32,454
Black Friday sales. Uh, black Lincoln collective, Black Friday
1021
00:47:32,502 --> 00:47:35,310
sale. Do we have one? Management.
1022
00:47:36,290 --> 00:47:39,086
Management? No, nothing. Okay. No. Oh, wait, we
1023
00:47:39,108 --> 00:47:42,030
do. Are we releasing from what I. Wait, they just
1024
00:47:42,100 --> 00:47:44,990
shouted to me that
1025
00:47:45,140 --> 00:47:47,914
Fred's Christmas album, a little Christmas
1026
00:47:47,962 --> 00:47:50,530
Freddy Christmas. Isn't that a taste of Freddie Christmas?
1027
00:47:52,550 --> 00:47:55,282
It's whatever they said is going to be
1028
00:47:55,336 --> 00:47:57,858
dropped on Black Friday. Is that correct? Is that correct,
1029
00:47:57,944 --> 00:48:00,886
anybody? We get confirmation on that? It will be dropped on
1030
00:48:00,908 --> 00:48:03,766
or around Black Friday, I don't know. But if you
1031
00:48:03,788 --> 00:48:06,726
want to get it, uh, we'll put a link on our Facebook page
1032
00:48:06,748 --> 00:48:07,830
and on our twitter.
1033
00:48:09,130 --> 00:48:11,174
>> Freddy: We'll release it on Black Friday.
1034
00:48:11,222 --> 00:48:12,940
>> Parker: Yes. Oh, look at that. There you go.
1035
00:48:14,430 --> 00:48:17,040
And it will be 10:00 a.m.. Um,
1036
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,834
$20 a track. $25 a track.
1037
00:48:19,872 --> 00:48:20,960
Itunes only
1038
00:48:22,210 --> 00:48:22,960
worth.
1039
00:48:26,850 --> 00:48:29,834
Actually, what I'm going to do is I'm going to drop it on a podcast.
1040
00:48:29,882 --> 00:48:31,258
>> Freddy: Like a regular podcast.
1041
00:48:31,434 --> 00:48:34,240
>> Parker: Okay. Yeah. So we'll drop that on Monday. Well, when you're hearing this. Um,
1042
00:48:34,690 --> 00:48:37,550
no, it'll be Black Friday. Yeah, it'll be m Monday.
1043
00:48:37,630 --> 00:48:40,530
>> Freddy: It'll be Monday, but I'll drop it is M Monday.
1044
00:48:41,190 --> 00:48:41,900
I'll do Freddie.
1045
00:48:41,900 --> 00:48:43,394
>> Parker: Uh, Black Friday's over.
1046
00:48:43,512 --> 00:48:45,570
>> Freddy: Christmas thing on Friday.
1047
00:48:46,090 --> 00:48:48,886
>> Parker: Great. Well, I'm going to give you this for a minute, Alan, just to pump you
1048
00:48:48,908 --> 00:48:49,480
up.
1049
00:48:53,130 --> 00:48:54,390
WB edition.
1050
00:48:57,690 --> 00:48:59,080
So much Christmas music.
1051
00:48:59,450 --> 00:49:02,346
Okay, so what is the Christmas gift? What's the hot Christmas gift this
1052
00:49:02,368 --> 00:49:05,318
year? Anybody? I got nothing. I don't, um, know I don't
1053
00:49:05,334 --> 00:49:06,938
have PlayStation five.
1054
00:49:07,024 --> 00:49:07,434
>> Freddy: Come on.
1055
00:49:07,472 --> 00:49:10,442
>> Parker: PlayStation, Xbox, PlayStation five is available.
1056
00:49:10,496 --> 00:49:11,902
You can buy one right now. You can buy one.
1057
00:49:11,956 --> 00:49:14,350
>> Freddy: Yeah. Not buying one for $1,000.
1058
00:49:14,500 --> 00:49:16,862
>> Parker: No, you buy them right now. PlayStation five.
1059
00:49:16,916 --> 00:49:19,854
Ps for $35.
1060
00:49:20,052 --> 00:49:20,800
>> Freddy: Yeah.
1061
00:49:21,250 --> 00:49:23,054
>> Parker: Dang, they are $1,000, man.
1062
00:49:23,092 --> 00:49:23,570
>> Speaker A: For real.
1063
00:49:23,570 --> 00:49:26,206
>> Parker: Uh, I thought they were cheaper, but.
1064
00:49:26,228 --> 00:49:28,646
>> Freddy: No, those are like the horse.
1065
00:49:28,698 --> 00:49:30,430
>> Parker: Those got, like, some headphones. Yeah.
1066
00:49:30,430 --> 00:49:32,050
>> Freddy: Ah, those are the horse.
1067
00:49:34,070 --> 00:49:37,026
>> Parker: Well, you can get a PlayStation four for 279.
1068
00:49:37,048 --> 00:49:38,054
Why don't you just get two of those?
1069
00:49:38,092 --> 00:49:39,640
>> Freddy: I got one. Then you have eight,
1070
00:49:41,290 --> 00:49:41,938
baby.
1071
00:49:42,034 --> 00:49:43,154
>> Parker: Four plus four, baby.
1072
00:49:43,202 --> 00:49:45,942
>> Freddy: I've been the meta, and I glued them together.
1073
00:49:45,996 --> 00:49:48,866
>> Parker: Hot glued them together. Speaking of that, did you see meta's
1074
00:49:48,898 --> 00:49:51,740
thing that they. Okay, no, I'm still against.
1075
00:49:52,110 --> 00:49:55,066
Okay, so they used, like, I don't remember
1076
00:49:55,088 --> 00:49:57,994
what it's called. Something fancy, like Willow Wisp or something. That's probably
1077
00:49:58,032 --> 00:49:59,390
not that. Um.
1078
00:49:59,390 --> 00:50:01,514
>> Freddy: Oh, the real face.
1079
00:50:01,712 --> 00:50:04,398
>> Parker: No, they used, um, the hologram technology
1080
00:50:04,564 --> 00:50:07,530
that brought Tupac back to life mixed
1081
00:50:07,610 --> 00:50:10,462
with real time capturing. So it's like a little box,
1082
00:50:10,516 --> 00:50:13,498
like a little phone booth. They can project your hologram
1083
00:50:13,594 --> 00:50:16,594
anywhere in the world in real time. It looks really
1084
00:50:16,632 --> 00:50:19,566
cool, man. Uh, uh, it's
1085
00:50:19,598 --> 00:50:22,466
kind of a gimmicky thing, but if you want to have a hologram, you
1086
00:50:22,488 --> 00:50:22,866
can.
1087
00:50:22,968 --> 00:50:24,354
>> Freddy: Yeah, it's cool, though.
1088
00:50:24,392 --> 00:50:27,206
>> Parker: And, like, great idea. It's teleporting. They were like, this is like
1089
00:50:27,228 --> 00:50:30,118
teleporting anywhere in the world. I'm like, no, because, you
1090
00:50:30,124 --> 00:50:32,966
know, it's not that. Uh, it's not that, but
1091
00:50:32,988 --> 00:50:33,270
okay.
1092
00:50:33,340 --> 00:50:35,240
>> Freddy: I mean, uh, get it.
1093
00:50:35,770 --> 00:50:38,680
>> Parker: What they didn't tell you is when you go, when they
1094
00:50:39,070 --> 00:50:41,740
pop into the other one, they shoot you in real life.
1095
00:50:42,510 --> 00:50:44,326
Got you. And then you're like, I teleported.
1096
00:50:44,358 --> 00:50:46,860
>> Freddy: Now I'm over here. You better do that.
1097
00:50:49,790 --> 00:50:50,506
>> Parker: You wake up.
1098
00:50:50,528 --> 00:50:53,486
>> Freddy: Your pay, your child support
1099
00:50:53,588 --> 00:50:55,840
got you. Finally,
1100
00:50:56,370 --> 00:50:57,454
the stuff, they show up.
1101
00:50:57,492 --> 00:50:59,182
>> Parker: 23 andme told you what it is, man.
1102
00:50:59,236 --> 00:51:00,942
>> Freddy: It's the future. They are.
1103
00:51:00,996 --> 00:51:03,886
>> Parker: Well, it is the future, but it is. But you also said that
1104
00:51:03,908 --> 00:51:06,786
the world, well, hold on a second. Because two
1105
00:51:06,808 --> 00:51:09,778
weeks ago you said the world where it was going to, like, governments were going to
1106
00:51:09,784 --> 00:51:12,706
collapse and we were going to live in
1107
00:51:12,728 --> 00:51:13,620
these small,
1108
00:51:14,150 --> 00:51:15,730
cavemanesque,
1109
00:51:16,790 --> 00:51:19,478
post apocalyptic, walking dead ass community,
1110
00:51:19,564 --> 00:51:21,878
right? And now you're saying that we're going to have space
1111
00:51:21,964 --> 00:51:24,422
ninjas traveling with our
1112
00:51:24,556 --> 00:51:27,414
meetings in the future. What future is going to happen
1113
00:51:27,452 --> 00:51:28,210
here, Fred?
1114
00:51:28,370 --> 00:51:31,242
>> Freddy: But see, I said we would live
1115
00:51:31,296 --> 00:51:33,942
like me. People like you and me. Just average
1116
00:51:34,006 --> 00:51:34,390
Joe.
1117
00:51:34,470 --> 00:51:35,480
>> Parker: I see what you're saying.
1118
00:51:37,070 --> 00:51:40,038
>> Freddy: Yeah. It's going to be huge. Worse than it
1119
00:51:40,064 --> 00:51:42,606
is now. Yeah, they're going to be good. It's like
1120
00:51:42,628 --> 00:51:44,980
elysium. Remember that movie? I don't, um,
1121
00:51:45,650 --> 00:51:47,630
what's his name? Jason,
1122
00:51:49,230 --> 00:51:51,790
uh, Matt Damon. Yeah, Matt Damon.
1123
00:51:54,530 --> 00:51:57,330
The people, they lived on Earth, but they had like a huge
1124
00:51:57,400 --> 00:52:00,398
ring, like a halo. You know what I'm
1125
00:52:00,414 --> 00:52:02,978
saying? And they were like the rich would live up on the
1126
00:52:02,984 --> 00:52:05,874
halo and then all the
1127
00:52:05,912 --> 00:52:08,834
USS would be like on earth trying to fight each other
1128
00:52:08,872 --> 00:52:10,206
to live. You know what I'm saying?
1129
00:52:10,270 --> 00:52:11,574
>> Parker: Ah, that's probably what's going to happen.
1130
00:52:11,692 --> 00:52:13,414
>> Freddy: Yeah. I'm telling you.
1131
00:52:13,452 --> 00:52:16,342
>> Parker: Well, don't forget, when it's all over, when the world
1132
00:52:16,396 --> 00:52:17,926
has crashed and destroyed.
1133
00:52:17,958 --> 00:52:19,914
>> Freddy: And fall, we live in a good time.
1134
00:52:19,990 --> 00:52:22,620
>> Parker: Uh, don't worry. Hey, but hey, listen, friend,
1135
00:52:24,350 --> 00:52:26,780
in post apocalyptic world,
1136
00:52:27,550 --> 00:52:30,518
when you finally find shelter, don't
1137
00:52:30,534 --> 00:52:31,930
forget to call kangaroo.
1138
00:52:33,470 --> 00:52:33,930
>> Freddy: Hello.
1139
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,846
>> Parker: Hook you up with a new roof because you're going to need it. And I
1140
00:52:36,868 --> 00:52:39,486
feel like a kangaroo is more suited for post
1141
00:52:39,508 --> 00:52:42,366
apocalyptic landscape than human because they could
1142
00:52:42,388 --> 00:52:43,066
jump over.
1143
00:52:43,188 --> 00:52:46,014
>> Freddy: He's going to be like fused for the nuclear waste.
1144
00:52:46,062 --> 00:52:47,410
>> Parker: Yeah, he's going to be abused.
1145
00:52:49,510 --> 00:52:50,786
It's going to be awesome.
1146
00:52:50,968 --> 00:52:52,210
>> Freddy: Hello, mate.
1147
00:52:53,750 --> 00:52:56,226
Kanga here to do your roof.
1148
00:52:56,408 --> 00:52:59,266
>> Parker: And you know what? The other thing I'll tell you about the post apocalyptic
1149
00:52:59,298 --> 00:53:00,710
wasteland that you are telling?
1150
00:53:03,610 --> 00:53:06,566
Well, you're going to have kangaroo. And the only thing you're going to be able to eat is
1151
00:53:06,588 --> 00:53:09,478
white rice with butter. So invest now. Amc to the
1152
00:53:09,484 --> 00:53:11,510
moon. White rice with butter to the moon, people.
1153
00:53:11,580 --> 00:53:12,050
>> Freddy: Butter.
1154
00:53:12,130 --> 00:53:14,994
>> Parker: We'll see you next week on the Black Clean collective podcast.
1155
00:53:15,042 --> 00:53:16,790
Goodbye, kangaroo.
1156
00:53:22,020 --> 00:53:22,930
>> Speaker A: Uh
1157
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,430
hm
1158
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:45,410
m.
1159
00:53:49,770 --> 00:53:52,726
>> Parker: We are laughing and we are
1160
00:53:52,748 --> 00:53:55,362
very good friends. Good buddies
1161
00:53:55,426 --> 00:53:56,310
sharing a special
1162
00:53:56,380 --> 00:54:02,790
momentum.
1163
00:54:12,930 --> 00:54:15,182
>> Freddy: That's it, man. Game over, man.
1164
00:54:15,236 --> 00:54:16,480
>> Parker: It's game over.
1165
00:54:17,090 --> 00:54:19,678
>> Speaker A: Just hang. Lose blood. She got to catch up on the
1166
00:54:19,684 --> 00:54:21,310
rebound out of Mexico.
1167
00:54:26,450 --> 00:54:27,920
>> Freddy: Oh, uh. What a day.
1168
00:54:31,890 --> 00:54:33,834
>> Speaker A: Well, that's all, folks.
1169
00:54:33,962 --> 00:54:36,354
>> Parker: I still love these. The baby
1170
00:54:36,482 --> 00:54:37,800
goddamn hit.
1171
00:54:40,010 --> 00:54:42,726
Don't worry, nobody's listening anyway, as you.
1172
00:54:42,748 --> 00:54:45,286
>> Freddy: Know, I'm a man of special needs.
1173
00:54:45,388 --> 00:54:46,786
>> Parker: Surely you can't be serious.
1174
00:54:46,898 --> 00:54:48,260
>> Freddy: I am serious. At.